NYE 2020

 Hi. I’m less sad/mad/upset now. :) 

It’s New Year’s Eve, almost New Year’s where I live. 2020 is almost over. Finally. 

This year felt like half a decade to me. It felt so long. Agonizingly long. 

I don’t really have any plans. Spending tonight at home with my family. Had Thai food for dinner. It was delicious. Having dessert now. 

Mm, food, yes. :P

I just finished watching a Netflix movie with my sister and mom. It’s called White Fang. We watched it with Maxine, who also watched it. Her ears perked up at the noises like the dogs barking and whining in the movie. 

Also, my family stopped “hating” Maxine now, so that’s good. The rescue place where she came from told my sister that Maxine used to be a stray. For most of her life. So I guess that explains why she wasn’t trained before and her aggression towards other dogs. Maybe. 

I’m going to miss her so much. She’s so sweet with people. It’s just dogs that she doesn’t do well with. 

So yeah. Happy and healthy New Year’s, everyone! 

<3 <3 

~ Shan 

...;;...

 Hi. December is almost over. 2020 is almost over. 

I don’t think anything good happened this year. 2020 has been horrible for me since January. Since the beginning. 

I’m so done. Idk why I’m still alive. I have nothing to live for. 

Something very bad happened yesterday. I’m still hurt because of what happened. 

Sad. Angry. Upset. 

Idk why I’m still living. Me still being alive is a fucking joke. A fucked up joke. 

I’m so fucking done with 2020. I have absolutely no expectations for 2021. The only good thing I can think of is that I’ll be turning 21, which means it’ll be easier for me to drink alcohol. 21, the legal drinking age. Yeah yeah. 

Oh and just ignore all the posts I made about Maxine. Just forget about it. They don’t matter. Nothing matters.

My family is probably not going to keep Maxine anymore. She did very bad things. 

 I don’t want to talk about it. 

Just forget about her. Forget everything I said about her. 

I really thought something good happened this year. Oh boy was I wrong. 

Everything is bad and wrong. There is nothing good. I like to pretend there is, but there really isn’t. 

Anyway. Yeah. 

Fuck 2020. 

Bye, I’ll try not to die. 

~ Shan 

Maxine With Her Cone + Deer Close To My House

Hi, I have plenty of pictures I should post on this here wreck of a blog. :)

Note: The order of the pictures in this post isn't chronological. A picture I insert first could have been taken after a picture I'll insert later on in the post.

Yes. Anyway, enjoy my photos. ;D

But first, context.

Maxine has to wear a big cone around her head since she got spayed fairly recently. I think she looks funny with it. 

She gets cold very easily since she's thin and has short fur. I thought it was strange at first when I pet Maxine and then Thelma. The cats have longer fur than the dog now. Not like Sunshine at all, haha.

Maxine is a sighthound mix. We think she's part-whippet or part-greyhound and part... who knows what else. 

Also, I love Maxine's ears. Something happened to her left ear. Ah, her past is a mystery to us. 

As for the deer, I took short videos of them as well, but Blogger doesn't like videos. Oh darn, that's a shame. 

At the end of my backyard, there are woods, so that's probably where the deer came from. There's no fence separating the backyard from the woods. My dad is against fences. I don't know. Anyway.

We saw 4 or 5 deer around our house yesterday afternoon. All female deer. They were hanging out like it's girls night or something. I don't know lmao.

There were 2 in the front yard, and 2 or 3 other deer in the backyard. The ones in the front yard were so close to the house. They were so close to the window and front door. 

Uh... deer in the snow,, pretty. ;w; O_O ??

It snowed the other day. Yes...

Ok, now it's picture time. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ blank space ooooo ~

🐶❄🌨❆🦌

~ Shan 

Then and Now + The Sisters

 Hi, here's another Picrew post. 

(Yes, I have many.)

Well anyway, here's the link: https://picrew.me/image_maker/50700

I only made Jack, Dylan, and Stella and her sister on this design maker. 

....... I especially like the "past" Jack and the "now" Dylan that I designed on this Picrew. 

(yes, yes, yes)

"Past" = Jack and Dylan during their middle school or high school years. "Now" = them in the current day (for the events of story 2). 

