Lots of things happened in my life since I was last here. Some good; more bad. Things. Life... ehhhh.
I have health issues. Mental and physical. I’m not doing so great.
2021 isn’t that good so far. Still pretty shitty.
Someone in my family died yesterday. Extended family, I mean. My great aunt.
Well, this fucking sucks!
I’m lowkey paranoid about losing people since so many people in my family died recently.
I also had a cousin from Venezuela who died last month.
Fucking covid. This shitty virus. :/
Shit, man. I’m going to miss visiting my local assisted living facility with my mom or grandma to visit Aunt [her name]. She’s so kind and loving. And now she’s also gone.
She lived to be 90-something. I don’t know the exact number. So, long life... I guess that’s a good thing. It’s still sad hearing about loved ones passing away.
The cousin was also very old. It’s not like someone young died. But still. Grief... :’(
Anyway, I’m back at college which means of course I’m fucking stressed. This is my second week of classes. I don’t have classes on Fridays (yay!) so one more day of classes left this week.
I have so much shit going on in my life. Like, goddamn. It’s not even funny.
How the hell am I supposed to focus when people in my family keep dying, and when there’s a good chance I have ADHD but still have to be professionally tested/evaluated/diagnosed? ... hahahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaahahahaha
Also, I’m in pain most days. Physical pain in one way or another. I have these random body aches a lot. They keep coming and going and coming back. It sucks.
Reasons, reasons, there are reasons.
So yeah. That’s an update, I guess. How have I been? How the hell am I supposed to know?
I try to be funny. I don’t know my identity. Haha.
*screams internally forever*
Bye.
I wish you the strength necessary to get through all the hells you're currently going through, CPups... The idea that you might have ADHD gives me minor hope? But only in the way that's like "YES maybe you have similar struggles to me! Potential bonding scenarios!" but it's eclipsed by, like... EVerYtHinG else.
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry to hear so many family members dying around you, Shan. Wish there was something that I could say or do, but I know all I can do is try and be supportive. *hugs*
Hope sunshine and good vibes come your way soon. <3
Aww, thank you! *hugs* <3
DeleteHaha yeah. There’s a good chance I have ADHD. My doctor thinks I probably have it as well, so I’m not just saying this out of the blue. And I’m in a few ADHD online communities. So.. yeah. Yet I’m still scared to reach out to a psychologist and/or psychiatrist who can actually evaluate and possibly diagnose me. Haha.. ha......
Yeah. It’s been hard. I feel like I keep losing family members. It sucks. :( I was able to see and chat with my family members, including relatives, because of the deaths, so that’s like the only good thing. And of course it’s all virtual which isn’t the same as real life, so grieving and funeral services feel weird. But eh, I’ll manage. I’ll get through this all somehow.
This past week has been better than the week I wrote this post. My pain is finally starting to subside, and I have people I can rely on for support.