Happy Leap Day 2020

Hi there! Today is February 29th. Which means it’s Leap Day! 

....... *insert picture of a frog here*

............... 🐸 

......................... that’s supposed to be a frog emoji lol

Anyway. I’ve been using this blog for years. I made a Leap Day post back in 2016. And can I just say?- dang, my posts back then were depressing. 

Haha nice. Have another February 29th post on this blog. 

I’m procrastinating. Oops. 

I’ll hopefully return with more posts after I read more of the things I have to read for my classes. 

Ahem..:

• The Great Gatsby

• No Good Men Among the Living

That’s the books I’m planning on reading a significant amount of today.

Books. So many books... 

I might make at least one post full of pictures later today. No promises though. 

Ok, ok. Back to reading I go!~

‘Later. ;D

~ Shan 

02/02/2020 (poem)

Hi, I’m here with a poem post. 

I had so much energy the night I made that last post. Geez. 

And now I’m tired. College is wearing me out. 

Anyway, this poem is about February 2nd. 

Which should be pretty obvious. 

Ok. Yeah.

——————————

02/02/2020

the second day of

the second month of

the start of

the second decade of

the century.

02/02/2020.

groundhog's day.

winter's coming.

will it stay or

will it go?

poor groundhog is afraid of

its own shadow.

fearful groundhog,

afraid of the world.

my little tuxedo cat

watches the groundhog on tv.

then the focus shifts to her.

little tuxedo cat,

the family celebrates your birthday

in early february.

the second of february.

happy birthday, my dear cat.

happy birthday, thelma.

february the second—

a day worth celebrating.

———————————

:-)

hi i'm ______ + no context nonsense

Hi, I'll be including pictures in this post. Nice.

I ended up going off-topic in the last post. Whoops. I guess you could say I got carried away.

Story 1 is so messed up. Geez.

My lovely, cursed characters! ;D

Anyway, I'm going to try and create my music playlists for Sparkle and C./Calliah soon. My lists of songs for them is starting to get long.

The one for C./Calliah shares songs from most of my other playlists (*cough* Duke/Fierdan, Ryen, Dawn) which makes sense. Since C. is their mother and Calliah is Duke's.

Meanwhile, I think Sparkle's is entirely different. XD

Now on with the main point of this post (before the silliness)!*

--------------------------------------------------------------

*breathes in*
*breathes out*
o k a y

I just want to talk about (clarify?) some things regarding myself. As always, I'm writing this post in a "stream of consciousness" way. Will things go deep? Perhaps.

Well, here goes.

Hi, I go by a few names; the ones I go by most often online these days are: Shan, Spirit, and in respects to the origins of this blog, Cutepups.

Shan is most like my birth name, which I've mentioned here before. So, uh, well.......

At first, I wasn't taking Shan that seriously as a name. I just regarded it as my birth name minus a few letters. And yeah, that is true. But ok. Here's the thing.

I've grown attached to calling myself Shan. I like how it sounds. It makes me feel good in my own skin, so to speak. No, I don't hate my birth name; it's just that I like hearing Shan. Thinking people are calling me Shan (maybe I'm not hearing them properly lol), calling myself Shan... it just feels good.

On another note... wanna see my ring? Well, one of them. Haha.

Here it is!

(ignore my hand lol just focus on the ring)

Here's one of the rings I got for Hanukkah! :D

If you didn't know, I was so so happy to get this ring. Why, you ask? Well, you see......

It's supposed to be my aromantic ring. If you don't know what aromantic means, you can look it up yourself. 

But I'll briefly explain what an "aro ring" is. 

Aro rings are white or silver, and they can be any type of ring. The rings are worn on the middle finger of the left hand. That's why I'm wearing my ring on that finger.

My ring is silver and is in the shape of an arrow. One of the symbols of aromanticism in the aromantic community is arrows. 

And so, I call it my "arrow aro ring". :)

This past week was also Aromantic (Spectrum) Awareness Week. I know I'm late to the party, but here I am! 

Moving on now......~

I'm taking a few literature courses at university, so I have to read a lot. Maybe I'll make a post (or few) where I'll just ramble/rant about the books I had to read. I'm not in the mood to do that now.

This past evening was so good. I felt genuinely happy. I was in a good mood. And I still am... except I'm a lot more tired now, haha.

I had to go to an event where I had to dress up. Not fancy-fancy; more formal dress than a T-shirt and jeans. So I found a nice white top, and I liked wearing it. I also had my contacts in and found it easier to put on makeup than before. I rarely wear makeup, but I felt like putting on a little makeup for the event. 

