Hi. It’s January 2023.
idk what this is either (january 2023 version)
It’s now been a whole year since Mr. Zo died. Can’t believe it. (He was my grumpy boy cat.)
Blogger signed me out when I try to comment on my blog. And other Blogger blogs. Again. Gotta check the settings. Again. *sigh* :/
I have no idea how I’m feeling physically and mentally right now. Not good?? Neutral?? idk!!
I’m at that weird state where I haven’t obsessed over my characters in months, but I still add songs to their Spotify playlists since songs still remind me of them. Also, lots of times when I’m trying to fall asleep, I randomly get thoughts of them. And I feel like an intruder spying on them. Yeah, I just.. I don’t even know.
I also still design them on various Picrews. I even have a Picrew from the middle of last year where I created avatars of many of my characters. I keep forgetting to show it here. I’m forgetful and busy, haha.
Special interest weird zone these days. I feel so weird…
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[Setting: Bar but it’s nearly empty. A few people are sitting on stools at the bar. I don’t know how to describe things anymore. I feel blank—]
Fierdan: *wraps his hand tighter around his nearly empty beer glass* I don’t know. Is it irrational of me to fear being forgotten?
Jack: Well, I—
Fierdan: *cuts Jack off (smh), stares at the last drop of beer in his glass* But at the same time, I’m too tired to care. I have no more energy left to care.
Jack: We’ll all be forgotten some day, but being afraid of it… I wouldn’t call it irrational. *sighs* I’ve been feeling tired lately as well. Apathetic. *takes a long sip of beer from his glass*
Female voice from the entrance to the bar: Stop projecting onto your characters, Shan—
Jack: *turns to face that direction* Oh. Hey, Dawn.
Dawn: *walks over to them* Hey.
Finny: Did she just break the fourth wall? Also, who’s Shan—
Me: *randomly appears sitting on another stool* I did not expect myself to be here, but okay. Where’s the bartender?
Ryen: There is no bartender. This is a liminal space you created for us— and for you— to exist in.
Me: Ryen? What are you doing here? This is a bar!
Ryen: Liminal space.
Me: What?
Stella: *points to Fierdan* You have abandonment issues.
Me: Wow, so blunt.
Fierdan: Yeah, I know. *finally drinks the last drop of beer in his glass*
Me: Wow, such a chill response.
Finny: Sorry, but who are you again?
Stella: You can’t just say that, Finny.
Finny: Huh, why?
Stella: You just can’t. It’s common courtesy.
Me: *is at a total loss for words*
Fierdan: Well, it has been a while since we, you know, talked. Things changed. Like, I’m more chill now.
Stella: *scoffs (is that the right word?)* More chill. Ha!
Jack: *rolls eyes* You have to admit it. All of us are not as emotionally charged as we used to be. We’re less of a collective wreck than we used to be.
Dawn: Yeah, that’s true. There hasn’t been drama in a while.
All: *nod in agreement*
Me: *stares at everyone blankly*
Finny: *points to me* Is this Shan person okay?
Me: You can just talk to me.
Finny: *gasps, stares at the ceiling*
Me: Uh… okay.
Fierdan: I’m just so tired.
Dawn: Shan, go to bed already.
Fierdan: Like, where’s the passion? The motivation? Who am I without—
Jack: You’re my boyfriend, and I love you.
Me: *gasps* Romance! In this liminal space?
Stella: I know right. Anyway, go to bed. Listen to Mother Dawn.
Me: *looks even more confused* Mother—
Dawn: Want me to make you my famous tea I forgot the flavor of?
Me: Uh—
Dawn: Well, too bad. I can’t even do that now.
Me: What? Why?
Ryen: Liminal space.
Fierdan: *stares blankly at Dawn, Stella, and me* I was going to say vengeance.
Random Girl: You were going to say “anger” actually.
Me: Who was that? Where’d she go?
Fierdan: *startles* I didn’t know you were joining us, [redacted]! *sighs* I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.
Me: To what?
Redacted: Just appearing. Saying anything really.
Me: Uh… okay. So what’s your name?
Other Random Girl: You haven’t named us yet, so you’ll only hear our names as [redacted].
