Twinkle's Story: Chapter 75

*A new chapter has arrived!*
*Warning: violence, body horror, abuses*
*I mean it this time. There is sensitive content in this chapter.*
*You have been warned. Hope you enjoy the first chapter of true pain. ... I mean Chapter 75!*

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TAUREL

There he is. We actually found him. It's the second Fierdan, the Duke Fierdan, in the flesh. He doesn't know it yet, but he is slowly surrendering himself over to me. He's so beautiful, he's such a beautiful boy! Come closer, Duke Fierdan. The hour of death is nigh. 

Then he stops walking. He has to be less than ten feet away from me. This is perfect. Just seeing his face makes me crave broken skin and bones. But most of all, his blood. The Duke Fierdan's precious blood.

Suddenly, the silence my brain has imagined breaks. The sound of a foot stepping on a leaf on the ground can be so loud. It's the very sound of crushing the little life in something; changing the living into the dead. He was the one who stepped on the leaf. I'm not surprised. Fierdan was a killer, after all.

My lips curve upward. "Ah, we finally meet. I am Taurel, the One-Pawed Savior. I've wanted to meet you for a long time now, Duke."

The faint breeze makes it look like the ends of his hair are bouncing against his neck. I wasn't expecting his hair to look so much like Fierdan's. When I looked at Sparkle's photos of Duke, he had much shorter and lighter colored hair. But when I look at him now, his hair is completely dark brown and nearly reaches the bottom of his neck.

His eyes narrow. "I came here because I know exactly who you are. We met before, Taurel, don't you remember?" I watch his lips turn into a thin grin. "I was there too, you know. I saw Calliah beat you and your partner up. She's a pain, isn't she? My mother?"

The top row of my teeth grazes against the bottom row of teeth. The memory of that unfortunate day agitates me. It wasn't meant to end that way. This time, however, Calliah isn't here.

Before I can say anything out loud, I hear a girl's voice calling out his name.

Looks like we have company. This time is different though, Duke. Even if you have others at your side, nothing will keep you away from me. I've worked hard enough already, so I can't afford to lose you again. Duke Fierdan, you will be mine and fall under the control of a new righteous leader. And his name is Taurel, the One-Pawed Savior.

And to you, my father. I'm doing all of this for you. You've been researching Fierdan all your life till your last dying breath. I want answers just as much as you do. 

I dedicate my work to you. I know this is what you would have wanted.

Fierdan killed your sister. She was just a little girl. She didn't deserve to die. She deserved to live.

I will avenge both of your deaths. I will right the wrong in this second generation of continued corruption.

I promise.


DAWN

I slow down my pace when I can assume that they are both able to see me. Before I can repeat his name, he looks me in the eye despite the amount of distance between us.

"Dawn," he breathes with leftover bitterness from before in his voice, "what are you doing here?"

I immediately let out an aggravated sigh. "What am I doing? I'm saving you from unnecessary trouble! Taurel is too dangerous for you to be around alone. I thought you knew that!"

Duke spits on the ground and looks at me angrily. "I don't need your stupid help. I'm fine on my own."

"Taurel wants to--" I start but get interrupted.

He isn't much taller than Duke, but he looks more muscular. His hair is also a dark brown, but in a shade that isn't as dark as Duke or Fierdan's. His eyes narrow as they meet mine. They're a deep dark blue. And of course, there is his left arm that ends at his wrist and is covered in bandages. This is none other than Taurel.

He stares at me and says thoughtfully, "You must be the Dawn I've heard about. You're such a gorgeous little thing. May I ask why you're here interrupting this fine conversation between Duke and me?"

I hesitate before saying, "That's right. I'm Dawn. Now excuse me, but this boy doesn't belong to you."

It takes me a few extra seconds to notice that Taurel yanked on part of Duke's shirt collar. I blink my eyes and see Taurel wrap his right arm around Duke's upper back.

Taurel shows his fangs. "I'm sorry, miss, but he's mine now. If you let me go easily, you won't have to pay any consequences."

While forming both my paws into fists, I growl, "Like hell I'd let you take him away so easily. He is too important for me to give up."

"So you want a fight? Oh, I'll give you a fight."

I smirk before Taurel can say another word. Concentrating on the area of land Taurel is standing on, I stare at it until my eyes flash green for a brief moment.

Then just like that, the land beneath his feet crumbles. When he moved out of the way in shock, his grip on Duke loosened. Duke's right fist smashes into the palm of his left paw.

"A fight it is then," he says. "Let's fight."

When Taurel tries to grab Duke, he stumbles as Duke exposes his orange flames in the shape of wings.

Duke's voice sounds scary. "I heard you wanted to save Jamaa from me. Clearly I'm the one destroying Jamaa, huh. Yet I hear of phantoms terrorizing ordinary citizens every day in central territory. Now I suggest you to get out of our way because we're the only ones who can destroy the phantoms. You call yourself a savior, Taurel? Oh please. Go burn in hell."

When Duke says "burn" I watch him as tiny orange flames erupt from various places on his body. His paws and forearms get covered in the flames. His eyes are the same color as his wings.

"Bring it on, reynard."

But when I hear Taurel speak, he sounds far scarier than Duke.

"Things could have gone peacefully. Don't blame me when I force you to pay the consequences. Don't say I didn't warn you. Oh and Duke, you will belong to me soon enough. Stop fighting against it, I am stronger than you'll ever be."

From above, Duke just smirks at Taurel.

Taurel stares up at him. "I knew you would make things harder for yourselves. I prepared for that. This time, it's my win and your loss."

Duke laughs. "The battle hardly begun. Who are you to say you won and I lost?"

That's when I see Duke's eyes return to normal. My eyes widen. We hear a girl's voice.

"I believe that would be me."


DUKE

Out of all the shocking things that happened in the past twenty-four hours, learning that she was also here was the most brutal blow. How long was she here? Does she work for Taurel? But why?

When school was still open, I considered Sparkle to be my friend alongside Finny. The three of us hung out between classes all the time. Many people believed that we were dating, but each of us had to inform whoever asked that we were cousins. 

I was close to Sparkle while we were in school because she was the first person I knew. When I was younger and constantly hated on by my mother, I went to a different school. I was never good at making new friends. Finny was the only exception. Finny was open and accepting towards me. At least that's what I thought. Not until he started dating one of Sparkle's friends, Admiral. That changed the both of us.

Sparkle and I lived in the same house. On the rare times that I wasn't staying after school because of detention, we would walk home together. Home as in Sparkle's; their house wasn't my true home. That's a reason why I left their home and headed for the Tall Tower's roof. I could finally feel free for those precious few hours each day. 

Even though Sparkle is my cousin on my father's side of the family, I saw her as my sister at times. We used to be that close.

"Duke!" I hear Dawn say, nudging me on the right side of my ribs. I must have gotten so distracted that I made my wings vanish.

I push her away from me. I look at my feet and sigh.

This can't be happening. Leave me alone, Soulless. Stop screwing me over.

I rub my eyes before looking up. When I do, I realize this can't possibly be a dream or hallucination. She really is here. Knowing that's the truth hurts the most.

Feeling like I'm still in some kind of daze, I look at her and whisper her name, "Sparkle."

She replies with my name. There's no hint of surprise in her voice. Was she expecting me? Did she know I would come here? I wish I knew.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her, staring at her red-pink hair.

I didn't expect Dawn to answer, but she still does. "Leave her. She believes that she can save you from your true identity."

"It's not his true identity!" Sparkle retorts. "He got contaminated! If you let Taurel and the rest of us take him, we can save him from Fier--"

Dawn laughs. "Save him? Save Duke from what? Himself? He is related to Fierdan."

I silently watch the conversation unfold around me. What could I possibly say? I bite my lip as I watch Sparkle's cheeks redden.

"Stop saying that!" Sparkle faces me, the look in her eyes drenching in desperation. "Go on, Duke. Tell her what she's saying isn't true. It can't be! Risak is wrong. I can save you. Taurel will help me save you. We'll wipe away the Fierdan contamination from you."

This time, Dawn doesn't immediately say something back. I embrace the silence before speaking up.

"You won't be able to save me from Fierdan. I'm sorry, Sparkle, but if you believe that, then you wouldn't ever stop torturing the supposed contamination from inside me."

"Torture? What are you talking about?"

Sparkle, you are so fake. I can see right through you. I should have known better. You never loved me as much as I loved you. You always hated me. And finding out about Fierdan was your tipping point.

"Calliah told me all about Taurel's plans. She told me about what he planned to do with me. About what he and Risak would do to me."

Sparkle tilts her head. "Your mother? You talked with her recently?"