So I did that. There, I socialized with friends. Which was pretty entertaining. Some of them are wild. Oh geez. XD

Then later on, I was in a video call with my sister and parents. So... yeah lol. 

I don't want to make this post drag on and on, so I'll now conclude the serious part of it.

Hi, I'm... happy. 

:) 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Time for nonsense! Silliness! Time to go berserk! Let chaos unfold! 

........ and by that, I mean that I'll be inserting pictures from Episode stories I've played/read without explaining what's going on. 

Oh boy, this will be fun! >:D

*brings out the pics*

~*~*~*~*~*~

1st Episode story (male version, then female version): "Bad to the Bone" by Lee Funk. (aka God Killer! Fierdan AU story)

lmao 

and the female version:

Danielle = female! Fierdan

(Danielle ... Daniel — yeah.)

-x-x-x-

2nd Episode story: "Wings of Light" by How_Novel. (aka possible Dukle (DukeXTwinkle) story?)

This story uses ink; the others use something called limelight. 

Stella = Twinkle

Anyone remember that ship from back in the day? Dukle? Duke and Twinkle shipped together? That ship I made canon? Yeah boi. What a classic. Bi/Ace solidarity! *claps*

Uh, what? They are. Yes.

-x-x-x-

3rd Episode story: "My Alien Lover" by Anyanka. (This one isn't connected to my characters, but I made the male main character kind of look like Fierdan but off-color Yes, I gave Fierdan an unofficial Episode look. Hopefully, you'll understand by the end of this post what that look is. *winks at my computer screen*)

their faces lmao 

-x-x-x-

4th Episode story: "Counting Sheep" by Piccalily. (aka casual school AU for Duke/Fierdan. The main male character I play as is both Duke and Fierdan because I said so. oh and it is also gay. of course.)

The Fierdan-looking character is Danny. Because that sounds like a more ordinary name. Because... school AU. 

That look in the second picture. Omg. Danny's face. That knowing look. Boi, you gay. Well, you're bi. But hey, you're a boy who likes boys. Which is pretty gay if you ask me. lol

The blond boy who is Cameron is supposed to kinda be like my Finny character but if he possibly has a romantic crush on Duke. I mean Danny. lol that's gay

Cameron (aka Finny): *sighs* This really doesn't count as our first date, does it? 

Hmm. Is he hesitant, afraid to verify the friendship turning into romance as well? Or is he sighing because he's disappointed. Like idk, "*sigh* first date? I just wanted to hang out with my dude, Danny; I hope I didn't give him the wrong idea like I'm gay or something." lol

Episode is a wonderful app! XD

Well, I'm going to end this post here. 

Time for me to go to sleep. Good night.

Finny music playlist (and more~)

Hi, it is I. :)

I have returned. Back to college. Obviously.

About eyes—

(wait, what?)

Anyway. Well, you see...

(huh?)

I finally got contacts! I can wear them outside of the eye exam office now!

Being able to properly see without wearing glasses. Well, this is new for me.

Yay, I did it! :D

Ok, ok, ok. Now onto the main point of this post...

I created a playlist for Finny on Spotify!

Finny music playlist

I decided to name it "in-Finn-ite or Finn-ite" lol. It's pronounced as "infinite or finite" and uh, it reminds me of this character for some reason.

Infinite? Finite? Infinity? Not-infinity? lol who knows??

Hahaha oh yes Cutepups does in fact listen to more than just emo punk guys-screaming rock music~

I felt like Finny was giving me a sign that he listens to songs from the early 2010's, so I listened to some songs from then that I haven't heard in years.

And then that got so much worse when I was writing down a list of songs for Sparkle's playlist in my Notes. Oh geez. Sparkle's playlist is so different than my other ones. At least I think so. XD

Uh... Now I'm going to explain some things. Yeah sure.

I'm not sure what I'm doing with Sparkle's playlist, but for Finny's, I'm basing the songs on how he is in the story more than in skits.

And no offense lol but Finny is kind of an asshole. He and Sparkle are characters you're supposed to dislike and be frustrated with. Like, ahem, they betray and kind of become Duke's enemies (without Duke knowing, of course lol). Oh and they're part of the "popular kids" group at school.

