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Friday, March 10, 2017

dreading saturday

Yeah. Uh. I'm tired. So tired. Of so much.

People irl are only stressing me out more.

Haha, what a great feel. So greatly sarcastic.

I won't post a new chapter tomorrow, and I don't know if I'll have the willpower to on Sunday.

Saturday is going to wear me out. It's gonna be a long day.

And not just because of the exam.

I'm probably going to disappoint some people. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Will I make it? Who knows.

At least it'll be over with.

Oh and I was wrong. March isn't going to kill me.

May is.

~ Cutepups

Thursday, March 9, 2017

alright guys

Hey. I'll try to make this post quick, so I'll go straight to the point.

It's almost Saturday. SAT Saturday. Gotta love having my friend enforcing my feelings of stress about it. Ha, ha, ha.

Good luck vibes are needed. 

But enough of that. No more personal posts about personal things. If I do that, I'll think too much and fall into existential despair again. No one wants that. 

Yeah so anyway. I posted Chapter 64. What a chapter, huh? 

I decided to just post one POV for that chapter. Fierdan's. 

It gets pretty violent. It took place in the past, so it was just memories. So it wasn't that disturbing. I mean I could have been more descriptive. But I didn't. 

I'm planning on making more detailed violent scenes in future chapters. That won't be memories. 

Mm boy, gotta love that violence. Scary. 

I have a goal set for what I want done by Chapter 69. And if not by then, then chapters in the 70s. Wow, chapters go on and on. This story is a reason to stay alive, so I don't know when the story will end. 

Haha. :-) 

I'm multitasking right now. I'm probably wording everything in this post so gross. My bad. 

About that, I sure did change from 2016. Last year, this story made me want to die. Now it's a reason for me to enjoy something in life. Gotta stay alive so I can write. 

Wow. Such improvement. 

2016 me: Twinkle's Story is ruined and I hate it.
2017 me, an intellectual: I'm going to save Twinkle's Story from the ashes, so I can end it in the way it rightfully deserves. I have improved plans for how certain scenes will go down. I have reasons now. Writing the story makes me focus back on fictional characters in fictional worlds, so I don't have to focus only on the real world which makes me upset and want to die even more. So instead of making the story a disadvantage, I'm turning it into an advantage. 

Haha yeah. 2017 is the year of change. 

Anyway, Chapter 64. I decided to just post about it already. Fierdan recalling how he killed his father. Yeah, totally normal. Just kill him. 

My boy being way too obsessed with violence and death. No morals. No humanity. 

Wow, look at my son. My Fierdan boy. Gotta love him. 

Well, hope that chapter was a reminder that he is pretty messed up. He has been an evil boy. Killing people isn't nice, Fierdan.

>:( 

I tried to make the part about the little girl (referring to Chapter 60) and the melting skin like melting wax sound disturbing. Was Chapter 64 disturbing anywhere? That part disturbed me. 

Haha, look at me. Trying to write violence. Trying to write horror. A murder scene. 

I'm trying. Being cruel is hard. 

And just like in Dawn's POV in Chapter 62, I go into writing about the human world. When they were cute little kids.

Fierdan and Dawn in the human world before Jamaa makes me emotional. My precious boy. I'm trying to be mean. What the heck.

He was like a flower boy. He was actually happy. He didn't know anything. He was a good boy. 

But no. Nope. Turned him into a monster. 

Anyone else metaphorically crying? Just me? Okay. 

Dawn was like their sister. Haha wow. Plot twist. 

Sorry, it's just that. I love Danny. I love him. 

Soulless told Fierdan that their father took away Fierdan's humanity. Which triggered Fierdan into suddenly remembering his life before Jamaa. When he was a cute happy human boy. 

No black clothes were worn before Jamaa. In Jamaa, he only wears black. Black obviously symbolizes something. Heck yeah.

And then Soulless says that killing Zios on his own made him lose any humanity he had left. Like of course Fierdan was more fox-human than human when Zios met him in Jamaa. So of course Fierdan lost his humanity. But Soulless then is referring to inhumane deeds. Because like. Killing his father in the way that he did, well that isn't humane. Murdering people isn't humane. Burning people is pretty inhumane. 

Too violent to be human. Fierdan, you monster. 

But then again. His father is terrible. He sucks. 

What humanity? 

Haha what. 

I hope I explained his location in Cincernum better. I find it hard to explain places. 

All that blood. Lots of blood. Fierdan, you're sick. 

How old is he? I don't know. In total years, 100 something. In this second life, I'm guessing 17-19. In the first life when all that killing action happened (since he got sent to Cincernum after he died in his first life and lived in Cincernum for his entire second life), he probably killed his father between the ages of 19 and 23. I don't know the specifics yet. 

Wow, I'm confusing myself. Why am I like this? Heck if I know. 

Stop being inappropriate, Fierdan. Stop it. Just stop. 

Asdfghjkl.

Oh yeah. Fierdan's last words before he first attacked Zios. "I freaking hate you." I really wanted to change "freaking" to another word ("f***ing") but I just couldn't do it. I had to change it back to "freaking". Using that other word, that's too risky. So think of "freaking" as being that other f word. 

I usually use "freaking" as a substitute word for the f word (+ ing). But it depends on the context. Yeah lol.

Twinkle's Story is definitely not a story appropriate for the younger kids. Please don't show your little siblings my blog. 

Hmm, let's see. It contains the following content: 

- blood 
- severe violence 
- torture
- murder
- suicide 
- abuse (2 or possibly 3 kinds)
- suggested bad language 
- romance 
- sensual content (possibly suggested sexual but not really) 
- trauma
- nudity 
- body mutilation/ horror 

Yes, totally a story for kids. Totally! 

(*cough* please no it's not *cough*) 

I'm probably missing some things. Haha yeah wow buddy. 

I am Cutepups. The laughing and crying fool. Ayy lmao. 

It gets way more violent later on. Chapter 69 at the earliest. 

I'm mean lol. 

