Hi, so on Friday my family bought a cat hotel/condo thing for our cats.
Thelma likes it so far. She can jump from the floor to the top hole in it. She’s so playful; I love her.
And I put Zo in it. I think my brother put him in it too.
The cat hotel was put in the same room as the new flooring and couches.
Now it’s time for pictures. :)
Thelma :3
Zo >:3
They’re so cute. I love these silly kitties. <3
Thelma enjoys playing with it and sleeping in it, but Zo is wary of it. He doesn’t like new things. Thelma, however, likes new things. She likes to explore the new couches. XD
And now I’m back at college. No more new pictures of my pets. Oh darn. :(
Apparently, there’s a chance it’s going to snow here on Sunday, so I went back today. My sister planned on going back on Saturday anyway, so she dropped me off.
I thought I would make more posts earlier. But then I got distracted with Life. And and and........... idk.
Well. I had a long essay due on Monday. Started working on a project on Tuesday. Went home for Thanksgiving break on Wednesday. Thanksgiving was Thursday.
And now it’s Friday. Black Friday. ...... yeet!
I’m home now. I got to see my pets again. Very good. Uh......... :3
There’s new couches and flooring in the family room. It looks very nice. I like it.
I had disturbing dreams that frightened me and made me feel weird. I know I did. But I can’t remember what happened in them now.
I’m typing this so fast. Wow.
I feel weird. My body feels weird.
[cw: depression, suicidal/suicide]
.........,,,,,,,,,,,.........,,,... I hate how my sister is starting to give off that Vibe that she Knows Better and knows Everything about how to Help people with some disabilities (something something they need occupational therapy for) and Mental Illnesses. I don’t know how to put my feelings into words. So uh..... great :}! And how my family was all in shock like “whAT?!?!” or “haha that’s a red flag, what a freak. hahaha” when something something topic about someone reaching out to my sister and something about about reaching out for help and person is suicidal. Like ~ghost noises~ “someone is suicidal! what’s that?? scary!! I feel nauseous now!” was how my family reacted to hearing my sister’s story. Like. Really. Hearing that someone is suicidal made some of my family. Nauseous. What the hell. What. The. Hell. I’m. I really don’t know. And I’m like. Right there. At least my sister didn’t tell the suicidal person “Think positive!” or “Just be happy!” or any of that bs. But idk guys. She really gave off that Vibe that she knows more about Depression than the rest of the family. And how to deal with someone who’s suicidal and knows more about what it’s like to be suicidal. Than the rest of the family. Than me. Me! I’m right there. And she thinks I know nothing. I’m stupid and oblivious. Mental health who?? I’ve never heard of That, apparently!! I’m just. I can’t. She lowkey reminds me of psych majors who think they know better than people who are mentally ill. Like. Really?! Newsflash: I have depression. I’ve had symptoms of depression for a long time now, and I know more about it than someone learning about it in a classroom a few months (if even for that long) ago. I know what it’s like to feel suicidal. I’ve been suicidal every single day for months. At a time. Stop thinking being suicidal is so taboo. I’m right there. If I wasn’t so tired and deep into a depressive episode this past summer, there was a high chance I would’ve (poorly lol) attempted suicide. I’ve been at my breaking point so many damn times already. I’m depressed. So stop thinking and talking about that stuff like it’s so taboo and no one in the family could’ve possibly ever been suicidal. The only reason I probably didn’t attempt so far was because I started going to therapy and I take medication now. That’s probably it. Because I thought about killing myself most days this summer. I’m sorry. But like. If I actually did go attempting, would my family still think of suicide and being suicidal the same way they did yesterday? I really don’t know. I don’t want to know. Stop thinking you know more about my own mental health than I do! Stop making a joke about people who are suicidal! Stop assuming no one in the immediate family knows what being suicidal is like! Stop believing I can’t ever have bad days or else I’m giving in to my depression! Stop it!!
...... I made that look illegible on purpose. Ignore me. Or read it. Whatever. I don’t care.
Hi everyone, I'm finally back with a new post! I've been busy, and I honestly forgot to check this blog (including the comments) for a while.
But I'm back now! Yay. :)
I'm still busy and stressing out. Not yay. :(
I was supposed to make this post around a month ago, but I kept on pushing it off. Enough of that. It's about time I posted this.
