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Monday, November 30, 2015

Very Vague TEO Character Descriptions and Information

Hi guys! Today's a pretty good day. ^-^'

Anyway, I'm bored and in the mood to post this. Look at all the vagueness in this post. 

But first, two questions...

1. Should I make advise (like the ones I put in the previous post) as a weekly posting segment? (Like when I can go on my computer again.. I'm not going to be able to this weekend.. class trip.. busy.). I actually want to do that, but I'm not completely sure yet. Hey, it's finally a decent posting idea!

2. Should I change the blog banner and theme for the winter season and holidays? And possibly make the banner not as Twinkle's Story themed? Like, you know, just make the blog a ton more general? Well, that's what I want to do with this blog anyways.

Well, without further ado, onto my extreme vagueness of explaining TEO character stuff. (Psst, you're not supposed to fully understand.. don't you dare tell me that.. you're supposed to be confused, children. >;D)

. . . . . .

First off, the Extraordinary Others. As of right now, the ones I have down are the following (categorized in Elemental Powers): fire, ice-fire, earth, air, lightning, darkness, water, metal, and illusion. If you have read all 49 chapters that I've posted of Twinkle's Story, you know that Fierdan (Duke, if you still want to call him that) is fire, Dawn is earth, Fauna is air, Ardere is lightning, and that Twinkle is actually ice-fire. 

Just to be clear, the characters that are water, metal, illusion, and darkness (for the most part) are characters that I have never introduced and talked about on the blog before. They are NOT going to be in Twinkle's Story, and they NEVER will. They are only in the sequels. 

Now about the actual Elemental Powers. So anyway, Elemental Powers is a pretty broad term. The four main ones are fire, water, earth, and air. The rest of them fill in the gaps between the main four. For each Elemental Power, there are branches that categorize how the Extraordinary Other (the person who controls their own specific EP) uses the powers it comes with. Let's take Fierdan as an example (since he's the easiest to explain lol). Fierdan's EP (that's just an abbreviation for Elemental Power by the way) is fire. The branches that categorize within each EP are called abilities. So EP does NOT equal ability. One of the abilities in the fire EP is aerial-based (this is the same with Twinkle's). This means one of the abilities is having bird-like wings of fire. There are other abilities too, I just haven't gone down to getting into them yet. 

Now Fauna is the air EP. Wind is an ability in the air Elemental Power. The air EP basically means the Extraordinary Other in control of of the air and sky. It's also tied to a few other Elemental Powers. Dawn, the earth EP, is like the ground and "down to earth" version of the air EP. Instead of controlling above, she controls down to, you know, earth. Ardere, the lightning EP, gives the light half to the air EP; the darkness EP giving the dark half. To make day and night, basically. 

Speed is an ability and not an Elemental Power. In fact, at least half of the Extraordinary Others have speed as one of their abilities for their EPs. 

Oh and there's a reason why half have been in Jamaa, and the other half (or around half anyways) is only in the human world (still got to come up with a name for that universal nation place). I can't tell you why though because I'm a suspicious person. Haha.

Oh and about that, the setting for TEO is several hundred years in the future. It obviously isn't realistic at all. So basically, the human world is many, many years advanced than today. The people have even created Jamaa. Jamaa is this test world that hasn't advanced like the human world. So Jamaa is advanced a bit less than how our world is right now. So to briefly summarize the human world for TEO, it still takes place on planet Earth. But a few hundred years ago, this huge world catastrophe occurred (like this extreme World War) which basically destroyed the majority of the world. So then somehow, the surviving countries joined together to form this huge land mass (idk how lol). So then earth has one universal nation. Haha, I still need to work a lot on the history. Like a lot of work. 

Now for the actual character descriptions. So first, ages. Oh by the way, the darkness EP is Fierdan's brother. So about them, Daniel (aka Fierdan, aka Danny) is four years younger than his brother, the darkness EP. Fierdan (2nd) is actual a few years older than Duke. 17 was the year when Fierdan (in first life.. in Jamaa I mean) started his years of serial killing until his death at age 24. Well, first life death I mean. And when the series takes place, Fierdan (2nd) happens to be 17 years old. Oh yeah, Fierdan and Twinkle are also a few years apart. Mainly so that whole Zios and Mira thing makes sense.. can't explain why.. sorry. So his brother is 21 in the series. 

Twinkle is also 3 years older than Fauna. Oh and bringing back Fierdan and his brother, their relationship is practically the same as with Twinkle and Fauna. Fierdan (with Zios) and Twinkle (with Mira) have the more exciting and intense EPs and abilities because of them, while their siblings (brother and Fauna) have the less intense powers. So instead of being influenced by Zios' powers, Fierdan's brother is influenced by his mother's. And instead of being influenced by Mira's powers, Fauna is influenced by her father's. In the beginning of the series, Twinkle still stays 14 and Fauna stays 11. But they grow older. Of course they do. Um.. yeah lol. 

Oh by the way, in the sequels, I'm making the characters a bit more diverse. Like I'll be creating characters (these might include the new Extraordinary Others) that have different ethnicities (from way back before earth totally changed to form this one universal nation), different disorders/disabilities, and different romantic/sexual orientations (not sure about gender though.. unsure about all of this actually.. but mostly this one though). For example, I'm planning on making Danny's brother an aromantic asexual, the water Extraordinary Other homosexual, and the metal Extraordinary Other either bi or pansexual. Still debating all of this though. And for the disorders, I only really have them down for Danny, and they're all mental ones. But they're all there due to traumatic past experiences (like everything that happened back in Jamaa lol). Oh and I'm not glorifying the disorders in any way, or saying he has them because he killed people. It's more due to the after-effects and causes for doing so. So yeah. 

Translating back to the world of today, the Extraordinary Others (and other characters as well, but I'm just gonna focus on them in this post) also have different ethnicities. Like, you know, what countries their families are from. Even Twinkle and Fauna's is different from Danny and his brother's. It's mainly due to their inferior parents (the girls' father, the boys' mother). So Twinkle and Fauna's nationality is from today's Western Europe, and Danny and his brother's is from either (still undecided on this.. it's because of their mother) eastern Europe or Latin America. But translating back to today's world, they themselves are (North.. United States) American. But in the series, the human world has totally different names of places (and one still actually exists lol). 