I can sense the anger coming off her. I don't mind though, I sense my anger coming back to me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Taurel frown. He didn't know that I knew. I have an advantage here.

"Yes, I did. Are you bothered at the fact that I have phantom blood and was speaking with my mother who also has phantom blood?"

Sparkle and Taurel exchange looks. They look at each other grimly.

I throw my arms back and look up at the surrounding trees. I even start laughing. This is perfect, so freaking perfect.

"I find the fact that you chose the basement of the Tall Tower as your torture dungeon very hilarious. I wonder how you knew. I don't remember going out of my way to tell you that I spent nights on the Tall Tower roof with my one and only girlfriend, Twinkle."

"Hilarious?" Sparkle and Taurel say in unison.

Still looking at the tops of trees and the sky, I nod. "So freaking hilarious. The Tall Tower reminds me of that one night from a few months ago. I still can't believe it's been that long already. When I think about the Tall Tower, I think about its roof which was the place where I kissed Twinkle for the first time. Spending a night together up above the city is nice. Add in taking off clothes, creating fire, locked eyes and lips, and sleeping together, and it gets pretty hot."

I laugh harder. Sparkle must hate me. I must be right.

"You actually had it going on with a girl, huh Duke? I was starting to lose faith in you that you had the capability to do that. But going all the way there? You must have been saving your first real kiss for something really special."

That's right, unfortunately. "First real kiss." The first time I willingly kissed someone on the lips. Sparkle must have also been there when Admiral started kissing me out of nowhere in the school cafeteria. We weren't even a couple, but that didn't stop her from pressing her lips to mine. I should have brought it up back then to those people, but what could I have said? It doesn't really count as an act of harassment, right? 

I look down at Sparkle and smirk. I'll let her interpret what I said in whatever way she likes. All those ordinary teens with their dirty minds.

When I bring my arms down at my sides, I feel the fire in my veins start to ebb away. I get interrupted by my train of thought because I hear Sparkle's voice again. This time, however, she is the one laughing.

Seeing her brown eyes stare at me only fuels my anger. It turns out that Sparkle's presence evolved my aggravation from embers to flames. She lit the spark.

Her last lines are the deal breaker. "Out of all the girls you could have chosen as your girlfriend, why did you choose her? I thought there was something wrong with you romantically for so long. For crying out loud, being gay would have been better than you dating Twinkle. Anything would have been better than dating that depressed, slit wrist freak."

I clench my fists; the claws digging into the center of my palms. The feeling of fire running in my veins had just disappeared, and it suddenly returns. The familiar warmth I feel up my spine and through my shoulderblades when my wings appear is now in my fists and travelling up my arms. I'm burning internally.

Months and months ago, Finny and Admiral were a couple. A short-lived couple, but still a couple nonetheless. I was stupid back then. All girls I noticed in school didn't interest me at all. Romance can be way too pointless and overrated. But I still wanted to be with someone who I knew wouldn't be judgmental. I craved intimacy, but unlike my classmates, I meant it both physically and emotionally. Even though I taught myself to grow up being repulsed over the purple and black flame that covers the top left of my chest, I wanted to open up completely to my potential lover. I wanted them to see me for who I really am. If I knew they wouldn't fully accept me, then I wouldn't even bother making the first step.

I thought Finny was the only person I could trust. Ever since I lived with Sparkle's family, I never opened up to anyone like him. I considered Finny to be my best friend. I wanted to be more than friends.

Our friendship changed for the worst when I let certain words spill out. I was so stupid. Clearly, he was normal like the rest of them. Clearly, I was the different one. Of course, Finny was only into girls. Meanwhile I wasn't sure about my feelings. 

Ever since that day, I tried to extinguish any possible feelings I had for Finny. I locked those feelings deep inside myself for so long that I forgot I had them in the first place. 

Not long after that day, Admiral broke up with Finny. She ended up dating him because I refused to date her. But that didn't matter. After their relationship ended, she came back to me. She wanted me so badly. We barely knew each other, so we both knew her feelings were due to lust.

Then Twinkle came along. Twinkle was a girl, and I was interested in her. I took her by the paw and ended up dragging her into my chaotic life. Now look at what happened to us.

"Who are you to dictate who I want to love?" I ask, my glaring eyes switching focus from Sparkle to Taurel. "Who are you to say that there's something wrong and hideous about Twinkle? Who are you to say that there's something wrong with being gay as if it's a low point?"

Feeling my arms get covered in flames again, I step closer to Sparkle. I've shut Dawn out.

I speak again when I see Sparkle starting to open her mouth. While raising my right paw in front of me, the palm facing me and my fingers separated from each other, flames from my fingertips create a kind of veil from my nose to chin. I can practically taste fire every time I open my mouth.

"You call Twinkle a freak, but here you are wanting to capture and later torture me because I'm the new Fierdan. Pay attention to your words more often, it's the reason why your writings suck."

I let Sparkle speak this time. "We're not going to torture you, Duke!"

"Lies, what a bunch of lies," I mutter and take a quick glance at Taurel. I can't fully distinguish what emotion is on his face.

Then I remember Dawn. Her warning directed at me is "Watch it!"

I couldn't care less about Dawn's words. This is between Sparkle and me. I'm getting tired of all this.

"And what do you know about writings? You don't even try in school!" says Sparkle.

"I'll let you in on a little secret," I say, lowering my voice. "Twinkle wrote poems."

She cuts me off. "I know that."

I lean closer towards her. "So did I. If you think Twinkle is a freak because she wrote things and damaged her wrists, then you better call me a freak as well. Because I did the same. If this has to do with ugliness, then I'll have you know that I'm far uglier than Twinkle will ever be. I'm Fierdan after all, right?"

I start lowering my right paw when I say, "I bet you didn't know that Fierdan was a writing prodigy. Before he got contaminated."

Before I know what I'm doing, I have my right paw in a fist again. It's covered in orange flames.

Suddenly, the background falls apart and is replaced by an old and dimly lit room. Instead of seeing Sparkle or Taurel, I see Fierdan and Dawn.

Right after I watch Fierdan throw a ball of black fire, I reopen my eyes and find myself having just thrown a ball of orange fire. But instead of being like Fierdan who threw it at Dawn, I threw it at Sparkle.

Luckily, Sparkle dodges it just in time. Thanks to Dawn.

And then I hear the sound of slow claps. I turn away from Sparkle and look at Taurel. He is the one clapping. It confuses me how much it sounds like clapping paws since Taurel only has one paw.

"This is perfect. Things are going to plan," he says and then looks away from the rest of us. "Risak, you can come out now. They have the wolf pup, so bring the wolf with you."

Does he mean Ardere? What does Ardere have to do with anything?

"And while you're at it, bring out the guns. Unfortunately, Duke refuses to come with us without a fight. It seems that he is willing to pay the consequences of not obeying the Savior."


TWINKLE

It takes me a while for my eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. Is this how Fauna felt while she was alive? For now, I just have to deal with a stranger guiding me through the twists and turns of an underground passageway. I'm walking blindly; I have to trust Jinx for now. I have no other choice, and besides, he told me he can bring me to my parents.

"I never knew there were tunnels in this part of territory," I say under my breath while following Jinx around a wide curve in the path.

I immediately check my jacket to see if the blue sword is still there when I hear Jinx's voice. I sigh in relief once my paws feel the shape of the sword.

"Well, I helped construct these tunnels. The complex routes should make phantoms wary of following us."

"And you thought of the idea to build tunnels? Is that the only way to prevent phantoms from coming?" I ask while skimming one of my paws over a tunnel wall. It feels cold and rough; I can't tell if it's stone or some strange form of dirt.

 "Actually, it was someone else's idea. We aren't sure if it definitely will in all scenarios, but it was the best attempt at keeping them out so far."

Jinx and I continue walking for a few minutes, but then I see the slightest bit of light. I'm not completely sure if I'm imagining the guy running in our direction.

In the limited amount of light, I can still make out Jinx's worried expression when he faces me.

"Be right back," he tells me before running towards the other guy.

A minute passes before Jinx returns. The other guy is at his side.

I look up at him. He looks very similar to Jinx- same body structure, clothes, and light gray eyes. On a second glance, I realize he also has those strange tattoos on his eyelids and around his eyes. However, unlike with Jinx who only has black tattoos, some of the tattoos under his eyes are purple. Where Jinx has short and spiky silver hair, this guy has white hair with multiple streaks of black and purple.

Jinx clears his throat and says, "This is Jax. He is my--"

I swing my head from Jinx and Jax. "Brother?"