Bye. >;) 

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Twinkle's Story: Chapter 64

*Contains severe violence*


FIERDAN

Memories. They're funny things. They love unraveling at the most inappropriate times. Their love for striking made sleep abandon me. This is another one of these times. 

Why is it now? Of all the things I've done in the past, why does this memory have to resurface? I'm about to ask Soulless a question, but then I remember we're separated now. 

I can't go to them. I need to stop being so attached. Even they said so. Instead, I let the words on the tip of my tongue spill out. 

Flashes. Dark purple, bright yellow, repeat. The sound of it dropping to the floor. That one clack breaking the silence. 

Haziness clouds over me right when the flashes stop. I rub my eyes and focus back on where a ceiling should be. This place is what I call Cincernum. Synonym for hell. My very own hell. 

Except it's not. This place is no hell. The only thing that makes this place hell is myself. I would include Soulless too, but the fact that I'm the one attached to them makes me hate myself more than them. 

Cincernum is basically made of black goop. The floor, the walls, the furniture. Everything is black goop. The only color that thrives down here is black. There are no definite indoors and outdoors. 

I came down here after I died for the first time. Died physically, that is. I've died emotionally and mentally hundreds of times before then. Being the creator of phantoms and the murderer of Jamaasian citizens has made me an infamous person in history. I wouldn't fit in with the majority of the dead. Things wouldn't settle well if I was to be among the people I killed. I never was meant to die and wake up again in heaven. 

I wonder if he got into heaven or hell. Or is he like me in the way of being in his personalized hell? 

"Do you think it was right to kill my father?" 

Purple flash. Spilled blood. Yellow flash. It's on the floor. Purple flash. My feet are soaking in it. Yellow flash. The front of my clothes is wet. Purple flash. It's the blood. Yellow flash. The first sword drops to the floor, breaking the eerie silence. Purple flash. The second sword falls. Yellow flash. The white is permanently stained. Purple flash. The swords soak in the blood on the floor. Yellow flash. I've claimed victory. Purple flash. My hood falls. Yellow flash. I tear off my mask and smile. 

I feel dizzy when I open my eyes. My breathing- if I can even call it that- becomes fast and shallow. My paws take a hold to the left and right sides of the bed. My back stops pressing against the black blanket. 

Soulless isn't here, but I can imagine what they would say. 

"You did the right thing, Fierdan," Soulless would say. "Remember all those things he made you go through? He deserved to be killed by you." 

Soulless had a role in everyone else's murder. Everyone except my father's. I had total control of my actions when he was with me. 

To this day, I find it ironic. Soulless taught me to hate him. Soulless gave me hate and abnormal amounts of strength. Soulless abused the naive young boy I was, turning me into a young adult addicted to violence and death. Soulless dug out my heart and replaced it with a black copy. Soulless was only a factor in the years that turned me into a hollow shell of the person I should have become. 

I, alone, hold full responsibility for the death of my father. Soulless had no role. I killed my father more brutal than anyone else I've killed. 

I made a little girl get slowly burned alive. I stripped the clothes from her. I forced her to play with black fire. 

I used to find it so fascinating how people lose their skin. It would melt off their bodies. Bodies are like candles. Too much heat and they start breaking. Melted skin, melted wax. 

It was all sick, but I loved it. 

But even killing her, my youngest victim, was less brutal than killing my father. Than ending the life of Zios. 

After one purple and one yellow flash, the memory plays in my mind. 

It's taking place way before the actual violence starts. Father had on his mask. He never took it off, and I never took it off him after he died. He was dressed in white robes with some gold lace in places such as the ends of the sleeves and around the collar. 

I was the opposite of him when it came to color. The main color I wore, of course, was black. I had a mask too- it was attached to my shirt collar- but I didn't put it on until later. I did, however, had my hood up which made my ears be covered. The majority of my outfit consisted of a black cloak. Underneath the cloak with its attached hood, I simply wore a black shirt and pants. A pair that is similar to the one Duke wears. On my black shirt and pants, however, there were purple phantom markings. 

"You made me rot in hell. To bring your son here must mean you have an infinite amount of hate for him. You obviously hate me, father," I said to him. 

Even though I couldn't see his face, I had the feeling that he had shining brown eyes. He was definitely smiling. 

"I missed you, my son. You've grown up. Let me have a good look at you," he said.

He never revealed his face to me, but I took off the hood. 

"Your hair, it's black and longer than before. You look just like him," he said while observing my hair. 

It never occurred to me that he was referring to another person when he said that. I was only focusing on my bangs and how long they were. They were so long that they began to become wavy. I was relieved to hear him not comment on how my hair was stained black and purple. That it was actually brown hair.

I made the bangs stop covering my eyes and told him, "You got rid of me when I was between the ages of four and seven. I'm in my twenties now. You stripped a life with a mother away from me. You forced me to grow up without a family. Why have you suddenly come back? To see if I'm dead? Because I'm not. I'm not dead."

I snatched his gloved hand away from touching me. 

"I wanted to check up on you," he said as his pathetic answer.

The next few minutes have faded from my memory. It does continue, however. 

"I don't hate you. I am proud of you, my son."

Zios didn't even remember my name. 

"You have grown up with a striking resemblance to me," he said. "You are just like your father."

I lifted my right paw. "I am nothing like you," I said out loud. I was thinking of how Zios and I could have any similarities. Much later, I figured out what he meant. 

Zios and I were parallels. My parallel to him haunts me the most. We both held plans for the future. Mine sprouted from the seed he successfully planted. 

Anyone who went against our plans was killed. Anyone who opposed us died. Our plans, however, couldn't have been more opposite. 

I moved so close to him. My right arm was still raised. 

My eyes glared at him. I snarled at him, and it was the first bite of my venom. 

"Stop lying. You hate me. Admit it."

His only reply was a few words. "I never hated you."

I put on the hood with my left paw. While on the tips of my toes, I stared at his mask. Right where his eyes should have been. Before I can only assume I clawed them out. I showed him my teeth, my fangs, when I grinned at him.

