skit story time # (lost count)

Hey, I’m back. I have motivation to make another post now. 

By that I mean I came up with another skit story after forever. Technically it’s continuing from the last two posts but whatever. And so, it is skit story time # (I lost count). Yes. >:)

I tend to write skit posts late (after midnight). That’s when I start. I enjoy finishing my skits with a character or few saying “Good night.” because it’s so fitting. I finish the skit part, publish the post, and then I pass out (sleep for a few hours). It was funny with the last one (the one I posted on Sunday) because I ended up being busy all day. So funny. I went to sleep a little after 5:30 am. Got at most 4 and a half hours of sleep, probably less. And I wasn’t in an awful mood all day. Nice work, me. 😆

I swear, the only way I think about my characters these days is if I plan and write skits. I don’t obsess over my characters if I don’t do that. This isn’t surprising at all. Hi hello it’s me. I am trying to revive my special interest here. Damn, I’m autistic! Wow! 😳🫣

Oh wait, I still add songs to my characters’ music playlists. That’s still a thing. I love music so much. Hell yeah! 

🌝🌚 A few points before this post’s skit:

1) They really do play video games in my plans for the story canon. Obviously it can’t be any actual video game any of us can play because the characters are fictional and their setting is fictional. I’ve been wondering how my characters would react to playing Mario Kart if they had the chance, so I decided to make Jack and Fierdan play that. I like to imagine it being one of the first times Fierdan played it.

I chose the characters they played as (Baby Luigi and Dry Bones) randomly. But also I know some gay Luigi memes, so I thought Fierdan playing as Luigi would be funny- and making him play as Baby Luigi would be even funnier. As for Jack, I can imagine him playing as Yoshi or Dry Bones. I don’t know why. Just a hunch I have, I guess. I haven’t actually played Mario Kart in a while, so my apologies if anything is wildly inaccurate in the skit. I miss playing it. This is yet another very unsurprising fact.

I’m not sure which console they’re playing it on, but I imagined them playing it on the Nintendo Switch when I wrote it. Obviously I can’t name the video game console they play on that (something something copyright or trademark, idk, stuff like that). 

2) I keep thinking that I’m a manipulative person and a liar, so that’s one reason why manipulation came up. I’ve also been thinking about how manipulative they (Jack and Fierdan) were and are. They sure have histories of engaging in manipulative behaviors. 

What? Jack isn’t wholesome? He also did very bad things? Uh.. well.. yeah. He’s done some Things that I don’t approve of. Jack X Fierdan problematic men couple for real. I say that half-jokingly. Pretty much all of my characters have done problematic shit. Suspicious things, lacking morals. They’re not good people. When I say all of them, I mean all of them. 

3) What is with that fourth wall shit? Yeah man, I have no idea. I just thought it was funny, so I started adding that in. Yes hi, I’m Shan, and I’m problematic. 😔😭 *is actually laughing* 😈 

4) Shan, hello?! What the fuck was that last skit? Hello?? 

Ehehheehehheheheheee eeeeeee 🫣😳 

Uh what- 

*insert gibberish here* 

5) That ending with Dylan. Oh boy, Jack and Dylan have history. Oh shit! 🤯 

(I also don’t know why I’m adding emojis. I haven’t made blog posts in a while. I need to express my feelings! Grr roar ahhh!! (wtf) *insert more gibberish here*)

Alright, I’m done. That’s all I felt like I had to say before this post’s skit. 

Thank you, yes, I am completely sane. 🙂 (might be questionable) 

Yes, I’m dumping thoughts about my characters I’ve stored up in my brain for a long time. 

Yes, I feel like I dissociate when I write my skits. The characters are writing them themselves. They’re too alive. Girl, help— 

… I don’t know what to name this skit story. I’m not good with naming stuff. Too many things happened, happen, and will happen. It’s too much. 

Introduction and commentary over. Skit begins now. 💥 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Time: Unknown. Probably some hour in the middle of the night when Fierdan finally is asleep. Very late. Location: Fierdan’s dreamscape. It’s very dark literally and figuratively. It’s giving some Cincernum vibes. SKIT WARNING: lots of profanity, mentions of trauma and death and sexual content, homophobia.] 

Deep but also androgynous voice: *speaks in an accusing and mocking tone* Do you have to swear so often? All this potential.. wasted. You’re so pathetic without me. So weak it disgusts me. You make me cringe. 

Another voice joins in, a man’s voice: He speaks so profanely like it’s his mother tongue. I can’t say I’m surprised since he came from Hell. He was and is inhuman, a demonic creature. Attempts at exorcizing him failed, and he left me this bad scar. *man walks into an area that’s less dark, he has an eyepatch covering one of his eyes and one of his hands is made of metal* 

First voice: A merely mortal human man against him. You should’ve known you would inevitably fail. *sighs* To be fair, I did contribute in helping him back then, but we are separated now. He broke our agreement. They both did. 