Most of the Extraordinary Others are lean built, and the older ones are taller than the younger ones. Brother and Danny have dark eyes and hair and a more tan (but still white though) compared to Fauna and Twinkle who have light eyes and hair and pale skin. Yeah, I'm just giving examples with these four. Because using them is the easiest to explain. Brother is much quieter and humble than Danny as well as taller. Meanwhile Danny is taller than Twinkle, and she's taller than Fauna. Dawn is slightly shorter than Twinkle, and Ardere is shorter than Fauna. I don't know about the rest of the Extraordinary Others though. 

I'm too tired to go any further into this for today. Remember to answer the two questions I asked way back in the beginning of this post. Thanks guys. XD

Peace! 
~ Cutepups :) 


Sunday, November 29, 2015

Personal Life Post

Hello again. This is just another personal post. About, like, my life, my thoughts, my truths.. you know, stuff like that. (Don't worry, this isn't a vent.. for the most part.)

So for this Thanksgiving weekend, I've been hanging out/visiting family relatives (and my two siblings who are in colleges came home too). And honestly, it was fun. I actually did feel happy. For example, today I went to visit some of my Venezuelan cousins who came to the U.S. for some days with my grandma. And yesterday, I visited my cousins (the ones around our ages) with my siblings. And, of course, there being Thanksgiving. Yeah...

And I realized something. Call me stupid, an attention-seeker for so many posts I've made recently.. I don't care (okay, I kinda do.. whatever). When I'm having fun with so much of my family and when it's in a positive environment where everyone's outgoing and themselves, it reflects on me. Because, well, being around all of them made me feel positive after all this time I've been secretly feeling pessimistic. 

I know it's pretty selfish of me to keep on venting about how I think my life sucks. But then again, you know, that's what really bad moodswings that make you feel like you have depression do to you. I also know that not everyone has a fun and supportive family (well, for the most part) like I do. Of course, I'm grateful for that. Yeah, I honestly don't know why I've been venting so much for the past month. 

And when I showed some of my family members my recent poems/writings and drawings. Especially that "Glass World" poem. And then hearing their feedback about it. That.. that just really builds up my self-esteem. It really means a lot to me when my relatives compliment my work (some who work/ed as professional artists, even).

So, the point is, the main reason I've been so down lately is because I've been so lonely lately. But this weekend where I've been socializing with more of my family and relatives that I don't see as often anymore (*cough* colleges and movings *cough*), it made me feel less alone. That people do care a whole lot about me. 

Haha, I don't know where I'm going with this. Just saying, that being around people make me feel less depressed. Like, of course there are some things I can't control. All of them have a focus of what they want to achieve in their future. When I still am highly uncertain on all that. Okay so I've visited a ton of colleges in my lifetime. So I have a brief idea of what majors there are (the sciences and businesses more specifically since that's what my siblings are in, but still). And the only thing that I'm really interested in that doesn't bore me to death like everything else is majoring in something in the art category (like idk, creative writing, journalism, drawing.. you know, the arts). Like, as of right now, that's what I want to do in my life. But the thing is (believe me, I know) getting a job and just living securely is really, really rare as an artist. But yeah, that's what I want to do. And when it's so easy to get a job when you're interested/majoring in a business field (like my brother lol), but you can't stand business classes (I disliked that class in school last year lol). Oh and I'm not that interested in the science or the law or the medical fields either. And when some of my family recommends me to major in a business or law field since it's so much easier to get a job than majoring in an art field, but I don't find any interest in dedicating my life to those two things. It's difficult. (By the way, I have some family members who work in the business and art fields. I know what I'm talking about here.)

Like, I know, I still got some time. But in the long run, 3 years isn't that far down the line. Especially when that's what the majority of my entire family talk about (college and growing up from there). It hurts when I literally am completely unsure about all of that. 

But right now, I'm more stressed about a few of my classes in school. Whether that be due to wanting to be considered "good enough" for advanced classes all the way to other classes being so complicated that I don't think I can stand them (lol oh chemistry how fun). Okay, my stomach faintly hurts because of this. 

Like, okay I don't know. I just start feeling really anxious when I don't fully understand something (especially this time it not being my math class.. for the most part). Like, I am trying. I know I'm smarter than others. But idk, it makes me feel like I'm at 0% since I'm definitely not at 100%. Like, it's all or nothing. Like, when I know I'm not the "best" at the work, I feel like I'm the "worst". Honestly, thinking this way has made me feel depressed. But then as I realized I'm not the only one struggling (yes, we ask for help tons of times), it made me feel better. Now I know that the reasons why I feel depressed and think I actually have depression are pointless. Okay, not pointless. Now I know why I feel that way sometimes, and what triggers me to feel that way (same with anxiety). 

To tell you the truth, I might (and likely will.. heh) regret what I'm saying now and feel stupid tomorrow. So, idk, my feelings are unexpected. Especially since most talk about school makes me feel upset about myself. And just, you know, school. Just school in general. High school. *sigh*

Oh by the way, I told my parents that I've been feeling depressed lately. Yeah, so they know about that. Like, they know I haven't been as happy and social as much as I used to. 

Well, that's basically it. Now have some tips for you guys in case any of you have been feeling how I've been feeling lately. 

1. SOCIALIZE. This is coming from someone who is extremely socially awkward and such an introvert. Believe me, guys. If you've been feeling upset (whether that be physically, mentally, and/or emotionally), talk to someone. Online chatting might not be enough. Talking to someone you know and can trust in real life (IRL) can make all the difference. It makes you feel far less alone. Oh and if you're doubting me, then you're the one who's wrong, not me. It might not be your immediate family, it might not be friends, but please believe me that someone, somewhere cares a whole lot about you. And they're supporting you. And if no one else does, then I do. Even if you have no feelings for other people, I care. Honestly, that's how I am IRL. I've learned it the hard way. There's no point in bottling your feelings up inside yourself just to rot. It's far better to just tell someone. And if you really can't IRL, then please talk to someone online. Support blogs, support websites (like the dawn room.. not my character lol), even me if you really want to. Hiding your feelings away really doesn't solve anything. You are loved. Okay? Okay. 

2. Listen to your favorite music, or listen to some soothing sounds (ex. rain). Like, for me, I've been listening to Twentyone Pilots (and a few other bands). And while listening, I felt kinda better. And besides, listening to some specific sounds has been scientifically proved to make you feel more calm and less anxious (like listening to cats purring lol). Anyway, who doesn't love listening to their favorite songs? I don't know about you guys, but listening to some of my favorite songs motivates and inspires me. Haha, yeah.

