Some Random Pics: Picrew, Cats, and More!

idk what to title my posts anymore—

Hi again. It's been yet another week. 

I feel dead or that I'm being killed, but I... that's just a sad excuse of a metaphor. 

College... ugh. So much work. So much stress. And I'm falling behind in most of my classes. 

Yeah haha, I'm totally thriving! /*sweats sarcasm*

idk what to say here anymore—

Ahem, ahem. Have some random pics, I guess.

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Link 1: https://picrew.me/image_maker/684058

It's supposed to be me with short hair and space makeup (the stars and moons look cute).

Jack looking cheerful. The lines under his eyes are the closest thing I could find to his small "x" tattoos on the lower outer corner next to his eyes. And yes, he is blushing. uwu

Fierdan... wait, he actually looks pretty normal? wow. Black and red suit him well. What do you think? Yeah uh, he's just there. 

Ryen is also just standing there. Sometimes I imagine him wearing an oversized white or beige coat. That blue-gray shirt also reminds me of him for some reason. The color does, I mean. He looks less annoyed in this Picrew. Good for him.

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(moon barrier- ha!)

Link 2: https://picrew.me/image_maker/140200

I designed Dylan and Jack here. Dylan is a bitter, short-tempered boy. He has no time for bs. Here, he's annoyed with Jack. That height difference though. It's more exaggerated in this Picrew, I'll admit. And look, the background is water. Heh, heh... nice.

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Link 3: https://picrew.me/image_maker/603740

First of all, this Picrew is adorable! I love it. I designed myself wearing a cat hat and a clown outfit while holding a frog toy and thinking of frogs. cats + frogs + clowns = what's on my mind. hehe :3

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Link 4: https://picrew.me/image_maker/598865

I also really like the style of this Picrew. It's cute and funny. I like the clueless and lost vibes in some of the Picrews. It kinda reminds me of the meme where the anime boy doesn't know what a butterfly is. The blank look in the eyes staring at nothing, the smile, the hand position. Haha yes. Where am I? Well, I guess I'm in the sky. There are both clouds and glowing stars. Hmm, that's interesting. 

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That's enough with Picrew for now. 

So now it's cat time! ;D

Ok so last Monday, I found this cats spot on my college campus. And me, being a cat lover, was thrilled to see all the cats. They're small cats and some are tuxedo cats, so they remind me of Thelma (my tuxedo cat). 

Seeing cats gives me serotonin that I desperately need. Haha... oof.

Here are some of the cat pics I took over the past week. I visited the cats spot a few times. :3

Look at them relaxing in the sun. The weather has been warm and sunny lately. Not now though. It's currently windy and raining. 

There's a gazebo with a few benches as well as a small pond and little stream in this place. It's so peaceful. It's such a nice spot. Then add cats and it's even better. I love it.

These tuxedo cats were relaxing on the bench opposite of where I was sitting. They remind me of my Thelma. They're so cute. :')

<3 <3

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Now it's time for the ??? Miscellaneous part of the post. >;)

With pictures of course. Will there be context? Eh, who knows? 

Ok, let's get on with it. 

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Screenshots from a story on Episode called "The Darkness Within" which I played in November. 

I kept forgetting to put them in a post, so I'm doing that now. Sure.

Danielle = female Fierdan (Daniel). 

These screenshots remind me of when Fierdan (going by Danny at the time) starts to become vulnerable with Jack and confides in him. The start of their close friendship which eventually becomes their romantic and sexual relationship as well later on. But they stay as good friends for a long while before all that. 

Fierdan has lots of nightmares and flashbacks as a result of his PTSD (his own trauma and Duke's). So he doesn't like sleeping alone. 

So then Jack lets Fierdan hang out at night in his room. And that's what they do: hang out. Sometimes they watch movies. It's pretty cute. Then Fierdan starts staying the night there, so he won't sleep alone. He has someone by his side. It supposedly helps with his nightmares and abandonment issues. *shrugs*

By the way, "Jack" is another one of his "J" nicknames. He really likes using Jack because of its connotations (jack of all trades, the jack cards in a deck of cards). He's kind of like a Joker. A fool, a jester... and he has the ability to be evil like the Joker villain. Hehe, he has a dark side. 

ja boi !!