My face heats up a little when I hear Jax chuckle. "Not exactly brothers. No, we're, uh..."

Jinx picks up where he went off. "Actually, we are brothers. That'll be the simplest way to put it. Call us the Jainx Brothers."

"Jay... inks?" I tilt my head, trying to pronounce the word.

Jax looks away from Jinx and faces me. "The J duo for short."

I step closer towards them. "If you're not brothers, then who are you? Both of you look very much alike. I also have never seen you around the territory before, so who are you two?"

"We are related, I'll give you that. Jax and I are much closer than to be called mere siblings. That includes twins as well. About the fact that we haven't met each other before this terrible predicament, we haven't been out much. Both of us were scared to show our faces out in public because of our weird hair and names."

Jax snickers and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, of course that's the truth. We were always living here. We're definitely foxes."

Before Jax can say anything else, Jinx kicks the back of his ankle. "Shush!"

Suddenly suspicious, I take out the blue sword. I hold it up in front of me, which makes both of them take a step back.

My eyes are narrowed as I say, "What is that supposed to mean? Are you not foxes? Don't tell me you two are phantoms that I have to destroy."

"No, no! It's not like that at all, Twinkle," Jinx says with widened eyes.

I feel Jax's eyes stare right through me as he murmurs, "The star-named child, Stella. She's the one who can master both ice and fire. It has to be her. She can lead us to the rest."

"Stella? The rest? What do you mean?" I ask, beginning to lower the sword.

Jinx glares at Jax. "Shut up! Don't reveal everything about us and them to her yet. We have to go!"

The next thing I know is seeing Jinx grab Jax's right paw and them running further down the tunnel towards the light. Without a moment's hesitation, I run after them.

Before I can see what's up ahead, Jinx steps in front of me. "Remember what I told you before about how phantoms can't hurt me? Well, they can't hurt Jax either. We're immune to phantom shocks."

I look away from his face and down at my feet. Now that we're in the light, I can see everything clearly now. "Oh, you two are very lucky then."

Then I hear Jax's voice. "But since you have the ice-fire Elemental Power and that blue sword on you, perhaps you could help out without putting yourself in obvious life-threatening danger."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

But when Jinx steps to the side, I know exactly what they're referring to.

Of course this has to happen again. My path always crosses with the paths of phantoms. But this time is different. I'm stronger now. I've built myself anew, and I won't fall back down that easily.

There is this fairly large and empty room. Well, aside from the crowd of people trembling in one corner and the nine phantoms heading their way.

"Can you activate it?" Jax asks, glancing at my sword.

Even though I don't know what he means by "activate," I nod my head. I translate "activate" to mean bring out the cold blue flames. And so I do just that.

Veins are like a complex network of passageways hidden underneath a person's skin. When Duke is moments away from being covered in orange flames, I imagine a hot orange liquid running through his veins. For me, however, I imagine a cold blue liquid running through my veins. Where Duke feels the familiar warmth in his shoulderblades when his wings appear, I feel the familiar chill in mine.

It's obvious to the both of us that we are opposites to the same coin. Our life is a coin toss game; we always have to pick which side, heads or tails, each of us are on. After all, we are fire parallels. The only clear difference is determined by our opposite ends of the spectrum. The spectrum of hot and cold; the gradual change from heat to frost.

When I spread my blue wings out, I smile at Jinx and Jax. Feeling the tiny blue flames all over my face, hair, and body is so refreshing.

"Well, what about activating your sword?" Jax says, frowning at the sword.

"It has no on-off switch," I start.

"No, he means," Jinx says, "uh, can I see it?"

I give the sword to him and shrug.

"Hold it like this," he says while holding the sword sideways a few inches in front of the top of his rib cage. "Try to make the blade catch fire. Let your blue flames cover the sword. It'll make you all the more powerful against the phantoms."

I nod. "Okay, I'll give it a shot."

I tighten my grip on the hilt of the sword with my right paw. I concentrate on my fingers wrapped around it as I turn the sword horizontally like Jinx did. Then one little blue flame comes in contact with the tip of the blade. Immediately, many other flames follow.

It doesn't take long for the blade to be covered in cold blue flames.

"She has to be Stella. Look at her," I hear Jax whisper in Jinx's ear.

Jinx must have ignored his comment because he smiles at me. "Great job, Twinkle, you activated it."

My eyes turn entirely blue as I glance determinedly at the room in front of us. Holding my sword up, the tip of the blade at the same level as my eyes, I march into the room.

Jinx and Jax stop muttering among themselves and follow me.

From inside the room, the atmosphere of the place has changed completely. I start shivering from the unease that had been building up inside me ever since Jinx led me into the tunnels.

"The J duo is here," I hear a middle-aged male announce. "We're gonna live!"

I pause mid-step when Jinx laughs. "Oh no, Jax and I won't be doing a single thing to help you folks."

Panicked muttering breaks out among the crowd trapped in the corner.

"What do you mean? You're not gonna help us? But you're immune to phantoms! You two are the only ones keeping us safe!" a middle-aged lady cries out.

I can't help but shift my focus on the sudden cold sweat on the back of my neck.

Why would they do that? They're putting such a huge responsibility on me! Can I really do this? There are nine of them! In the past, one could nearly kill me. 

Things will end differently this time. I'm not the same person I was back then. I can protect myself. I can fight back now. 

I look up at the looming cloud of phantoms heading our way. With glaring eyes that are practically the equivalent to two shards of blue ice, I grin widely.

"Don't feel hopeless yet. This is not your end yet, and neither is it mine," I say and narrow my eyes. "I'll make sure phantoms will learn to fear me."

The muttering quiets down as I rise my left foot off the ground.

I give the phantoms the death glare as I lift my right foot off the ground. My wings cause me to fly closer and closer to the room's ceiling.

Baring my teeth, I growl at the phantoms. "Now, prepare to die."

Three. Two. One. Let's go!


FAUNA

Ever since Fierdan explained Night Crow, he has been pressuring me to come up with a way so the both of us can appear as physical beings in Jamaa. He won't seem to let it go. By now, I'm so frustrated that I wonder what's going on in his head.

I'm not sure if it's sweat, tears, or black goop on either side of my face. To be honest, I'm too tired to care. I try to steady my breathing as I wipe a side of my face with a paw.

I sigh deeply as I face Fierdan. "For the last time, I can't do this."

Even though the look in his eyes is harsher now, I can only think that he's not feeling that way towards me. No matter how many times I've attempted, his voice remains in that strange combination of gentle and firm.

"I brought you here because I know you have the ability to. There are reasons why you're here," Fierdan says.

The way he speaks is only leaving me more frustrated. "Why are you being so nice to me? You only really brought me here in order for me to turn you into a living person in Jamaa somehow. I know there isn't much time left. I also know you're relying on me to do this. But, I'm sorry, I can't do this."

Fierdan holds up his left paw and stares at it while he says, "What's wrong with me trying to change how people perceive me? I want to become a good person, starting with you. What's wrong with that?" His fingertips slowly curve in towards his palm. "Every single day, I'm burdened by the fact that I've done terrible things. I've never been the villain here. I'll keep on telling me that."

Oh great, now he's blaming his actions on Soulless again.

By now, his paw is in a fist. "You're an angel, right?"

I cross my arms. "That has nothing to do with anything. I still don't have the magic abilities that you and Dawn have."

He doesn't raise his voice, but his fist looks more forced. "Why don't you try again? You are an angel, after all."

"What if I don't want to? It's not like you would understand," I blurt out without thinking.

Fierdan raises his head and faces where a ceiling would be. He brings his right paw up to the back of his head for a quick moment before bringing it down again. A few seconds later, I see dark strands of hair fall down to his shoulders. The tone of his voice doesn't change, but I know he's struggling to keep it that way.

"When it comes to doing things I'm tired of doing and not wanting to do anymore, I totally understand. Perhaps too well," he says and then looks down at me. "What is it exactly that I have a lack of understanding in when it comes to this subject?"

As I look at his widened eyes and his tangled mess of hair, I immediately remember what he told me about our ages. If I perceive myself as being eleven years old and Twinkle and Duke as fourteen year olds despite the three year age gap between our ages in Jamaa and the human world, then I can only view this form of Fierdan as being sixteen. When I look at him now, I can only see that frightened child from long ago but now older.

"Do you remember that time when Soulless and I took over Duke's mind?"

It doesn't take me more than a few seconds to know what Fierdan is referring to. I ended up saving Twinkle from Duke for her safety.

I say, "Of course I remember. I also thought I tried to kill you."

