Twinkle's Story: Chapter 49

*Hello, I am back with a new chapter! It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, it's more of a chapter so I can try to fully go out of writer's block. I think I'm on it still mostly because I don't like the criticism that much either, and I know all the writing/story flaws already. It's hard fixing them, you know. I hope I improved to some extent with this chapter. I'm typing this on my iPad, so the names won't be in the different distinct colors until I get the chance to go on my computer (which I can't today and possibly for the next few days too). I'm trying my best...*

*Soulless also uses they/them/their pronouns. Sorry for all the posting and commenting confusion as well.*

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FIERDAN

"Do you remember our agreement? The agreement you agreed to, my sweet Fierdan? Remember it? How about now?" Soulless sneers in my ear as they hold me up by these pale purple strings. They tie underneath my arms as if I'm a freaking puppet. Of course that demon, that darn Soulless, uses the phantom powers they gave to me against myself right now. Despite feeling my armpits stinging because of those darn strings, I still glare into those huge white eyes. Even though Soulless is hanging me, by my freaking arms, a few feet above the ground swinging me back and forth in front of their face, I don't allow anyone to see any sign of weakness in me. 

I know I'm weaker than weak without Soulless possessing my mind and body. Soulless, they're the only reason I appear strong and menacing around others. That's how I appear when Soulless makes it possible for me to escape from the deepest and darkest part of hell where not even a crimson blood fire can be kindled. But here in Cincernum with just the two of us, with the possibility of another person living or dead seeing us being impossible, Soulless lets go of me. This is the only place where Soulless lets go. 

There's only one person who I can show my true weakness to. That person's name is Fierdan. Anyone besides myself, I don't allow them to be aware of my weaknesses. At least not under my consent. But when I can help it, I don't even give Soulless the satisfaction of seeing me weak. Nobody deserves to see the real me. Nobody deserves to know how weak and fragile I am. Nobody at all, especially that savage Soulless forced me to make nearly fifteen years ago. No matter how weak I really am, I must always be stronger than Duke. To keep him at bay, to be able to secretly kill him without Soulless knowing.

Yes, to be able to kill Duke. Now that would be such a shame for Soulless. Such a huge shame indeed. Because if I make Duke kill himself, we'll both finally be free. If Duke dies, that puppet Soulless made of me in a newer form, then Soulless dies as well. I wish more than anything to be there witnessing Soulless dying. Finally weak, begging me for mercy as I make Duke kill himself and Soulless. To at long last witness Duke slaughter Soulless. No, I won't be the one doing any killing. I'll just be there watching Duke do all the killing. The demon's puppet killing his master. 

As Soulless swings me back and forth, I think about my secret plan for killing them. That's how I'm not falling into the depth of weakness. Even when Soulless starts whipping me with their bolts, I don't fall into the trap. Soulless is awaiting me to give in, to cower in fear of them, to admit defeat. But all I do is smirk. 

"The agreement, Fierdan! The DUKE agreement, Fierdan! The agreement that makes it unknown that you really are just a sick, puny, worthless--"

"The agreement that will cause the ending of both you and Duke, Soulless. The agreement which will cause the end of you, Soulless. You really don't know," I spit at Soulless, "what I'm capable of. You will regret every, single, darn thing you did to me."

I can't wait for that day. The day I cause the deaths of my two outside demons. But even when they die, the demons in my head stay. Because those demons, they're trapped in my head forever. And they won't ever escape. Those thoughts of wanting to die, those thoughts of guilt after murdering person after person, those thoughts of resentment... They stay with me as long as I'm not 100% dead.

DAWN

Breathing heavily we face each other. Startled by the sudden shift in his eyes, the shimmering light in them running across both eyes, I hesitantly take a step back and gulp. That look, I remember that look all too well. No, it's not the look of lust, not homicide either. I take another step back and then stand frozen in place. I have that look in his eyes memorized, that look of enduring pain that hurts more than anything that could be considered physical pain. It's the look of knowledge, of memory. The look that brings both of us horror.

