Instructions On How To Smile: Instruction Manual Prose Poem

Hi everyone. Today was my last day of my poetry class. Here I'll be showing my latest version of the instructional prose poem I wrote for the class.

*Note: It's supposed to be written like an instruction manual. It is supposed to be instructions on something we shouldn't need instructions for. The subject is on any innate human ability. Satire is also included in this type of prose poem.

Enjoy! ;)

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Instructions On How To Smile

            First, remember that you are alive. Think of something, anything, that motivates you to keep on living. When you have thought of something, write it down on a piece of paper. Get some tape and stick it onto your bathroom mirror. Reread what you wrote.

            Look at yourself. Watch your reflection staring back at you. Don’t disappoint the person on the other side of the glass. That is not recommended. In order to smile, stretch your lips horizontally. Do not stretch vertically. Imagine that what you wrote down is happening right now. Feel it through all your senses. Live it to the best of your ability. 

            If you are unable to feel joy, fake it till you make it. Despite popular belief, brains aren’t that smart. Using your facial muscles in an attempt to form a smile will trick your brain into feeling better. If you’re still having trouble, have a sense of humor. Remember that life is a joke. Laugh, then smile. Your cheeks and mouth may begin to hurt. Relax your muscles, and most importantly, be kind to yourself.  

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And that's my prose poem with instructions on how to smile. :)

Bye for now. <3 

Metaphor for Starting Recovery

When you first entered the forest, you were scared.
Shivering in fear, you didn’t know where to turn.
That child from long ago had so much to learn—
maybe the kids at school called you weird,
and maybe that’s the first thing that brought you here.
Hidden monsters made you afraid of the dark,
but today, greeting them is a walk in the park.
What happened to all of the fear?
I know, you replaced it with apathy.
You’ve been in the dark for so long
that the monsters now live in your head.
Believe me when I tell you they’re wrong.
Your friends don’t pity you. They’re giving you sympathy.
Take one step: Try to not spend all day in bed.

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Hi everyone, I'm finally back with some new poetry! 

I'm not that sure on the title, but I submitted it as this. Oh yeah. I'm taking a poetry class at school, and this was the most recent poem I wrote for it. It's a Petrarchan sonnet (though we had some flexibility when it came to the syllables, so it didn't have to be ten per line).

I didn't really write poetry during the summer, and I feel like I'm a little rusty. (... maybe?)

Haha, I feel like I can only write poems about (my) mental health. So, uh, this one is more hopeful than a depressing old vent. I've been thinking about healing and recovery a lot lately. I want to be better. And yes, this poem is me @ me.

Bye. <3

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Copied the text I wrote on my deviantart. Read the same poem here.

I'm home now since I have a break from classes.

I'll create more posts later today. Hopefully.

reading , watching

Hi, have another post where I basically just link to a bunch of stuff. 

I went to the cat expo vaguely close by yesterday. If anyone’s interested, I have a few cat pictures I can show. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

no music. 

psych. 

(possible content warning)

-x-x-x-x-x- 

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

https://blog.paolabailey.com/childhood-emotional-neglect-the-long-lasting-impact-of-what-wasnt-there-9fc9f20dcebf

https://blog.paolabailey.com/childhood-emotional-neglect-how-to-replenish-what-wasnt-there-part-2-81512a4acb6f

a video that’s a lecture all about addiction

a video that’s about therapy approaches for anxiety/depression

a video about making a therapy appointment (and more similar things)

I’m so scared...;; 

Bye.

hmm..... videos

I am here to post some videos that other people made.

No, I’m not in the mood to write any explanations on why I’m doing this.

No context, nothing else.

Think of this as being like the video version of that reading post I made not too long ago.

~ Cutepups

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• • • • • •

• • • • • • 

hmm....

<3

hmm..... reading

.................. ok. 

Here are links to stuff I’ve been thinking heavily about (for various reasons). They’re readings with lots of information (well.. duh). I’ll just copy-and-paste with the full URLs (so you can get a hint of what they’re going to link to). 

Personal reading/to-read archive. A place to organize. It’s a reading list. Yeah sure, I guess that’s it. 