"You still want to lie. It looks like I have to be the one being honest here," I snarled at his face. "Well, I freaking hate you." 

After I spoke that last word, I attacked. 

It started with a punch to his neck. It ended far worse than that. 

We both were covered in blood. My face and paws were smeared in the deep crimson color. Most of the blood wasn't mine though. It was his.

Attached to the cloak were two swords. Dual blades. He tried to fight back. Oh, how he failed. Oh, how many times I stabbed him.

The blades were already red before I dropped them. 

If the swords didn't cause my father pain, then my black flames did. 

His clothes were more red than white when I was finished with him. 

I focus back on my current surroundings. I fall back onto the bed. 

I swear I hear Soulless say something to me.

"You lost your humanity. Zios took it away from you by putting you here. When you killed him, however, you got rid of any humanity you had left. You are an inhumane person, Fierdan. Even if Duke kills me, you won't ever be able to go back to being what you once were. You're not human, dear brother." 

That's when the flashes return. Purple. Yellow. Repeat. 

I can only guess that we're humans. Purple flash. A boy who looks similar to me is being distant with me. He keeps on hiding behind corners while we play. Yellow flash. I'm in a garden with Dawn. She is wearing a sun hat. She is picking flowers. She puts them in my hair. We laugh. She's happy. I'm happy. Nothing I have on is black. 

Purple flash. The boy who looks like me never looks happy. I don't know what burdens him. He is working against me with our father. I become distant with him as well. 

Yellow flash. Brother is crying. Father is abusive. Brother was forced to work with him. Brother isn't even ten years old. Purple flash. Dawn and I tease him. Brother and I refer to Dawn as our sister. Zios isn't her father though, so I am confused. 

Yellow flash. Brother is breaking down more than usual. He tells me that he "doesn't want to say goodbye", but Dawn and I continue to tease him. Purple flash. They took Dawn because of her parents. Some call them witches or involved in witchcraft. Yellow flash. I get separated from everyone.

Purple flash. I feel like I lost my memories. I don't remember anything except basic information about myself like how I'm male. Yellow flash. I only remember three letters from my name- D, A, and N. Purple flash. I name myself Fierdan. My clothes aren't colorful anymore. Everything is black. Yellow flash. I'm surrounded by dead bodies. This place is hell. Why am I in hell? I thought I was a good boy. 

Purple flash. It has been a few days. I meet this girl. She only remembers her name, which is Dawn. Yellow flash. I don't remember her from before. She is a stranger to me now. Purple flash. But that doesn't matter. We become friends again. 

Then the flashes stop. 

I can only wonder how I would have turned out if the Jamaa project never existed. 

I could be happy. I could be human. 

I could have stayed Daniel. I could have never become Fierdan. 

I could have a normal life. 

But that had to be taken from me. 

From the three of us.

By our father's force. 


Monday, March 6, 2017

Digital Art- Twinkle's Story

Hello. Since today is Monday, I might end this post with a skit. However, I have something I feel like posting before that. And that is my most recent digital art I created for Twinkle's Story. 

One is a finished piece, and the other is a sketch. Anyway, this post is only going to be digital art. I have a few drawings based on certain Twinkle's Story scenes drawn traditionally. But that will be for a different post. 

I'm nervous about posting the first one, but I think I should show it. So yeah. 

The first one is the rest of my current profile picture. The full-body version. 


I'm actually proud of this digital art. I like this Duke drawing. I colored differently this time. The neck bothers me a little though. The anatomy, especially in the legs down, looks off. I intentionally made him be slightly slanted. 

Haha, my Duke Fierdan boy with the black flames. My problematic boy. 

<3 :') 

The second one is a sketch based on a scene in Chapter 62. 



It's the memory from the human world. It's when Dawn meets the two brothers. I'm gonna try to make Danny (the shorter boy) look as cute as possible. But still make him look similar to his brother. 

Anyway. I love them. Makes me emotional. 

<3 :') 

Oh, before I forget. I have to take an exam this weekend, so I'm not looking forward to that. Haha. But really though. I'm probably not going to post daily this week. I have to study, ugh. I also only want to make story-related posts for a little while. I don't want to go back to posting about my feelings and crap. So you're welcome. 

Well, here you go. Have a skit. 

~*~*~*~ 

Sparkle: So, uh, the RIM. I don't know what it is. Finny, do your math thing.

Finny: Uh, it's actually business.

Sparkle: Okay, but it involves numbers. Correct?

Finny: I guess so.

Sparkle: Numbers mean math. 

Finny: Okay fine. 

Sparkle: Then go ahead. Give your statistics. 

Finny: But I don't have them. 

Sparkle: What do you mean you don't have them? 

Finny: I mean I don't have them. 

Sparkle: Wow. Wow Finny. Okay then.

(The rest of the gang shows up.. except Duke)

Sparkle: Wow, look at you. Not up to doing your magical entrances anymore, Dawn?

Dawn: No, I still do. I just don't feel like it as of late.

Sparkle: Okay sure. 

Dawn: Anyway, Duke is like my child. 

Brock: Okay, that's good to hear. Dawn is still creepy.

Dawn: Ugh. Shut up, Brock. 

Brock: Wow, everyone loves being so rude to me. It's incredible.

(Duke comes in with someone)

Duke: Hey guys.

Brock: Who is that? What is that thing?

Twinkle: That thing is a person.

Sparkle: Why is there a wolf kid here? Duke, explain yourself. I need another reason why I shouldn't report you to Taurel.

Finny: Will you quit it? 

Sparkle: Haha, no.

Duke: Well anyway, this little guy here is my golden bro friend.

Brock: Can it talk?

Ardere: Yeah, I can talk. Oh and I'm a he.

Brock: Wow, what a good boy. 

Ardere: Uh, thanks? 

Finny: What's his name?

Duke: He's right there. You can ask him yourself.

Finny: Okay fine. What's your name?

Ardere: I'm Ardere. 

Finny: Cool name.

Ardere: Thanks. It means light. I think.

