merry xmas

Hi! <3 

I know I haven’t been as active on here (or other blogs) lately. I guess I’ve forgotten to.. well.. blog. 

But I’m here now. I’m here. :) 

It’s Christmas. Well, it still is in my time zone. 

Hanukkah started a few nights ago. On Sunday, I think. 

And like. Wow. Just. Wow. 

Today’s been a good day. For the past few days, I can honestly say I’ve been happy. :’) 

Guys, here’s the thing. I genuinely feel happy. I don’t remember the last time I actually felt happy on Christmas Day. 

And yeah, I don’t really celebrate Christmas. And yes, I went to my aunt’s house to celebrate Christmas Eve. And.. well, yeah. 

But.. idk how to put this. I didn’t feel miserable this year. This time around. 

I don’t feel trapped or drowning in guilt/shame. Yeah, I made mistakes this semester I just finished. But I don’t feel like it’s the end of the world. 

I don’t. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. 

And.. and... For the first time in years, I haven’t constantly been thinking of how I “should” die in December. 

I feel... free. 

So.. ahem, not to get too emotional.. here’s a list of what I got for Christmas: 

• Visa gift card

• Visa gift card 

That’s it. XD 

I got Hanukkah gifts though. 

I’ll talk about them in another post. 

Less than a week left of 2019. Less than a week left of the decade. 

Oh gosh. What a decade. That changed me. It changed all of us. 

I’m not sure what else to say, so bye for now. 

~ Cutepups