Hi. I have the urge to write a post about a dream I had this morning.
Damn, ok, brain. 😳
*pauses to laugh and collect my thoughts*
As you can tell from the title, I had a dream about Fierdan. I didn't have a dream about him in a while. I didn't expect myself to have in my dreams when I was getting my 5 to 6 hours of sleep I get on Monday mornings.
The dream was so unexpected. I'm... idk what to even say. XD
Uh...
I swear, too many of my posts make it look like I'm thirsting for him and no No NO. f uck_
Umm...
aNYWAY—
(I was busy attending 2 of my 3 Monday classes, so now I have time to write a stupid blog post. I have a longer break before my last class.)
hhhhhfhhffghfhfhfhfghhfhfhfierdamn
(I'm not going to include the link to the design maker in this post since I already put the link in other posts.)
The Dream >;D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Omg why do I have the urge to post this?? lmao)
I haven't listened to this song in a while, but it kept playing in my dream. Having the dream made me want to listen to the song, so I'm doing that. *plays song on repeat*
(idk how to write. sorry. i am trying.)
lmao ok so uhhhhh—
In my dream, Fierdan kept on calling himself both "Fierdan" and "Daniel". Even in the same sentence. I (Dream me?) thought it was odd but also satisfying how he used both names for himself.
And the people listening and watching him got confused because they were like "What do we call him? Fierdan or Daniel? I don't know! Ahh!"
It was pretty funny. I know I'm making no sense. XD
Yes, take control of your name! 🔥🔥
I know that Fierdan is my creation and all that, but it's such a pleasant surprise hearing his voice in my dreams. Hearing him call himself "Daniel" with confidence. Gosh, that makes me emotional.
I already made posts explaining his feelings on his birth name (which is Daniel). He has such a hatred, like a repulsion, of being referred to as Daniel. He disconnects himself from Daniel and becomes Danny and Fierdan.
However. Years later (probably when he's in his mid-to-late 20's; to put it in perspective, Fierdan in stories 1 and 2 is either 22 or 23), he becomes far less of a.. well.. self-destructive impulsive man full of intense anger. He eventually reclaims Daniel again. And then, he refers to himself as Daniel in addition to Danny and Fierdan (depending on who he's around: Fierdan is like an edgy "fear me" nickname, and Danny and Daniel are names used for people he's closer/more comfortable with (basically all of my other protagonists)).
Adding to that, there are lots of characters outside of the main characters I have talked about. They're all very close since they work together and are a team and all that. (I'm not proofreading this. lmao). Among them (Stella, Jack, Dawn, Ryen, Dylan, Elias), Fierdan can be more "himself" than around the people outside of the group.
"Fierdan" is like a mask, a persona. It's not the "real" him. (I just call him Fierdan most often since that's easier.)
Not having only bad memories tied to hearing "Daniel".. being able to reclaim the name for himself.. saying it with confidence..... the growth. Z not tainting his name anymore. Healing from his trauma which started from Z. It makes me emotional. Fire man df 🔥🖤
(Z (Fierdan's father) made Fierdan hate his birth name. Z tainted "Daniel" and made him disconnect himself from the name. Only years later (probably after years of psychotherapy), does Z finally have less power over him. Like yes ok, Fierdan killed Z, but Z still controlled Fierdan a ton. So when he finally is like "No, fuck that. Daniel is my name. It's mine." ... it's so satisfying. Fuck you, Z.)
(omg this is so off-topic from what i intended on writing about)
Know what's satisfying? Fierdan and Jack taking off their "masks" and revealing their "real" names. No clever nicknames. No more personas. Just their authentic selves. ("Fierdan" is a nickname; "Jack" is a nickname.)
Ahem. Anyway, back to my dream. (lmao)
So in my dream, Fierdan referred to himself as both "Fierdan" and "Daniel" which confused people watching and listening to him. And why were people doing that? Well, you see...
Fierdan was a singer, performing at a concert in my dream. I forgot the context for why he called himself by his names. He referred to himself in first-person too. I forgot the details.
"Hey, it's Fierdan." "Hey, it's Daniel." ... idk what he said. Ugh, damn it. He also sounded like he was flirting. (??? idk what i'm even typing)
He looked pretty similar to this picture:
the hair,, the mouth,, what he's doing with his hands,,
He just had those vibes in my dream. XD
He was such a huge flirt in my dream too. I did not expect that.
And his singing was different from other dreams I had of him singing. The mood was completely different. There weren't depressing songs this time. In this dream, his songs were just.. well.. they were way more sexual than violent.
Damn, ok, Fierdan. Go off. 😳
my mind: hhhhhfffhfgfhfgfhfgfhfghgfhfhfhhffh (gibberish)
😳😈😳😈😳😈
I forgot what he exactly sang. I only remember him singing a cover of this song. Yes, Fierdan singing a cover of it would mean it's a cover of a cover.
I wasn't even thinking of this song. I don't know why I dreamed of Fierdan singing it.
Fierdan's singing voice. Damn. 🔥🔥(his voice is fire ;D ok heheheh)
Me: dreams of Fierdan singing a cover of this song at his concert because he's apparently also a famous singer now (??)
The song:
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