Finny: Yeah dude, that's cool. 

(Duke and Ardere sit down on the couch) 

Twinkle: So, uh, how's everyone doing? 

Brock: Great actually. Cashier Girl No Lady and I had a date in the park a few nights ago. 

Sparkle: Where did you even go? Phantoms are everywhere.

Duke: Stop looking at me, Sparkle. I don't control the phantoms.

Sparkle: Oh shut up.

Duke: Wow, that was rude. Uncalled for.

Brock: Finally someone understands the torture I have to go through.

Duke: Oh shut up. You know nothing about torture. 

Brock: And you do?

Duke: Well, actually I do.

Dawn: Oh gosh, here he goes again.

Twinkle: About what?

Dawn: I'm not sure. Duke right now reminds me of when Fierdan would constantly be ranting on and on about his father.

Duke: Well you see, Brock. My mom was abusive to me when I was younger. Soulless lives inside my heart, and they abuse Fierdan. I used to be abusive to myself. 

Brock: I said torture. Not abuse.

Duke: I was getting there. Abuse is like torture.

Brock: Okay and?

Duke: I'm going to be tortured in the near future.

Twinkle: What?

Duke: Yeah. 

Twinkle: And you're chill with that?

Duke: I'm never chill. 

Twinkle: How do you even know that?

Duke: Well you see, Twinkle. The writer of our story has been planning out torture scenes for almost two years now. Okay, maybe a year and a half. 

Dawn: Yeah okay.

Duke: What? It's true.

(It is true lol sorry) 

Brock: Ahem, ahem. As I was saying, we were in the park. 

Twinkle: No one cares, Brock.

Brock: Oh, not you too.

Twinkle: Yeah, me too. Shut up, Brock.

(Dawn gets up and grabs Ardere, Twinkle, and Duke then they move to another room)

Dawn: Anyway, we gotta train. Okay now, kids?

Duke: Twinkle and I are both taller than you.

Dawn: Height has nothing to do with wisdom, sweetie.

Twinkle: Seeing you next to each other in person makes me confused.

Duke: What? How? 

Twinkle: You know what I mean.

Duke: Uh, I actually don't.

Ardere: Stop being so dumb and dramatic, Duke.

Duke: I'm not dumb or dramatic.

Ardere: Oh really? Remember when you...

Duke: Okay, okay! I get it.

Twinkle: Are you sure? Remember that time you cried? Like come on now. I don't think I've met another guy who has cried as much as you do.

Duke: I'm emotional, geez.

Twinkle: So you admit you're emo? 

Duke: What? No! 

Dawn: Okay, I don't know what you mean either. What are you hinting at, Twinkle?

Twinkle: Well, uh, shoot. Never mind. 

Duke: Ugh, what is it?

Twinkle: You have different heights. I mean. Uh...

Duke: Yeah and we do too.

Ardere: Wow, you're so tall.

Dawn: He really isn't.

Duke: Yeah.

Twinkle: Okay fine. I find it weird imagining you two kissing.

Dawn: Yeah, I find it weird too.

Duke: Then stop imagining it. 

Ardere: You're all way too dramatic.

Twinkle: It's all about Duke. He's the dramatic emo kid.

Duke: Well, I find it weird that you two kissed.

Dawn: Haha yeah. Because of me. Ayy.

Duke: Yeah, you're weird.

Dawn: Thanks.

Duke: That wasn't a compliment.

Twinkle: What's the point of training?

Dawn: Good question, Twinkle. Now Duke, go cook some food.

Duke: You? Me? What now?

Ardere: She didn't ask you to do something else. 

Duke: The thoughts you guys get. Incredible.

Twinkle: Says the problematic emo child. 

Duke: I'm done.

(Duke leaves) 

Dawn: We have to get used to being familiar with our powers.

Ardere: Why?

Dawn: Because I said so. Anyway since Duke isn't here anymore, I'll explain. I'm like his protector.

Twinkle: Oh really? Where were you when...

(Duke comes back holding a bowl of burnt popcorn)

Duke: I, uh, burnt it.

Dawn: Again?

Duke: What do you mean again?

Dawn: The cereal, Duke. The cereal.

Duke: Stop reminding me.

...... I gotta go. Bye. 

~ Cutepups ;> 

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Twinkle's Story: Chapter 63

FINNY

After a long sigh, I grab the door handle. I let the metal of it dig into my palm as I twist the handle. Then I enter the room.

"So you've come back, my love," she says in her smooth voice. The words that roll off her tongue sound poisonously sweet to my ears. 

I won't fall back as easily this time. This isn't a time to be romantic.

"Why are you still here? Don't you know how horrible the two of them are? Everyone besides them left, so why not you?" I say, throwing question after question at her.

She comes up to me. The tips of her fingers brush the side of my neck. My face heats up when she kisses me on the cheek.

"He has to be brought down. Being his cousin shouldn't mean anything to me, and neither should the fact that you were once friends." 

I step away from her. This isn't the time to be romantic. 

"I'll always be his friend. We'll always be," I say with a shaky voice.

She gathers all her red-pink hair and ties her hair up. Sparkle looks so beautiful, but now she looks ugly on the inside. 

"I'm not going to let you wait until he ends up killing you too. I won't let him hurt you, my love." 

I don't realize my paws are in fists until I feel my claws pierce the skin at my palms. I look down at them before looking up into her eyes.

"Come on, Sparkle. Please. Think things through," I beg her. 

"It doesn't matter anymore," she replies. 

"You heard what they said. They plan on torturing him, Sparkle. It's gone too far. We have to stand up to them and tell them no. What they plan to do is not okay."

Sparkle grabs onto one of my wrists. My paw relaxes. 

"Duke is Fierdan. What don't you understand about that, Finny? Fierdan was a mass murderer, and if Duke is the living version of him then he doesn't deserve to stay alive." 

I force her paw away from mine. I frown at her and yell, "Duke isn't Fierdan. He didn't kill anyone. How dare you compare your own family member to someone so horrible. How dare you betray someone you loved! How dare you say he doesn't deserve to be alive. Everyone, no matter who they are, deserves to live!" 

