Jack x Fierdan pride celebration sketch + water blue boy

Yeah so that's what this post will be about. Hi again. It's me. :)

I wanted to write part 2 of that skit story this weekend, but then... well, shit happened. I didn't feel good physically and mentally. I don't want to talk about it right now. 

Anyway, June is almost over. How did that happen? I don't vibe with the passage of time. :( 

About the skit in the last post, yep. That's right. I ended up turning it into a scene that I could totally see happening between Fierdan (who goes by Danny then, not Fierdan) and Dylan towards the beginning of story 2. Notice what I wrote about C.? Well, haha, that's right. She's that powerful ass bitch. Oh and if anyone got confused about the Fierdan (Danny) touching Dylan part, Fierdan doesn't know that Dylan is trans, and he felt his binder which confused him. Danny boy, you're so oblivious, hahaha. He sees Dylan as a "kid" when he's really at least 18 years old. So Fierdan calling Dylan a "kid" just fueled the fire of his annoyance with him. 

*changes topics* So I was in the shower, and I suddenly got shower thoughts about drawing my characters celebrating pride month. Then a short while later, I started a sketch of Jack and Fierdan celebrating pride together. 

Jack on the left and more in front; Fierdan on the right and more in back. I love this couple. <3

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Damn, aren't they so cute? I love them so much. <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"water blue boy" is Dylan. He's the character with the water Elemental Power. Not ice, water. Water. He is water blue boy. 

Anyway, I'll share some thoughts I have on him. :)

He is either 18 or 19 years old. He has light blue eyes that look like beautiful bodies of water. He has light blond hair that looks like it has tints of pale blue in certain lightings. Oh and he's white. And I think I'm leaning more towards having him be aro bi (aromantic bisexual). 

I also started planning a music playlist for Dylan in my Notes app. The list is short so far. I'm thinking of giving his playlist a more calming vibe than most of my other playlists. I feel like he would like indie music, haha. :')

I've actually been thinking about this character for a while, but I've been hesitant on revealing anything about him. Now I'm like "screw that, I'll do whatever I want" so here we are. 

By the way, I absolutely adore the relationship between Dylan and Stella (Twinkle). They eventually become close friends and help each other out with lots of stuff. Dylan helps Stella with the ice side of her ice-fire Elemental Power, which also helps Dylan grow more confident in his water abilities of his Elemental Power. Stella also ends up confiding in him a lot. She asks him about his journey to accepting his identity, and she admits that she's a questioning mess. By that I mean in terms of gender and sexuality. 

I know I haven't really dived that deep into what happens to Stella following story 1, but to sum it up, meeting Dylan happens. They're so cute. At first Dylan is grumpy and "hates" everyone new to his life, but eventually him and Stella become good friends. Oh gosh, I love them. :'D

Well, those are my updates on water blue boy. The more I find myself discovering more about him, the more I end up appreciating him. His thoughts and feelings might be unpopular, but he still has his right to them. 

In comparison, Jack is more like a boy full of love. Haha yeah, But Jack used to be a cynic, full of anger and wanting revenge. Heck, he roams streets alone, not wanting anyone to get too close to him physically and emotionally. Jack used to be so closed off. I think one of his lowest points was having an overdose on the drug he became addicted to. So yeah, he isn't all sunshine and rainbows. He's had his share of crappy life experiences. 

Oh, one more thing about Dylan. He can be very sarcastic. He just seems like the sarcastic type. The guy who loves sarcasm. Yeah, that's him. 

That's it for this post. Bye for now. 

oh hmm.. it’s them boys (new skit)

Hi lol 

Oh hmm. hmmmmm... hmmmmmmmm............ 

The other day, I found this old post of mine. Haha yeah. 

http://thejamaamist.blogspot.com/2017/12/story-2-only-elemental-power-characters.html

Some things sure have changed. *coughs* Jack... 

Other things haven’t changed that much. Only somewhat. 

What I put down about the metal person hasn’t changed much. I don’t really know much about them yet. I still like the idea of them using metal body armor to enhance their power and abilities. I’m still considering naming them something that starts with an “E” and looks/sounds cool and is a gender neutral name. Oh and they’re black. Uh so yeah. That’s all I have to say about this fella. 

The blue guy on the bottom is supposed to be Dylan, I guess. The words I used to describe him.. lmao this grumpy boy. 

I didn’t even come to a decision on how he looks like (well, his hair color for the most part), but I swear he was in a dream I had. And that dream was so silly and stupid; it kind of felt like a skit I would write with my characters. It gives off my skit vibes. XD 

Just.. appreciate this because I did for some reason lmao: “Cold, hates socializing. ... He is bitter towards Stella (Twinkle) for a while ... He gets annoyed easily. ... Fierdan/Danny gets on his nerves a lot.” idk why but I find that so damn funny. 

The only thing I remember from that dream I had was Dylan and Fierdan arguing in a bathroom, and then Jack (that’s J___ btw) entering the bathroom and walking in on the two arguing. I don’t know what they were arguing about, but I thought it was ridiculous and funny. They’re so dramatic. XD

Oh, I know! I’ll try to create what I dreamt about in skit form. ;D 

[contains profanity]

——————————

[In a bathroom that’s like one in the college dorms. It’s a long bathroom with multiple sinks and bathroom stalls. Why are they in here? I don’t know, just roll with it.] 

Dylan: *minding his business, brushing his teeth, spits into sink, doing the mundane task of brushing teeth* 

Fierdan: *opens the bathroom door, walks toward Dylan and puts his toiletries (I guess?) on the bathroom counter next to the sink that Dylan is standing in front of*

Dylan: *puts his toothbrush and toothpaste away (omg this sounds so boring), sighs an annoyed sigh* Oh, it’s you. *rolls his eyes as he turns to face Fierdan* What do you want? 

Fierdan: *shrugs and goes to stand in front of the next sink over from where Dylan is standing* 

Dylan: *mutters under his breath* Can I ever get a break from you? Danny this, Fierdan that... *adjusts a strand of hair so it’s no longer sticking up awkwardly on the top of his head* so damn dramatic. 

Fierdan: *idk what he’s even doing tbh, maybe he’s just staring at his reflection lol, glances at Dylan out of the corner of his eye* Oh, am I bothering you? 

Dylan: Yeah, you are actually. I don’t know what your deal is, but whatever you’re doing, stop it. 

Fierdan: *puts on some hair gel for some reason, starts combing his hair* And what is it that I’m doing? 

Dylan: *sighs frustrated* Just stop it. Everything has to be about you now, right? I can’t get a damn break around here! 

Fierdan: *turns around to directly face Dylan* You don’t intimidate me, shorty. I’ve dealt with lots of fucked up shit you can’t begin to imagine. *jabs a finger into the middle of Dylan’s chest, is taken aback* What the hell is that? Are you wearing a tank under your shirt?