Fierdan closes his eyes and sighs. His eyes are barely open when he says, "I believe that you and Twinkle assumed that it was Duke who cried out some phrases near the end of our encounter. Unfortunately, you assumed wrong. Duke himself didn't say most of them to me." His eyes are open now. "I did."

I look at Fierdan suspiciously. "Twinkle and I were there, and we knew what we heard. The voice was Duke's in opposition to what you were making him do."

"Have you forgotten what I told you, Fauna? Duke was a magical experiment I created; his very being is a fusion of Soulless and myself."

He raises his right paw and looks at it in the same way he did with his left one.

All of a sudden, I hear Fierdan laugh. "The Duke you thought you saw back then wasn't a part of it at all. I was crying in protest against Soulless's actions. Their full form as well as the Soulless part of Duke's identity."

I frown at him. "I don't believe you at all, Fierdan."

He responds by laughing harder. "Soulless only makes life a pure living hell."

I don't know exactly why, but I'm suddenly thinking back to that day.

Duke was standing in front of me. His breathing was a bit staggered, and he had a wicked look to his face. 

Then I see Fierdan, his head lowered and his paws gripping his knees tightly. Tears stream down his face as he cries, "Leave me alone!"

Then a deeper and calmer voice answered him. "Oh, don't be so foolish." 

I remember hearing those words from that day. But what I hear next sounds like someone's thoughts. Fierdan's thoughts out loud.

"Please don't do this, Soulless. Stop making me do these things." Those are the sentences I hear in a rushed whisper.

That's when I watch a much taller form than Fierdan become a mass of gray against the black. I immediately put a name to it- Soulless. 

Soulless grins widely. "You never learned your purpose. How about you learn your lesson?"

Fierdan looks over his shoulder. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no--"

His pleads were abruptly cut off. When I look at Soulless, I see two whips producing blue electricity appear in what I assume are their paws.

And then I watch Soulless hitting Fierdan's back repeatedly with the whips. Even when I see bruises and blood, Soulless doesn't stop. 

Fierdan has to pause between every word because the strikes that Soulless is giving him come at a set interval. His body flashes the color of the electricity on Soulless's whips whenever he is hit with them, which prevents his ability to speak.

Hearing Fierdan speak sends chills down my spine. "I... don't... want... to..."

Then Soulless grabs Fierdan from behind. Those last two words I hear Fierdan shriek are much louder. "HURT HER!"

"Finally, something we can agree on," says Soulless. 

The next thing I see is Soulless slip inside Fierdan from his back. And then outside I see Duke standing right where he was before.

I shake my head and get distracted by noticing Fierdan's fingertips on both my shoulders. When I take a step back, I almost stumble.

"W-What did you do?" I stutter, feeling a rapid beating in my chest.

Fierdan looks up again. He asks a similar question from before.

"Do you believe in the Multiple Realities Theory?"

Puzzled, I tilt my head. "What?"

"Personally, I've been thinking about it a lot. I can't help but to think about a version of my life without Soulless being in it."

"A reality without Soulless?" I ask.

"Everything would have ended up differently if Soulless never existed. My life wouldn't have been as much of a hell then. Soulless and my father, they were the ones who made my existence nothing but pain. But it doesn't matter. In this reality, Soulless exists. If they didn't, I wouldn't have..."

Fierdan doesn't finish his sentence. Instead, he looks down again. This time, however, I see him smiling as tears fall from both his eyes.

Seeing Fierdan cry while smiling in front of me makes me wince. What possible game are you playing at?

I barely hear Fierdan say, "I'm such a coward."

What game, Fierdan, what game is this?

Only now do I hear any real emotion in his words. The way Fierdan stares at me is haunting.

"I should have let Soulless torture me until I couldn't be alive anymore. I should have never let Soulless manipulate me. I was a coward who was too scared to die, so other people died instead. It was all my fault. Everything would have ended up better if I killed myself earlier when I still had the chance. Then they wouldn't have died at my feet.
 Soulless kept on hurting me both physically and psychologically. I kept on being the perfect vessel for Soulless to enter to possess me. Without Soulless, I know I wouldn't kill all those people."

I don't know how he did it, but somehow Fierdan looks even more scarier now than a few minutes ago.

"Soulless says I'm too attached. The only reason I'm attached to them is because of the endless guilt I have. I need them to hurt me. I deserve the pain.
One time, Soulless made me try to kill Dawn. I was such a coward that I would have allowed myself to kill the one person I cared about rather than myself. To throw black fire at her..."

Fierdan holds both his paws up at eye-level. Palms facing upward, fingers slightly trembling as if he's trying to grasp something.

What could I possibly say at a time like this? 

"There will always be blood left on me. It won't go away. Do you know what it's like having the blood of people you killed drown you every time you sleep? Do you know what it's like to kill someone?" He pauses for a moment. "Fauna, do you know anything about humans?"

The last question leaves me off-guard. "Of course I don't," I reply.

No more tears fall from his eyes. He still smiles though. "Of course you don't."

"Why do you ask?"

Fierdan says, "Humans and what we call ourselves over here- foxes- have similar anatomy. Humans are said to have over 200 bones and over 70 organs in their bodies."

Even though I'm totally confused, I nod my head slowly. "Okay."

"It's from all the experiences of Soulless possessing and manipulating my physical body to kill people that I've learned about body anatomy. Killing made me learn up close and personal the breaking point of body parts. I know how to kill people by breaking a certain bone, muscle, organ. Thanks to Soulless, I have all that knowledge. I never asked for it, yet I still received it."

Fierdan starts walking away from me.

"I'm sorry for telling you this."

Additional Notes (mostly about Fierdan)

Hi. I'm back.

Because of life, I couldn't go on my computer yesterday. I felt bad (more mad than sad though) for most of yesterday. Then I wasn't home for a few hours. And then it got late.

So yeah. Didn't start the long Chapter 75 post yet. I'm really hoping I can today.

Life gets in the way sometimes. Yeah ugh.

Well, then I was like, "Why don't I make another post?" So here I am to post about my problematic son whom I love. And by that, I mean Fierdan.

Viewers: Omg Cutepups, why do you love him so much? Isn't he evil and bad? And not like other cartoon antagonists of your favorite TV shows because Fierdan actually killed someone?
Me: Yes. I love him. He's gonna tell Fauna the gist of his trauma in Chapter 75. Mm angst.
Viewers: But he's bad! Stop glorifying him!
Me: Ah, that's completely true. Fierdan has a ton of flaws. He did several effed up things. I'll get to that in Chapter 75. He's not perfect, but neither are the other characters. And besides, Fierdan isn't the only killer. Oh and like the parallel with Duke about the Five Stages of Grief with denial and acceptance, Fierdan has been in the denial stage for a while but will go to the acceptance stage.
Viewers: But--
Me: When I go into explaining Fierdan's past in both worlds when he and Dawn were little, then you will see. I love them so much. They deserved so much better.

Yeah, I'll cut the random skit off there.

Detailed mentions of violence will be talked about by Fierdan in Chapter 75. Thinking about Fauna's POV is making me emotional. Omg what the heck.

Fierdan and Dawn. I love them so much, you guys have no idea. I think they're my favorite relationship out of all the characters. Well, before Fierdan got crazy and almost killed her. But before then. Like when they were younger. And then there's Fierdan's motive for killing Zios. Perhaps it connects to Dawn. Ummmmmm.

Fierdan in a strange way showing that Big Bro Protector role towards Dawn.

That's right. I changed how I view Fierdan and Dawn's relationship a lot from previous years. No actual romance. So much more improved.

~ changes topic to art ~

Even though I have a lot of unfinished sketches and poem ideas, I feel like drawing new pieces of the Extraordinary Others squad.

Extraordinary Squad: my temporary name for all my characters with Elemental Powers

I jokingly brought up the idea of drawing them in various AUs. Now I seriously want to draw those. Haha whoops.

Here are the AUs I have in mind:

- royalty AU
- models AU
- sports AU
- fantasy AU

Yeah lol. I think about my characters too much.

I also want to draw Duke and Fierdan/Danny better. Cutepups Goal: to draw them looking how I visualize them in certain scenes with those hot (sexy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *cough*) looks.

Well. Humans. The only difference between me drawing them as "human" or "fox" is the nose and ears. I don't even draw snouts. I gave up on that lol. Long nose or short nose. Round ears or triangular ears. That's basically it.

Shh shut up, Cutepups. Ahh.

Umm.. how to draw abs. Hmmst.

I want to make a skit where the characters roast each other. Oh yes. Damn it, Cutepups.

Oh and I drew this a few months ago. Haha, look at me drawing hot bloody Fierdan.