3. If it's cold, snuggle up in some cozy blankets and wear comfortable clothes. Maybe even drink a hot beverage as well (lol gotta love some hot chocolate, right? or like tea or something.. idk). And pet your pets or stuffed animals. Um yes, this helps. Uh.. I'm not the only one who does this when I'm upset, right? 

4. Vent. Yeah, just go out and vent. Write down all the reasons why you're upset and then rip it up. Draw a picture and do the same thing. Vent through writing or drawing and post it online. If you feel like you're not ready to go out and tell anyone (IRL) what you're feeling yet, then at least get your feelings out by venting. No one even has to know what you put. No one ever has to see your vents. Believe me, venting is a big help. It really is. 

5. Just do any activity that distracts you from thinking your negative thoughts. Read a book, take a shower/bath, go on a run, do anything you enjoy. Even if you think you're not interested in doing your favorite activities anymore, just do them. Obviously I mean not anything that's harmful of course. It most likely is just negative feelings (ex. depression) that makes you feel not interested in doing activities you like. But please remember, that's not you. You are not your negativity. Your feelings will pass. You'll love your favorite activities again one day. It might not be tomorrow, next week, or next month, but that day will come. You'll feel better. Believe in yourself. You can and you will. 

I hope my lame advise has helped any of you people out there who happen to be reading this. I love you, friends. 

Goodbye.
~ Cutepups <3 



heyo

Hi guys. Gotta make this quick. So um..

I know I've been posting far less posts this month than any other month for this year. Well, ah, you know. Less blogging interest, more active on DeviantArt.. same old, same old. Ha, that's it for the most part.

Oh yeah. I'm alive, I'm okay. Really. Um.. yeah.

I've also been pretty busy these past few days. And today too. Actually, I'm gonna be gone for most of today. Just so all of you know.

I'm also really busy in the next few days coming up. Especially starting on Friday, December 4th. Just telling you all now, don't panic if you suddenly don't see me on here or DA or any other sites you know me on, starting on the 4th. Because I'll be away, and I'm unsure if I'll even have time to check those things. Like, the internet I mean. I probably will, but I'm saying this just in case.

Bye guys. <3
~ Cutepups

Friday, November 27, 2015

Glass World

(I was typing a post for an hour a few hours ago. But Blogger deleted all of it, even though I saved it. Sorry guys, I don't have the motivation to retype all that up again. Sorry you'll never know what I said in that post. Hope you fellow Americans had a fantastic Thanksgiving!)

So anyway, I wrote a poem on DeviantArt. I love it so much, so I feel like sharing it on here as well. It's pretty long just to warn ya. Hope you like it! ^-^'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Glass World

You and I are fragile
One wrong step and we'll break
One wrong move and we'll shatter
Breaking not just ourselves 
But everyone and everything
One wrong move, one wrong step
And the world breaks around us
Forced to be perfect in this imperfect world
This pressure is too much for me
This pressure of having to be perfect 
One wrong move and the world
Shatters into a million pieces
You and I live in this glass world

One step out of place
A thousand eyes stare at you
Giving you criticizing glares
Oh no, one mistake
Down you go
Into the abyss, out of sight
And you become gone, gone, gone
Until you're simply nothing anymore
Stay in line, bow your head
And most importantly
Don't break the glass

You and I are fragile
Confused beings in this world
Be noticed and you're safe
Be ignored and you're not
Stay in line and you're safe
Step out and down you go
Into the abyss, out of sight
Obey the impossible laws
Society forces upon us all
Obey the laws
In our colorless, expressionless
World of glass

Two worlds are in our heads
One fire, one ice
Burn down the glass 
Paint your own unique colors
Be your own person
Stabilize the walls
Add more support to the glass
Fire melting 
Ice rebuilding
This battle rages on and on 
In our blank minds
What's right
What's wrong
No one knows
Always too scared to try
To take a stand
To bring our lives back

We are not dolls
We aren't made to be 
Colorless, expressionless, the same
We might be fragile 
But so is this world
Break us, break the world
We've had enough of playing
This little game in this glass world
Set fire to the ice
Watch it melt 
Watch the water drown 
This world of glass
Set the world on fire
Watch the walls crash down
Watch the transparent walls fade away
And reveal that thing we missed for so long
That rainbow in the sky
Colors, colors surrounding us once more
Bringing us to life

Darling, it's okay
To feel frightened
To want to hide under your bed
Only wanting to shut the world out
It's okay to take off your armor
No one's strong forever
Even though we burned down the glass
You and I are fragile
No matter what happens
You and I are fragile
That won't ever change
But don't you fear
It's okay to feel the way you do
Because it shows that you
Exited the glass world 
Left it all behind
And it means that
You are alive
And survived through living in 
The glass world 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I own the poem. You don't. Haha, yes. 

Bye guys!
~ Cutepups <3

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Twinkle's Story: Chapter 49

*Hello, I am back with a new chapter! It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, it's more of a chapter so I can try to fully go out of writer's block. I think I'm on it still mostly because I don't like the criticism that much either, and I know all the writing/story flaws already. It's hard fixing them, you know. I hope I improved to some extent with this chapter. I'm typing this on my iPad, so the names won't be in the different distinct colors until I get the chance to go on my computer (which I can't today and possibly for the next few days too). I'm trying my best...*
*Soulless also uses they/them/their pronouns. Sorry for all the posting and commenting confusion as well.*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

FIERDAN

"Do you remember our agreement? The agreement you agreed to, my sweet Fierdan? Remember it? How about now?" Soulless sneers in my ear as they hold me up by these pale purple strings. They tie underneath my arms as if I'm a freaking puppet. Of course that demon, that darn Soulless, uses the phantom powers they gave to me against myself right now. Despite feeling my armpits stinging because of those darn strings, I still glare into those huge white eyes. Even though Soulless is hanging me, by my freaking arms, a few feet above the ground swinging me back and forth in front of their face, I don't allow anyone to see any sign of weakness in me. 

I know I'm weaker than weak without Soulless possessing my mind and body. Soulless, they're the only reason I appear strong and menacing around others. That's how I appear when Soulless makes it possible for me to escape from the deepest and darkest part of hell where not even a crimson blood fire can be kindled. But here in Cincernum with just the two of us, with the possibility of another person living or dead seeing us being impossible, Soulless lets go of me. This is the only place where Soulless lets go. 