Dylan: *steps back, stumbles, defensively crosses his arms in front of his chest, sounds angry but also terrified* Don’t fucking touch me! 

Fierdan: That’s what you get for being an asshole. Did you think I expected to be put into this—

Dylan: *cuts him off* No, you’re the asshole. Get out! 

Fierdan: *continues where he left off* — shit? *takes a breath* Look, I’m sorry, that was a dick move. I can’t be touched certain ways because of my PTSD. I shouldn’t have done that to you. 

Dylan: *rolls eyes* Whatever. You can at least pretend to act like all the attention you get bothers you. 

Fierdan: *arches an eyebrow* Are you serious? Do you think I like the attention? Do you think I like being a dramatic piece of shit? Do you think I choose how I react to severe trauma? If I was this way on purpose, do you not think I would change things? For fuck’s sake, Dylan, I’m repulsed with who I am. I fucking hate so many things about myself. *stares at the ceiling* I’m a monster. 

Dylan: If you think I’m going to be like the rest of them and give you bullshit sympathy, then you’re mistaken. 

Fierdan: *looks back down at Dylan who is a few inches shorter than him* And maybe that’s what I like about you. 

Dylan: *looks disgusted* I’m not interested in you. 

Fierdan: *sighs* I meant as a friend. We can be friends, right? 

Dylan: I don’t know about that. 

Fierdan: I said I’m sorry! What else do you want from me? 

Dylan: You can stop ruining the dynamic we have going on here, as a start. Things are done here a certain way, and your popular ass can put us all in trouble. 

Fierdan: You’re so grumpy, shorty. I doubt it’s just because of me and the girls. 

Dylan: They’re annoying, too. Ryen is nothing like you. 

Fierdan: And you think I don’t know that! *laughs* You’re funny, shorty. 

Dylan: Stop calling me that! I’m only a few inches shorter than you! 

Fierdan: *smirks* Can’t deny the facts... shorty. 

Dylan: You’re just saying that because you’re not the tallest one here. 

Fierdan: *looks around* I think I am the taller one here. 

Dylan: *grumbles* Asshole. 

Fierdan: *sighs* Look, kid, you’ll get a growth spurt soon. 

Dylan: You’re practically begging me to kick you in the balls. 

Fierdan: *somehow says this with a straight face* And if you manage to do that, I’ll be surprised. 

Dylan: Are you taunting me? 

Fierdan: No. A kid like you doesn’t scare me, that’s all. *shrugs* Besides, I can easily beat the shit out of you. 

Dylan: *looks disgusted* You’re fucked up, Danny. 

Fierdan: Oh, I know. Believe me, I know. 

Dylan: *clearly wants to change the subject* So I get that you and Ryen are brothers, but how are you two so different? You two are nothing alike. 

Fierdan: *changes his tone to sound more serious* Well, we both had very different childhood experiences. *considers saying more but ultimately decides not to, not yet anyway* 

Dylan: And those girls. What are their names? Dawn and Stella? What are their roles in the story of “the great and mighty Fierdan?” 

Fierdan: Is that how you view me? You think my past is a series of events out of a fantasy? 

Dylan: *rolls eyes* Just tell me how they’re connected to you. They were close to you when you arrived here. *pauses* And I can tell it’s more than you three being newcomers. 

Fierdan: *stretches his arms* I’ll give you a brief summary. Dawn, well, she’s my— Ryen’s and my— half-sister. You’ve heard of C., right? 

Dylan: Vaguely. She was a woman who granted us the Elemental Powers we have. She has magical powers, she’s kinda like a goddess... *pauses* Why do you ask? 

Fierdan: *grins* She was our mother. Ryen, Dawn, and myself are the three biological children of C.

Dylan: What? No. No, you’re not. You’re just messing with me. 

Fierdan: *stares at Dylan* Why would I be joking? Why would I lie about my mother, a person I’m only beginning to learn information about? You probably know more about her than I do. 

Dylan: *is still shocked* You and Ryen... sons of C. and of Z. You’re the sons of two of the most powerful people in modern history. You’re directly descended from two of the greatest figures in modern times. You’re... you’re— 

Fierdan: *frowns* I don’t know if Ryen ever told you about our father, but he’s absolutely not a “great” man. Z. was an atrocious human being. 

Dylan: But you can’t deny what he—

Fierdan: Z. was a murderer of hundreds of thousands of innocent deaths. He was behind C.’s death. *suddenly grins menacingly* And I’m the one who brought him to justice. I killed him. I gave Z., my father, the brutal death he deserved. 

Dylan: *is at a loss for words* 

Fierdan: *turns around to face the sinks before Dylan can even notice, clutches the edges of the bathroom counter with his fingers until his knuckles turn white, mutters under his breath* Shit... 

Dylan: *is suddenly worried about Fierdan (Danny)* Danny? Did I..? *shakes his head* Are you okay? 

Fierdan: *stares up at his reflection in the large bathroom mirror* I’m... I’m fine. *turns around to face Dylan again* You want to know about Stella, right? 

[Bathroom door opens. Jack enters and walks toward them.] 

Jack: There you guys are! *scratches his chin as he looks from Dylan to Fierdan* What are you two doing in here? 

Fierdan: *ignores him* Stella is connected more to the Duke past of myself than my main one. If you don’t know who Duke was, I’ll explain it to you later. Anyway, Stella was Duke’s girlfriend, and they had... an interesting relationship to say the least. 

Dylan: Huh? 

Fierdan: *sighs* I was her boyfriend... while I was Duke. How hard is that to understand? 

Dylan: Very. You’re a very confusing individual. 

Fierdan: That’s true. My existence exhausts me sometimes. Well, more like all the time. 

Dylan: Yeah... 

Jack: *startles Dylan and Fierdan* Stella is a fighter. I see how you look at her, Dyl. Don’t underestimate her. 

Dylan: I wasn’t— 

Jack: She’s the most powerful among us. Ryen might have been our old leader, but when it comes to all of our Elemental Powers, his is nothing compared to Stella’s. 

Fierdan: *frowns* And what exactly do you know, Jack? 

Jack: *says to Dylan* I know that she wants you to take off your cold exterior. She wants to know you, the real you. *smiles* And she wants to be your friend. 

—————————

I’m turning this into a new skit story. I got carried away. 

This skit takes place in the beginning of story 2 when Fierdan, Dawn, and Stella are new to the world where Ryen and the others are from and the work that they do in secret from the majority of the population (those without Elemental Powers). 

To be continued. 

Ja Boi Doodles :3

Hi, I'm back. Can you believe it? That's incredible. 

Anyway, I had a dream that featured J___. He was in my dream, but he looked a little different. For some reason, he had an undercut and curly hair on top dyed blond. That's.. that's a look alright. You do you, buddy. 

It's ja boi! ;D

And the rest of his hair was very short and his original light brown hair color. He looks so different without his black hair. He dyes his hair black the most often. 