Sorry, gotta copy and paste.

http://blueblazingspirit.deviantart.com/art/Bloody-Faced-680377504

I'm using my deviantart link because I'm lazy and it's faster to find it on my dA than on here.

I want to draw the same thing but as human version Fierdan. Which is different than Danny. Because he looks like that when he calls himself Fierdan.

Oh and since something happened with the app that I drew it on, I don't know how to draw digitally on there. So I'll draw it traditionally then.

Haha yeah, Fierdan doesn't have short hair. I'm going to mention his hair in Chapter 75 as well. It's pretty long. And pretty messy.

The beginning part of Fauna's POV. How cute. I'm planning on making that POV an emotional train wreck. Heheheh.

I know I've mentioned Fierdan in Chapter 75 the most, but a lot happens in the other POVs as well.

You'll just have to wait and see what those things are. >:')

That character development though. Just.. wow.

Well, until next post...

Forgot to mention

Hi, I realized I forgot to say something.

Oh and no, I didn't start the chapter yet. Eh whoops.

Since I'm thinking of finishing chapters in more than just several hours in one day, I'm going to use more time working on them. This means there could be a day or few with no new posts until I've finished the chapter.

So you would have to possibly wait longer for new chapters. Not like anyone really minds, huh.

I'm aiming to start the chapter tomorrow. I hope I can.

I want my chapters to have more quality. I'm trying.

Hmm.. this post seems short. Eh, why not. I'll list what to expect in the next chapter.

- Understanding Fierdan better.
- Some brief mention of anatomy stuff.
- What Fierdan means by the Multiple Realities Theory.
- Fierdan with Fauna.. ahh, kinda cute.
- Introductions of new characters.
- Motives coming to the surface.
- First signs of battle.

And maybe Chapter 76 could feature a flashback all the way back to the pre-Jamaa human world.

Chapter 75.. whew. Coming soon.

It's only the beginning...

Of the end.

Posting Chapters Update (important!)

Hi again. Cutepups here. ^-^"

I said I would make another post today, so here I am. If you view my blog a lot and have read all the way up to the most recent posted chapter (Ch. 74), then this post might possibly have some important details.

But of course before that, the unrelated announcements! (Yeah again, sorry.)

I changed my Blogger profile to this:

It's from one of my older blog banners. All of my previous blog banners are under the page marked "Previous Blog Banners."

Oh and I also screenshotted the comments of validation. My computer drawing skills.. mm wow.

Here is my archive of Twinkle's Story chapters. This is where I go to check up on information I said in previous chapters. I've been checking far more often recently. Why, you ask? I love suffering, for comparisons, and to make sure my upcoming story plans make sense. 

I just wanted to post about all that before I forget to. I'm typing this post on my computer. Doing that is pretty rare for me nowadays. Well, it's been that way for a long while. 

Anyway, onto the main point of this post! 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I decided to change my profile picture to an image I used as part of an old banner for a reason. Duke will look similar to how the person in that picture looks in upcoming chapters. It can also mean the same for Fierdan in flashback scenes. In other words, that look becomes a look in the actual story. The red effect I used reminds me of Duke wearing the blood red outfit. 

Why did I do this so suddenly? 

I'm planning on typing and posting Chapter 75 very soon. 

But about that...

I have to make some changes. Gotta make an update to how things have been. 

I've been thinking and planning the part of the story where it is at now for a long, long time. The story is at the part that I'm most excited to write out. If you want numbers, then I'm talking about Chapters 75 to 80-something. 

Even with all the skits where I poke fun at my characters, I've been getting serious about my writing. I really don't want to mess these chapters up. I can't do that. I've perfected most of the scenes in these chapters for around two years now. Last week, I perfected the scenes I started planning out only earlier this year. 

I'm going to mainly refer to Chapter 75 for the rest of what I have to say.

I usually finish typing chapters in one day. In other words, I type a full chapter in a day. 

But I'm probably gonna end up changing that.

Chapter 75 and other upcoming chapters are going to be chapters more on the longer length side. I don't want to forget any important details in these chapters. Finishing chapters in one day leaves me tired, and I usually leave out some important details I wish I could remember to put in.

I might also be doing this because I'm lazy and tired to the extreme. Ah, oh well.

Now I'm going to take more time working on chapters. That means the date I start typing the chapter doesn't mean it will be the same date I end the chapter. For example, I could begin the chapter tomorrow but turn it into a published post on Saturday. 

Chapters 75 to 80-something will be by far the most violent and emotional chapters of the story so far. Not any of the fake crap I said in 2014 about that stuff. I really mean it this time. The warning is there for a reason. Twinkle's Story is not a children's story by a long shot. If we're including these upcoming chapters, I'll rate it ages teen up. I'm also thinking of letting the characters actually swear more openly (ex. saying "damn" instead of "darn", "crap" instead of "poop"). I'm still debating on whether I should really let certain characters say the four-lettered f and s swear words. And of course,  I especially mean Fierdan and Duke when I say that. 

Warning for sensitive content material in Chapter 75. Remember that when it comes to the POV with Fierdan in it. 

It's getting deep, guys. 

Bye. <3

Blogging and Cryptids Skit: Part 5

Part 5 of the skit series I currently have going on.

But first, have some unrelated messages!

(Ugh fine, Cutepups.)

Ok lol so hey guys.

I woke up at 5 am, and I don't know why. I don't feel like going back to sleep, so I'm typing this at 7 in the morning. Four hours of sleep.. way to go, foolish Cutepups.

I've recently gotten into this anime abbreviated to BNHA. Uh yes wow lol.

I suddenly want to create a lot of fan art of shows I like. Um.. heck.

I saw a lot of cats on Sunday. Cat showcase with many beautiful cat breeds. But I liked the dog expo better than the cat expo.

I'm planning on making another post later. Might be considered important if you read Twinkle's Story.

That's the end of the pre-skit announcements. Now onto the skit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Flashback to 4:30 am on Tuesday. This is continuing from Part 3 which focused on my two favorite problematic and way too extra boys, Duke and Fierdan.]

Duke: So what do we now?
Fierdan: *is already running closer to the cryptids*
Duke: What in the world are you doing?
Fierdan: *completely ignores Duke and continues running*
Duke: Well okay then. Make the situation even more dangerous. That's a great idea.
Fierdan: *looking over his shoulder before leaping into the air* Watch this, Duke.
Duke: How do you have so much energy? I feel like I'm about to collapse.
Fierdan: I never sleep.
Duke: Oh.. oh okay.
Fierdan: *looks like he is about to fall but his black fire wings appear*
Duke: Why are you using your black fire? You told me you would stop using it!
Fierdan: I'm using black fire because it blends in with the darkness better than using orange fire. I don't want the cryptids to know we're here.
Duke: *gritting teeth* Then why are you standing in midair right above them?!
Fierdan: Shut up, Duke. *takes out camera and snaps some photos of the Bigfoot and Chupacabra*
Duke: *watches Fierdan suddenly plummet to the ground with no explanation*
Fierdan: What the--
Duke: Fierdan! *runs into the clearing with the two cryptids and sees Fierdan lying on the ground*
Fierdan: *opens eyes and sits up* Ow.
Duke: You're an idiot! *gasps when a high-pitched and eerie sound is heard*
Bigfoot: *steps right up to Duke and Fierdan and grins* Excuse me, but I can't allow you to keep that.
Fierdan: Keep what?
Bigfoot: *steals Fierdan's camera*
Fierdan: Hey, give that back! It's mine!
Bigfoot: *tosses camera from hand to hand* Did you know that me and Chuppy here could hear everything that you two were saying?
Duke: Chuppy?
Bigfoot: *whistles and the Chupacabra walks up to the Bigfoot*
Bigfoot: This is my pet Chupacabra. I call her Chuppy.
Chuppy: *sits like a giant dog and smiles when Bigfoot pets her head*
Duke: *swears under his breath*
Bigfoot: Humans are so selfish and entitled. They think the world is theirs but it's not. Their language is filth.
Fierdan: What did you just say, you big freak?!
Bigfoot: Exactly my point. Thanks for that.. *stares intensely at Fierdan* Fierdan.
Fierdan: *suddenly starts laughing while giving Bigfoot a death glare* If you think Duke and I are just other humans, then you have been sadly mistaken.
Chuppy: *tilts head*
Fierdan: *stands up while not averting his eyes from Bigfoot* We lost our humanity a long time ago. I don't give a damn how long we've been in our human forms, I'll never be fully human. Duke is even less human than me.
Bigfoot: What do you mean by that?
Fierdan: *grins* Duke and I did inhumane things in the past. *suddenly looks at the ground and mutters some words that Duke can't decipher*
Chuppy: *is suddenly flung onto her back and whines*
Duke: Chuppy!
Bigfoot: *is sent crashing into a large tree trunk and collapses*
Fierdan: *taking the camera from Bigfoot* I'll take that. I'm not human, so there's no reason why I can't keep this.
Bigfoot: *stands up* You can't reveal to other humans that you saw us!
Duke: Didn't you hear him? We're not human.
Fierdan: I won't. I promise.
Duke: But I thought we went out here, so you could make your own blog posts about cryptids.
Chuppy: *runs to Bigfoot and starts sniffing him all over*
Duke: Are you sure Chuppy isn't a dog?
Fierdan: Does she look like a dog?
Duke: Well.. no.
Fierdan: Then she's not one.
Duke: I know, but..
Fierdan: What?
Duke: What if we got a dog?
Fierdan: A dog?
Duke: Yeah. A dog.
Fierdan: *facing Bigfoot and Chuppy* Now we have to go. Goodbye. *grabs the back of Duke's shirt collar and leaps into the air using orange fire wings this time*

[Some time has passed. Fierdan lands in an empty clearing. He lets go of a sleeping Duke who falls face-first. Then Fierdan sits and watches the horizon as the first rays of pink light hit the sky.]