Second voice: And look at us now, meeting up together. The tables sure have turned. 

First voice: Indeed they have. 

Fierdan: *finally appears in his dream, mutters under his breath while looking at the speaker of the first voice and then the second* Soulless. Taurel. 

Soulless: *in a cheerful tone* The boy has returned! 

Taurel: *in a not-cheerful tone* The Fierdan has joined us. *stretches his arms up and behind his back* What did you want to lecture him about? 

Soulless: *nods to Taurel, then faces Fierdan who is much smaller in size than the other two* Must you swear? Every other word I hear from you is a swear. 

Fierdan: Since when were you concerned with my language? You raised me this way. *stares defiantly up at Soulless*

Taurel: Raised?

Fierdan: Shut up, Taurel. 

Taurel: Still fiesty—

Soulless: *cuts him off* Shush, you. I am speaking. Wait your turn. 

Fierdan: I heard you earlier. I am the best version of me with you gone. I haven’t been better. 

Soulless: *laughs* That’s a good one! You are nothing without me. Then and now. I would say nothing has changed but you got worse. It’s like you’re devolving back to your young childhood self before I educated you properly. 

Fierdan: What did you educate me on exactly? 

Soulless: Tons of things. I was your parental figure and your teacher for years. I raised you like you were my child. Her as well but not as directly. *stares more intently at Fierdan* But I am specifically focusing on your.. lifestyle. Your clothing choices, your romantic and sexual choices… Frankly, it makes you weak and pathetic. You lost all your potential, and your current life disgusts me to my core. Well, if I had one. You call me ‘Soulless’ after all! 

Taurel: He swears like a sailor and he’s frequently sexual with a man. Not as nature intended. It further proves my point that he is a creature from Hell, escaped from there, and will return there some day. He is a sinner through and through. 

Fierdan: *eye twitches* I wear whatever the fuck I want. I don’t care if some of my clothing choices are gender non-conforming. I wear whatever I like. My outfits make me happy. 

Taurel: *yells* You are a man! Stop dressing like a freak of nature! 

Fierdan: Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit before I pull your other eye out of your goddamn eye socket. 

Taurel: Continuing threats of violence, I see. How fitting of your character.

Fierdan: Funny how you think I’m just speaking threats. *hands clench into tight fists, tries to get closer to Taurel but Soulless blocks him* 

Soulless: Calm down, the two of you. 

Taurel: *glares at Soulless* He swears too much and is way too sexual. And on top of that, he chooses to make love with another man! 

Fierdan: We get it. You’re homophobic. 

Taurel: *laughs* Homophobic, he says! *turns to face Soulless* What did we talk about earlier? How he is degrading himself by turning himself into a creature of lust and sodomy? 

Soulless: That is true. I wonder if he likes the thought of being fetishized and seen as nothing but a sex toy. 

Fierdan: *scoffs* Sex toy! You’re one to talk considering all you did to me in Cincernum. Remember the ways you touched me? I haven’t. Your marks still haven’t left my skin, below the surface, no matter the number of times I’ve cleansed myself. I could have someone else touch me, with love and care, and could make love with them a thousand times, and your touch won’t go away! I could fuck and be fucked by anyone other than you over and over again, but the ghost of you, your fingerprints and whatever else, won’t disappear! You ruined me! 

Taurel: *takes a large step away from Soulless with a clear look of disgust on his face* 

Soulless: Ugh, stop being so dramatic. You’re both man-children. 

Taurel: Perhaps you caused him to be hypersexual. 

Fierdan: I’m not! 

Taurel: Oh, you’re not? Soulless has told me otherwise, right Soulless? 

Soulless: That is true. The truth is I have been watching you, Fierdan. 

Fierdan: *starting to shiver* I-It’s not true! Shut up!

Soulless: *chuckles* You’re so funny. I have in fact been watching you. All you do in that new place of yours is play video games, wear terribly not masculine clothing half the time, drink alcohol and smoke, and kiss and have sex with that… What was his name? Oh, that’s right. Jack. *sighs* Laziness. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. That’s all you do; that’s all you are without me. And you say you’re happy this way? Don’t fucking lie to me. This lifestyle of yours needs to end. Now. 

Fierdan: You’re just jealous that I found someone else to touch me in those places. 

Taurel: *face reddens* How obscene! Sinners everywhere! Sins in abundance! With a man… *shudders* 

Fierdan: *stops shaking, faces Taurel* Taurel, hey, I have to tell you something important. 

Taurel: What is it? 

Fierdan: Suck my dick. 

Taurel: *looks so offended that he just runs away* 

Fierdan: *smirks as he sees Taurel leave* Finally. 