Seeing him with blond hair just feels weird. I guess my dream wanted me to see him with part of his hair being blond. Lmao ok @ my subconscious.

I knew it was J___. I just knew it was ja boi. I don't know how to explain it. I just knew it was him. 

Oh right. Uh, I guess I should say Jack. I'm talking about Jack. Jaysen. Ja boi. The jack. Yeah mhmm him.

Then when I finished coloring how I saw him in my dream, I decided to quickly draw him dressed up for Pride Month. Because it's June. And of course he has to celebrate. :)

Without further ado, it is art time! 

Him!! <3

Anyway, the Blogger create post screen looks so different now. Why does Blogger update so much? Ugh. 

I tried drawing Jack with two undercuts. He has his hair dyed black in the bottom one with his head shaved towards the bottom. I could've describe this better, but I don't want to rewrite anything.

My family is bothering me as usual. :/ 

Yeah uh, I better go. Bye for now. 

~ Shan ✰

Name Reveals of My Characters

Hi, I finally feel somewhat confident with the human/real names of my characters. Yay for names! Yeah uh.. I don’t know how else to write an introduction to this post. 

I’m going to try to refer to my characters by these names from now on. But I’ll probably say their old names again out of habit. 

So yeah. It’s time for the name reveals! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I won’t be saying the names of my characters that everyone should know already. You know Fierdan/Daniel, Ryen/Aeryen, Twinkle/Stella, Dawn, Ardere, Finny/Finn... I’m here to list the names of my other characters. 

Yes. It’s time to reveal J___’s birth name and his most frequent nicknames. ;) 

Hmm yeah, I should get to the point already. Ok ok ok. 

————————

• J___: His parents named him Jaysen. That’s pronounced like the name, Jason, but there’s a “y” and “e” in it.

Nicknames: Jack is his most used nickname; he usually introduces himself as Jack when meeting people. His other nicknames include: Jax, Jinx, Jainx (which sounds like a combination of Jay and Jinx), Jaxon, Jace, and Jay. Jay was his childhood nickname but he rarely uses it anymore because people at his school made derogatory jokes about his name such “Gay Jay” and “Gay Son” as a sort of play on words on Jaysen. I’ll emphasize that he goes by Jack or Jax most often. 

-x-x-

• Fauna: I finally came up with a possible more human sounding name for her. I’m considering having her name be Hailey. She just seems like a Hailey to me. *shrugs* 

-x-x- 

• Sparkle: Sparkle is another weird nickname for one of my characters. I decided that her more human sounding name is Sabrina. Oh look, Sparkle and Sabrina have the same number of letters. Haha nice. 

-x-x- 

• Admiral: Oh wait, I should write a brief reminder on who she is. She’s Stella’s main bully from school, she dated Finny only to get closer to Duke because she was obsessing over him, she messed up Duke and Finny’s friendship while Admiral was involved with them, and.. well.. she pretty much sexually harassed and assaulted Duke. Yeah, she’s not a good person, hahaha. Anyway, I know Admiral doesn’t really fit her. I feel like the name, Arianna, fits her better. No offense to anyone with that name. When I picture her in my head, she just looks like an Arianna to me. 

-x-x- 

• The unnamed character with water powers: I’m thinking about naming him Dylan. Way back in the beginning, I initially planned on naming J___ Dylan, but I think Dylan fits this character better. 

————————

That’s all the names I’ve come up with. 

In other news, I don’t feel so good. My stomach hurt a little this morning, and I’ve had an on-and-off headache all day. I slept horribly. 

Thanks for reading. Bye for now. 

~ Shan

The Hedgehog - School - Murderer Gang Dream

Hi! The title of this post is about a dream I recently woke up from. 

I first woke up early this morning, feeling anxious. Then I drank jasmine green tea and finally felt my nerves starting to calm down. And then I decided to take a nap. I woke up from the nap around 12 pm. 

Anyway, I’m here to talk about the dream I had while napping. It was an even more intense/vivid/somewhat scary dream than the one I had earlier today. 

So.. what the heck, brain?! That was such a bizarre dream. What is wrong with my subconscious? What in the world is happening in there? O_O 

My stomach felt weird when I first woke up. My stomach is feeling weird again. Uh.. heck. 

I just have to write down what happened in this dream. I just have to share it here. I just have to. 

Enjoy the movie my subconscious came up with! I’ll try to remember all the good details. ;D 

———————————

The Hedgehog - School - Murderer Gang Dream by Shan’s subconscious 

Part 1: 

• I was living in an alternate universe. There were slight changes to everyday, mundane, things. In the dream, I was back in high school in 12th grade. Being back in high school is scary enough, but it only gets worse. 

• This wasn’t an ordinary high school though. Oh no, this school was weird. First of all, grades from 6 to 12 went to the same school. Middle school no longer exists, apparently. Secondly, I was obsessed with my language arts class I had first period. When I say “I” I’m referring to dream-me. From now on. Got that? Good. For some reason, I obsessively thought about whether I had my language arts class first period during senior year or junior year. In the dream, I thought it was senior year, but in real life, I had language arts last period during senior year and first period during junior year. Why do I remember this? I have no idea. The third weird thing was that the language arts classroom looked like a college lecture hall. Was I in a lecture hall for one of my English classes in college or was this high school? My brain couldn’t decide, which made everything that much worse. And finally, the last weird thing about this school was that I actually had a band class first period.. but only once. I think I was like a ghost during that class. 6th through 12th graders were all in the same band class. I didn’t sit next to the clarinet players. You think being a clarinet player would make me sit with them, right? Wrong. I sat in the saxophone section, which was all the way across the room from the clarinet section. Then the band teacher conducted and the band played a song, and I sat there confused, not knowing what the hell was going on. No one noticed me there. After class, I helped put the music stands and chairs away. No one saw me. Then I walked to my language arts class. 

• The language arts class itself was boring. I don’t remember what happened. I do remember the classmates I sat close to, however. There were these two boys sitting behind me. One was taller than the other and had tan skin and dark brown hair. The other one had lighter skin, curly light brown hair, and freckles. There were girls in the front rows, but I forgot what they looked like. The teacher was a woman with long dark brown hair. She was nice. 

• After class or after the school day in general, I was walking alone at the end of a hallway when I saw an injured hedgehog on the floor. It made me sad. I picked it up, and it fit in my two hands. Underneath the hedgehog was a paper note, so I picked it up off the floor and read it. I don’t remember what the note said, but it said something about warm brown bacon from a hedgehog. I didn’t want someone to kill and cook this poor little hedgehog to turn into bacon, so I put the hedgehog and note in my backpack and fled the school. 

Part 2: 

• The hedgehog stayed in my backpack for a long time. I forgot to take it out of my backpack when I came home. I think I was scared about what my pets would do to the hedgehog, so I kept it in my backpack..? I don’t know. I was especially scared about what my tuxedo cat, Thelma, would do. Would Thelma eat the hedgehog? I couldn’t risk it. 