.... unrelated- today’s initiation into my Greek life org. (ooh ahh oooooh ahhhhh) :D 

(lol that doesn’t fit the context of this post at all but whatever this is my cursed blog swamp) 

.... I’m so busy later today, and I’ll probably regret staying up to create this post. Haha, oh well. 

ok ok ok-

hmm, hmm, hmm........

*throws these out into the void just for myself but if any of you catches one then that’s cool i guess* 

... wait what? 

(yes.) 

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https://beyondmeds.com/2013/04/24/living-with-suicidal-feelings/

https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/1/19/14266230/empathy-morality-ethics-psychology-compassion-paul-bloom

https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/add-adhd/the-3-types-of-adhd

https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/what-is-cptsd

https://www.verywellmind.com/relationship-between-ptsd-and-psychotic-symptoms-2797525

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324354.php

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/essentials/acute_stress_disorder.asp

https://www.valleybehavioral.com/disorders/ied/signs-symptoms-causes

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3021497/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC60045/

https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/blog/depression-damage-and-regeneration-the-effects-of-hippocampal-atrophy/

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uh ok

yeah umm 

well.. that’s something to read. 

good night.

Very Very Cursed Post Fool Skit

1. I have one of my classes canceled today. 

2. I can’t breathe well at all (through my nose). 

3. My body.. uhh hhhhhh.. feels weird. 

4. I hate myself for coming up with this skit idea in bed last night while I was writing the previous post. 

5. I’ll rate this skit.. RR. R rated. 

6. I might be kidding. 

7. I hate myself. I’m going to hate myself even more tomorrow at this time. *checks the time* Oh, it’s 5:22 pm in Cutepups time. 

8. Explicit language/content ahead. I.. guess? 

9. Haha, I have so many thoughts about my story ideas that outright disturb me and make me very uncomfortable. So that’s great (/sarcasm). 

10. April Fool’s Day. Fools, fools, fools. We’re all fools. I’m a fool. He’s a fool. @ Duke: what the actual fu—

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Oh and.. 

No. This cursed thing isn’t going to legitimately be related to any future multi-part skit story. 

It’s too.. too *insert adjective here* (which adjective? idk).

Read at your own risk. I’m deeply sorry in advance. 

———————————————

[Date: April 1st. Time: Afternoon, I assume? Location: Vast, open field of bright green grass. Yes, bright green grass. It is a sunny day. Duke is lying down on his back in the middle of the field of bright green grass. It is warm out, so he’s wearing a white T-shirt and dark blue or gray jeans. Not just any pants- he’s in jeans because.. denim. Anyway, Duke is just chilling in the field minding his own business when suddenly something appears in the sky. As the mystery object gets closer, it takes the form of a roundish pink fish that is equally handsome as it is grotesque. It’s none other than Duke’s ultimate rival or nemesis, Bob the Blobfish. Then the blobfish crashes into the ground. Duke sits up and gives Bob the Blobfish a judgmental look as the blobfish brushes off the dirt and grass.] 

Bob the Blobfish: Hey, Duke...

Duke: *in a pretty monotonous voice* Shouldn’t you be dead? 

Bob the Blobfish: *gasps but it seems so Fake TM* What? No...

Duke: I’m pretty sure you died three or so years ago. 

Bob the Blobfish: And I’m pretty sure I told you I’m an immortal being that cannot be killed. 

Duke: *stops speaking in a monotonous voice* Wait, you were serious? 

Bob the Blobfish: Yes. I am always serious. 

Duke: Sure thing, buddy. *gets up and walks away and then shouts out into the field* Bob the Blobfish is back! Please believe me this time, Twinkle! 

Bob the Blobfish: *stays still but screams* Duke! Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke! Duke! 

Duke: *sighs and walks back* What is it? What do you want from me, you ugly pink jellyfish?

Bob the Blobfish: I’m a blobfish, you fool! Get it right! 

Duke: Hmm yeah.. no thanks. 

Bob the Blobfish: *screams again* What the heck does that even mean? 

Duke: Why am I wasting my time with you? 

Bob the Blobfish: You could be making this whole scenario up again. It’s very likely, in fact. 