As I see him raise his right index finger to point at me, I try to focus on his stomach. Despite now knowing, he is still breathing, still alive. Lost a drastic amount of weight too, even though I told those two guys I bribed to give him scrumptious meals and a luxurious place to spend the nights. But it doesn't take a genius to know why. Venturing all this way from deep within Jamaa's fox territory, starving himself for that girl he calls Twinkle, that night I saved his life from heatstroke.

Giving up on averting my eyes to avoid his, I look back up. Our eyes meet instantly, no point in avoiding his gaze now. My heart thumps in my chest as I hear him speak, suddenly barely audible.

"How could you? How could you remember and not--"

Before thinking things through, I interrupt. "It was to protect you, Danny! I gave Calliah that antidote, so you wouldn't have to remember that... that place. It wasn't Zios in Jamaa who forced the last remains of your memory out! It was all me! I never wiped my memory, so I never forgot my name from that other place. My universal name is Dawn. I'm a key member in this special, extraordinary group. I vowed with the rest of them, the Others out of Jamaa, to be aware of the happenings of both worlds. I vowed I would keep a close account with the son of the smartest scientist of our time, Doctor Zios. I vowed I would protect him at all costs, even one of my lives. I'm on my second... Twinkle as well. Yours run a bit different though. My specialty in my Elemental Power is herbology, studying every plant and making them all possible potions. The mint tea I give you is one of them, the paste I gave you to save yourself from that heatstroke is another one. The way I'm always so clever and never give anything away is because I'm a witch. The type that works with herbal magic, not riding a broomstick or anything. Wait, no... You aren't Fierdan's second life. He's in Cincernum now, that was always his second life. Yeah, all three of us are on our second. You're just that puppet he created with his magic, a puppet that acts as if its his reincarnation... with a bomb inside your heart. No, not a bomb. More like a battery and a code. Maybe a key as well. Duke, you're like Fierdan's second life. You have the same looks for the most part and thoughts. But those thoughts get delivered. If you really are Fierdan's second, there wouldn't be a need for that. He's just doing that because he magically created you. You're a puppet version of Fierdan's second. Duke was the name he gave his puppet so it wouldn't be aware of the connections at first. You were never truly alive, a living being. It all ties in with that memorywipe antidote I created for you. I... I'm sorry I've been keeping all of this from you for so, so long. It was only to protect you, but now I know I can't keep you blind from all the truths forever."

After blurting all that out, I finally take a breath. Still staring into Duke's eyes, I observe the look is far less hostile. It's more of regret now. I let out a small smile as I hear him stutter.

"T-Thanks," he says awkwardly, suddenly wrapping his arms around me in a hug. Not that type of hug where it's driven by lust and followed by locking lips. It's that type of hug that shows love hundreds of times stronger than that other kind we just recently stopped doing ourselves. "Thanks for telling me, Dawn. But..."

"Yeah?"

"I was right about knowing you work for them. So... So I assumed wrong on which side you work for? Because you, um, work with the Others and not... you know, them."

"Yeah, I work with the Others... just like how you and Twinkle do. Well, Fierdan if you want to be technically correct about it. We all work in secret, in this secret base no one besides ourselves know about, in the other world. We use our Elemental Powers as if each one of ours is a part of a puzzle. The puzzle that will save us and everyone else from more corruption. The Others, we are the only brave citizens left. Citizens brave enough to oppose the government, know it's corrupted, to rebel in silence. Twinkle's sister is another Other, so is your brother. Um... I mean Danny's. We are the last hope."

As Duke stutters, "B-But... But..." and stops hugging me, I notice his eyes look hollow and dead inside. He walks over to the pile of clothes and hastily puts on the black shirt. He drags his feet across the sandy ground, his jacket dragging behind him. 

He doesn't look like he's gonna stop by me. When he comes into hearing distance, I murmur, "It's alright, Duke Fierdan. I wouldn't mind too much if you have your revenge. I don't have anything to lose by losing another life."