If my eyes don't feel as dry, then tears would be streaming down my face. I don't care if I'm a boy. I'll cry if I want to. 

She glares at me. "Then tell that to him. Fierdan killed lots of innocent people with his black flames. Guess what Duke has, Finny? Duke has black flames just like how Fierdan did. Anyone who comes in contact with black fire dies." 

I glare back at her. "Duke and Fierdan are two different people. They aren't the same."

Sparkle's reply is only laughter. She doesn't say anything. 

"I won't let you betray him, Sparkle. You have to stop being brainwashed."

She stops laughing. She looks into my eyes. 

"It's not just about that!" she exclaims, her paws at her hips. 

"Then what is it about?" I ask, my voice sounding cold. 

"There's a war going on. Duke is between the two sides. Phantoms keep on coming. People are dying all around us. Ever since Duke obtained black flames and discovered that he is a version of Fierdan, phantoms won't stop arriving. He, or Fierdan, are the root cause for why there are so many phantoms in Jamaa. They're destroying our little part of the world." 

Oh, that's right. The phantoms. 

"What side are you on? Are you on the fox side with people like Taurel and I? Or are you on the traitors' side? Are you siding with people who work with phantoms like Duke and Calliah? Are you on the side of saving the world or not, Finny?" 

I close my eyes. 

"The fox government is corrupted. If fox territory has to be destroyed from the inside out, then I'm all in for that for saving the world. I'm on Calliah's side."

I open my eyes to see Sparkle frowning at me. 

"You're just like them. You're not making any sense." 

I turn away from her. My paw is on the door handle. 

"You're the one not making any sense. I hope you realize the truth soon. Before it's too late."

I twist the handle. The door opens. 

"Goodbye Sparkle." 


TAUREL 

I turn my head back and forth. Seeing that the coast is clear, I run down the hallway. 

Not even a minute after running, I whisper swears. I've accidentally hit my left paw on the wall. Slowing down, I hold the limp paw in the other paw. 

I had to break my left paw to escape. I can't stay here with Mr. Missing Finger. 

Where even is the exit to this place? 

It takes me around twenty minutes to find it. 

After all these days, I'm free. I've escaped that idiot. 

Now it's time to get back to work. I hope Risak wasn't so much of an idiot that he stayed around here to wait for me. I hope he went to wolf territory. Hearing the news that the wolf leader's son has gone missing in fox territory gave me an idea. 

We can work together to bring down Duke. 

My eyes look up at the blue sky.

"Thanks for taking the bait, you stupid wolf." 


RISAK 

The Tall Tower stands in front of me. I smile when I look at it. 

The strong wolf turns his head to look directly at me. 

"Isn't this the place where your fox government works? What job do you have?" the wolf asks. 

I lose focus on appreciating the Tall Tower's beauty. 

"Oh, I'm just a guard. Taurel is also a guard, but he's the leader of us." 

The wolf laughs. I turn my head to look him in the face. 

"Are you telling me that you and your leader aren't even leaders? You're guards? Guards aren't leaders."

"We guard the ways of the fox government. We make sure chaos doesn't come," I say. 

The wolf points at a small dark gray cloud in the distance. I recognize what it is right away. Phantoms.

"You suck at your jobs then. Phantoms are all over your land. Chaos is already here, and your top priority is to hunt down a fox instead of helping your own citizens." 

The wolf leader stands up on his two back paws. He leans against one of the four pillars in front of the Tall Tower. 

"You two are disgraces. People are dying left and right, and you're doing nothing to stop more phantoms from coming."

"The Duke Fierdan has a way to control the phantoms. He's linked to the phantoms, so that's why we have to get him," I explain.

He still doesn't look convinced. 

"Duke is threatening the fox society. He wants to destroy our territory, so he could become the leader of a new world. He has to be stopped. Fierdan can't have power ever again." 

After a few minutes, we enter the Tall Tower. 

"No one is here. Where's your team?" the wolf says. 

Now I'm angry. I tear off the navy blue jacket. It drops onto the floor. I don't bother to pick it up. 

I swear under my breath. 


TWINKLE 

Wearing a blue-gray short-sleeved shirt and black pants, I walk up to Dawn. I tell her good morning, but I get the feeling that she didn't hear me. 

I repeat myself. She looks like she's in her own little world. 

She faces me with a horrified expression. I gasp before dropping the blue sword. 

I was planning on doing some more training with Dawn, but now I think that won't be a good idea. I even got dressed in one of the shirts she gave me. I brought the sword too. 

"I won't use my blue flames to attack you this time. Even though you were pleased with my fighting, I feel guilty for suddenly becoming violent with you." 

Still no reply from her. 

I pick up the sword. But when I hear Dawn speak, I drop it again. 

"Oh. Good morning, Twinkle. Thanks for being ready. We won't be using swords today though."

Before she walks away any further, I ask her why we won't be using swords. 

"We'll be using a different weapon for today," she says before entering her cave home. It looks so small out here compared to how big it is on the inside. 

I sit right outside the entrance and wait for her. 

Dawn comes outside holding two new weapons. She gives me the blue one as she keeps the green one. Then she looks up at the trees and smiles. 

I follow Dawn as we walk toward a tree. When we reach it, I look up to see the two boys sleeping. I giggle. 

Then I helplessly watch as Ardere moves a little too far over. He's starting to fall. 

But before he can fall too far, Duke falls off the tree branch. The two orange fire wings have appeared so naturally. It looks like he grabbed Ardere in his sleep. When the two of them are back on the branch, they lay down and go back to sleep. 

"It looks like the two of them are getting along," I say to myself. 

That thought makes me smile. They look like they're friends. They look so cute and innocent. 

That thought disappears as soon as they wake up. Duke holds Ardere in his arms as he drops to the ground. Thank goodness for his wings. 

Ardere stumbles when Duke lets go of him on the ground. His fur glows its golden color, and lightning appears when he stomps his foot. 