Duke: Fucking damn it. 

Bob the Blobfish: Watch your language, kid! 

Duke: I’m supposedly at least 19 years old now, so don’t tell me what to do. 

Bob the Blobfish: I’m an immortal being, but go off I guess. 

Duke: Shut up, ugly. 

Bob the Blobfish: You’re pretty ugly yourself. 

Duke: Yeah, I know. Now will you please fuck off? 

Bob the Blobfish: Yeah hmm.. no thanks. 

Duke: *rolls eyes* 

Bob the Blobfish: Duke is such a weird name. It’s like.. Duke. It sounds so weird. 

Duke: Wow, thanks. 

Bob the Blobfish: Wow, really? You mean it?

Duke: *sighs* No. 

Bob the Blobfish: Oh okay, fine, be like that. I’ll just... 

[Bob the Blobfish takes out something which plays an audio recording. The audio recording is a few seconds long of Duke badly singing the following: “So why am I alive? Is there a reason for me? What else can be found? What is Cutepups singing?”]

Bob the Blobfish: What are you singing here? 

Duke: *shakes head* Fucking hell. I don’t know what the fuck that is. 

Bob the Blobfish: Hmm.. it sounds emo. 

Duke: *just blinks at Bob the Blobfish* 

Bob the Blobfish: Oh, you’re wearing a white shirt and dark-colored jeans. 

Duke: *says sarcastically* Glad to know you have eyes. 

Bob the Blobfish: You don’t wear all black anymore? Have you become less emo? 

Duke: Can you just.. *sighs* stop talking? 

Bob the Blobfish: *ignores Duke’s request and says* Oh, I forgot to say. My apologies. 

Duke: *sighs again and then just stares at the blobfish with a frown on his face* 

Bob the Blobfish: Hey, Duke, remember that time when...

Duke: *cuts him off* No. 

Bob the Blobfish: I didn’t finish my sentence. 

Duke: You don’t have to. I already know what you were planning on saying. And my answer to you is- N.O. no. 

Bob the Blobfish: Okay. What was I going to ask you? 

Duke: You were going to bring up something inappropriate. Something sexual in nature, I believe. 

Bob the Blobfish: *is a little taken aback by what Duke said* What are you talking about? Are you joking?

Duke: *face looks serious, frowns* Does it look like I’m joking? 

Bob the Blobfish: Uh...

Duke: That’s because I’m not. I can be very serious too, you know. 

Bob the Blobfish: That.. that doesn’t have to do with anything. 

[Bob the Blobfish puts the object playing the audio recording away.] 

Duke: Okay fine. What did you want to ask me? 

Bob the Blobfish: *smiles* Oh good. 

Duke: *sighs* I regret asking. 

Bob the Blobfish: Remember that time you worked in a coffee shop?

Duke: That was a fucked up dream I had and nothing more. 

Bob the Blobfish: And how you were completely naked except for the shoes you were wearing and a small paper hat on your head? Wait a sec.. were you also wearing socks? 

Duke: Why are you asking me that of all things? It was a weird dream.

Bob the Blobfish: Was it? Are you sure about that?

Duke: Yes! It didn’t really happen. Go bother somebody else for once. 

Bob the Blobfish: *completely ignores Duke* And how you were grinding—

Duke: Coffee beans! Yes, I did that! 

Bob the Blobfish: I was actually going to say your—

Duke: That’s very funny, Bobby. Now, ahem, will you please.. *yells* shut the fuck up! *orange flames suddenly cover his hands* I swear, I might as well set you on fire, you piece of shit. *smirks as the flames travel down his arms* It shouldn’t even hurt. 

Bob the Blobfish: Oh, I sure did miss seeing you light yourself on fire. You and the squad of mutated and discarded kids.. it’s so cute. 

Duke: I could sucker punch you right now. 

Bob the Blobfish: Sure thing, kiddo. Now I’m going to continue my story. 

Duke: *ends up not punching Bob the Blobfish for some mysterious reason* 

Bob the Blobfish: I recall that you wanted your friends, who played the role as your coworkers, to touch your dick. Why were you being sexual in a professional setting? 