There's only one person who I can show my true weakness to. That person's name is Fierdan. Anyone besides myself, I don't allow them to be aware of my weaknesses. At least not under my consent. But when I can help it, I don't even give Soulless the satisfaction of seeing me weak. Nobody deserves to see the real me. Nobody deserves to know how weak and fragile I am. Nobody at all, especially that savage Soulless forced me to make nearly fifteen years ago. No matter how weak I really am, I must always be stronger than Duke. To keep him at bay, to be able to secretly kill him without Soulless knowing.

Yes, to be able to kill Duke. Now that would be such a shame for Soulless. Such a huge shame indeed. Because if I make Duke kill himself, we'll both finally be free. If Duke dies, that puppet Soulless made of me in a newer form, then Soulless dies as well. I wish more than anything to be there witnessing Soulless dying. Finally weak, begging me for mercy as I make Duke kill himself and Soulless. To at long last witness Duke slaughter Soulless. No, I won't be the one doing any killing. I'll just be there watching Duke do all the killing. The demon's puppet killing his master. 

As Soulless swings me back and forth, I think about my secret plan for killing them. That's how I'm not falling into the depth of weakness. Even when Soulless starts whipping me with their bolts, I don't fall into the trap. Soulless is awaiting me to give in, to cower in fear of them, to admit defeat. But all I do is smirk. 

"The agreement, Fierdan! The DUKE agreement, Fierdan! The agreement that makes it unknown that you really are just a sick, puny, worthless--"

"The agreement that will cause the ending of both you and Duke, Soulless. The agreement which will cause the end of you, Soulless. You really don't know," I spit at Soulless, "what I'm capable of. You will regret every, single, darn thing you did to me."

I can't wait for that day. The day I cause the deaths of my two outside demons. But even when they die, the demons in my head stay. Because those demons, they're trapped in my head forever. And they won't ever escape. Those thoughts of wanting to die, those thoughts of guilt after murdering person after person, those thoughts of resentment... They stay with me as long as I'm not 100% dead.


DAWN

Breathing heavily we face each other. Startled by the sudden shift in his eyes, the shimmering light in them running across both eyes, I hesitantly take a step back and gulp. That look, I remember that look all too well. No, it's not the look of lust, not homicide either. I take another step back and then stand frozen in place. I have that look in his eyes memorized, that look of enduring pain that hurts more than anything that could be considered physical pain. It's the look of knowledge, of memory. The look that brings both of us horror.

As I see him raise his right index finger to point at me, I try to focus on his stomach. Despite now knowing, he is still breathing, still alive. Lost a drastic amount of weight too, even though I told those two guys I bribed to give him scrumptious meals and a luxurious place to spend the nights. But it doesn't take a genius to know why. Venturing all this way from deep within Jamaa's fox territory, starving himself for that girl he calls Twinkle, that night I saved his life from heatstroke.

Giving up on averting my eyes to avoid his, I look back up. Our eyes meet instantly, no point in avoiding his gaze now. My heart thumps in my chest as I hear him speak, suddenly barely audible.

"How could you? How could you remember and not--"

Before thinking things through, I interrupt. "It was to protect you, Danny! I gave Calliah that antidote, so you wouldn't have to remember that... that place. It wasn't Zios in Jamaa who forced the last remains of your memory out! It was all me! I never wiped my memory, so I never forgot my name from that other place. My universal name is Dawn. I'm a key member in this special, extraordinary group. I vowed with the rest of them, the Others out of Jamaa, to be aware of the happenings of both worlds. I vowed I would keep a close account with the son of the smartest scientist of our time, Doctor Zios. I vowed I would protect him at all costs, even one of my lives. I'm on my second... Twinkle as well. Yours run a bit different though. My specialty in my Elemental Power is herbology, studying every plant and making them all possible potions. The mint tea I give you is one of them, the paste I gave you to save yourself from that heatstroke is another one. The way I'm always so clever and never give anything away is because I'm a witch. The type that works with herbal magic, not riding a broomstick or anything. Wait, no... You aren't Fierdan's second life. He's in Cincernum now, that was always his second life. Yeah, all three of us are on our second. You're just that puppet he created with his magic, a puppet that acts as if its his reincarnation... with a bomb inside your heart. No, not a bomb. More like a battery and a code. Maybe a key as well. Duke, you're like Fierdan's second life. You have the same looks for the most part and thoughts. But those thoughts get delivered. If you really are Fierdan's second, there wouldn't be a need for that. He's just doing that because he magically created you. You're a puppet version of Fierdan's second. Duke was the name he gave his puppet so it wouldn't be aware of the connections at first. You were never truly alive, a living being. It all ties in with that memorywipe antidote I created for you. I... I'm sorry I've been keeping all of this from you for so, so long. It was only to protect you, but now I know I can't keep you blind from all the truths forever."

After blurting all that out, I finally take a breath. Still staring into Duke's eyes, I observe the look is far less hostile. It's more of regret now. I let out a small smile as I hear him stutter.

"T-Thanks," he says awkwardly, suddenly wrapping his arms around me in a hug. Not that type of hug where it's driven by lust and followed by locking lips. It's that type of hug that shows love hundreds of times stronger than that other kind we just recently stopped doing ourselves. "Thanks for telling me, Dawn. But..."

"Yeah?"

"I was right about knowing you work for them. So... So I assumed wrong on which side you work for? Because you, um, work with the Others and not... you know, them."

"Yeah, I work with the Others... just like how you and Twinkle do. Well, Fierdan if you want to be technically correct about it. We all work in secret, in this secret base no one besides ourselves know about, in the other world. We use our Elemental Powers as if each one of ours is a part of a puzzle. The puzzle that will save us and everyone else from more corruption. The Others, we are the only brave citizens left. Citizens brave enough to oppose the government, know it's corrupted, to rebel in silence. Twinkle's sister is another Other, so is your brother. Um... I mean Danny's. We are the last hope."

As Duke stutters, "B-But... But..." and stops hugging me, I notice his eyes look hollow and dead inside. He walks over to the pile of clothes and hastily puts on the black shirt. He drags his feet across the sandy ground, his jacket dragging behind him. 

He doesn't look like he's gonna stop by me. When he comes into hearing distance, I murmur, "It's alright, Duke Fierdan. I wouldn't mind too much if you have your revenge. I don't have anything to lose by losing another life."