Soulless: I bet you would like that. Taurel is a man after all. 

Fierdan: Shut up! Go away! 

Soulless: *snickers* Sex isn’t a personality trait, Fierdan. *pauses* Honestly, I couldn’t care less about your sexuality. *sighs* God, that Taurel guy is so fucking annoying. How did anyone like him? 

Fierdan: I have no idea. I would say his charisma, but holy shit, he’s ugly as fuck. He’s homophobic and a bunch of other kinds of bigot, so I can’t say I’m surprised.  

Soulless: Oh look, we can get along after all! I absolutely adore this. 

Fierdan: No, I still and will forever hate you. 

Soulless: If I had a heart, I would be heartbroken. *stretches* What else was it that I wanted to talk to you about? 

Fierdan: Fucking leave me alone! 

Soulless: No, not that. What was it? Ugh…

Fierdan: *starts walking away* 

Soulless: Oh, that’s it! 

Fierdan: *turns around to face Soulless* 

Soulless: I’m not sure how, but you somehow convinced the others that Finny is with you. Stop manipulating them and yourself and accept the truth! 

Fierdan: *speaks softly* Don’t say it, don’t say it…

Soulless: Stop living in denial! He wasn’t with you then and he won’t ever be with you again. *crouches down to be eye-level with Fierdan* Your first crush as Duke no longer exists. He died. You killed him. 

Fierdan: Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop—

Soulless: You, as Duke, caused the death of Finny. Your best friend, your first crush that you suppressed so well that you made that girl with you be convinced you were straight. Did you ever really love her, or was she just a pawn in your game? 

Fierdan: *thinking back to his Duke self* I.. I think so? 

Soulless: You think so? 

Fierdan: No! *shakes head* Fuck. No, I did. I genuinely did love her. I didn’t expect Stella leaving and hating me to hurt me so deeply. 

Soulless: So you can be attracted to women? 

Fierdan: I mean, yeah, I’m bisexual. I’m romantically and sexually attracted to both men and women. 

Soulless: I can just imagine Taurel saying how that adds to your sexual depravity.

Fierdan: He would probably say that. I bet he would scold me for being in a relationship with Jack as if it’s a choice I fell in love and feel the safest with another man. 

Soulless: We get each other so well. *gets up* Ugh, I got distracted. My point is your first friend, your first love— who betrayed you, may I add— is dead. Finny died, Fierdan. 

Fierdan: *tears appear in his eyes* And you think I don’t know that? Do you honestly think I could really forget that? Fucking hell, he’s dead because of me. Sure, you corrupted my Duke self so badly, but fuck. Fuck! I could’ve saved him! If I only.. if I only found him faster. *stares Soulless in the eye* We killed him. He died because of us. It’s not just me. You.. you…

Soulless: You were the one in control, more than I was. Duke is a part of your identity; you’re Duke, not me. 

Fierdan: You made Finny get sick, but I failed to save him in time. Fuck.. I miss him so much. Is it really bad of me to trick the others into thinking he made it here? That he survived? 

Soulless: Are you really asking me? 

Fierdan: No! No, I don’t know. *falls on his knees* He did things no friend should have done, but he didn’t know better. Taurel tricked him. He.. He rejected me when I opened up about my feelings toward him. I don’t care that he’s straight and doesn’t see me that way. I don’t care! I just.. *tears are streaming down his face at this point* I loved him regardless. I miss him so, so, so much. 

[Waking world. Time: Early morning. Location: Jack’s apartment. Jack and Fierdan are in bed together.]

Jack: *makes a sleeping Fierdan get up and lean his head into Jack’s chest, wraps his arms around Fierdan’s back* 

Fierdan: *eyes closed, body trembling, eyes and face wet from crying* 

Jack: *to himself more than to Fierdan* Another nightmare, huh? There, there. *hugs Fierdan tightly, making his chest act like a pillow for him* 

[Several hours later. Dylan takes a deep breath in and out. Then he knocks on the front door to Jack’s apartment.] 

Dylan: *under his breath* Remember. Like we rehearsed. 

Jack: *opens the door ajar, sees that it’s Dylan, and opens it further* 

Dylan: *lowers the hand he knocked the door with*

Jack: Dylan! Hi, what are you doing here at my place? 

Dylan: Are you home alone right now? 

Jack: *looks back into his apartment* Uh.. yeah. Why? What is it? 

Dylan: *looks where Jack was looking, then looks at Jack again* I heard what you said—

Jack: *cuts him off* You heard us? Were we that loud last night? 

Dylan: *blushes* No! Not that! *looks disgusted* Don’t rub it in my face. God!

Jack: Oh, you don’t mean that. Ohh.