His ears perk up for those few seconds it takes for me to say those words, and then he lowers them again. When he passes by me on my other side, he mumbles, "You're right, Dawn. I want to escape so badly. I want to escape from not knowing what's real and what's fake. I can escape and I will. Goodbye."

I stand there just staring at him heading for the horizon. My eyes still stay fixed on him when he's just a speck on the horizon. I grab the red clothes from the ground, and look back in the direction of the horizon. 

When the sun finally hits the horizon, bursting it with a warm orange and pink blur that towers way in front of Duke, those distinct fiery orange wings shoot out through his black shirt. 

Then he walks even closer to the horizon, so he appears wrapped in the sun's colors. I blink and realize that there's a slight cliff there. And Duke walked straight past its edge. 

I widen my eyes as I see him step out of the orange and pink blur. He's just standing directly in front of it. Those wings spread out on either side of him flapping very quickly and way smoother than any bird's. 

Then I see this small black bird fly in front of Duke's face. It lands on Duke's nose, keeping its little wings spread out. Tiny black feathers scatter all around the bird, the wind blowing them in Duke's face.

As realization hits, I smile wide. Night Crow is Fierdan's affiliate. They're back together again. Owner and pet.  

TWINKLE

Worthless, helpless, nothing. You'll never be as amazing as them. You, just, suck. Stop thinking you're a special snowflake. You're a mistake. Everyone's better than you. You should just die again, and again, and again. Do it...

I shut my eyes even tighter, and I place my paws over my ears. I scream so loudly that I think the walls of this room might cave in and fall down in any second. "STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M NOT GOING BACK TO HOW I WAS BACK THEN!"

Then suddenly, all at once, I hear that other voice in my head vanish. That voice I know all too well. It's the voice that drove me into a severe episode of depression. It's the voice that forced self-harm onto me. I cringe as I remember that time I did, and my blood dropped onto the paper that was already soaked in my pathetic tears. It was such a stupid thing to do, nevertheless bringing the paper, that awful poem to school. But in detention that day, it was the first time Duke acknowledged my existence. Well, it was the first time he actually talked to me. I think he might have been crushing on me back then too. My stupid field trip accident that brought me to a hospital likely made Duke not able to keep his feelings to himself anymore. Those feelings about me... How have I never noticed that way he kept on flashing me looks in history class? We went on the field trip for that class. Miss Fox was our history teacher, the kindest and youngest teacher in the entire school. That class was my favorite. I kinda miss those days. Everything was much simpler back then.

She's dead. The voice says all of a sudden. Just like how you should be. Stupid, stupid girl.

"GO AWAY!" I shriek. 

Haha, I'm in your head. I can't just leave.

"OUT!"

After waiting a few minutes and not hearing that voice again, I murmur, "I've gotta admit it. I actually do kinda miss you, mom and dad."

I take my paws off my ears and open my eyes. My heart skips a beat as I hear this scuffling noise by the door to the room. I don't actually know why I never exited the room. The door is right there and all. Then I hear a crash right outside the room. Before I can go open the door and investigate what's going on, it opens. I gasp as I see who it is. 

I watch the golden wolf pup struggle to hold on while leaning on the open door. Foxes are the only animal that can casually walk on just their back paws, their feet. When the wolf pup regains his composure, he stares right up at me. He looks familiar from somewhere... but at least three times bigger. Wait, all other animals grow up many times faster than foxes. His head reaches my hip when he stands upright. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence with us just staring at each other's face, he breaks the silence. "Hello again, Twinkle. Our first meeting must've been fate or something, haha."

I stare blankly at him. I totally forgot if I told him my name or not. I just shrug that thought off as he continues, "Oh wait, you don't know me, don't you? My apologies, I'm Ardere. Or, like, you can just call me the Other with the lightning Elemental Power."

I still stay silent. 

"Um... Ardie's good too. Whatever floats your boat I guess. I have no idea what type of boat though. Yeah so how ya doing?"

I speak at last. "How..."

Ardere perks up an ear. "What did ya say, Twinkle?"