His ears perk up for those few seconds it takes for me to say those words, and then he lowers them again. When he passes by me on my other side, he mumbles, "You're right, Dawn. I want to escape so badly. I want to escape from not knowing what's real and what's fake. I can escape and I will. Goodbye."

I stand there just staring at him heading for the horizon. My eyes still stay fixed on him when he's just a speck on the horizon. I grab the red clothes from the ground, and look back in the direction of the horizon. 

When the sun finally hits the horizon, bursting it with a warm orange and pink blur that towers way in front of Duke, those distinct fiery orange wings shoot out through his black shirt. 

Then he walks even closer to the horizon, so he appears wrapped in the sun's colors. I blink and realize that there's a slight cliff there. And Duke walked straight past its edge. 

I widen my eyes as I see him step out of the orange and pink blur. He's just standing directly in front of it. Those wings spread out on either side of him flapping very quickly and way smoother than any bird's. 

Then I see this small black bird fly in front of Duke's face. It lands on Duke's nose, keeping its little wings spread out. Tiny black feathers scatter all around the bird, the wind blowing them in Duke's face.

As realization hits, I smile wide. Night Crow is Fierdan's affiliate. They're back together again. Owner and pet.  


TWINKLE

Worthless, helpless, nothing. You'll never be as amazing as them. You, just, suck. Stop thinking you're a special snowflake. You're a mistake. Everyone's better than you. You should just die again, and again, and again. Do it...

I shut my eyes even tighter, and I place my paws over my ears. I scream so loudly that I think the walls of this room might cave in and fall down in any second. "STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M NOT GOING BACK TO HOW I WAS BACK THEN!"

Then suddenly, all at once, I hear that other voice in my head vanish. That voice I know all too well. It's the voice that drove me into a severe episode of depression. It's the voice that forced self-harm onto me. I cringe as I remember that time I did, and my blood dropped onto the paper that was already soaked in my pathetic tears. It was such a stupid thing to do, nevertheless bringing the paper, that awful poem to school. But in detention that day, it was the first time Duke acknowledged my existence. Well, it was the first time he actually talked to me. I think he might have been crushing on me back then too. My stupid field trip accident that brought me to a hospital likely made Duke not able to keep his feelings to himself anymore. Those feelings about me... How have I never noticed that way he kept on flashing me looks in history class? We went on the field trip for that class. Miss Fox was our history teacher, the kindest and youngest teacher in the entire school. That class was my favorite. I kinda miss those days. Everything was much simpler back then.

She's dead. The voice says all of a sudden. Just like how you should be. Stupid, stupid girl.

"GO AWAY!" I shriek. 

Haha, I'm in your head. I can't just leave.

"OUT!"

After waiting a few minutes and not hearing that voice again, I murmur, "I've gotta admit it. I actually do kinda miss you, mom and dad."

I take my paws off my ears and open my eyes. My heart skips a beat as I hear this scuffling noise by the door to the room. I don't actually know why I never exited the room. The door is right there and all. Then I hear a crash right outside the room. Before I can go open the door and investigate what's going on, it opens. I gasp as I see who it is. 

I watch the golden wolf pup struggle to hold on while leaning on the open door. Foxes are the only animal that can casually walk on just their back paws, their feet. When the wolf pup regains his composure, he stares right up at me. He looks familiar from somewhere... but at least three times bigger. Wait, all other animals grow up many times faster than foxes. His head reaches my hip when he stands upright. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence with us just staring at each other's face, he breaks the silence. "Hello again, Twinkle. Our first meeting must've been fate or something, haha."

I stare blankly at him. I totally forgot if I told him my name or not. I just shrug that thought off as he continues, "Oh wait, you don't know me, don't you? My apologies, I'm Ardere. Or, like, you can just call me the Other with the lightning Elemental Power."

I still stay silent. 

"Um... Ardie's good too. Whatever floats your boat I guess. I have no idea what type of boat though. Yeah so how ya doing?"

I speak at last. "How..."

Ardere perks up an ear. "What did ya say, Twinkle?"

I clear my throat. "How did you find this place? This place is basically on the other side of fox territory. Don't tell me you just crossed over the entire fox territory without getting caught. You're in so much trouble you know."

He just chuckles. "And you're not gonna ask me on how me, a wolf, has an Elemental Power while every other one in Jamaa is a fox. Wow, you're pretty strange, even for a fox."

I sigh, exasperated. "Okay fine, how could you, a wolf, possibly have an Elemental Power?" 

He smiles at me. "Why thanks for asking!"

I roll my eyes. Ardere immediately starts explaining. 

"I came into your room, this room anyway, because I've been over... Okay, so I was eavesdropping! Anyway, I heard you having a conversation with Black Rav--"

I widen my eyes. "You know who she is?"

"Yeah so I heard you speaking with Black Raven. And poor you were telling her that you're the worst one of them all, and that your Elemental Power is rubbish. Well, Twinkle, you saying that is rubbish!" 

I blush in embarrassment. "You can't just eavesdrop on people you don't even know, Ardere! That's like stalking or... or..."

"But we both know each other. We've met each other before. Back in the day when I was--"

"Okay, okay! Just tell me how you have an Elemental Power."

"Of lightning," he clarifies and winks. I just roll my eyes again. 

Ardere suddenly gives me a serious look. Well, he tried his best at it anyway. "You are not a flaw, that's why. When I was born in this form, something must have glitched in the system. I was supposed to always be a fox, but I ended up being a wolf. Maybe that's why I get sudden urges to cross over and start a new life in fox territory... if it isn't illegal I mean, haha. So the point I came here now is to tell you something I heard someone say. I completely forgot who because I'm dumb. So, how should I put this? How can I tell you that you're not weak and helpless, but actually strong and epic?"

Ardere closes his eyes, his face deep in thought. After a few seconds, he reopens them. "'Light pairs with darkness, earth pairs with metal, air pairs with illusion, and water pairs with the two fires.'"

"Two fires? What does that mean?" I ask, giving Ardere a suspicious glance. 

"Twinkle, you used to have orange hair, right?" he says as he examines that single strip of orange hair in the rest of my hair that's blue. "And your Elemental Power first exited through your claws, correct? And it exited in this blue aura?"

I nod three times. All three of those things he said were true. I stare at him intently. "What are you hinting at?"