"Who's there? Lightning and fire can take you down. We'll burn you," I hear Ardere say with his eyes still closed. 

Duke speaks to him. "Relax, it's okay. It was just Dawn playing a little trick on us, that's all." 

When he turns to give Dawn a disapproving glance, she giggles. 

"Come on, that was pretty funny," she says. "Don't you agree with me, Twinkle?" 

I look from Dawn to Duke to Ardere. "Umm," is all I can say. 

Duke puts a paw on Ardere's shoulder. "You used your weird Elemental Power to wake us up. Making the tree move wasn't nice of you, Dawn." 

"Yeah and what do boys do now? Do they leave their beds and sleep in trees now?" 

Ardere looks at Dawn. "Actually, I was on the ground. Duke and I were talking for a while, but he got tired of me being on the ground. He flew down to pick me up and put me on the tree branch, so we could have less distance between us." 

"Shush, young one. They don't have to know about last night," Duke says to him.

Ardere looks at the ground. "Oh okay." 

When he looks up again, he looks confused. 

I realize Duke has took notice in what is in my paws. He turns to Dawn and sees that she has the same weapon that I do. 

"No way, you have bow and arrows. Dawn, do you have an extra? Oh my gosh, you have a bow and arrows. I've always wanted to use one. I bet they're way better than throwing darts." 

It's hard for me to hide my laughter as the rest of us watch Duke become obsessed with the bow and arrows. 

"I need one, Dawn. Please tell me you have a red or orange one. I've wanted to use a real bow and arrows for so long. You're so cool, Dawn." 

A lot of things have happened, but one thing's for certain. We're still kids. 

"No, these are just for Twinkle and me. Go do something useful with your wolf friend." 

He doesn't listen though. When he's about to grab my bow and arrows, Dawn shoots an arrow at him. 

I watch as the arrowhead turns into a leaf. 

"These bow and arrows are only for my use. This green one has my Elemental Power. Twinkle's has her Elemental Power. That's why you can't use our bows, Duke." 

Looking defeated, he says, "You're so mean. Let's go, Ardere." 

I watch the two of them leave. 

"Come on, Twinkle. Let's go," I hear Dawn say as she grabs my paw. 


DUKE 

"I can't believe I'm not allowed to use a bow and arrows. You don't know how many years I've dreamed of having one," I say while looking down into the valley from on top of a rock. 

Ardere steps closer to the edge. I have to protect this wolf kid no matter what. 

"Yeah, I don't blame you. I remember you telling me how much you used to throw darts at targets. That's such a bland alternative to using an actual bow and arrows," Ardere says. 

I nod. "Yeah. It's weird though. I'm scared of actually using one."

Ardere sits down with his legs dangling off the edge. I sigh and sit down next to him. I put my left paw on top of his right one. 

I'll do my best to protect you. I don't know what it is, but there is something about you. It's as if I want to be your brother. 

Fierdan has a brother. I'm not Fierdan though. I'm Duke. I don't have a brother. 

I want to keep you safe. I don't want you to be hurt by my actions as well. 

I don't know what I'll do if I caused you to be harmed in any way. You're just a person in the wrong body. They won't understand that you're actually a fox in a wolf's body. You're not wrong. 

I'll do anything to make sure you're safe from your father. I promise you, Ardere. 

"A few months ago, I had these scary visions. In one of them, I had a bow and arrows. It started out with me just throwing darts, but the darts changed to arrows. In the end, I've killed someone I loved with the arrows."

I take a deep breath. My grip on Ardere's paw tightens. 

"I looked terrifying. I watched this other version of me set the room on fire. That me wouldn't stop until there was blood everywhere. The target turned out to be my lover. I killed Twinkle." 

"It's okay, Duke," Ardere whispers. "It's going to be okay."

My right paw is in a fist. My knuckles press into the hard surface.

"No, Ardere, it's not. It won't ever be okay. Life isn't okay right now, if you haven't noticed." 

"Yes, it will. Stop being so negative. You won't kill Twinkle. You can't."

I look at my feet swinging back and forth. 

"You don't know that."

Ardere faces me. 

"If you're scared of using bow and arrows, then why are you so interested in using one?" 

My eyes close. "I don't know. There are a lot of things wrong with me. Lots of conflicts going on in my messed up head." 

I open my eyes when I watch Ardere start to get up. He smiles at me. 

"Let's do our own training, Duke." 

I nod and stand up.

Ardere goes first. He shoots out a few bolts of lightning. They drop down the cliff to the barren land in the valley right below us. 

A patch of light brown dirt gets charred. 

Then I go. It's hard for the orange flames to get off my claws. I don't think I ever shot fire off my body before. 

Eventually, the fire escapes my claws. The area of black dirt Ardere created with his lightning gets covered in the fire. 

It doesn't blow out. 

Ardere sends out another lightning bolt. It zaps out the small fire. 

I stare at it. I suddenly get the thought of something happening to Ardere that causes my demise. 

The demise of Duke. The death of me. Of who I once was. 

Then I think of that dream again. 

I stand at the edge of the cliff and scream at the top of my lungs. 


DAWN 

I run away from Twinkle. 

She follows me. 

"Where are you going?" I hear her ask me. 

I don't answer her. 

I keep on running. 

Taurel escaped. Duke is being hunted down. No one's safe here. 

I suddenly stop. A few seconds later, Twinkle bumps into me. 

"What is that?" Twinkle asks.

I listen to the screaming. It sounds like agony. 

"It's Duke. He's being hunted down again."

"By who?" she gasps.

"Taurel and maybe a few others. I'm not that sure. I was speaking to one of my workers on my walkie-talkie earlier. That's how I know." 

However, something about the screaming reminded me of someone else's familiar voice. 

Fierdan is screaming too. I have the feeling that he finally knows something I wiped from his memory. 

His humanity that was stolen from him. 


Friday, March 3, 2017

The First Four

Hi. Just a quick thing I drew. :) 




The first four characters in the story to have their Elemental Powers introduced. 