Dylan: I meant to say I heard what you told Fierdan about how we used to hang out together, just the two of us, and how we were close friends who played video games—

Jack: *arches eyebrow* How did you know? 

Dylan: [Redacted] was away on a mission and as she passed by your place, she overheard you and him. 

Jack: *sighs* I figured. And since I mentioned you, she told you. Right?

Dylan: *nods* Look, Jack, you have to tell him eventually. The entire truth. We have history, and you and me both know it. 

Jack: I thought you kept saying that we were friends and nothing more. I’m sorry I thought you wanted to be more than that, but don’t say I’m lying when I tell him we used to be much closer friends. Look, Dylan, I miss you. I miss you as my friend. I hate how distant you are. 

Dylan: You know what I mean. You can’t hide it from him forever. Or else he’ll find out by other means. And believe me when I say that none of us wants that.

Jack: *raises voice* You said we were only friends! I let him know we were friends! What’s the big deal? 

Dylan: You know what I mean! We were friends and nothing more, that’s true, but when most people think of friends, they don’t come to the conclusion that friends do.. what we did. And I don’t just mean playing video games together. 

Jack: Oh, of course. I should’ve known you meant that. 

Dylan: Fierdan has a right to know. He’s in a relationship with you, so you should be the one to tell him. You’ll sound more credible than me anyway. 

Jack: I guess that’s true…

Dylan: You’ve been in a relationship for a while now. It’s been at least a few months. 

Jack: I’ll.. I’ll think about it. 

Dylan: Jack, come on! Fierdan is so dramatic and loud and just fucked up, but come on! He deserves the right to know! 

Jack: I know, I know. I just—

Dylan: Just make sure you do it. Tell him. 

Jack: I will, I swear. 

Dylan: You better. I swear to god, Jaysen. 

Jack: I don’t go by that anymore. How would you feel if I called you by your deadname? 

Dylan: It’s nowhere near the same thing. The only way people will treat you completely seriously is if they call you by your full name. 

Jack: *rolls eyes* And where did you get that from? Ryen? He used to only refer to his brother as Daniel, and we all know how much he hates being called that. And we know how much Ryen hates being called Aeryen. *sighs* Birth names suck for lots of us. We’re not trans, but—

Dylan: Ugh, I get it. I’m sorry. Whatever. 

Jack: *sighs* 

Dylan: I really am. *sighs* I really do miss playing video games with you. I miss our gamer days. But I know you can’t just leave Fierdan. If I’m playing and he’s there too, then… It feels suffocating to be there knowing that he doesn’t know what happened with us. I just can’t get close to him if he never knows. It doesn’t sit right with me. *takes a deep breath* And no, I’m not jealous that you moved on to him. Or anyone else really. I couldn’t care less who you date. We never had anything romantic between us. You’re allowed to have other friends. But.. you know. 

Jack: *nods* I know. Sorry, I can be such a dick. I just don’t want to hurt him. You don’t see him when he sleeps with you. You could think he’s so happy, he really is happy before he falls asleep, but then he screams and cries in his sleep, and it’s.. it’s terrifying, Dylan. The things he says. His past was so tragic and just so fucked up. 

Dylan: Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know. But if you keep this secret from him, you will end up hurting him. 

Jack: You’re right. I know. This shit is so hard. *zones out, shakes head* I’m not over what I overheard him mumbling in his sleep early this morning. God, it feels like his past was an endless nightmare. So much violence and trauma. It’s horrible. 

Dylan: You have your own share of trauma. 

Jack: Nothing compared to what he went through! 

Dylan: Stop that. Listen to me. Your past fucked you up, and Fierdan’s past, no matter how fantastical it may seem, doesn’t dismiss what you went through. What happened to you. *sighs* Can’t believe I’m defending him. Maybe I don’t hate him. *laughs* 

Jack: I know you just have a cold exterior. Of course you don’t actually hate him. 

Dylan: Don’t test my patience. 

Jack: *smiles* Well, we’ve been talking for a while just outside my door. Want to come in? Have a snack and play a round of something? 

Dylan: No thanks. I really should be going. 

Jack: Fierdan isn’t here. It’s okay for us to hang out. It won’t be awkward. 

Dylan: Things will always be awkward between us. I’m sorry. 

Jack: Oh.. oh okay. 

Dylan: I know I’m blunt. I just.. sorry.. it’s just that I promised I would teach Stella something.

Jack: So you made a friend, huh? 

Dylan: Maybe. So what if I did? 

Jack: Nothing. It’s nothing. Have fun with whatever the two of you are up to. 

Dylan: Uh.. thanks. Goodbye Jack.

Jack: Alright. See you later. 

Dylan: *walks away, waves*

Jack: *takes a deep breath, enters his apartment, letting the door slowly close behind him* 

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