Fierdan: Dawn..

[One day later.]

Duke: *stretches and yawns* I haven't slept that well in ages. What about you, Fierdan?
Fierdan: I told you. I never sleep.
Duke: Oh.. oh, that's right. I didn't know you meant it literally.
Fierdan: *sighs and looks up* Yeah.
Duke: What?
Fierdan: Oh, it's nothing.
Duke: *shrugs*
Fierdan: We should head back.
Duke: Okay, let's go.

[A few hours later. Duke and Fierdan are standing in front of a door. Twinkle opens the door.]

Twinkle: Where were you?
Duke: *glances at Fierdan from the corner of his eye* On an adventure.
Twinkle: Yeah, I can't picture you two as redheads.
Fierdan: Huh?
Duke: What?
Twinkle: Well, are you gonna enter or not?
Fierdan: Oh.. right. *pushes Duke in front of him and enters the house*

Blogging and Cryptids Skit: Part 4

[It is Wednesday afternoon. Everyone but Duke and Fierdan are sitting on the couch or floor in a living room. They are all humans.]

Brock: *stretches arms over head* I just had this random thought.
Sparkle: *rolls eyes and sighs* Wow, that's so original. Never heard that line from you before.
Finny: Hey, don't be mean. What is it, Brock?
Brock: This might be considered a cursed image, but--
Twinkle: *speaking in monotonous tone* I've witnessed a lot of cursed images, so I have nothing to lose.
Dawn: Honestly, same here.
Sparkle: *glares at Twinkle and Dawn* Ugh fine. What is your random thought of the day, Brock?
Brock: Okay so we all know that Duke and Fierdan both have very dark brown hair, right?
Dawn: *muttering sarcastically* No, I never knew that.
Twinkle: Can we have one skit without talking about those two?
Finny: Cutepups says no.
Twinkle: Damn it.
Brock: Well anyway, I got this random thought they are both actually redheads.
Finny: Redhead? Do you mean having ginger colored hair? While I was on my tumblr account, I learned about the ancient world. People descended from this country called Ireland have red hair. Well, not red hair. It looks more orange than red. Sometimes it's dark orange.
Sparkle: *stares at Twinkle*
Twinkle: *becomes conscious of the fact that her hair used to be a shade of orange before it turned mostly blue* Uh.. heh.
Dawn: *trying hard not to laugh* Why do you think that, Brock?
Brock: *shrugs* Well, you know, Fierdan being in Cincernum with the black goop. Fierdan first creating Duke down there. You also said that when you were first in Jamaa, it was a toxic black goop hell just like in Cincernum. Perhaps the black goop also stained Fierdan's hair black.
Dawn: Hmm.. you actually remember stuff, huh? You're not as stupid as everyone thinks you are.
Brock: Well.. uh.. thank you?
Dawn: However, I knew Fierdan before then. He never had red hair, so he was never a redhead.
Twinkle: Oh thank the heavens. Imagining Fierdan and Duke with the hair colors of a natural redhead is giving me the creeps.
Finny: Mmhm. I agree.
Sparkle: Finally we can fully agree on something, Finny and Twinkle.
Twinkle: The only way I can imagine them as having red hair is if they buy red dye. The color red. But even then, I can't imagine them dyeing their entire hair red.
Sparkle: Oh, like an edgy look.
Twinkle: Well yeah, they're edgelords.
Sparkle: I'm starting to like you a lot more, Twinkle.
Twinkle: Thanks, but you're still a b--

[Ardere and Ryen enter scene.]

Ardere: Hey, what did we miss?
Ryen: This kid is so cool. *ruffles Ardere's hair*
Finny: Oh, we're talking about Duke and Fierdan being redheads.
Ryen: Who brought up that idea?
Finny: *points at Brock* He did.
Ryen: Okay. *goes up to Brock in a threatening way*
Brock: *gulps* Uh.. yes?
Ryen: *dark shadow developing behind him* Do you know who I am?
Brock: Pfft.. yeah. Of course I do.
Ryen: *tilts head and stares at Brock* Then who am I?
Brock: Your name is Ryen.
Ryen: I'm called Ryen.
Brock: Wait, it's a nickname?
Ryen: I never said that.
Brock: *looking very confused* Oh.
Ryen: I am Fierdan's older brother. We share the same mother and father.
Brock: Oh.. that's right. But are you sure you have the same two parents?
Dawn: *sighs*
Ryen: *giving Brock a death glare* I'm very sure.
Ardere: You're being scary, Ryen.
Ryen: Oh sorry, Ardere. *stops giving Brock a death glare* Okay, what color is my hair?
Brock: Black.
Ryen: That's right. It is black. So why would my brother have orange hair? Do either of us have pale white ghostly skin?
Finny: Uh.. heh.
Sparkle: Your skin isn't that light, Finny. Come on now.
Finny: Oh, that's true. *looks at Twinkle*
Sparkle: *sighs* Neither does Twinkle.
Finny: Huh.. oh okay.
Brock: Well.. no. I think I thought about it because of.. umm..
Ryen: Our Elemental Powers?
Brock: Yeah!
Ryen: *chuckles* Thought that might be the case.
Brock: Huh? What? You knew?
Ryen: Since the original color of fire is orange, you think Fierdan and Duke could be redheads. You think their hair looks black because they both use black fire a lot as well. They're also hot-headed and spontaneous. Both of them have been very dramatic in the past. People with fire abilities share most of those traits. Fire brings on passion and impulse. However, Fierdan has been a suspicious and mysterious character for a long time. That's where the color black comes in. But I was always more suspicious and mysterious than Fierdan. I was the one in the shadows, behind it all. *looks at Dawn for a brief moment*
Dawn: Yeah, I can verify that. Ryen was always hidden away doing mysterious things while I hung out with Fierdan. I never saw him that often before Jamaa.
Ryen: Fire, no matter what color it is, makes more people notice than the smoke and shadows that activate the darkness.
Brock: I think I get it now. *walks away in a daze*
Twinkle: Oh, just remembered something. When Duke and I were first aware of our Elemental Powers, he asked why he had power over the fire element. He didn't understand why because of his hair. It wasn't black yet, but it never was orange or red. In fact, he compared it to my father's hair. My father was a redhead. So what I'm thinking is that the color of our hair has something to do with the element we control.
Ardere: Yep! I have dark blond hair, and lightning is mostly known to have a yellow color. You, Twinkle, control cold blue ice-fire. Your hair is mostly blue, just like ice or blue flames. Your Elemental Power is also technically fire, so you also have orange hair. And Dawn has brown hair, which is the color of dirt and nature.
Ryen: This kid is smart. He gets it.
Brock: Ha, my random thought ended up having a valid point!

Setting the Sea on Fire

Hello! ^-^

I finished the dynamic pose sketch. 

Human Duke setting a sea on fire. Well, kind of. He's trying to.

Ugh, he looks like a girl again. Pfft, sorry Duke.

He's wearing the training outfit Dawn gave him. He's wearing the red T-shirt with the black flame design in the center.

I never draw feet, especially not in that position. I tried, okay? Yeah wow. He's wearing socks and sneakers.

This time, I tried a little harder when drawing fire. I used my copic markers to draw and color the fire and waves. It definitely made the fire brighter and stand out more. I never drew and colored fire that much before, and I think this has to be my best attempt at it so far.