• Back to the alternate universe details. Back home, the TV in the family room had Hulu connected to it. My family doesn’t have Hulu, by the way. Anyway, this Hulu was very weird. It had Netflix shows on it, but the thumbnails for the shows and movies were nothing like the shows and movies themselves. There was an aesthetic underwater ocean picture for the TV show, How I Met Your Mother. For some reason, I decided to watch that show, starting with season 1 episode 1. The episode was called Pilot. It featured these teenage kids doing whatever the hell they were doing. Then they sat down on a big couch, and the show went back in time to the main characters of the show as young adults or 30-something year olds. The character called Barney was gay, which was a plus. I liked gay Barney. Everyone else was white and straight, which made me bored. XD 

• At least one week passed since I found the hedgehog. Dumbass me never took it out of my backpack. It didn’t die though, which was suspicious. One day in language arts class, its cute little brown hedgehog head poked out from my backpack’s side pocket. It was closed, but it still managed to get out of my backpack. As the teacher was speaking, the hedgehog let out a high-pitched “ahh” sound. That, of course, caught everyone in the room’s attention. I desperately pushed the hedgehog back in my backpack. People around me gave me “what the fuck” looks; I couldn’t blame them. After class, the teacher approached me and asked me why I had a hedgehog in my backpack. I explained to her and got very emotional. I didn’t want my hedgehog friend to turn into warm brown bacon. That doesn’t even make sense. What the fuck. Then the teacher told me to get food to feed the hedgehog, to give it water, and have a litter box at home as a place for it to pee and poop. I checked my backpack, and it didn’t pee or poop in there. I didn’t know how the hedgehog was still alive, to be honest. 

Part 3: 

• That day I finally let out the hedgehog from my backpack and put it in a closed space in either a bathroom or my bedroom in my house. I forgot which one. I told the same story I told my teacher to my family, and I nearly cried while telling it. I didn’t want the hedgehog to die. Never mind how I didn’t feed it or give it water for at least a week. I don’t remember how my family reacted. 

• At the same time, this was during the coronavirus pandemic. My sister was in grad school and was taking online classes. Which is normal since that’s actually happening. But in the dream, her classes only consisted of chatting with her professors and classmates in an online chat room. The chat site she was using was green. I didn’t like it. I argued with her a lot in the dream, and she apparently was in three separate chat rooms at the same time. One was with her class, one was with our dad, and one was with another group of people that I couldn’t care less about. I was annoyed that she was communicating with dad through this website. 

• I finally set up a small litter box for my hedgehog pet. She was so cute. Yes, it was a female hedgehog. 

• Finally, I heard news about the coronavirus. Quarantines across the world were starting. The news talked about a couple who were on a ship in the middle of the ocean when the quarantines started. They came back to their country and were like “What the fuck happened while we were on vacation?!” and then they had to self-isolate for two weeks. They received no news about the coronavirus while at sea. 

• For some reason, I still attended high school while this whole pandemic shit was going on. That was extremely cursed. Why was school still happening? What the hell. 

• I still brought the hedgehog with me to school. However, I was taking care of her now. I had to push her head back in the bag during my classes many times. I fed her small bits of vegetables such as carrots and celery. Do hedgehogs even eat those? I don’t know. I gave her water while walking to my other classes and to lunch. A mess never appeared in my backpack, which was suspicious. After school, I put her in the litter box where she finally did her business. Everything was going well. We were friends. I loved this hedgehog. 

Part 4: 

• One day while I was watching the news on TV, there was a news story about this murderer gang in my town made out of high school girls. They apparently killed lots of people. People from the high school were dying. They were.. you guessed it.. murdered by the murderer gang. 

• Weeks passed. The two boys in the language arts class I talked about earlier were both killed. Then I got scared. I knew those boys. And they were murdered by these evil girls. 

• At one point, there was a scene in my dream that described the sequence of murders. The last two victims were those two boys. Then the murderers fought amongst themselves. Why were they killing people? I never got an answer to that. 

• Worst of all, me and my hedgehog were next on their kill list. :’( 

Part 5: 

• After school one day, I quickly ran home. It started to rain. I ran even faster. As I saw my house, I saw an extra car in the driveway. I clutched the part of my backpack where the hedgehog was sleeping and prayed for our safety. Then I opened the door and entered the house. 

• In one room, there was a random guy dressed up in a kitchen apron performing as Alexander Hamilton in the Broadway play, Hamilton. He was singing the Alexander Hamilton song. At the end of the song, he cried out, “Alexander Hamilton!” and threw off his apron. He was a good singer, not gonna lie. 

• It all went downhill from there. The high school girls who were murderers approached me, still wearing my backpack. They demanded me to give up the hedgehog. I refused. They threatened me. It was scary. Like, very scary. :( 

• At one point, the random guy singing Hamilton songs was killed. I don’t know how. He just died. It made me sad. These girls were so evil. :’( 

• Meanwhile the girls pushed me upstairs. At one point, I got separated from my backpack and only one girl was pushing me. Thankfully, the hedgehog was safe. Then it becomes extremely weird and gross and inappropriate. Oh god, I hated this part. 

• Somehow the girl and I became a few years older in an instant. We were both over 18 now. I somehow turned into a man. Then the evil woman started flirting with me. Then she told me to confess my mistake of stealing the hedgehog and preventing it from being turned into bacon. She demanded that I confess everything by saying it in a long red tube attached to her butt. I felt highly uncomfortable. She then became horny and wanted/nearly forced us to do sexual acts together. I said no and ran away as fast as I could. Oh yeah, this took place in an upstairs bathroom. 

• The next thing I remember is the sexual predator woman and the rest of the murderer gang being caught and sent to jail or something. My hedgehog was safe. I was safe. I remained a man. 

• Some time later, the spell wore off and I was no longer a man. I became a 12th grader again. I became AFAB (assigned female at birth) again. The dream finally ended with the hedgehog turning into a small brown cat. 

The end. XD 

——————————— 

Yeah uh.. I dreamed that. I’m not joking. I literally dreamed this. My subconscious is cursed. 

What the hell does my dream mean? I have no idea. 

I need help. Or something. I dreamed this vivid as hell thing while asleep for only two hours. In the span of two hours, I dreamed all of this. 

I don’t think this is normal. Why did I dream this in such a short amount of time? 

This dream was so long. It was a full story. A fucked up story, sure, but a story with characters and settings and a single main plot nonetheless. 

If you think I’m making this all up as blogging entertainment, then you’re wrong. I did dream this while sleeping, and I wrote down the details from that dream to entertain you all. I’m not creative enough to suddenly create this story out of thin air. Why would I anyway? 

My subconscious is a good movie maker. I don’t know what else to tell you. 

Congrats for reading all of this. Until the next post.. whenever that will happen.. goodbye. 