I clear my throat. "How did you find this place? This place is basically on the other side of fox territory. Don't tell me you just crossed over the entire fox territory without getting caught. You're in so much trouble you know."

He just chuckles. "And you're not gonna ask me on how me, a wolf, has an Elemental Power while every other one in Jamaa is a fox. Wow, you're pretty strange, even for a fox."

I sigh, exasperated. "Okay fine, how could you, a wolf, possibly have an Elemental Power?" 

He smiles at me. "Why thanks for asking!"

I roll my eyes. Ardere immediately starts explaining. 

"I came into your room, this room anyway, because I've been over... Okay, so I was eavesdropping! Anyway, I heard you having a conversation with Black Rav--"

I widen my eyes. "You know who she is?"

"Yeah so I heard you speaking with Black Raven. And poor you were telling her that you're the worst one of them all, and that your Elemental Power is rubbish. Well, Twinkle, you saying that is rubbish!" 

I blush in embarrassment. "You can't just eavesdrop on people you don't even know, Ardere! That's like stalking or... or..."

"But we both know each other. We've met each other before. Back in the day when I was--"

"Okay, okay! Just tell me how you have an Elemental Power."

"Of lightning," he clarifies and winks. I just roll my eyes again. 

Ardere suddenly gives me a serious look. Well, he tried his best at it anyway. "You are not a flaw, that's why. When I was born in this form, something must have glitched in the system. I was supposed to always be a fox, but I ended up being a wolf. Maybe that's why I get sudden urges to cross over and start a new life in fox territory... if it isn't illegal I mean, haha. So the point I came here now is to tell you something I heard someone say. I completely forgot who because I'm dumb. So, how should I put this? How can I tell you that you're not weak and helpless, but actually strong and epic?"

Ardere closes his eyes, his face deep in thought. After a few seconds, he reopens them. "'Light pairs with darkness, earth pairs with metal, air pairs with illusion, and water pairs with the two fires.'"

"Two fires? What does that mean?" I ask, giving Ardere a suspicious glance. 

"Twinkle, you used to have orange hair, right?" he says as he examines that single strip of orange hair in the rest of my hair that's blue. "And your Elemental Power first exited through your claws, correct? And it exited in this blue aura?"

I nod three times. All three of those things he said were true. I stare at him intently. "What are you hinting at?"

Ardere stares right into my eyes. "Twinkle, what if I told you that your Elemental Power never was ice? Or well, in the way you think it is?" 

I stare right into his eyes. His eyes are the color of warm honey. He's sweet, maybe not an innocent completely good boy, but something tells me he's not lying to me. Everything he's saying is true. All parts of it. Even what he's saying now is true.

"Twinkle, your Elemental Power is one that defies science. You can possess blue flames, one of the only flame colors Duke can't possess. But that's not all. Your flames, unlike Duke's, are freezing cold. They're as cold as ice, maybe even colder than that. Blue light, flames too, are supposed to be thousands of times hotter than any red, orange, purple, or even a black flame. But your flames, your fire, is ice cold. Your Elemental Power is either 50% fire and 50% ice, or you're the first to have brought to our worlds cold fire. Even your bird affiliate, Black Raven, is different than Duke's who is Night Crow. Raven can transform herself into a fox and speak, but Crow transformed from a black goop crow sculpture in Cincernum into an actual real crow. The reason you both have your black birds is because your powers are both aerial. You both have an ability within your Elemental Power to possess wings of your flames, and both of you are related from someone who is very important and came to Jamaa long ago in this spiritual bird form or something like that. I think Zios is the one that's Duke, oh sorry I mean Fierdan's, father, and that Mira is your first life's mother. Zios and Mira have faked a relationship to make others believe they're a couple. But they never were. Oh and don't worry, you and Duke aren't secret biological siblings or anything. Haha."

I have lost all words. I stand, staring into Ardere's eyes, the color of honey, completely speechless. 

The reason my Elemental Power's abilities are so similar to Duke's is not because of some true love fairytale or whatever. It's because we're both two totally different types of the same Element- fire.

But then who is the plain ice?

I'm too shocked to even care.