Duke: It was a fucking dream, you shitty fish! And it wasn’t sexual. Oh and I guess it technically was that, but come on, it was in a crappy coffee shop. 

Bob the Blobfish: That in and of itself is something sexual but okay. Then why you dream it? 

Duke: I can’t control my dreams. 

Bob the Blobfish: Was it because you were horny? 

Duke: No! Fuck off, you creepy blob with the invasive questions! 

Bob the Blobfish: Do you have any desires? 

Duke: Yes, I would like you to never speak to me again. 

Bob the Blobfish: I was referring to something regarding your body. 

Duke: What about it? 

Bob the Blobfish: Do you want to give in and take off your human cover? 

Duke: My.. what?

Bob the Blobfish: Do you ever desire to live while living in your true form? Your, dare I say, demon-like body? 

Duke: Uh.. no. 

Bob the Blobfish: Why not? Your true form is fascinating. Utterly terrifying, yes, but oh so fascinating. 

Duke: Your questions today are more messed up than usual. That’s saying something. 

Bob the Blobfish: Just give in, Duke. Reveal your true form to the world again. 

Duke: No thanks, I’m good.

Bob the Blobfish: Ugh, stop being so stubborn! 

Duke: There’s no reason for me to get rid of my humanity again. I dislike you quite a lot, but I actually don’t loathe you with my entire being. You really don’t deserve to face my true form. 

Bob the Blobfish: Aha! So you accept the fact that you have one. 

Duke: I never denied that fact. 

Bob the Blobfish: Then show me it! 

Duke: What the hell is wrong with you? I just told you I’m not going to show you it. I won’t show anyone it. 

Bob the Blobfish: *is getting angry* Give in already, Duke! Your arms are already covered in fire—

Duke: This fire is orange. My true form only works on black fire. 

Bob the Blobfish: Then use black fire! 

Duke: Nah. 

Bob the Blobfish: Ugh! *mutters something under his breath and then blurts out* In addition to wanting people to touch you down there, you also decided to grind your dick against objects used to make coffee. I wonder why that was in your thoughts? 

Duke: *the flames wrap around his upper body* I get lots of thoughts that are fucked up. I had a shitty upbringing—

Bob the Blobfish: Why would you have something like that in your dreams, considering how many times your body was violated? Did you just not give a damn anymore, so you decided it was fine for you to fuck coffee kettles? 

Duke: Excuse me, but what the fuck did I just hear? 

Bob the Blobfish: I know you fu—

Duke: Don’t repeat your words, dumbass! 

Bob the Blobfish: Is it because you just can’t take care of yourself on your own? You can’t hold down a job. 

Duke: Because I had a dream where I fucked an object? *speaks sarcastically (adding just in case)* Ha, ha.. okay. 

Bob the Blobfish: Yes! Give in to the cynicism and rage! 

Duke: Wait. Hold the fuck up. Are you seriously trying to make me upset on purpose? 

Bob the Blobfish: Yes, I want to see your true form. 

Duke: I’m not showing you it! How many times do I have to repeat myself? 

Bob the Blobfish: You hate me! You must hate me by now! 

Duke: You’re right. I do hate you. *takes a deep breath* But I won’t reveal my true form. I’m content with being a human. 

Bob the Blobfish: Just for a few seconds! 

Duke: A few seconds is far too long. *sighs* Do you know anything about the true D.U.K.E. form? No, you don’t. 

Bob the Blobfish: *frowns* Fine. Tell me more about it. 

Duke: That form is kind of like a demon, yes, but I don’t think I can even describe how disturbing it is. It’s.. it’s being devoid of any human rational behavior. Deterrence is thrown out the window. You don’t care about the consequences your actions will result in. You.. don’t.. give.. a.. flying.. shit. Mercy is eliminated. You just don’t care. You can do anything! You can’t even begin to comprehend why you suddenly feel like destroying other people’s bodies and tearing out flesh with your teeth. *pauses to catch his breath* I was pretty damn close to becoming a cannibal. Fuck.. I was a total sadist. I destroyed his body. I was unstoppable. And you.. you want me to show you that side of me? The same side that repeatedly cut a person’s body and attempted to tear out their flesh with my teeth to the bone? Are you sure you want to see that? I’m not even 5% of the amount mad enough for me to enter that state. Are you fucking kidding me? 