Yes, I made more avatars of my characters on a Picrew maker. I haven't made any new ones since. I think my Picrew obsession has finally started to die down, haha.
By the way, I chose the bloody version for designing my characters to fit with the theme.
What is the theme you ask? Well, it's "We Are The Broken" which used to be a saying I put on my blog banners. Check my Previous Blog Banners page to check them out.
Here's one of them (those editing skills though, oof-). heck,,:
.... I honestly miss editing like this, even though I think it looks pretty ridiculous now.
So yeah. Now you kinda understand what I'll be talking about. Ok, not really but eh.. good enough.
(The creator must have edited it since the last time I looked at it. Because, uh, well.. it now says, "only use in Twitter. or die" so lol guess I can't show you guys?? idk lol ok whatever.)
Well anyway, I'm gonna end this post with a bunch of videos of songs that remind me of that whole "We Are The Broken" thing I had going on.
Haha, I'm a disaster! :'D
..... and people down the hall are REALLY FREAKING LOUD. :-/
Anyway. Music. Yes.
"We Are The Broken" themed music. Ok ok ok,,, yes.
• Spanish class: For the past two classes, we watched the weirdest and most bizarre movie I’ve ever heard of and seen. It was ridiculous and full of inappropriate stuff. It also was very funny. I don’t know how to describe it. It was quite a movie. And on Tuesday, the professor left class just as it started. He didn’t come back. This class is weird, haha.
• This was like one of the only times that I don’t check my email right before class. So I rush to class. A few other classmates are there. Then a few minutes later and after class should’ve started, we check our emails and find out our professor suddenly canceled class. We were such fools. Having class canceled is a good thing though, haha.
• And I just came back to my dorm after watching the movie, Tangled, with some friends. That’s a good movie, guys. (* actually more like a half hour ago, pfft.)
That’s my day, basically.
Last weekend, I had anxiety over a mental health app. That’s the point of life where I’m at. Haha ahh.
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Before I forget again, I’ll tell you what I did a few weekends ago.
• That Sunday: Had a service event at a nearby beach. You might have heard of it. The Out of the Darkness walk. It was raining the whole time. During the walk, it started pouring. And since it was, like, at a beach, it was even colder and windier than if we were more in-land. Good cause though. Suicide prevention is important.
• That Saturday: I met my family in the city (NYC, I mean) and we saw the play, Hamilton. It was amazing.
Hi, I'm back with another assignment I submitted for my poetry writing class. (Yep, I submitted this. XD)
This is supposed to be a surrealism prose poem. Every idea I came up with was full of violence. Haha, I couldn't help myself.
I also had to read this out loud to the whole class. That was quite something.
This was written around the spookiest time of the year. I mean Halloween.
How's my attempt at writing horror/surrealism? Please tell me. I'm curious. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Red Light You are driving home after a long day of work. There are no lampposts or store lights to lighten the path, and the moon and stars are not visible. Then a red light flashes ahead of you. You slam your foot on the gas pedal as you zoom towards it. As you approach it, it takes the shape of a traffic light. When the front of your car is only a few feet away from the traffic light, you are able to observe it up close. Its red light taunts you, which only motivates you to force the gas pedal to the melting asphalt below. Your car is overheating, burning the ground below, but you do not care. You are too attracted to the red light; it mesmerizes you. On closer inspection, you realize that the shape of the red light differs from that of the yellow and green. The red light is coming from a laser pointer. You have to catch it. Without thinking it through, you run the traffic light. After you pass it, you notice that the red light follows you. A red, round spot the size of the palm of your hand lands on your car’s windshield. Still feeling desperate to catch the red light, you unbuckle your seatbelt and stretch your arms in front of you. As your fingertips touch the glass, a red glow surrounds them. As the red glow drips down your hands, it takes the form of blood. Blood is in the air; blood is on your tongue. This does not horrify you; it is something you anticipated. Less than a minute after staring at the red spot on the windshield and your red hands, everything turns dark. The red light no longer hits the windshield; it simply vanished right in front of you. However, your fingers still feel wet and sticky; your hands are warm. The next thing you remember happening is the sound of the laser which emits the red light turning on and off again. Then the red light does not return; instead, the moon turns the sky yellow. All of a sudden, you see a cat—your cat— standing on its hindlegs and holding a gigantic laser pointer in your direction. The cat drops the laser, its red light spilling onto the ground, and approaches you to pick your car up. It unlocks a car door and grabs hold of you, cradling you in its paws. As the car crashes down into the near-boiling asphalt of the street, the cat scratches your head and tells you to eat your pet rabbit you hunted and killed in the morning. Then the cat leaves, and you stand on the roof of your car. You excitedly wait for your cat to play the red light game with you again and give you your dinner. The burning metal does not hinder your appetite for bloody rabbit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope you enjoyed reading this! >:D
............. Yay, I'm able to insert images in my posts again. Just on the website, of course. I'm still feeling... pretty unhappy. I planned on posting this a little while back.