I hope it doesn't just look like a row of orange triangles with some yellow. I tried to get a shape of flames. It's hard to though.

Flames are coming out of his hair. Look at that fire action with his hands. 

About hands, I think I'm improving on how I draw them. Same for the eyes.

Oh and I wanted to draw his orange fire wings slightly different than the rest of the fire in the background.

The small round mark to the right of Duke's nose actually gets to be important. There's meaning behind it. Haha yeah. 

Hope you like my art! :)

~ Cutepups <3 

Headcanons for My Characters (idk if 100% true)

Hello. ^-^"

In this post, I'm going to talk about my Twinkle's Story characters. A lot of the details won't make that much sense to you. But it does to me. Only I know the future of this cursed story.

Might dive into sensitive content. So here's a warning.

But before that, can I just say something?

I can't believe how much character development I have from last year and this year in July.

I'm in this illusion that I'm in a far better place than I was in last year. I mean it is kinda true. I am better. Getting better. I don't make vent posts every day anymore.

I learned that in the end, things will probably be okay. A quote I heard from a movie I think has stuck with me. It goes something like, "If you failed, try, try again. Keep on failing, it just gives you more chances to get it right."

It just means a lot to me, okay? Especially because of my journey of trial and error (and repeat) to pass my road test and get my driver's license. (About that, I still haven't drove anywhere by myself. Gonna do that on Monday. Eesh.)

Anyway, onto the main part of the post!

Even though I'm the author, I'm not sure if all these headcanons will turn 100% canon. Most of them are based around the time the story is over, and the possible sequel idea I have that takes place in the mysterious human world.

There's a chance that I'll make another post similar to this one. But I don't know about that right now.

Alright, here goes nothing! :")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twinkle:

- (in our current world translation) She has family from Northwestern Europe. (this counts for Fauna as well)

- As a human before her hair turned blue, she would technically be a redhead. More like a strawberry blonde.

- Since I wrote it in earlier years, I guess she struggled with depression and self harm in the past.

- She still has some struggles, especially when it comes to her past. She disconnected herself from her weaker self. That's a reason why she suddenly yet slowly leaves her stereotypically feminine and outwardly sensitive side behind.

- Twinkle and I aren't sure what her exact romantic orientation is. She could be hetero, bi, or somewhere on the aro spectrum (demi or grey most likely). She is asexual though (or somewhere on the ace spectrum).

-X- -X-

Duke:

- Disconnected himself from several bad memories. When he casually brings them up to someone like Twinkle, he talks about them from an almost third person view. However, he still goes into specific details.

- Even though he talked about specific memories to others or out loud to himself before, he still partially represses parts of those memories. Things happen that will force him to remember and "live in" the full memories.

- Because Duke was created by using a part of Fierdan, Duke lacks a key component that other people would have. Right now, I call it true compassion and empathy.

- Duke's favorite animal that he connects with the most wouldn't be a fox but a bird of prey (probably a crow or raven). He has subtle bird traits. He likes being up high, and he likes using the aerial ability in his fire Elemental Power to create fire wings and fly. The reasons for this could be explained by the creator of Duke- Fierdan. Fierdan made two non-living things become alive- Night Crow and Duke (as the fusion of Fierdan and Soulless).

- Nationality and sexuality would be the same thing for Fierdan, so I'll include it on his list.

- I'm not an expert of course, but if Duke would get names for potential mental illnesses he has, he would have schizoaffective disorder. I think that's the mental disorder where a person has both symptoms of psychosis (or schizo____) and a mood disorder. For Duke, I think it would be psychosis and depression. However, the psychosis symptoms (delusions, hallucinations) could be because of Fierdan and Soulless growing more influential in Duke's head to the time leading up to the Night of the Black Flames. However, after Duke obtains his use of black fire, he hallucinates less. But they don't fully go away. I know I never properly went into his depression symptoms because a lot of it revolves around events leading up to the start of the story (just like with Twinkle). A few symptoms I wrote about already, but it's all been very vague. And of course there's his history of bad coping mechanisms, self harm, and suicidal thinking. The emptiness and hopelessness symptoms will be exaagerated more in future chapters.

- If he could be a fantasy creature, he would be a phoenix. Connection to birds of prey and the fire Elemental Power. Pretty explanatory.

-X- -X-

Fierdan/Danny (shortly before time spent with Fauna in Cincernum to Post-Fierdan): 

- I call him the Tri Bi King. (lmao yes)

- This is based on Post-Fierdan Danny. Like when Duke's soul joins Fierdan's, making them one person. Fierdan had been intimate toward female characters in the past, but there never was a deep significant romantic and/or sexual attraction there. Duke hadn't been truly attracted to any girls until he made himself fall in love with Twinkle. When it comes to boys, it's a mysterious and vague playing field. Which brings me to the next point.

- Tri Bi: bisexual, biracial, bilingual.

- I can kinda imagine Duke and Fierdan (Danny) having no actual romantic attraction, but I just can't view them as being asexual.

- The reason I changed my ways of coloring Danny and Ryen's skin as white to a different color was because I decided to go with it and make them both biracial human characters. That's why I've been having trouble finding the exact shade I want to color their skin. Well, the same goes for human Duke.

- (in our current world translation) Mother's side of the family from Southern Europe. Father's side of the family from Latin America (most likely that or Southeastern Pacific).

- Danny and Ryen's father (aka "Zios") was also biracial.

- I say Fierdan is bilingual because he technically can speak fluently in two languages. It's obvious that the characters speak English, including Fierdan of course. But for certain scenes in future chapters (for past and future events), Fierdan speaks the "phantom" language. He won't speak English when he chants spells (ex. the ritual of reuniting souls). "Phantom" language would most likely mean a combination of Latin and Spanish words. That's why I say part of his nationality could likely be somewhere in Latin America. Besides, I actually know some Spanish, haha. And when I looked up names in 2014 and 2015, I learned the meanings of parts of Latin words. Anyway, I love making myself suffer.

- And of course, I can't leave out how Fierdan and Danny are mentally ill. I was afraid of talking about this for so long when it's about him, but I don't care anymore. Besides, he would finally get proper help (at least to some degree) in the human world since he obviously can't in the Jamaa world. So to be specifically for Fierdan, he grows used to Soulless's abuse and manipulation for many years. When he lives in Cincernum, he hates himself for his actions so much that he thinks it's normal for Soulless to hurt him. Fierdan gets attracted to Soulless's abuse and actively goes to them in order for him to feel pain. Because Fierdan believes he deserves pain. Fierdan knew and grew up with pain all his life. A life without intense physical and psychological pain is a foreign concept to Fierdan.

- Later on when Fierdan is Post-Fierdan, he clearly shows symptoms of PTSD or C-PTSD. I'm hoping to start going into hints for it in Chapter 75. I know it's probably bad for me to say things like this about him since you only see him as a killer of many people. But the main reason I say he is that is because his long traumatic event was living in Jamaa with an abuser called Soulless who would possess his mind and body, and he killed people. Fierdan/Post-Fierdan gets messed up very badly because he knows about his actions. And how he was taken advantage of ever since he was a little kid. Soulless violated him and torn out his humanity and sanity. And even before Jamaa, Danny never had the best familial support. Very far from it.

- And as Post-Fierdan Danny, he gets sadly messed up by thinking about his Fierdan identity and the actions he committed to become human Danny again. He basically kills Duke, which is a part of himself. And then of course there's the whole thing about how Ryen (his older brother) secretly created Soulless. So his brother has a connection to the "person" who abused and violated his body for so long.

- Danny gets nightmares often. He visualizes bad things from the past, even when he's safe in the human world. He falls apart time and time again. He flashbacks again and again. He feels uncomfortable being closely around Stella (Twinkle) and Dawn for a while.

-X- -X-

Dawn:

- (in our current world translation) She has family from Central and Southern Europe.

- I know this is ridiculous, but I either picture Dawn being panromantic or on the aromantic spectrum. I could say the same for her sexual orientation.

- This could be because of her past. It's messed up. This girl deserves a break.

- I don't know what to clearly name any possible mental illnesses she has except for maybe PTSD like Danny but shown in different ways.

- However, she has repressed memories. Despite Dawn currently being the character with the best memory, she repressed some very bad and private memories. They've never been brought up before, so you won't know anything about them. But I guess the only hints of them are from what Fierdan told Fauna in a recent chapter. Because Fierdan regained some memories about his life with Dawn before Jamaa. Dawn refused to regain those memories back, but Fierdan didn't. Fierdan knows. Dawn doesn't. Perhaps he would tell Dawn them at some point.
-X- -X-

That's all I'll say for this post.