[Suddenly, Bob the Blobfish disappears. The setting changes to a room with lots of what looks like medical equipment, one measuring heart rate. The heart rate on the monitor speeds up concerningly fast. Someone talks over a loudspeaker.] 

Loudspeaker person: That’s enough. 

Duke: *is now alone in the field, wraps his arms around his knees, sweats and breathes heavily* 

Person: *enters the room Duke is in* It’s over now. Come with me, kid. 

Duke: *screams at the person while his body is trembling* I’m not doing that for you! I’m not doing it! I’m not showing you that side of me! 

Person: Huh? Was there someone in the room with you? 

Duke: Yeah, his name is Bob the Blobfish! 

Person: Bob the.. what? Blobfish? 

Duke: *stands up* Yes! Bob the Blobfish! 

Person: Is that an imaginary friend of yours? 

Duke: He’s not my friend! 

Person: So he’s just someone you made up. Is that who you talk to when you’re alone?

Duke: No! This is the first time I heard from him in a few years. 

Person: *scratches chin* Hmm...

Duke: You don’t believe me! I’m not lying! 

Person: *touches Duke’s shoulder* Come with me—

Duke: *immediately pulls away* Don’t. I’m not in the mood to be touched at all right now. 

Person: Oh shoot, it’s April Fool’s Day! I fooled you! 

Duke: What the fuck is wrong with you people? You didn’t prank me. And before you ask, I’m not making shit up either. 

[Several minutes later. They left the field. Duke is kind of in a daze as he walks past people in lab coats discussing his heart rate while he was in the field. Once he’s at the opposite end of the hallway, he sees Ryen waiting for him.]

Ryen: So how was it?

Duke: It was great until Bob the Blobfish showed up. 

Ryen: Oh? 

Duke: He kept on asking me graphic questions about... *his fingers tremble* 

Ryen: Yeah? 

Duke: The person I turned into when I attacked Taurel. You know.. all that fucked up, disturbing as hell, shit. 

Ryen: Oh.. oh, I’m sorry to hear that happened. 

Duke: That’s not all. Before that, he kept on bringing up that weird as hell dream I had around two years back when I was acting inappropriately in a coffee shop I worked at. You know the one. 

Ryen: Oh god, that dream? The one where you were naked and implied that you fuck—

Duke: *laughs* Yeah, that one. And thanks to Bobby Blobfish, I was reminded that I did do that in the dream. 

Ryen: You’re.. quite something.

Duke: Thanks. 

Ryen: Out of anything you could have been thinking and having a conversation about, it was about that.

Duke: Yeah, Bobby is very strange. 

Ryen: *frowns* You know Bob the Blobfish isn’t a real, physical person. Right, Duke? 

Duke: Yeah, of course. He’s from a spiritual realm, obviously. That’s how he’s immortal. 

Ryen: *sighs* Duke... 

Duke: Relax, man. This Help place is actually helping me out a lot. Today’s activity was a bit extreme, but—

Ryen: *cuts him off* You nearly had a panic attack in there. 

Duke: No shit. 

Ryen: Look... 

Duke: What? I’m doing just fine. *rubs his eyes and looks up at the ceiling* Just.. go rip out the thorns from my dick. Do something productive. 

Ryen: *looks disgusted* Why are you talking about that?

Duke: Because it’s fucking funny. 

Ryen: No, it isn’t? 

Duke: I’m pretty sure it is. 

Ryen: Ugh, I’m tired. Let’s just go home. 

Duke: *snaps* Fine! Let’s just head the fuck home! 

Ryen: Do you have to say the f-word every other sentence? 

Duke: Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do! 

Ryen: It’s been quite a few months. Are you seriously not making any process at therapy? 

Duke: I get thoughts I hate. I don’t know why, and I sure as hell can’t control them. I don’t know why I can’t get that shitty dream out of my head. 