Sorry for not posting that much anymore. I’m sorry.
............... I feel so bad. Oh god.
I tried making a post with pictures in it the other day, but the images thing wouldn’t load for me.
Blogger Blogspot *sighs* :/
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Today I found out that one of my favorite dogs died a few days ago. No, not Sunshine (my dog). My cousins’ dog. I think I mentioned their dog on this blog before..? But I could be wrong. She was so sweet and playful. She’s an angel. I loved their dog so much, you guys. Yes, I’m sad that a dog that’s not even mine passed away. I’ll never be able to play with her again. Playing fetch with her was so fun. She was only 8 when she died. For comparison, Sunshine is 14. Their dog always wanted to play fetch when I visited their house. For comparison, Sunshine never played fetch. Their dog also gave lots of licks (“puppy kisses”). She was full of love. And... and. Oh god no. She’s... gone.
I forgot how many months ago, but I feel like it was also this year. One of my aunt’s cats died. I loved their cat a lot. He was very nice and soft. I loved seeing and petting him whenever I visited their house. But he passed away. I’m sad about that too.
I’ll never be able to see them again. I’ll never be able to pet them again. They’re gone. They’re... gone.
I loved them. I love my relatives’ pets. Seeing them always makes me smile.
The dog and cat I mentioned behaved more kindly to people than my own dog and cats. They were so nice.
Haha, I didn't feel bad at all after starting my new dose. :')
(heh heh,, nice!!)
My doctor told me there was a chance I would get side effects again.
But so far... I didn't. I didn't get nauseous last night after taking it this time around. I was able to fall and stay asleep (well, eventually).
I didn't feel terrible in the morning. I felt pretty good. I'm in a good mood.
Oh and I was productive today. I got everything that's due tomorrow done. And I finished my online homework that's due on Friday. I've been getting my online homework done way before they're due for a while now. Please clap for productive Cutepups. Thanks.
Hi, I promised a post before 7. It's just about 7 now.
Oof. .-.
I did some reading for a class in the afternoon. Then I went to Target. Took the school shuttle. That took a while. And now I'm doing laundry.
Wow, so exciting. /sarcasm
I bought some things to hopefully ease the nausea and insomnia that I bet I'm gonna get again. I've been delaying starting the new dose, and I finally am not doing much this weekend. So I guess I have a chance to start it now. Welp. Hope it doesn't kill me. :I
And I got staples. Like, you know, what you use for a stapler. I don't know how to put the staplers in. I'm a dumb-dumb. I tried using tutorials, but they didn't really.. work when I tried them.
Will I make an exciting post later?
I don't know.
I'm ending the post here, so it'll show the time as before 7 pm.
• Took a midterm exam (more like in-class essay). (boo..)
• Big/Little reveal!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!
I have no little though. :c
We went to BWW. I came back to my dorm a few minutes ago. Cutepups is living! XD
...... that’s pretty much it.
I’m planning on taking my higher dose of my medication tomorrow night.
Let’s see how that goes! (yeet)
I know none of you guys actually can remind me. But like. Hey. Remind me to make at least one post tomorrow. Preferably before 7 pm. Thanks y’all.
Haha, for today’s event I had to dress like it was the 1970s. Eh, I tried. It was fun though. ~GROOVY~
The new couch came in today, too. Ahh, I’m a little excited to come back home for Thanksgiving break! And not just to see my babies (I mean my pets of course) again.
Oh boy, I gotta update y’all on what happened last weekend. It was.. eventful. It was great. XD
Yeah, I’m gonna cut it off here. Good night, good day, good whatever time of day it is you read this.