~ Shan 

Unorganized Jumble of Thoughts

Hi, I haven’t posted in a while. At least that’s what I think. I can’t perceive time anymore. 

Anyway, I want to inform you all on what I’ve been doing these past few days. Ok uh, sure. 

I started listening to The Magnus Archives podcast. It’s good. I’m starting to get used to listening to podcasts. The episodes in this podcast are interesting. It’s.. it’s like, you know.. horror. I like it. >:) 

I finished reading Crooked Kingdom yesterday. No, I’m still not over this duology. My heart... ;; 

I also started reading the first book in The Raven Cycle book series today. I’m only in the very beginning, so I don’t really have an opinion on it. I hope I’ll like the rest of the book. I’ve wanted to read this book series for a while. It better make my cursed brain satisfied. 

I’m finally returning to my bookworm self. I’m reading for fun. Haha, beat that, depression! I’m not too depressed to not read a book this summer. Look at me go! I’m reading! :’D 

I’ve also been playing Episode (that weird story game app) a lot lately. It’s fun and I’m bored, okay? Let me be. Some Episode stories are good. XD 

So yeah. That’s what I’ve been doing. :) 

About dreams, I feel like I dream too much. I don’t know what it’s like to sleep and not end up dreaming about something. I miss the times when I didn’t dream. I just want my brain to rest and to have a peaceful sleep. 

*sighs* :( 

Anyway, it’s time for me to talk about my characters. Because I control my posts, and I’m a reckless driver, driving my blog.. recklessly. 

That makes no sense. Ugh whatever. :/ 

——————————————

Main characters’ sexualities and genders:

• Duke and Fierdan: bisexual. biromantic. cis male. 

• Ryen: aromantic. asexual. cis male. 

• J___: gay. cis male. 

• Twinkle (who I usually call Stella nowadays but ok): heteromantic or greyromantic. asexual. female, later on questions if she’s a demigirl or agender. still uses she/her pronouns. (yes, Stella is most like my self-insert but only vaguely. ahem-)

• Dawn: doesn’t really label her sexuality but she’s probably pansexual. panromantic. cis female. 

• Ardere: straight. cis male. 

• Fauna (or whatever I change her name to be): unknown, assumed to be straight though. cis female.

I can just totally see Stella being a demigirl. I do what I want, I decide what I want, I am god. 

...... uh what— *cough, cough, cough* *stares blankly at my phone screen on which I’m typing this post* 

Stella never really had any crushes, but she eventually accepts Duke’s proclaimed love for her and ends up loving him back. Duke is her first romantic lover. And for some reason, she really gives me greyromantic vibes. 

All of the characters I listed (except for J___ but he’s a mystery) haven’t had many crushes. They haven’t had many romantic relationships. 

Oh wait, yeah, Ryen is aro. He’s so aro. There’s no romance in his body. He pushes away romance when it involves him. If you think he has any romantic or sexual attraction in his body, you are mistaken. Maybe his brother stole his attractions. Just kidding. Haha heck. 

And here are some possible ideas regarding the sexualities and genders of characters I haven’t come close to naming because I’m absolutely terrible at naming my characters. They first appear in story 2, anyway. Ahem, here:

• Character with water Elemental Power (yes, that’s still a thing..): bisexual. biromantic or aromantic. trans male. 

• Character with metal Elemental Power: pansexual. panromantic. nonbinary, probably genderfluid. uses they/them pronouns. 

• Character with telepathy Elemental Power: lesbian. cis female. 

• Character with telekinesis Elemental Power: lesbian. cis female. possibly the character with the power of telepathy’s twin sister. 

If you don’t know what any of these terms mean, you can search them up yourself. 

Hahaha. Yes. >:) 

DukeXTwinkle might be a male/female couple, but they’re both not straight, so it’s not your ordinary hetero relationship. ;) 

...... Should I shut up? Yes? No? 

Oh great, I don’t know what else to say. :/ 

I’ll save mentioning all that stuff about J___ for another post. 

He’s had it rough. He’s done some questionable things. I still love him a lot. Despite how cold the world was to him and how he wasn’t.. well, he wasn’t always a ray of sunshine, he grows up to become a main character with one of the biggest hearts. 

Metaphorical. As in, there’s a lot of love in the Ja boi. The love he has for Fierdan? Dang, that’s true love right there. 

His past consists of: Being bullied. Lots of death and rape threats. Problems in school academically and not only socially. Failing. Dropping out of school. Lots of fights. Disappointed and unaccepting family. Lots of people hate him for lots of reasons. Being homeless. Living on the streets. Trying drugs. Being a drug addict. Body modifications in piercings, tattoos, and frequently dyeing his hair. Using his Elemental Power (which is something along the lines of illusion) to get what he wants such as revenge on certain people and getting amounts of the drug he’s addicted to. And then later on comes drug rehab. Then comes treatment for his ADHD: therapy and proper medication instead of self-medicating with an illegal drug and frequent smoking.. and other risk-taking behaviors of his. 

Yeah, so that happened. Ah heck, oh geez. 

That’s all I’ll say for now. 

hehehehehehe >:3 

Bye, bye. <3 

~ Shan 

Dancing and Kissing in the Dreamscape

Hi, I like the sound of this title, so that’s what it is. 

I’m here to reveal who the two characters in my 

Haunted Dance sketch are.

Which I bet everyone knows since I said who they are already, but I have more to say than just that. 

It’s another attempt at me drawing a Dukle scene. :)

Oh, you forgot what that is? It’s DukeXTwinkle. My original OTP in my story. I still love their dynamic though; I can’t lie about that. 

Duke is the character more on top; Twinkle is the one more on bottom. *cough, cough* I know the innuendo. I’ve had it planned since I wrote the scene. Because I’m messed up. ;) *cough, cough, cough* idk if I’m being serious or not— 

I drew the sketch quickly and was distracted with other things since my mind was racing with thoughts. I know the anatomy is pretty.. inaccurate, to say the least. I’m trying; I know my art needs a ton of improving. 

Duke is wearing a red tuxedo. His eyes are entirely black. I know I haven’t really added any details to my drawing yet, but I tried to show Duke with those details. I’m probably going to keep his eyes closed since the drawing is my two characters in the middle of a kiss and having them with eyes open seems creepy. However, I deliberately sketched Duke’s eyebrows to look the way they are because heck, they show make Duke look intimidating and lustful. Which, well, is the point. Then add on the fact that when Duke’s eyes are all-black, it distances him from his humanity and makes him more demonic, and well, inhuman and inhumane. He’s supposed to be something like a demon in this scene. Duke, that kid’s a demon. He’s bad to the bone. 

Twinkle is wearing a pale blue dress. It’s supposed to be a fancy dress. The two characters are supposed to be dressed up very fancy in this scene.  Twinkle also has short hair, but this scene happens before she cuts most of her hair off. She still has longer hair than Duke in this scene. 