Ryen: That’s one reason why you’re in therapy with Fierdan. It’s to help you guys get rid of the distressing thoughts you get as a result of your pasts. 

Duke: I feel so disgusted. Why can’t I just live? I hate being reminded of all.. of all these.. bad things I did and went through. 

Ryen: You’re not disgusting. 

Duke: My body and mind are filthy. I’m not clean. 

Ryen: Just because you did those actions in a dream doesn’t mean you’re a sex hungry beast. 

Duke: What the hell are you trying to say? 

Ryen: You’re not dirty. There’s nothing wrong with you for having that dream. 

Duke: Of course not. It was funny, first of all. *sighs* I just hated how he brought it up so suddenly. 

Ryen: Oh hmm...

Duke: What now?

Ryen: Nothing. 

Duke: What?

Ryen: It’s just that. This ended unexpectedly. 

Duke: Huh?

[This skit has been marked as RR for Rat Rated. Duke and Bob the Blobfish have violated The Code for taking about such-and-such content. The coffee kettle demands for Duke and Bob the Blobfish to not bring the dream up ever again. They have to pay approximately 6,600 coffee beans by the end of the day. If not, they will be sued by me. Why? Just because. I can. The rats will come. They will judge them. And me. You too. Prepare. They are coming soon.] 

why am i thinking of this atrocity again

why did i write this? i’m going to die because of it. duke ruined everything. f u duke. why tf did you tell everyone about your weird dream with your inappropriate behavior? find jesus, you heathen. i’m not even christian lmao but like.. this skit and the one in this post are so wrong. sorry to anyone who saw this post. i had this idea pop in my head at 2 am and i couldn’t stop thinking about it. my grades are falling, i’m a big dumb dumb, and i hate myself. lol!

mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo mango bongo drink water!!!!!!!!!!!!

music! how cool!! jam on, jammers!!!

football football football football football football football football football the very best sports article you will ever read, guaranteed!

🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀

they have come.

hey, just a quick and random reminder that i have this page on my blog that links to a lot of stuff. i know that some things i write on here are disturbing and weird and uncomfortable and everything is worded terribly. i hate myself for my story ideas because they’re.. big yikes to say the least. but i really don’t want to end up accidentally hurting any of you lovely people. if anyone is in distress or whatever, please use these sites! life sucks, yeah, but these can help somewhat. please don’t hurt yourself, don’t be like my characters/story writing. you’re beautiful, you’re gorgeous, you matter. the things my characters go through make me feel haunted (?) sometimes. i know my writing isn’t for everyone. uh.. yeah. stay safe.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

i'm on my computer

I know. Shocking.

I changed my profile pic. I don't like looking at my art that much. I'm annoyed every time I look at my art. I hate it and always see flaws.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I even want to bother posting the drawings I've been working on.

I don't know. I'm not that satisfied with anything much anymore.

So. New profile pic.

From a vocaloid song called Lost One's Weeping.

Basically a song about the stress that comes with being in school. School is stressful. I had (and still have to tbh) so many essays to do. In the past week I had to do 4 essays. Lot of papers. Oh and the song also reminds me of having a existential crisis/existential despair. Something like that. I get those often too. Haha how fun.

I had another bad dream about school. It was pretty weird. At one point, my class had to lie down on the floor face down. In the dark. It was for a history test. Yeah, weird. I recently had a history test though. Um.. what.

Cool, the music playlist is working on the blog. Last time I went on my blog on my computer, the playlist wouldn't load. I'm glad it's working again. 

Anyway, I went on that good old AJ game. I forgot I took the black glove and replaced it with a wristband on Precious. The front page and loading screens are different now. 

I didn't take pictures of the loading screens, but for the front page I did.

All them animals are happy and joyful. 

Then this little pink sloth stalker creep suddenly shows up from out of that Membership sign.

Sloths are so creepy smh.

I took those 2 pictures after I logged out tbh.

So then I went on AJ. And I saw these chat bubbles. What a nice conversation. Amazing.

Simply amazing. Oh and Precious, stop eavesdropping on people's conversations. They're discussing burned pizza rolls not marshmallows. 