Ardere stares right into my eyes. "Twinkle, what if I told you that your Elemental Power never was ice? Or well, in the way you think it is?" 

I stare right into his eyes. His eyes are the color of warm honey. He's sweet, maybe not an innocent completely good boy, but something tells me he's not lying to me. Everything he's saying is true. All parts of it. Even what he's saying now is true.

"Twinkle, your Elemental Power is one that defies science. You can possess blue flames, one of the only flame colors Duke can't possess. But that's not all. Your flames, unlike Duke's, are freezing cold. They're as cold as ice, maybe even colder than that. Blue light, flames too, are supposed to be thousands of times hotter than any red, orange, purple, or even a black flame. But your flames, your fire, is ice cold. Your Elemental Power is either 50% fire and 50% ice, or you're the first to have brought to our worlds cold fire. Even your bird affiliate, Black Raven, is different than Duke's who is Night Crow. Raven can transform herself into a fox and speak, but Crow transformed from a black goop crow sculpture in Cincernum into an actual real crow. The reason you both have your black birds is because your powers are both aerial. You both have an ability within your Elemental Power to possess wings of your flames, and both of you are related from someone who is very important and came to Jamaa long ago in this spiritual bird form or something like that. I think Zios is the one that's Duke, oh sorry I mean Fierdan's, father, and that Mira is your first life's mother. Zios and Mira have faked a relationship to make others believe they're a couple. But they never were. Oh and don't worry, you and Duke aren't secret biological siblings or anything. Haha."

I have lost all words. I stand, staring into Ardere's eyes, the color of honey, completely speechless. 

The reason my Elemental Power's abilities are so similar to Duke's is not because of some true love fairytale or whatever. It's because we're both two totally different types of the same Element- fire.

But then who is the plain ice?

I'm too shocked to even care. 


Friday, November 20, 2015

Cutepups Usual Crud + Updatios

Yes, yes. I decided to go on AJ. The updates aren't all that horrible. ^w^

But, of course, I must complain about my life crud first. ;D

So, pain. Lots of pain. Like, idk, the internet acting stupid on me earlier today (hopefully not anymore now) to thinking up all those tortuous techniques I have planned for Dukey poo. Wait a second guys, do you think cutting deep into someone's back so deep that it cuts into the spine, having pipes/tube thingies all over someone's body that take away your blood/s, being shackled to a wall in a creepy dungeon-like place, being set on fire and electrocuted several times is tortuous enough? The gore, man, the gore! Haha, viciousness. I mean, "Haha, I'm trash". With that other person manipulating/playing with someone so much that besides that one thing, that someone would have "died" a long time ago. And add on that person telling him mean things because that person is like such a bully. Oh and add on the fact that voices in his head that makes him gradually become more and more insane. Yeah, those are my very vague plans I have for when the torturing chapters begin. >:D

I might post a chapter tonight. I might not. I don't want judging comments because of reasons. Yeah.. idk either.

So anywho, that story part from last post. It's from the sequel of Twinkle's Story. Haha, I use actual swear words in the sequel. Using the fox swears like "poop", "vixen", "gosh darn it", etc. are very irrelevant in the sequels. So anyway, the characters in that little story piece are my (character bae ;-; <3) Danny and (my character fam) Stella.. (Danny is bae). I'm hoping that when I finally type out and post the rest of Twinkle's Story, you'll realize it isn't a "kiddies story". Except if you think gore/brutal violence (not as bad as them professional writers lol), and, you know, all that stuff (yes stuff) is "kiddies friendly". But gah, the ending though. All them deaths though. Them constant thoughts of death. Death, death, death. Yeah.. how lovely. 8D

Danny, due to his past and all them experiences and all the lies, gets to be a very depressed character that constantly begs himself to legitimately die. But since he's an Extraordinary Other which makes him basically impossible to legitimately die, he (and the rest of them) are like this weird type of immortals. And then there's Stella. Stella is a pretty epic character in my opinion. It defies science. In logic. Which there isn't any of. Yes. ^-^

My legs feel weird. Stop hurting, body, gosh darn it omg! >:U

Okay, so the updates! XD

(Note: I'm actually not that happy, this is just like a distraction for me so I can be a little bit more happy. Okay so yeah.)

om my gush artick foxies r heire!!!!1

. . .

Um, are their heads raccoon heads? And their bodies mini arctic wolves'? And their actions are like lame versions of the fox ones. But their heads look so much like raccoon heads. And their tails are so huge. It's just like, "Bam! I slap you in the face with my huge fluffy tail that's stuffed with rocks cuz I'm your toy now. Heuheuheuheuheu!!!!!!1 >8O". Um.. yes? Ah, yes indeed. 

In other words, arctic foxes have to be one of the least creative AJ animals out there. Red pandas would be more creative than this. Because, like, another form of red panda avatar doesn't already exist. Eh, it's just my trashy opinion. No need to hate on my swag trash. *shrugs*

Let's go to the second page now, shall we? 

Nonmembers can finally (FINALLY) change colors of accessories. I tried it out myself (lol I be a nonmember noob.. jk I've been playing since 2012 I ain't new lmao *laughing my awesomeness off*). 

*applauds AJ*

Oh wait, sometime last update or whenever, AJHQ added 100 more clothing slots.

*applauds AJ again*

Oh, so that's where that phone graphic is from. So now Play Wild! is available on iPods and iPhones now as well as iPads.

There are these new pet turkeys. There's also a supposedly new fox minibook in the Chamber of Knowledge. It probably has cool facts in it, and it's interactive, and there's a gift at the end.

I designed a pet turkey. :3
He's all like, "Bruh, bruh! You ain't gonna eat me, right hun? You listening to me, brah? Brah, brah! Gobble, freaking, gobble! >8U"

Yes, that is very accurate.

Starting December 1st, Daily Jamaaliday Gifts are back! It's got to be one of my favorite times to go on AJ. Like, you get a new free gift every day for the whole month of December (except if it was changed to just the 25th.. I forgot.. I don't think so??)!

That also means the Jamaaliday Jam party is coming back again. And oh look, it's an albino Rudolph.

Oh look, that's it. That's all the updatios updates. 