Why did I add “dreamscape” to the title? Well, you see.. this entire scene— this scene of dancing, kissing, and background piano music— is all a dream. It’s all a dream of Twinkle’s, and it ends up haunting her. She’s literally dancing with her demonic lover in her dream. Dancing with demons...~ 

;) ;) ;) ;) <3 <3 

Chapter 55

Context time! Well.. kind of. Have some quotes. From Twinkle’s POV, of course.

-x-x-

The same mysterious music is playing. This time, however, it sounds as if only a piano is being played. 

An empty ballroom. The room stretches out in all directions. It never ends. It just goes on and on. 

Something in my heart tells me to dance.

My hair feels shorter. I'm wearing a pale blue dress. 

He's in a red tuxedo. 

His eyes are entirely black. He opens his mouth but doesn't say a word.

We dance together, yet we never say a word.

Then we meet on the floor. We kiss again.

He leaves in orange flames. 

I wake up with my heart racing. ... I’m not going to sleep again. I want to say the dream disturbed me, but I enjoyed it. Why am I like this? I don’t want that. 

-x-x- 

Can I just say? I sure liked to press Enter a lot. Geez, past me, what were you thinking? 

Haha so anyway... 

I left out the part where Duke and Twinkle both fly with their wings made out of flames. Like the phoenixes they are. (mm omg I love them) 

*suddenly decides to add quotes from the next chapter for more context* 

Chapter 56

-x-x- 

"When was the last time you slept?" Dawn asks. 

I laugh. Sleep? After that dream, I hadn't fallen asleep since. It's been two days since then. 

"I don't need sleep, Dawn," I say. 

Slurred words. Blurred images. Dawn prevents me from falling down. 

"Your eyes are starting to get red. You need to get some sleep, Twinkle."

I can't sleep though. Not after that dream. 

"No, I'm not going to sleep. I'm not going to risk dreaming about it again. I don't want any of it." 

I’m sick of playing this game of romance with Duke. 

I don’t want it. I want it. Go away. Come back. 

... Get out of my head. 

-x-x- 

~ Shan

Unloved // Unforgiven (colored)

Oh hi, I forgot that I didn’t mention it on here. The same day I started my Haunted Dance sketch (I know I have to change a lot of things), I finished coloring my young Duke and Calliah drawing from several months ago.

You know the one... 

Unloved // Unforgiven 

https://www.deviantart.com/blueblazingspirit/art/Unloved-Unforgiven-844972785

Yeah, that's what I put on my deviantart. 

And yes, I wasn't planning on drawing a background. My art style is way too simple than I'd like it to be. But hey, this is a start for how I imagine them: young Duke with short dark hair, looking cute and sweet; Calliah with long dark hair, looking angry. 

I quickly chose the colors of their shirts. They were the first colors to come to my mind. Orange for Duke; purple for Calliah. I guess those colors describe them..? Orange for fire, and purple for mysterious. Yeah, I haven't put much thought into the colors of their shirts, haha. 

Duke is supposed to be around 4 or 5 years old in this. He's only a cute, not screwed up in a thousand ways, little boy. Look, he's smiling. My boy... ;w;

I added details to Calliah's hair, but I'm not sure if people are able to see them. Ah oops. :(

By the way, I added purple eyeshadow to her eyelids. Because she totally would. 

*pauses to think of what else to say* How's my cursive? I hope my handwriting looks okay. I tried writing in cursive. "Unloved" above Duke; "Unforgiven" above Calliah. 

I don't have proper drawing paper anymore, so I'm just drawing on pages of an old notebook. *shrugs*

Duke is supposed to be wearing a thick, long-sleeved orange shirt with a collar. Maybe it's a sweater. Calliah's long-sleeved purple shirt is made of a thinner material. 

And I think that's all I have to say about this piece. 

........... ....... ..... .................... ......... ......

If no one is going to guess who I drew in my Haunted Dance sketch, I'll just say who I drew. Even though I think the characters I drew are so obviously. But what do I know? 

I'll do that in another post. 

Well, that's it for this one. Bye.

~ Shan 

blogging things .-.

Blog updates. Well, kind of. 

1. I updated my music playlists page with my newer ones. Now I have links for all of my character playlists. 

My playlists are almost always updating. They’re never officially finished. 

I have lots and lots and lots of songs. ;) 

*clears throat* ahem-

2. I’ve been having a hard time commenting on my blog lately, so that was a reason I took so long to reply to your comments. 

I stopped regularly checking my comment moderation thing since I couldn’t really comment. I mean signed in to my Blogger account, even when I was already signed in to my email account connected to Blogger.

Until now. I figured out the problem I had with commenting. It was because of Safari (the web browser I use). So all I had to do was change something in my Safari settings, and now I can comment on my blog again. :) 

Which hopefully means I’ll be able to reply to comments sooner. Oh and maybe I should comment on other blogs more too.. maybe...

————————

That’s it for my share of blogging updates. 

More interesting posts coming later. 

beep boop bye .-. 

Haunted Dance (wip)

Hi, I’m back. I started a new drawing, and I feel like showing my sketch of it so far on here.

It’s another wip (work in progress) of mine. I’m excited about this one. For reasons. ;)

This might be the most romantic thing I drew, like, ever. Mm, mm, mmmmm...~

I’m only excited about romance regarding my characters. And of course, I drew two of my beloved characters.

Take a wild guess on who I drew. I’ll give you guys a hint: it’s from a story scene I wrote. Like, it’s out there on my blog. You can read the scene.

If you can find it, that is. :’D

♥♥♥♥♥♥

~ Haunted Dance (wip) ~

I didn’t expect myself to draw this couple, but I suddenly had the urge to draw them in this iconic scene.

Guess who they are. I know I’ve been slow at replying to comments lately, but I still read them. I appreciate comments. :’)

(.... the more I type, the easier I make it to figure out who I drew. ah haha. ^-^’)

This kiss scene though. It haunted me at first, but when I think about it now, I’m like “mm mm ok ;)” haha aaaaaaa—

All kiss scenes I wrote used to haunt me. Now they don’t bother me. :’)

Look, I finally attempted at drawing two characters kissing again. I kept on putting that off, but then I suddenly had the urge to draw this, so here we are.

Oh and yes. The two characters were dancing the tango. Or something like that.

By the way, they are on their way lowering themselves to the floor. I drew the scene moments before they’re both very close to the floor. The kiss doesn’t break when they do that.

..... huh. I sound so romantic when I describe and think about these two. What can I say? I love them. This relationship.. fu—

*pauses* I used this image as a reference.

........ yes. 

*impulsively decides to include music in this post* hey hey hey. Listen to these when you get the chance. :) 

Heartbeats~ Broove 

Mein Herz Brennt (piano version)~ Rammstein 

Interstellar main theme (piano version)~ Hans Zimmer 

(The background noise during this scene is piano music. With a certain.. vibe. So that explains the music I’m including here, hopefully.) 