Oh, you don't know who Precious is? My, oh my, how could you not? Here, this is the ultimate swag picture of Precious I have. It is of top most quality.

I named it "precious graphic swag".. omg who was I in 2014. Or 2015. I honestly don't remember when I made this.

I actually realized I didn't start being very sad and ehhhh in December. I actually was already sad and ehhhh last October. 

I only found that out because I've been checking my blog stats. Why do my personal posts with all them vent vibes from last October have a lot of views all of a sudden? Who's spying on my posts from around a year ago? I regret everything I do from the past. Heck why. 

Back to now. I designed a pet phantom. 

What a pure bean.

Only a few would get this. But. Fierdan (and Soulless) made these black goops of ink evil. Screw both of them. *cries* They suck. *uhm heck*. 

Never mind, only I get it. It's ok I'm already alone. It's fine.

Mm ok. Let's move on to another segment of Precious trying on new clothing items. 

These items are so rad. So fashionable. 

Not everyone will get this, but these eyes are pretty much how the 3 weirdo foxes in that crappy story I wrote on here way back in the day have their eyes when they're blazing. Like when fire dude nearly kills people. Or when green girl is just being a seductive creep. Or when blue fool destroys her tail armor. I think? But like. These eyes are so accurate. They also look like the eyes of an evil mouse that's sneering. Yeah totally lol.

Yeah just. Just putting a box over Precious's head. It's the newest fashion statement.

Here is another new fashion trend. It's all in now. All the kids are obsessed with it.

Become a fuzzy and friendly monster with this mask that's also totally in style nowadays. 

There's also this plaid shirt. It looks pretty good on you, Precious. Good.

... *sets self on fire for bringing up characters again* 

Wh..

I have this random picture of a cow saved on my computer. 

I was one wild blogger over a year ago.

... *sets past self on fire*

So that's all the new AJ pictures I have for now.

It's 1 am. Late blogging on the computer like back in the day again. 

. . . . . . .

I'll conclude this post with a short Cutepups Support segment. 

It's basically mental health support. Just me spreading some of them positive vibes.

:)

Check out these links. The websites are pretty cool. 

http://freerice.com/ (answer fairly easy questions and every question you get correct helps donate rice to a food charity)

http://sanger.dk/ (a dog licking your computer screen)

http://calmingmanatee.com/ (pictures of manatees with positive words)

https://www.thehopeline.com/ (an actual website with lots of things focusing on hope)

http://theanimalrescuesite.greatergood.com/clickToGive/ars/home (just click the button to donate for a lot of good reasons listed there)

It's now 2 am. 

Guess that means I better go. 

Cutepups Support: The Quiet Place Project

Hello! :)

I don't feel that bad today. So that's good I guess. ^-^'

Well, enough about me. This is supposedly a Cutepups Support (lame name ikr) post. So, without further ado, the website!

http://thequietplaceproject.com

Unfortunately, I can only blog on mobile for the time being. So that means I can't screenshot things and whatnot.

Okay, one more thing about me and off to info about this site. Alrighty.

This place (the website I mean) was one of the first self-care sites I've ever visited. It also happens to be one of my favorites (though Flash is needed for some of the forwarding links within The Quiet Place Project, and my mobile devices lack that). I found it a little short of a year ago.

So.. maybe you like this site, maybe you don't. That's your decision, and of course no one but you, yourself, can change it.

Blah.. okay!

I'll say this site is great to visit when you're.. when you're.. just in a bad mood. (maybe not if technology that you use to go onto the site is causing you to have a bad mood.. ahem*). But if you're stressed or nervous over something or for no reason; or if you're feeling depressed (sad, empty, restless, tired, "done", etc.).. then I recommend visiting TQPP (The Quiet Place Project).

Some links off TQPP main page, like the Dawn Room for example, bring you to a place where there's a calming background (most likely weather-related I think) with accompanying music. And all you really have to do is read the messages on the screen and tap continue to read more of them. The messages are so kind and thoughtful with their good vibes.

This is the link within TQPP main page that I go to the most, and every time I felt bad to say the least and went on there, it's helped me at least in the little bit. So hopefully it will help you out. But then again, this is only a website. So it can only really be helpful to a certain degree and not for every circumstance.