Twinkle: ice-fire
Duke: fire
Fauna: air 
Dawn: earth 

Hope you like this little thing, even though it's nothing special. 

(I've been watching ATLA, oops.) 

... ... ... ... ... 

I have some finished Twinkle's Story drawings, but I'm not that confident in showing them yet. 

... ... ... ... ... 

Real life is stressful and scary. Must go to fictional worlds for happiness. 

Don't think too much about it.

Just think of the stories. 

Only post about the stories.

Don't talk about it. 

Remain happy.

Don't go back to how things were before.

:'-) 

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Story Talk (60s arc)

Hi. It's March now. *slow claps* 

I'm going to make this post about Twinkle's Story events up to and including Chapter 62. I wrote a whole chapter yesterday.. wow. This cartoon (ATLA/LOK) makes me want to write more often, haha.

But before I actually go into that, I'm going to say some things that don't give any spoilers for the new chapters. 

March is going to be a stressful month for me. I've got standardized exams to do, and there are no breaks from school this month. I want to put certain events in the story as quickly as I can. That's another reason (apart from watching shows that inspire me to write lol) why I'm writing chapters more often nowadays. I just want to get some things from the story out and over with already. I also feel like I won't have as much time to write anymore. I really don't want to leave the story again (especially how I'm becoming passionate in it again) and forget about it. I feel like I have a limited time to put in as much story content I can before it's too late.

I have some drawings that are related to Twinkle's Story (Jamaa and the human world). I'm thinking of making posts only be related to Twinkle's Story for a little while. Haha, I'll try to keep this promise. 

About drawings, I drew a character on my iPad yesterday and today. I still have to finish coloring it, so I'll just show the head area. I loved it so much as soon as I finished coloring the face that I changed my profile picture to it. Haha, I bet I'm going to wake up hating it tomorrow. Oh well. 


The picture is appearing too big, I bet. I can't really fix that though. Oh well.

I think this is the one serious drawing of Duke by me that I don't think is ugly and gross. I drew this on my iPad too. I like this art I have created. I usually don't draw good on my iPad (or digitally in general). But man, I think this doesn't look that bad. Wow, how ironic. 

I usually forget to draw that small white spot on the right side of his nose. That's another slight difference between Duke and Fierdan. 

I drew Duke with longer hair. Wow, what an evil cutie. 

(I know Duke and Fierdan are evil characters since they've done some very bad things. But I still like to refer to them two as my character sons. I love my evil bbys ;v; heck)

 The anatomy in the rest of the drawing is probably wrong just like in that Duke picture I uploaded a few posts ago. I really like the heads though, haha. 

I don't know if it's just me being the writer, but I can sense Duke's dark badness in his face in this drawing. He looks older too. 

Duke with long and nearly black hair though. Wow, look at my son. 

Oh yeah. I also find myself drawing Duke and Fierdan's eyes as if they're wearing winged eyeliner. Haha, what a look. Mm wow. 

Ok enough of that. Next thing.

How I pronounce certain character names: 

Fierdan:
Fee - ear - d - ah - n 
(the "i" has an "ee" sound, the "fier" part is basically pronounced like "fear" but with a quick "ee" sound before saying the rest of the word "fear", he named himself this because of "fear" and "fire" in the first place) 

Jamaa:
J - uh - m - ah 
(the first "a" also sounds like "ah" but it has more emphasis on that sound in the last two "a" letters) 

Zios:
Z - eye - oh - s 
(it might be pronounced differently in the game but I pronounce the "i" as a long letter like the "i" in the word "giant") 

Mira:
M - ear - uh 
(it's pronounced the same way as saying "mira" in spanish, "mirar" is the spanish word for "look" and "mira" is it in a conjugated form, lol) 

Cincernum:
Sin - sir - numb 
(so it's like "cancer" but instead of "can" it's "sin" and after that it's pronounced "numb" but without any "b" sound of course) 

Ardere:
Are - deer 
(so it's not actually pronounced like how "yandere" and all those other words are pronounced)

Calliah: 
C - ah - lie - uh 
(the "ca" is pronounced like the letters in "call" but the "lli" sounds like "lie" so together it sounds like "call" turning into "lie" halfway through, the "ah" sounds more like "uh" than "ah") 

Taurel:
Tar - el 
(the "taur" sounds like "tar" and the rest should make sense)

Risak:
R - is - ack 
(it's pronounced like "ris-ak", the "a" sounds like the word "act") 

Hope that helped you out. Either that or I made you even more confused. Haha. 

Now onto spoilers if you haven't read Chapter 62 yet. I mean it. There's a lot of new information in that chapter. 

:-) 

~*~*~*~ 

|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|

I wasn't too sure on when to reveal the two main things discussed in Dawn's POV in Chapter 62, so I decided to just reveal it already. So in her POV, we learn more about Fierdan way back in his murdering rampage days. 

Before that chapter in Chapter 60, we also learn that Fierdan had killed a little girl. (Wow dude, you're so cruel, Fierdan. Pfft. :/). And in Chapter 60, Fierdan was remembering that day and thinking of that girl. Then he felt like he had to be punished for his actions. 

Which then brings up the topic of pain. So here Fierdan is remembering the days long ago when he somehow killed people. If you remember, Soulless was the one who constantly threatened Fierdan to kill people. But here in Chapter 60, Fierdan is thinking it's all his fault, and he even goes to Soulless without being able to protect himself and asks for Soulless to hurt him (send the electric shocks throughout his body). 

This brings up the questions regarding Fierdan and pain. Does Fierdan feel like he can only be at peace if he gets severe pain inflicted on him? Did he secretly hold in so much guilt for all these years? And like what Duke said in Chapter 62, is he attracted to abuse? I mean he wants Duke, a puppet he created with Soulless that is basically a younger version of himself, to die and lose his soul. He must really hate himself then if he wants something he created supernaturally to die. Since he can't kill himself, he's basically killing this other version of himself instead. 

