ramblings are always fun

......... I really don't know what to title posts like these anymore.

Posts where I talk about so many different things at once.

So yeah. Let's start. :-)

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I woke up at 5 am to color the background of the drawing I posted yesterday.

I like how I made the stars have a yellow glow effect. It looks nice, haha.

If the writing part confused anyone, the little kid is Pre-Fierdan and the young adult on the right is Post-Fierdan.

I really like how I drew him for both parts. I'm kinda proud.

Human Fierdan using orange fire? Wow, that's shocking.

-X-

Because of this ask meme on tumblr, I drew Duke as a human being dressed up as a stereotypical tourist.

I wanted to draw him with those iconic yellow flipflops and sunglasses. It didn't turn out that way though.

I still drew sunglasses.

And well, I might have drew Duke like a girl.

I had so much trouble with the hair omg. Didn't know which hair style to pick.

Not showing that drawing today. Haha no.

-X-

My polls ended.

Only one person voted.

Gosh dang ok.

-X-

Tomorrow is July 4th.

It's been a year since the terrible day in 2016.

America. XD

-X-

I had my first tutoring session with my student today.

I am an awkward fool.

//digs self into ground

Then it went okay.

-X-

Fierdan and cryptids.

Will Duke and Fierdan find the cryptid they're searching for?

Find out in the next skit!

-X-

I love throwing in spoilers into my skits.

It sure is fun.

For me.

Only for me.

Not for you.

-X-

Honestly, guys.. Twinkle's Story is so messed up.

It sure is, kiddos.

Ever since the beginning, it's been about deaths and murders.

Omg what a tragedy.

So many characters die.

This story is cursed, I swear.

My mind shifts from thinking the story is for ages 12+, 13+, 14+, or 15+.

I guess it would make more sense if I used actual profanity in the story.

I really want to though, to be honest. Haha oops.

Like.. the main theme is centered around death.

Future scenes mess with characters psychologically.

There's deaths. Death scenes.

There's killing scenes. Characters are killers.

There's talk about abuse all over the place. More than one kind.

Characters talk about mutilating parts of their body. Characters talk about suicide.

There are chapters that go into detail about torture. There is a lot of mention of blood and body horror.

There are fight scenes. There are violent scenes.

There is so much blood.

Yeah! Fun! :-)

-X-

I was originally gonna post personal poems.

I didn't because I feel uncomfortable turning those thoughts into poems.

I'm not ready to write them artistically. Not yet.

One was going to be about my dreams.

A poem called "Bad Dreams" or something.

Because it would be about the bad dreams I've been having.

I went back to sleep a little after 7:30 in the morning yesterday, and that was probably one of my worst decisions.

I had probably one of the most disturbing and semi-realistic dreams I ever had.

To summarize it, I'm terrified of the future and feel like I'm ruining my life and self all the time.

......... suicide ...........

Yeah. Bad poem. Cursed.

Sorry.

-X-

All of my personal poems are depressing.

Oops.

-X-

But I have a lot more poems about either Fierdan or Duke in mind.

...... blood ......

...... damned brutality .........

Yeah.

-X-

I think about there being a parallel when it comes to Fierdan and Duke and writing things.

By writing things, I mean quotes, poems, and songs.

Duke repeating things Fierdan created.

Unknowingly.

"There's a part in all of us that wants to be free."

And more.

I also think about Fierdan saying and singing things in Latin or Spanish.

Maybe Duke as well.

I like thinking about them speaking in a foreign language.

For reasons. I have reasons.

Fierdan saying certain lines in English makes me feel unsatisfied.

..... creating the fusion of Fierdan and Soulless .......

...... reuniting souls ........

...... psychological trauma .....

-X-

Anyway, I love my boys.

And my girls.

My characters.

..... Duke .......

;-; :"(

-X-

Especially in future scenes.

Duke and the Five Stages of Grief:

Denial. Been on that one for a long while.

But other stages. Oh gosh.

Anger. Acceptance.

Aaaaaahhhhhh.

One being the Anger that comes with the grief.

The other being the Anger that comes with the Acceptance.

Acceptance of what happened in the past.

What happened.. not okay.

Screwed over and over again.

Acceptance of identity.

The truth.

-X-

Might turn parts of that into a writing piece.

Maybe some poems.

-X-