Got that? Ok, let's go. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack:

(oh yeah, the first pic is the "then/past" and the second pic is the "now")

(ignore the huge gaps of blank space. it's such cringe, i know.)

I'm obsessed with the "past" Jack for some reason. Jack's natural hair color is a pale, dusty-like brown. He used to have very messy hair before he cut it much shorter and started dyeing it. He got in lots of fights— school fights when he was still in school, and then street fights when he was new to "living" on the streets and didn't know how to really use his... Power. Though he did use it a few times before. He's been through a lot. He's not a stranger to violence and mentally screwing people over. He wasn't a sweet boy. 

Dylan: 

This is going to be one of the only times I'll designing Dylan pre-coming out and pre-transition. (He's still transitioning when story 2 takes place, but I digress...). "Past" [Dylan] looking uncomfortable and feeling bitter for appearing female, like a girl. I think that long hair design fits him, that he would look like that in middle school. The blue bow looks cute, and I guess it replaces how he dyes his hair when he's older. As for the second pic, it just fits him so well. Black T-shirt, hoodie, cap, determined look in his eyes, arched eyebrows, sly grin... yeah, that's pretty much how I imagine Dylan looking physically. 

And now it's time for the sisters. Stella and her sister. I might name her Luna. 

Stella and Luna. 

Those names for the sisters. Sounds like a pair. Star and Moon. 

They used to be close. Their sisterly relationship is sweet... turned bittersweet. 

Stella is the one with blue hair and the stars. 

Luna (?) is the one with the blonde hair and angel halo. Luna has angel vibes. Because she just does. 

(ok, ok, ok)

~* blank space, baby *~

also......

Tonight was the last day of Hanukkah. 🕎

A few nights ago, I took this pic. ;D

Yes, that's a light-up dreidel. I took videos of it spinning, but Blogger doesn't like or won't let me insert videos I made on my phone's camera into blog posts. Blogger... eww. 

My dad found my frog Beanie Baby and tried giving it to Maxine to play with. 

I didn't like that. She shouldn't play with Beanie Babies.

So I grabbed Smoochy (that's the name of the frog) and took this picture. 

Froggy... 🐸

Smoochy is mine! 😤

About Maxine, my sister supposedly signed the papers and mailed the check. Which means...

My sister officially adopted Maxine! She's ours. Supposedly.

😃☺️😊

And here's a pic of Maxine relaxing in her crate and Mr. Zo lying next to it. They're just chilling. Hanging out. 

I like to think they're friends. :)

See? Friends. 😉

What else? Well, lots of things. 

One thing is...

I've been reading this book called Vicious. It's book 1 of the Villains duology. 

It's hard to stop reading. It's so good. 

I may or may not be obsessed. 

(heh, heh, heh)

~ Shan 

NJ Martian Landing Site

 A few weeks ago, my family and I took Maxine (the dog we’re “fostering”) to a park in NJ that’s known for its supposed “Martian Landing Site” according to a radio broadcast from the 1930’s. 

Here is a link about all that: https://weirdnj.com/stories/roadside-oddities/martians-attack-nj-on-halloween-eve/

This place isn’t that far from where I live. >:) heheheh~

Picture time! ;D 

Yes. 👽🍁🍂

We still have Maxine. I put “fostering” in quotes because we might end up adopting her. 

Everything is confusing. I don’t know if we’re really going to end up adopting her. 

It’s hard to tell. 

Maxine is getting spayed today. Well, she did already. 

I wonder how she would change. I know she’ll be very tired. And that she’ll have a cone around her head. 

She broke all of her squeaky dog toys. They’re all broken. She killed them. She’s so brutal. :-(

She’s such a sweet puppy dog. Haha. :’) 

(I rarely check here anymore, omg. I swear I’m still technically alive—)

~ Shan 🖤

Maxine the Foster Dog

Hi. Wow, I’ve been rarely checking here. I post and then forget about it. I read and publish comments, and then I forget about replying to them. I’m so forgetful. 

Anyway. I’m home now. 

On Thanksgiving, my family and I got a foster dog. I mean, we’re fostering her. 

The dog’s name is Maxine. She’s a 4 year old puppy dog. She’s adorable and sweet. She’s very friendly and playful and energetic. 

I love her... ;w; 

Yeah uh... hmm.......

I’m going to insert some pictures of her now. 

Maxine! <3