Sparkle music playlist + read more to find out ;)

... it's called pink sparkles. because I'm not creative.

I call it my girly playlist. lol idk

I'm in a funk tonight, kiddos. A bad funk. :c

This week has been very tiring. I'm worn out.

blah blah blah,,,,,,

Oh yeah. The playlist.

Sparkle's music playlist

There it is. ok.

*zones out*

This should help put a "face" to Sparkle. like,, haha,, who is she?

......................... yeah.

*zones out again*

-- wtf—

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I... I guess? I'm back, bitches. 

oh shit—

Ahem, I mean "Mistians"* yeah.. that.

AAAAAAA ASDFGHJKL

WHAT IS THIS 

OMG

Sparkle butt scene

(it's supposed to be that, shh.)

.... wait, what the fuc-

Sparkle in my old RIM skits. 

The face in the second pic—classic.

lol it's Dukle 

me: *thinks of a "straight ship"* *thinks of Dukle*

but they're both not straight. so.. lol 

(.... oh man, I was obsessed with this when I thought I was cishet.)

(i'm not. so, so, so not.)

....... tfw i thought the chapter this scene takes place in was the horniest shit ever. (well, by me. obviously.) lmao

-x-x-x-x-x-

A few times in the past, I've considered redrawing a Dukle kiss scene. Perhaps something like the scene this original drawing was based off of. 

Well, I'll change a lot of things. Like, make them humans. Obviously. Also: Make Duke's hair black. It's clearly supposed to be black at this point *shuns younger Cutepups*. Make their height gap be more obvious. Duke is supposed to be a few inches taller than Twinkle. (he's also short, but don't tell him that. shh). He's taller than me though. So.. eh. 

And let's add some sexual tension to it. ;) 

(...... they're both 17 year olds, with Duke being 18 in a few months. ...... oh wait, he dies. oops.)

........ shut up, me. you know you've pictured this scene going with Duke starting to take his clothes off while Twinkle is zoned out and thinking that Duke is a *my mind combusts as I struggle to find an adjective that fits*. and yes, they are kissing each other. (mm sounds fake but ok).... uh.

TIME TO MOVE ON!

Original Sparkle! There she is!

... bitch.

that time when Calliah just wore a tiara. like, what was the point of that? 

oh oh yeah btw. Duke isn't a ~white boi~ because Calliah isn't fully white (they're both not 100% white. and yes, i'm talking about race. this is a racial issue! keep up!!). 

Duke's dad is white though. Sparkle is white. 

So.. ignore how I kept on implying that Calliah was white in the past. (wait, did I do that?). It doesn't make sense anymore. Because Duke isn't and Sparkle is, and Sparkle is the daughter of Duke's father's sister.

I'm making this hard to read because I can't stand myself. I'm an English major and I'm tired of reading words. I'm sick of it, I tell you! 

*continues typing words*

I'm planning on creating a "Books of C." music playlist soon. which means a playlist for both Calliah and C. sketchy mothers, rise up! *they rise up* screw you.

idk what's going on except I bet Duke is screaming to—

"an empty sky, no way, that's me 'cause one half of my heart is free. empty sky, no way, that's me 'cause the other half of my heart's asleep." (Blasphemy - Tyler Joseph)

Duke, alone in a room: *breathes in, breathes out, screams*

yeah, that totally happened. right? right! 

SHE

*Thelma invades the post*

meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow

............... ................ ................. ................. .................

On a serious note:

This post was a weird attempt of me trying to cheer myself up from feeling lonely. 

And if anyone's curious, I did do that. I hinted at Duke and Twinkle in my sonnet for my sonnet-essay assignment. I have mixed feelings about doing that now. 

Oh well! 

also. ahem. I might have once been one. but I'm not anymore. not fully. (???) (idk how to phrase words together) 

I'm not a girl. 

but I keep letting it slide. it's okay, it's okay, it's okay...... 

(it's not.)

Actually, to put it bluntly, I really don't give a fuck. 

I don't, nor ever did, completely relate to girlhood/womanhood/femininity. Like, yeah, I am feminine. I guess. I'd rather be androgynous, but I doubt I can pull that off. Because my body... eww. 

When I hear or read people referring to me as a girl, I honestly take it kind of ironically now. Like yeah, I'm a girl. I... guess? but not in the way that most people think. 

I just can't and don't relate to what it feels like to be cis. Like yeah, I do kinda sorta relate to my agab. but at the same time? this isn't me. 

I'm... nothing. A blank space. 

pronouns pronouns pronouns. cis people learn to respect people's pronouns challenge. (... I'm salty over some things I heard. :/)

My feeling towards "she/her" is just a shrug. Like, ok, whatever, use it, I don't mind. Except if you speak in That Specific Tone of Voice I Hate. I... accept it. I tell people "she/her" yeah yeah yeah. whatever whatever whatever. 

Fuck it. Hi...~

I'm Shan. I'm aroace. I'm a feminine nb person. Technically, I am nonbinary. 

I'm a girl, I'm not a girl, I'm a fucking contradiction. 

And... I'm nothing. 

(not mine)