Bye. <3






Quote of the (computer) Post:
Image result for rainy sad quotes
(Skylar Grey <3)
(Image found on Google)

Thursday, November 19, 2015

"It's All In Your Head"

I'm in the mood to type up a short story. Based off of my current feelings and possibly Twinkle's Story/TEO (which it is). Not in the mood for any criticism, I've been on writer's block for a few weeks and I'm tired. Yes, I know I put no actual character names in this short story. Enjoy!~ 

"Do you see them?" he asked her under his breath. They were swarming in circles above both their heads, their gloomy colored skin zooming past his eyes in a blur. 

The girl looked in the direction he had his face turned to. The blades of the ceiling fan whirred past. She looked down from the ceiling and faced him. From the corner of her eye, she saw him staring intently at the ceiling above. "No, I don't see them," she replied and then placed her hand on top of his. He dug his nails into the blanket as she did that. 

With his other hand, he pointed his index finger in the direction of the ceiling. "How can you not see them? They're right there."

She was just staring up at the ceiling with a blank stare. "There's nothing there, it's all in your head."  

The boy suddenly went off the bed. With his back to her, he said monotonously, "That's what they all say. That's what they all want me to believe," he clenched his fists at his sides, "Don't tell me you've stooped down to their level." He faced her, his anxious look replaced by frustration. He pointed at her, then in the direction of the ceiling fan again. "The demons are right there. You see them, don't you?"

The girl stared at the ceiling. She looked down into her lap and whispered, "No, I just can't see the demons. They're all just in your head. You had a ton more traumatic past experiences than me, you know?"

He glared at her. "You still think I'm insane. After all our weeks living here, you still think I'm insane. Even after I killed the bastard, you still think I'm insane. I knew you never fully trusted me."

Stuttering, she said, "N-No, I don't mean it like that. It could be..."

"What? My memories? When I was possessed by that bastard I killed right in front of you? Or is it that I'm that damn word? Different?"

"Being different isn't a bad thing," she whispered. 

Nearly yelling, he said, "I've always been different, and it's never been a good thing. Not even once so don't give me your sympathy crap."

The girl went off the bed. Staring right into the center of his eyes, she replied, "I might haven't been through the terrors you've been through, but don't you dare tell me that I don't know what it feels like to be different."

He rolled his eyes. "And you're completely avoiding the point again."

"Then stop bringing it up," she bluntly said back.

Suddenly, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You don't get it. It's not all in my head. The demons are right there, out in the open. They've escaped my head ever since I killed that damn bastard. But I'm the only one who has acknowledged their existence. You and all of them are blind to what's right in front of you. You are my flame counterpart and the only person I give a damn about, but there will always be things that separate us. You'll never be able to fully understand."

Without waiting for her to say something, he went on. "The demons aren't in my head anymore, but that doesn't mean my head isn't contaminated. Maybe that's how I can see them, maybe it isn't. My thoughts will always be consumed by death. Not just because of what I did in the past, not just that. To tell you the truth, I want death to consume me. I don't care if we're finally out of that hell," he squeezed her shoulder, "those depressing suicidal thoughts never leave. No matter where you go, they will always follow you around. Just like the demons, my demons."

The girl could only reply by saying, "You are so broken. So, so broken."

He grinned at her. "That's right, I'm broken in every way possible. But then again, aren't we all?"

Yeah.. I'll end it there. Not explaining anything about what you just read. Let it be suspicious.. but pretty obvious too. 

Goodbye. <3

~ Cutepups 

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

I'm Done

I'm tired of fighting this battle with you
This battle I thought already ended
You hurt me and I hurt you
We apologized time and time again
But what's the purpose of an apology if you don't mean it?
What's the point of fighting this battle without a purpose?
I'm not even hurt by those words you said
No, not anymore
But now, now guilt has us in its trap
Engaged us in our own separate living hells
I lie wide awake at midnight thinking of you
Distracted from sleep, my studies, from living
With a light and soul, not just a gloomy shadow
Your replies make me feel as if I was lying
About my painful guilt and all the sadness 
It hurts apologizing over and over again
For just that one reason
I'm over it now
Seeing you hurt and apologizing over and over again
Mainly because of me
That pains me the most now
Maybe, oh just maybe
The only solution is to just
Stop, go away
And go our separate ways
Because at least then
We can't hurt each other any more than we already had
We're already too broken to be fixed anyway
No, I'm not saying this because I hate you
I'm saying this because I love you
Friend, I love you so much
All our past memories mean a whole lot to me
But now, now we just end up suffering in silence
Whenever we simply speak to each other
So what if, what if we
Go away until this misery ends
If it will ever truly end
This is the last option I have for us
I would rather have our friendship take a break
Than just watch it slowly die out in agony
Friend, I love you
I never want this friendship to end
I want you to stay, I really do
But we have both suffered long enough 
By reluctantly staying at each other's side
I'm sick of it, sick of it all
I don't know how longer 
Our friendship will last if it continues on like this
I'm done of barely staying alive
I'm done of suffering from this constant battle
You see, this is for the best
This is for the both of us
I love you and I don't want you to go
Oh, friend, I'm so sorry it's come to this
I'm done feeling this way
So please, I beg you to
Don't touch me
Don't talk to me
Just leave me alone
Because I, I'm uncertain
On how much longer I can stay standing
Without falling apart
Can you see my tear-stained eyes, my fragile heart?
Oh how I'm sorry it's come to this
But this is for the best
So we don't break each other apart
Piece by piece until there's nothing left
Until there's nothing at all
Please, oh please just leave me alone
And I'll do the same
Goodbye, friend
I love you
I'll never forget you
We'll return happy again
We will one day
But today
I'm done fighting this battle with you.

For a friend. You know who you are. 

~ Cutepups <3 


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

wow

Hi guys. Thanks for everything. Gonna go ramble about some stuff from today. Meh...

So, I don't know why, but I usually go to sleep at a later time than most people I know (like midnight on school nights lol), but then I wake up before 6 am for school. And I don't even have to. And when I go to sleep at like 1 or 2 in the morning on the weekends, I wake up at like 8 or 9 in the morning. I once woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon not too long ago. Wow, me, wow. I'm strange, I know. Like, I defy logic. 