The Dawn Room: http://thequietplaceproject.com/thedawnroom/

The Dawn Room doesn't work on mobile, so hopefully the link here will work to those on their computers who can actually access it.

So apart from that, TQPP also has this section for anonymous venting. There's this box, and in it you can type whatever. Vent out all that big mess of feelings you have.

Oh wait.. I'll just link to all of them. Except for the Dawn Room which I just linked to. There's also this mind-relaxing "tap to continue" thing on the site I first linked to which I keep on referring to as TQPP main page on this post.

The Thoughts Room: http://thequietplaceproject.com/thethoughtsroom/

The Comfort Spot: http://thequietplaceproject.com/thedreamsroom/comfortspot

It Will Be Okay: http://thequietplaceproject.com/itwillbeokay

The Quiet Place is more of the place to "quiet your mind", the Dawn Room is more of a place to feel less alone, the Thoughts Room is more of a place to relieve yourself from those bad thoughts, the Comfort Spot is more of a place for anonymous venting, and the last one should be self-explanatory.

I'm hoping all the links are working properly. My apologies if they aren't. You can just find the "rooms" by yourself if that happens to be the case.

That's all I have for this post. I hope I helped at least person who read through this entire post.. even though my phrasing of words is horrible.

Take care.

~ Cutepups <3

Cutepups Support: Look at the Stars

Hello. Cutepups here with the first love/support/care/advise post. So to start this segment, I made a (pretty lousy) poem.

But first, here's a song I was listening to while writing the poem. I got inspired by this song, actually. I love it. <3

"Missing You"~ All Time Low

Listen to this song as you read the poem. If you can, I mean. The lyrics have a swear word in them once.

Alright, alright. My poem!

~*~*~*~

Look at the Stars

Hold on
I know you want to let go
I know it's tough
When all the forces are against you
When the strongest winds are out
And they try to blow you away
Hold on
And never let go

Hold on
I know it's dark
Outside, inside
In your head
I know it's hard
When you feel like your light died
The dark is scary
But please remember
You are more than the darkness

The dark winds only want to
Bring you down
Make you feel hopeless
And everything bad
They are not you
You are not the dark
You are the light
And you always will be

Hold on
Don't let the dark
Swallow up your soul
Face the tiny lights above
Even in the darkest places
Even in the darkest times
There will always be those little rebellious lights
They might be far, far away
From you and I

But even then
Look up at the sky
Look at the lights still shining brightly
Look how they still shine 
Even when everything around them is dark
Look at the stars

You are a star
Hold on
Stand your ground
Be strong
Continue living
You're worth it
Defy the dark
Don't let it consume you
Don't stop shining
Stay alive
Stay bright
Remember that you have a choice
To let the dark overcome you
Like how clouds disappear in the night
Or you could
Still shine in the dark
Not allow the dark to overcome you
Like a star
Hold on tight
Don't change yourself
You are a star

Every storm passes
Be there to see it
I know the winds are strong now
I know it's difficult to find the strength to hold on
But I know you can do it
Keep on fighting
Don't give in
To the dark
Don't lose your fight
To the dark
Because I know that one day
You will defeat the dark
Be there to see it

You might not know me
I might not know you
You might feel lost and confused
In this great big world
You might feel alone
I know how that feels
How much it hurts
But please take me seriously
You are never truly alone
I'll be there for you
If you have no one else to turn to
The stars will always be there for you
And if you let the dark become you
And if you let go
We'll be missing you

Breathe
Look at the stars
And make a wish
Never stop looking
Never stop wishing
Just breathe
And remember to 
Always hold on
Be strong
Stand your ground
And always remember to
Look up at the dark night sky
And to look at the stars.

And if you don't have access to looking at stars in the night sky right now, go to the bottom of my blog. There you can find a large plain area of nothing but the background. And that's where just a few of the stars are. And they're all shining for you. Make a wish, the number of stars is infinite.

Goodbye for now. 

I do not own the song nor the 3 starry pictures. Stay star-gazing, lovelies. :)