Bye! <3

~ Cutepups ☆

Duke and Fierdan Skit: Hunt for Cryptids

Here's the third part of the skit series I started that are about two topics:

1. Blogging
2. Cryptids

Don't mind me being a fool. Suggested lines of stuff. What does this say? I don't know.

Ok, let's go! ;D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[It is 4 am on a Tuesday. Most of the characters are humans. Duke and Fierdan are walking in a forest on the hunt for cryptids.]

Duke: I'm getting tired.
Fierdan: No. You're not tired.
Duke: Actually, I am.
Fierdan: No, you're not.
Duke: You don't know me!
Fierdan: *tightens grip of flashlight* Do you see anything?
Duke: I told you this a thousand times. I don't see any cryptids.
Fierdan: *waves picture of cryptid in front of Duke* Including this one?
Duke: *sighs* Yes, including that one.
Fierdan: You need more light in your eyes.
Duke: What--
Fierdan: *puts both his hands on Duke's shoulders to make Duke face him directly*
Duke: Excuse me? I can turn around on my own.
Fierdan: I thought you said you were tired.
Duke: That doesn't mean you can t--
Fierdan: *raises eyebrow*
Duke: Never mind. I'm not going there.
Fierdan: Oh okay. *suddenly raises flashlight in front of Duke's eyes*
Duke: Ow, what the hell! My eyes are burning!
Fierdan: *not moving flashlight* Thought you said nothing could hurt your eyes more than what he did to you.
Duke: He practically burned my eyes out! That doesn't mean this doesn't hurt!
Fierdan: Now you have light in your eyes. Perhaps you can see better in the dark now.
Duke: That's not how it works. *leaps up in the air and makes Fierdan drop the flashlight with a back kick*
Fierdan: You're so extra.
Duke: *standing on the ground again* That's right. I sure am.

[Ten minutes later.]

Fierdan: Oh, almost forgot something.
Duke: What.. your sanity?
Fierdan: Shut up, you.
Duke: Then what?

[Less than a minute later.]

Duke: What are you doing? Gonna walk in this forest naked now?
Fierdan: What gave you that idea?
Duke: Just look at yourself!
Fierdan: You're so stupid. *closes eyes, whispers some words that Duke can't fully hear, connects right index and middle finger and points at his chest*
Duke: Thought you said you couldn't--
Fierdan: *lowers hand and opens eyes* I changed from that point in the story and now after the story in this separate dimension.
Duke: Oh okay.
Fierdan: Do you believe in the multiple realities theory? That there are parallel worlds and separate dimensions?
Duke: Huh?
Fierdan: You should. They're real.
Duke: Like you believe in cryptids?
Fierdan: No. Unlike cryptids, I know the multiple realities theory is a real thing.
Duke: So you don't believe in cryptids anymore?
Fierdan: I never said that. *pinches his shirt and "unzips" the shirt down the middle from top to bottom*
Duke: Didn't know your shirt had a zipper. I don't see one.
Fierdan: That's because there is no zipper.
Duke: Umm.. okay.
Fierdan: I hope this works. *winks at Duke* Or else you would have to deal with a naked Fierdan.
Duke: I hate you.
Fierdan: I hate you, too.
Duke: *rolls eyes*
Fierdan: "unzips each side of his pants from top to bottom, clicks tongue when he goes to "unzip" at his hips both times*
Duke: Stop this.
Fierdan: *with mischievious grin* Okay.
Duke: *looks up and takes deep breath*
Fierdan: *drops his pants to the ground, they cover his feet*
Duke: *looks down again*
Fierdan: *takes his shirt off like it's a vest*
Duke: Damn it, Fierdan.
Fierdan: *waves his right hand in distinct moves from the bottom of his neck to his feet*
Duke: You are a sinner.
Fierdan: *ignores Duke and reveals his body to him*
Duke: *closes eyes and flinches*
Fierdan: Open your eyes. It worked!
Duke: *reluctantly opens eyes*

[Fierdan is now wearing a dark gray T-shirt with a pale green alien face in the center, dark green shorts, fishnet-style leggings, and black combat boots.]

Duke: What the--
Fierdan: Now I'm in my cryptid hunting gear.
Duke: You're so extra.
Fierdan: Do you want to wear something else?
Duke: Uh, no thanks. *walks away from Fierdan in a daze*

[A few minutes later, Duke stops abruptly. Fierdan is a short distance behind him.]

Duke: *lowers his voice* I think I see something.
Fierdan: *tilts head and walks closer towards Duke*
Duke: *walks cautiously forward, starting to crouch*
Fierdan: What is it?
Duke: Shh!
Fierdan: *lowers voice* What is it?
Duke: I.. I think it's a.. a..
Fierdan: A what?
Duke: A dog.
Fierdan: A dog?
Duke: *nods*
Fierdan: *goes next to Duke and looks at cryptid picture*
Duke: Wait, I'm not sure anymore. Look at these footprints. They're huge!
Fierdan: It might be Bigfoot.
Duke: *points ahead at some shrubs* But doesn't that look like a dog?
Fierdan: Perhaps.. *steps forward, flashlight in hand*
Duke: Hmm..
Fierdan: *whispers* I don't think that's a dog.
Duke: It's not?
Fierdan: Nope.
Duke: Then what is it?
Fierdan: It's a cryptid.
Duke: Ours?

[Thirty seconds later.]

Duke: Fierdan?
Fierdan: I.. I..
Duke: Fierdan! *steps forward, points flashlight in front of him*
Fierdan: I can't believe it.
Duke: What is it? What do you see?
Fierdan: *pushes Duke against him* Look!
Duke: Oh.. oh my..
Fierdan: That has to be Bigfoot. He's not walking an ordinary dog. That's not even a dog.
Duke: Whoa..
Fierdan: Bigfoot is walking a Chupacabra.
Duke: Like a human walking their pet dog.
Fierdan: Exactly on point.
Duke: *takes cryptid picture from Fierdan* We didn't just find our cryptid. We found two.
Fierdan: We found ourselves a Chupacabra.
Duke: And Bigfoot.
Fierdan: Yes. Chupacabra and Bigfoot.
Duke: No way..
Fierdan: You and me, Duke. We did it.
Duke: I guess we did.
Fierdan: We sure did. Thank you.

newest art ok lol

First one is the updated version of the sketch I put up a few posts ago.

The rest of them are my drawings from a flockmod chat. I drew them all using my computer mouse.

- A person with a butterfly on their hand.

- Saitama from One Punch Man giving you a thumbs up with his giant punching fist (I guess?).

- Profile view of some random cartoon dude.

I think I'm improving. Lmao.

I'm gonna try and post a new skit later.

It's almost 2 am. Wow, time passes quickly.

Until next post...

~ Cutepups <3

Taking Over

Wow, another art post?!

Uh.. yes.

This time, it's an older piece. I had the sketching and lineart done a while ago, but I colored it today. 

Here's the link to the sketches of the art I'm gonna show in this post and of "Memories of Our Broken Selves": http://thejamaamist.blogspot.com/2017/06/tragedy-boy-danny.html 

Just around a month old. The finished pieces look different from the sketches. Like, well, a lot different. I added in more details.

Well, here it is. :)

So yeah. Here it is.

Little kid Fierdan and Soulless.

I didn't know how to draw Soulless, so I just drew that. Soulless probably doesn't actually look like that in the story.

That's what little kid Fierdan looks like as half-human, half-"fox". In other words, Fierdan loses his physical humanity when Soulless takes over his body.

And here is Soulless taking over Fierdan's body for the first time. Which is also known as possession.

I messed up the lineart very badly at Fierdan's mouth and Soulless's left hand.

Fierdan has no heart. It's just an empty space there. That symbolism though.

The orange around his eyes is supposed to be like the orange blazing light when he turns the color of his eyes to the color of fire.

Gosh, this poor sad and terrified boy. ;-;

Soulless isn't a physical human or fox. They're more like a light smoke colored evil spirit. So it would be hard to draw their true form.

Soulless is taking over Fierdan. Fierdan is trapped to his tragic fate.

Stop hurting him, Soulless! >:(

Just imagine Fierdan crying and screaming. I didn't draw the facial expression that great. Oops.

I think this photo shows the color of his skin better. It's hard to combine colors to get the exact right shade.

Soulless's black lines could be represented as wires or puppet strings. For a long time, Fierdan is Soulless's puppet of melancholy.

Taking over. Possession. Control. Pain. Manipulation.

Fierdan's shirt is ripped everywhere. It wasn't originally black. The black goop of what he later calls Cincernum turned it black.

So yeah. Bye.

~ Cutepups ;^;