Just kidding, I'm lame. XD

So, this is where I tell you depressing things again. So in LAL class today, we had to research depression (specifically teen depression.. but it was still pretty general). It was for practicing using this year's school databases and all that media center stuff. So when my teacher finally let us actually start researching ourselves, I went on several websites about depression and treatment options (it's for this mental illness paper, one of which I chose is depression which is a relevant one for the topic of the paper). So at first, I was explaining how those depression facts (like symptoms and treatment options) connect to that book character which we had to do for the paper. So then, time passes by. Then I decide to research depression even more. And, I don't know what happened, I suddenly felt all my positive energy draining from me. Because I know I actually do some of the things said in the symptoms list. Like, not as an exaggeration or complaint this time when I'm just feeling sad. Like, as a usual thing. And then maybe when I occasionally feel so anxious I feel sick, I learned that feeling as if you have anxiety is one symptom of having depression. It says it like, "Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings." So yeah, learning about depression even more made me feel depressed. Yay...

So then when I came home, I felt really tired. So I took a nap. And here's where it gets kinda pathetically funny. So when I woke up, it was a quarter to 6 and it was completely dark outside. So when I looked at my clock, I literally jumped out of my bed and panicked. Then I checked my iPad which was on my drawer next to my bed when I was sleeping. And then I was like, "What the heck, why didn't I change into my pajamas?! Wait, why didn't I charge my iPad?! Oh crap, I didn't do all my homework yet! Why didn't my phone alarm go off?! What about that thing I have to go to on Tuesday nights?! *screams*". Then I looked at the time on my iPad again and realized it said PM and not AM. Because, I wake up at the same time in the morning as I did when I woke up from my nap. Wow, aren't I so incredible? Good, Cutepups, go panic for no reason at all. Pfft... XD

Then my headache became even worse than before I took my nap. :c

So then I did go do my required Tuesday evening activity at that place (such vagueness). And then I became a bit happier again (I still felt down and tired, but I didn't feel as sad for no reason to be by then) because I could talk to my friend who actually is like a close friend to me.. though I can only see her once a week due to reasons. Yay, derpy happiness!

But yeah, I do feel sad for no reason sometimes. Even when the school day isn't even that stressful. Wow, how ironic.

Yes, my mood changes in the weirdest of ways on a daily basis. But when I'm in a happier mood, that just covers up my depressing moods. 

Wow, it's already 11:20-something. When did the time fly by? 0.0

Well, I still do feel tired. Like I always do...

Bye guys. <3

~ Cutepups

Monday, November 16, 2015

shrugs

Meh...

Hi guys. I just wanted to admit some stuff. About whatever. So yeah, let's start!

I know I asked this question on DeviantArt already. But I want to know what you blog commenters and viewers think as well. So anyway, do you guys see me as just a nice blogger, a friend (not mutual or acquaintance- an actual friend), or a role-model? I'm just curious and want to know how you guys see me. ^-^'

I know I don't know all of you that well, but gah.. You guys are incredibly nice, and I love you all. <3

Well, also because I have to know if I'm just too attached to all of you. It's okay if you don't see me as an actual friend, I won't mind, as long as you're being honest. Kindly honest. Because I learned the hard way that some people I refer to as my "friends" don't see me in the same way.

Ha, do friends even exist with me? Without them suddenly drifting away and leaving me?

Oh sorry, still kinda upset about some things. I don't want to bring it up any further; if you know about it, don't bring it up; if you don't, don't ask.

So on another topic, I know some of you guys see me as smart, interesting, and funny. Well, I really do love all the compliments, but I really can't say I really have those characteristics. Sure, when I'm in a good mood and post, my posts can be interesting and funny. But honestly, I've got to be one of the most boring girls I know. I'm not interesting or funny.. I'm dead inside. Oh and smart? Maybe because I'm a few years older than you, but really, I'm not smart. School-smart and street-smart. Well, I kinda am.. sort of. You know what? When you're surrounded by everyone you're close with who's smarter than you, it.. well, it's annoying. I'm not smart, I'm stupid, okay?! I recently discussed with somebody.. I can't keep up these lies anymore!

Oh by the way, I'm anxious and depressed (freaking feelings :/) again.

Okay so, I keep on lying to all of you basically. And I'm sorry. I put happiness to cover up my sadness way too many times. Ugh, I can't keep this up anymore, guys! I don't know, I just don't want to hurt any of you by the truths. I'm sorry I'm like this.

So first off, the blog. You should be thankful I haven't actually deleted it. Be glad it's still here.. though some gadgets are not anymore.

Secondly, I have been pretty close to deleting/quitting Twinkle's Story so many times recently. The writing just embarrasses me to death, causes some of my paranoia/anxiety, and has way too many contradictions that even confuse myself. I was pretty close to ripping up all those papers I story-planned on. Be glad I actually didn't do that.

Before you ask why, I'll just explain why now. I've been feeling depressed and frustrated with myself for so long now, and just about after every single post, I feel embarrassed and regret making it. Honestly, all of this is a joke. This blog, my story-writing, it's embarrassing. I knew it far, far before any of you pointed it out to me. I also am just not interested in blogging. By now, it's just a drag. Every blogging topic I can think of is not that interesting to me anymore. Except me just rambling on about crap. Heck, maybe I do want to quit everything. Maybe I will some day.. for real. And maybe I won't.. though I doubt it.

Oh and remember that poem in that weird dream I had? I think it went like this..?
I don't know why
But I want to die
Ok bye. </3
Well, maybe that girl in the dream symbolizes something. Maybe there isn't any symbolism.. though I doubt it. Ever since that dream, that poem has been replaying in my head time and time again.

Not, like, die. Like restart everything, fade away from the world.. idk. I always screw up something. I feel like I'm failing on just living life. No, no, no. I don't want to die or any of that. I just want to hide away with my pets and.. sleep. Oh wait, I barely got any sleep last night (paranoia creeping in again).

Hahahahaha, I'm totally fine! :))))))

Well, I'm actually not completely fine.

If you just came here to comment an essay-length speech, then just saying it now. Don't talk to me. I'm not in the mood, and I'm just tired of all this.

Oh and I was story-planning a few days ago as well. I love Ardie so much, my broken boy.. so broken. ;-;

Yeah, I don't get it either. I want to throw away Twinkle's Story, but I'm also excited for upcoming story events! Though my story-writing always ends up embarrassing me. And is just crap.

Since I don't post daily much anymore (I've had thoughts of quitting the blog for crying out loud), I don't know when I'll make a new post. Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, Friday..? I have no idea. It all just depends really.

Oh and please don't feel sorry for me. I don't deserve your pity.

Until next time our paths meet,






And now for the quotes I found on Google. <3 ;-; 

Image result for anxiety quotes
Image result for depressing quotes

Yeah, thoughts...

'Night.