Moonlight Sonata (1st Movement)~ Beethoven 

lovely (piano cover)~ Billie Eilish & Khalid 

........... I freaking love piano music. <3 

That’s it for this post. 

Oh wait. Does anyone still not know who I drew? Anyone still want to guess? 

Now I’m done. Good night. 

~ Shan 

Details From My Recent Dreams

In random order. I’m just listing them from what comes to mind first. 

So yeah. Hi guys. Have a list of all the details I still remember from my dreams I had while sleeping for the past few days. 

My dreams sure are something. They’re.. uh, well they’re.. Weird. Stressful. Realistic but also at the same time no. Vivid. Interesting. Oh and they play like actual movies with characters and a plot and everything in my head. Like, my head comes with actual stories. My dreams haven’t been complete nonsense in a long time. XD 

I swear I’m not making this up as I’m writing this post. I’m telling the truth that I dreamed this stuff. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Details from dreams I’ve had: 

• I was on a floor level in a school. There were four hallways, making a square. I don’t know how many floor levels were at this school, but I had the feeling I was at least on the 6th floor. Anyway, throughout all the hallways, there were these small brown-and-white dogs just sitting in the middle of the hallways. Some were also sitting closer to the walls.

• I was in a classroom with my “desk” being a long wooden table, with two other classmates sitting next to me. They were both girls, if that matters. The teacher was a man, and it vaguely reminded me of one of my English college classes. Except the assignment and lecture was pretty strange. (Oh, I should add the order of bullet points doesn’t mean I’m referring to the same dream as the point before or the point after. I’m listing the details from my dreams at random.) Anyway, the classmates and I opened our big book for our class, and our teacher assigned us to read a chapter in the book and write a poem. For some reason, I had a hard time remembering the type of poem he wanted me to write. I never heard of it before. I think it was “Haikum”..? Yeah uh.. ok then. 

• I was in a gray stone room in a tower. I think it was my bedroom..? I don’t know for sure. I was working on another English class assignment. I guess that’s a trend in my dreams, haha wow I sound like a nerd. This time I was working on a reading assignment. I had to read Romeo and Juliet on my laptop. But the text was very weird. The text left out many, many details. I remember reading Act 5 in the dream. There was also this other girl named Floyd or Flora in the play. She confused me. There was also this long Epilogue section at the end of the play. Anyway, it was nothing like the actual play and reading it confused me. And then after being very frustrated with stupid Floyd or Flora or whatever her name was, I was told by someone in my family to stop reading and that we were going to the city (New York City, I think it was..?). So I went with my family to the city, and it was winter. There was snow on the ground, and it was cold. I also saw some Christmas decorations while walking on the streets. There weren’t many people outside, which was weird. Then much later, I had to remind my parents that I had the Shakespeare (?) class today, so I rushed back to the university and ran to the classroom. I was a little late. 

• I was walking outside, at the street corner closest to my house. Like, my real-life house. I was crossing the street to get to the other corner when a young man walked by. For some reason, he intrigued me. Someone else told me that the neighbor’s oldest son had finally came home from being in the army overseas for seven years. I never saw him before, despite my neighbor’s family living next door for well over seven years. So then the guy passed by me, and I whispered “hi” which made him turn his head and ask me what I said. I repeated myself and asked who he was. He told me he was Scott and was the oldest son of the neighbor’s family. I know the family’s three other sons. I won’t list their names since they’re real people who actually exist. Scott looked athletic, had short way black hair, dark blue eyes, and either tan or light brown skin. I don’t know why he looked so vivid. He told me that he served in the army for seven years, and he could finally afford time to spend at home with his family. He invited me to his family’s house, and I followed him there for some reason. Those neighbors are nice and friendly, so I didn’t feel that uncomfortable coming over. I said hi to the parents and the other sons who I’ve been friends with for years. 

• I don’t know why, but they decided on making bead bracelets. So I talked to the sons, mostly the one my age and Scott. I guess Scott was in his mid-to-late 20’s. He looked the most confident out of all the guys, despite only returning home a few days ago supposedly. Their mom was very social, encouraging me to hang out with “the boys” more. Honestly, I miss hanging out with them. Anyway, we were creating bracelets, which is a very manly activity apparently. Haha.. sure thing, Shan. Then I changed my mind while starting to work on my bracelet, so I then started working on creating an aromantic colored bracelet. However, halfway through creating my bracelet, I became stuck and forgot the colors of the aromantic pride flag. Well, the order of the colors. I remember being stuck on whether this olive green + hazel color was above or below the white, and if the gray or black came first. They had lots of shades of green in their beads box for some reason. I don’t know why. Then I started getting very nervous and couldn’t finish my bracelet, so I never had an aro bracelet. I don’t know why I thought there was a green-brown color in the aro flag. There isn’t.. what the heck, brain. I wanted to create my own aro bracelet, dang it. And then they got frustrated and impatient with me because I didn’t finish my bracelet, which made me feel upset. Oh and they also had two cats, which I didn’t expect since they don’t actually have cats. There was one long-haired white cat and one ginger cat. They were lying down by some windows, sunbathing. They were cute. 

• Moving on from that weird neighbor’s dream; time for another dream. This one is about my characters, hahaha. For some reason, I dreamed that J___ and Stella (aka Twinkle) were a couple. But I didn’t like that in my dream. I was like “they’re so incompatible” *smh*. Then later on in the dream, Jack (he was called Jack, ok..) and Stella broke up. Eventually, Stella and Fierdan became a couple. I thought they were cute together, and then I did some math and decided that Fierdan is three years older than Stella.. which isn’t true. For some reason, I thought of Stella being 17 and Fierdan being 20. Then even more later, there was a wedding and they got married. Am I kinda dreaming about my old original plans for DukeXTwinkle? Possibly..? Anyway, Stella wore a beautiful white and flowery wedding gown. And then I woke up from this dream and wondered why Jack and Fierdan weren’t a couple. And I finally wondered why J___/Jack wasn’t gay in my dream. He’s.. he’s gay. What the heck, brain?! 

• I don’t remember much from this dream, but it’s about Duke (I think it was him and not Fierdan, so..?). So in this dream, Duke was standing in a vast, never-ending wheat field. Was he a farmer? I’m not sure. He was just standing there, giving off a dark aura. Not physically. I could just feel like he’s been through some shit. He’s seen some things. I was staring at him through this portal/window thing. I don’t think he could see me though. Yet he kept on staring at my direction with a menacing look on his face. But he didn’t scare me either. I forgot what he was wearing, but I don’t think he was wearing all black clothes. He wasn’t dressed like a farmer either. Then this older man approached me and looked through the portal/window at Duke. Then he told me that Duke had a dark past and been through some traumatic experiences. Then he told me that Duke had the roughest experiences than anyone else “here” (what did he mean by that? idk). And then the man told me that Duke had a hard time going back into social life, so now he had a job to work in the fields. The last thing I remember from this weird Duke dream was him picking up a golden flower by his feet, him holding it up at chest-level, and he looked like he wanted to reach out to me and give me it. I then looked up at his face: his dark amber eyes showed feelings of anger but also defeat, beads of sweat on his forehead.. and a small part of his forehead bleeding. His face looked vivid. Seeing him like that emotionally hurt me. Oh and then the man led me away from the portal/window and told me he’s been through a lot. So.. yeah, that happened. Ouch. Oh and the portal/window looked kinda like a museum exhibit in a dark blue hallway that vaguely reminded me of the ocean. 