The screenshots:

My heart... ;~;

Don't mind me imagining ja boi with purple contacts and purple hair. I can totally picture him appearing like that at some point. 

Jack is also very twisted. Fierdan isn't the only one who's twisted and sinister. Jack also did some pretty screwed up stuff. He ain't a saint.

~ all the hair dye, tattoos, and piercings to separate himself from his past. moving on from his old self. ja boi, you're having an identity crisis. i know you are. ~

What else..?

I miss writing skits. I haven't made one in ages. 

I don't know where to begin. How to start again.

I miss seeing my characters interact with each other. They all seem stagnant without any new skits. What are they up to? I don't know.

To me, they're alive. They live in my mind. They have their own thoughts and lives. 

Hahahahahaha fuu—

I still add songs to their Spotify playlists. Because... music... yes. Music, my beloved. (the meme- yes).

Ok, I'm too tired to continue this post. I'll end it here.

Bye, bye. 

~ Shan / Cutepups 

Street Style Fashion :)

Wow, I totally forgot about this place again. I haven't checked here in weeks. 

Oops lmao.

I thought I would somehow get inspiration to write poetry after my last post. And, well, that didn't work out. I'm still frustrated that I can't write a decent poem. 

I still got that writer's block. So sad... :-(

So have this Picrew. Fashionable... ;)

Link: https://picrew.me/image_maker/430409

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Jack. Yeah, I think he would totally wear this outfit. That shirt, that jacket, those pants. Hell yeah. 😎 And that hair. Stop smoking though. *smh*

-x-x-x-

Duke. With his all-black left eye (when that happens, muahahaha). I can see him wearing this outfit. Black and red clothes remind me of Duke and Fierdan. That tongue and those fangs. Mm, demon boy~ 😈. Is he wearing a suit jacket? Possibly. Duke never really gave a damn. Uh... peace sign.

-x-x-x-

Fierdan. He looks disinterested lmao. He's annoyed. Those black gloves and black umbrella and black shoes. Someone looks classy, huh. The shirt looks cute with its paw print and small cat face. He's also wearing a chain necklace because he can. 

-x-x-x-

Ryen. He's in a fancy blue striped suit. He looks classy. I think he looks good in dark blue. I also think the black gloves fit him well. Being able to manipulate darkness and shadows and all that~ heh, heh. 

-x-x-x-

Dawn. Such a queen. I think the hair is so cute. Look at those cat face hair clips. So cute. I can imagine her wearing this kind of outfit: that kind of shirt, that skirt (plus it has a plant sprout and a watering can!), those shoes, and fishnet leggings for fun. And a jacket to make it all go together. Nice. 😄

-x-x-x-

That's all I have. Don't mind the awkward spacing in this post. *sigh*

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I've been having midterms lately. I've been so tired and stressed lately. 😪

I'm still figuring out the mess which is my mental health and treating it properly/effectively. I started counseling/therapy at my college a few weeks back. Eh...

I mean, it's something. 

Medications have been a rollercoaster. Too low of a dose. Too high of a dose. Those damn side effects. It's not fun. It's been painful. 

Is it stress or side effects or both? Probably just stress at this point.

Are my current meds actually helping me? I really don't know. 

I still experience lots of anxiety and have been trying to avoid falling into a depressive episode for the past week or two. I'm trying. It's hard. 

Sometimes I wish I didn't have any mental health issues. That would be nice, huh. 😔

What else? Uh.........

It's spring now! Or autumn to those in the southern hemisphere. The change of the seasons. Time passing by. 

heck,,

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I'm not dead. Not yet. 

another week has passed

Hello. Looks like another week has happened. 

The concept of time... yikes. 

Ayyo, I don’t have classes today. Nice. 

I don’t have much to say. I can’t believe it’s been a week since my last post. Like, what do you mean it’s been a week already? That’s crazy. 

I was thinking about how I didn’t write a new poem in what seems like forever. I struggle with it now. I tried writing poetry a few hours ago, but I.. I don’t know.. I couldn’t do it. 

So sad. </3 

I got that Writer’s Block. 

I also miss writing posts about my characters. More than just Picrew posts. 

Dang. Where did my creative writing ability go? When will it return from the war? 

I don’t know. I don’t know. 

I still get side effects. 

... never mind ...

No promises. 

Screw it. 

I have something. 

Maybe. Maybe not. 

Bye. ~