Me: Wait, what—
Random Girl: You’re not that good at deciding on names, Shan.
Other Random Girl: *nods* Yeah, Shan really isn’t good at choosing names.
Me: *looks to one and then the other* Wow, you two— Are you—
Jack: Twins? Yes.
Other Random Girl: *rolls eyes and sighs* Yeah, me and [redacted] are twins.
Me: Ah, I see. Okay.
Jack: *is suddenly behind the two girls, wraps his arms around their backs like an awkward group hug or something* They’re members of the cool kids group. *clears throat* I mean they also have psych-manipulation as powers.
Random Girl: I don’t feel comfortable with all this attention on me.
Jack: *takes large step away* Oh, right. I can’t believe I keep forgetting.
Random Girl: It’s only natural. You’re just trying to introduce me to Shan.
Me: Uh… *raises hand and waves* Hi.
Random Girl and Other Random Girl: Hello.
Ryen: *blinks slowly* Yeah, they tend to do that.
Finny: *still staring at the ceiling* Yep.
Fierdan: Well, it’s refreshing to not be the only one—
Stella: You make no sense.
Fierdan: Yeah, I know. Being so hypervigilant and yet the twins startle me every time they appear.
Stella: Yeah, you should work on that.
Other Random Girl: Well, with our— [redacted] and my— powers, it’s not that weird. We’re pretty much spies, so…
Me: Wait. Spies?
Finny: Yeah. So crazy.
Me: *nods, doesn’t know what else to say*
Fierdan: Does this mean I’m not forgotten? That none of us are? At least not yet?
Ryen: Ah great, I’ve turned you into another philosopher!
Me: I can’t tell if that was sarcastic or not.
Ryen: Neither could I.
Me: Uh… okay then. So, uh, you and Fierdan? You get along now?
Ryen: Well, kind of. Things got better.
Fierdan: We don’t want to kill each other, so I’d call that a major improvement.
Ryen: Yeah. We’re not at each other’s throats anymore.
Me: *suddenly has tears in my eyes* That’s beautiful. Like, actually… wow.
Ryen: Uh… yeah, sure.
Fierdan: I mean, we both do find philosophy interesting. Because, you know… *gestures vaguely*
Me: What?
Fierdan: I’m tired and don’t have energy. Words are hard right now.
Random Girl: Projecting. You’re projecting, Shan.
Me: *sighs* Okay, okay. I’ll go to bed.
Dawn: Even I knew you were projecting.
Me: Okay, okay. Geez…
Jack: *whispers to Fierdan* Are you really tired, or—
Fierdan: *steps away to talk to Jack privately* Tired. I have no drive. Not tonight.
Random Girl: *snickers*
Fierdan: Well, I’m glad I still exist. I don’t know my personality right now, but I know for sure we all still exist. Shan hasn’t forgotten us, so that’s worth celebrating. *remembers [redacted], turns to face her* Can you stop that?
Random Girl: It’s hard to turn my brain feature off. I can’t exactly drink either because… well, you know why.
Fierdan: *sighs* Fine.
Jack: *grabs Fierdan’s wrist* Come on, let’s head to my place.
Fierdan: *nods, follows Jack out of the liminal space bar*
Dawn: Are we gonna go? I forgot why we all decided to stay here.
Stella: *rolls eyes* Main character Fierdan syndrome.
Dawn: No, I legit forgot. *gestures vaguely*
Stella: Oh, shoot, sorry.
Me: What just happened?
Dawn: I don’t know, but I think we should all go to sleep. Good night.
Me: Fine, I’ll go to bed now.
Stella: Finally!
Me: Why are you so rude, Stella?
Stella: *shrugs* You made me turn out this way.
Dawn: Stop it. *yawns* This isn’t the time.
Stella: Okay, fair. *looks at Finny* Are you okay, dude?
Finny: *rubs eyes* Yeah, why?
Stella: Well, you were staring at the ceiling for a while.
Finny: Oh, right. No, I’m fine. I’m gonna head back to my place.
Stella: Oh, alright. Good night, Finn.
Finny: Good night. *leaves*
Me: *yawns* Good night, characters who changed while I was gone.
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mind: blank