• About the ocean, in another dream I had, it was raining very hard one day. Like very, very hard. It wasn’t normal rain. The water falling from the sky came like ocean waves. One particularly huge ocean wave of rain was coming from a mountain, slowly approaching my house in the dream. I don’t live near any mountains, uh.. ok. That’s far from the weirdest part. So then my family and I went on a trip to escape the ocean wave of rain. Somehow, we beat it. The next thing I remember is that we reached an abandoned island in the middle of an ocean (Atlantic or Pacific?). On the island, there were lots of peacock structures. There were stone and clay peacock statues and sculptures of various sizes. For some reason, my family was interested in this gigantic light gray stone throne-looking statue. It was a few stories tall, but we somehow ended up sitting on it. So we all sat in the enormous seat. I turned around and saw at the back of the chair a giant peacock design; a peacock carved into the back of the throne. I then joined my family sitting down, and we could see peacock statues and sculptures for miles. The sand was white, and the ocean was a gorgeous turquoise color. It was a nice place, this island of the peacocks. I was annoyed that I couldn’t find any real peacocks around the island though. I wanted to have a pet peacock. Now that was weird. What the hell would I do with a peacock?! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed reading about these details from my dreams. I’m considering making a part 2. ;D 

I will return.. soon. 

~ Shan 

About Myself Dreaming

Hi. As you can hopefully conclude from this post’s title, this one is going to be about myself dreaming. So yeah, let’s get into it. 

So, I’ve been thinking about how I sleep and dream lately. And then I thought about how I remember what feels like many details from my dreams the night before / early morning for the rest of the day and then into the next day and sometimes even so on. 

Then that got me thinking how it’s odd that I’m able to remember so many details from my dreams when lots of others can’t. Like, I can still remember details from dreams I had days ago. 

Oh and I watched this video.

And.. huh. It’s not just me having vivid dreams? Cool. Cool... 

Oh and by the way, I still recall having vivid dreams even when I nap for only between one and two hours. 

REM sleep. Huh. Wow. 

I don’t think I’m sleep deprived because I sleep a lot. Well, a decent amount. But I move and wake up a lot throughout the night. So maybe the fact that I’m able to remember my dreams has something to do with how I’ve recently realized that I find myself briefly waking up right after one of my dreams has ended. Then I think more about my dream and the emotions I felt while in the dream, which makes me connect to the dream more, therefore, it allows me to remember my dreams more easily. 

I should also add that I’m a fairly light sleeper. That probably also has something to do with it. 

Well, I guess my brain likes to produce norepinephrine. Ha, ha, ha... :’} 

Oh hey, it’s me that fool who’s constantly stressed and has chronic anxiety. Oh hmm, I wonder why I always feel stressed? Hmm. Hmmmmm. Oh yeah. It’s my brain. Duh! 

*”help me help me help me” is heard in the distant background* 

What about you guys? Do you guys remember your dreams? Do you remember them more often nowadays? Are they more vivid? 

Or do you all think I’m crazy? :’D 

Extra Question: Are you able to read and/or write in your dreams? 

I’ve realized that, especially recently, I’ve had several dreams where I read something and wrote something. Whether it be reading a book, writing an essay or school assignment, writing answers for an exam... 

Yeah, I’ve been having lots of dreams about school/university things. It stresses me out. I hate thinking and stressing about it. It’s logical for me to feel that way for.. reasons, but I still hate it. Why must my brain torment me? :( 

So.. yeah. That’s me on dreams. Me and dreaming. 

Ok uh I’m weird. Welcome to the show. I mean blog. My blog is my show.

Until the next performance (I mean blog post), stay safe and take care of yourself. Bye. 

Discovering the Stars

.... Hi. I can't think of a better title, so this is what it is. It's now June. I could've made this post three months ago, but I'm doing it now.

I should check my blogging notifications more often. I'm slacking. Darn, that's a shame.

Can you believe? How is it already June? How did that happen? That's wild.

Anyway, I used a Picrew way back in March. I forgot I never posted the character designs I made on it. And so, here I am. Well, to show you guys the pictures. Now. A few months later. Because life is hectic and I'm forgetful when it comes to Blogger stuff now apparently.

Picrew link: https://picrew.me/image_maker/4893

✴✵✸✷✶ .... oh cool, thanks to the emoticon button on the screen for me. :)

Ok, let's start.

✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹

Twinkle/Stella. My starry child; child of stars and blue ice-fire. I first started using this Picrew maker because of her.

Her sister, Fauna. I still gotta change her name to something better, but I'm way too indecisive when it comes to names. Can you tell? I feel like she prefers white over dark colors. 

J___. It's ja boi! I decided to make him wear purple contacts because why not, they look cool. I haven't mentioned it in a while: he has tattoos. That's why I designed him this way. He likes his ink. I also decided to have his hair dyed white. 

Ardere. He's shocked upon his discovery of the stars. He has on a crown because back in his homeland with his family, he's.. well, a prince. A poorly treated son, but the son of a leader nonetheless. Ardere is from a special family, in a different land than the other main characters. He and his family have distinct golden eyes. That's why Ardere has the color eyes that he does. He has spiky dark blond hair. Since Taurel killed Ardere, the son of a king, he also faces ramifications for his actions, not just from Duke, but from the more "official" authorities. Now that sure adds onto the reasons why Ardere shouldn't have left his homeland, huh. Thanks for reading my ramblings over my golden boy. :')

Dawn. I don't know what else to type now, haha. Aren't these outfits awesome? I think so. I feel like antlers fit her and Fauna. And of course, the wolf ears for Ardere and the fox ears for Twinkle. *cough, cough* yeah. And the hat for my trickster, J___. He's the illusionist. 

Yeah, that's it. I didn't design any other characters with this Picrew. No Duke/Fierdan. Oh darn.

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It's June. That means Pride Month.

If anyone here doesn't support LGBTQIA+ rights, then they're in the wrong place on the internet. Most of my characters are queer. I'm queer myself. 

And due to current events, a reminder that BLM. Black Lives Matter. If that phrase offends anyone, then they're in the wrong place. 

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That looks like a nice border thing. Black and white waving flags. Cool.

Ok, ok. Bye for now.