Then Fierdan also gets frustrated with Soulless, and he makes some orange sparks that start orange flames appear. This means that Fierdan also has orange flames just like how Duke does. When Fierdan tells Soulless why he purposefully avoided using orange flames, it brings up the topic of Zios. Orange flames can be related to Zios. If Fierdan hates seeing (like how he saw Duke using orange flames when they first formally met) and using orange flames so much, then it brings up the topic of his father, Zios. Fierdan hating orange flames so much, which brings up the idea of how much he hates Zios. 

Then in Chapter 62, we learn that Fierdan hated Zios a whole freaking lot. Fierdan only uses his black flames. After 15+ years of him and Dawn being dropped into Jamaa, a land that started off as hell, Zios finally decides to go in to check on his son used in the project. With Soulless constantly telling Fierdan how terrible Zios is to him, Fierdan had grew up with only one other living person (Dawn) for a few years. When Fierdan and Dawn were older (in their teen years), people came to Jamaa but didn't perish this time around. These people didn't know the traumatic things Fierdan and Dawn went through when they first came to Jamaa. So here they are seeing thousands and thousands of people arrive in Jamaa looking all happy. They praise Zios, the leader of the Jamaa project, as a god. And here's Fierdan who knows that Zios took him into Jamaa when it was hell. He was the only person who survived. At least until he met Dawn who was the second and only other survivor. 

Zios basically made Fierdan lose and forget his humanity. He forgot an entire world. He was forcefully separated from his brother. Soulless, who is part Fierdan's brother, told him that Zios ordered for his wife (so Fierdan's mom) to be killed. His brother had a very close with their mom, and Zios made her die. Fierdan was too young to really remember his mom before she died though. 

Fierdan's anger at Zios combined with his brother's angry vents regarding Zios used to create Soulless made Fierdan hate Zios so much that he ended up brutally killing him when he came to visit. 

Fierdan was irrational and obsessed with violence as it was already with Soulless controlling most of what he does. 

And the other thing in Dawn's POV in Chapter 62 is her dream about her time in the human world a few years before she and Fierdan came to Jamaa. Dawn forgot about these memories from the human world.

So we learn that Dawn lost her parents. They could be dead, but she wouldn't ever know for sure. A man, Zios, found her and introduced her to his two sons. And then Dawn becomes this adopted daughter into this family. The mom was likely already dead at this point. So here Zios is claiming Dawn for himself and making her be part of their family. 

Later on, Dawn says that she wished she remained an orphan instead of Zios taking her. Which then brings up the question. Why would Dawn say that? Her time spent in the human world with Zios, Daniel, and his older brother must have been terrible if she would rather live as a loner. 

Perhaps this could tie in to why Dawn lives in an isolated area by herself in Jamaa. 

The way Zios treated Dawn made the two brothers have their rage for their father increase. So that's another reason why the brothers hated Zios. Another reason that might have contributed to Fierdan (Daniel) killing him. 

(Daddy issues, am I right? ... Shut up, Cutepups. Gosh. :/) 

As humans, the brothers' skin is a shade of tan. Yeah lol. Countries no longer exist in the time period where the story takes place, but I like to think of where my characters' relatives could have come from. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that Zios is based off an Incan god. The Incan civilization was in South America. So maybe the brothers and Zios (or maybe it's from their mom's side, I didn't decide yet) have ancestors from South America. And if Jamaa was a country, I see it as basically being the United States. Well, at least a large land area in North America. AJ is in Utah, USA, so Jamaa and United States could make some sense, right? Yeah, this is confusing. 

Anyway, onto Duke now. In his POV in Chapter 62, we learn that he had the dream that Ardere was talking about a few chapters before. Except now it's revealed that it might have been Soulless speaking for Duke when he said, "You can't kill me that easily" after being shot in the head with a gun. His eyes were entirely black and then entirely white. Soulless eye colors. 

In the beginning of the story, Duke would spend time on the Tall Tower's roof. Which makes Duke like being up high and not afraid of heights. And in Chapter 62, he flies up to relax on a high tree branch. So again here he is being away from the ground and not showing any fear of heights. 

In a way, Ardere shows that he has dysphoria. He was born a wolf, but he feels better being with foxes. He likes going to fox territory. He's the only person in Jamaa who has an Elemental Power and is a wolf. He knows that what he's doing (spending time with foxes in fox territory) is wrong. But he doesn't want to go back to being a wolf. Basically, Ardere hates and is uncomfortable in his wolf body, and he would much rather be like the other main characters who are all foxes. 

And in the 20s arc, it's revealed that Duke, on multiple occasions, went to violent extents to prevent him being shown shirtless to other people. Pretty ironic how Duke takes his shirt off all the time now, haha. Duke even mutilated the left part of his chest because he saw the flame mark as a body flaw. 

Uncomfortable with and hate a part of their bodies? Things they can't control? Duke and Ardere relatable content. 

(So no. Not gender dysphoria. Body. At least partially.) 

And then I introduce a new POV in Chapter 62- Risak. He was the guy who worked with Taurel, and they're both obsessed with tracking down Duke so they can torture him. Risak is with the wolf leader, Ardere's father, and they make a deal. Risak helps Ardere's father find Ardere, and the wolf father must help Risak and a few other people not yet specified find Duke. If you forgot, Ardere's father is annoyed with Ardere. So there's a father and son hatred going on with them too. 

So now we have two main characters being hunted down- Duke and Ardere. Yet another thing the two of them have in common. Their growing bond though. Cute. 

Ardere even says, "Lightning is similar to fire." Their two Elemental Powers. Ah, my boys. I love Ardere too. 

Me: Ardere doesn't deserve what's going to happen to him.
You viewers: What doesn't he deserve?
Me: He doesn't deserve it. I'm so mean. 
You viewers: What doesn't Ardere deserve?
Me: Their bond. Oh god, Duke. Poor boys.
You viewers: Tell us what you mean, Cutepups.
Me: ... *thinks too much and starts crying* 
You viewers: Crybaby.

That's it for this post. Bye.

~ Cutepups