I felt like adding a bunch of breakup-like songs to Finny's playlist. Because... oof. This guy sure has suffered heartbreak. *cough* even though the relationships aren't that great *cough*

Here's a list of stuff:

1) Finny and Duke become friends from meeting in school.
2) They hang out a lot at Finny's house to do things like homework/studying, writing poems/songs, and singing them. (because why not lol)
3) They become best friends. (well duh)
4) At some point, Duke starts having a crush on Finny. Finny, an oblivious fool, has no idea.
5) Finny starts dating a bitchy girl at school who I first called Admiral for some reason. Her real name isn't Admiral lol. Anyway, she's a bitch.
6) Their relationship becomes kind of toxic. Finny doesn't understand that Admiral is using him.
7) One night when Duke is hanging out with Finny, he pretty much calls him out by saying things like Admiral is using him, she doesn't really love him, and she's intentionally making him spend less time around his friends (ahem, Duke). Ah yes, Duke disaster boy has some logic.
8) Then when Duke becomes more upset over the Finny and Admiral relationship, he ends up reminding Finny that they're best friends. One thing leads to another and Duke tells Finny to end the relationship and that he loves him. Duke pretty much tells Finny he loves him... as something like "more than friends" yadayadayada.
9) Finny becomes upset at Duke for all of that and pretty much kicks him out of his house. Also, Finny is straight.
10) It turns out Duke is right. He is a smart boy. Not too long after that night at Finny's house, Admiral is no longer "interested" in Finny, so she breaks up with him like whatever idc. Finny is hurt after the breakup because Admiral was just using him for her to get closer to Duke. Admiral really wants to date Duke. Of course, Duke doesn't like Admiral. Ahem, after what she did to Finny? No thanks. Oh and Admiral likes to bully Twinkle. Even though Duke and Twinkle didn't really talk to each other that much at school yet, he doesn't like how Admiral bullies her. Duke and Twinkle just don't bother each other, really. They're just two students at a school. Whatever.

-and-

11) Oh and in order for Duke to be at that school, he was forced out of his parents' house, and he stays at his aunt's house. So then he lives with his cousin, Sparkle, and goes to the same school as her. (The aunt is Duke's father's sister, which means Sparkle, her daughter, isn't related to Calliah.)
12) Duke pretty much only hangs out with Finny and Sparkle at school. He doesn't have time to deal with school drama.
13) When Sparkle is away from the two boys, she likes to tease Twinkle. She doesn't insult and bully Twinkle as severely as Admiral does, but she still makes Twinkle feel bad about herself.

[content warning]

14) During this whole thing, Duke is secretly still hurting himself (self-harm behaviors) and attempting suicide a few times, and he also steals alcohol behind people's backs. He's addicted to destroying himself since that's basically how Calliah raised him. However, Duke is very good at showing no signs on any of this when he's out in public (like in school) or when he's hanging out with Finny. He still appears like a decent, ordinary kid. Who is happy.....

-back to Finny lol-

15) Some time later, Finny and Sparkle start dating. Their relationship lasts a lot longer than Finny and Admiral's relationship.
16) Does Duke even know about their relationship? It's a mystery...

blah blah blah

And then comes the part when Finny and Sparkle start becoming assistants for Taurel, and they basically betray Duke.

oh hmm :/

Eventually, Finny thinks Taurel and Risak are being too harsh and extreme. They want to do some pretty fucked up things to Duke. Taurel hates Duke because he sees Duke as the "reincarnation of Fierdan" and that isn't accurate lol Taurel is stupid.

Taurel also got Calliah because he somehow knows that she abused Duke. He wants her to work for them to break Duke. Yeah, it's messed up.

(oh wow, I didn't ramble about story 1 in so long.)

Calliah doesn't like Taurel or Risak. By the way, Taurel is crazy. It turns out that Calliah and Taurel are both sadists. How lovely!

Taurel even amputates his left hand after he accidentally breaks it. Then he calls himself the One-Handed Savior which stinks of narcissism.

Oh and here's how Calliah and Taurel first met: Taurel works for the government. Not high up in the government though. He's like a guard... to a jail. So is Risak, but he doesn't matter. Calliah becomes involved in the process of being imprisoned where she meets Taurel who interrogates her. One thing leads to another and she tells him about Duke (how he's her son; not everything she knows about Fierdan) and admits that she abused Duke and killed her husband. She's there because she's been convicted of murder. So that's why. Sure.

Anyway, Finny can't take the brutality anymore, so he refuses to work for Taurel anymore. Risak or Taurel become so upset at this news that they hit Finny. Calliah goes to Finny's defense, and they escape from Taurel and Risak somehow.

Sparkle still agrees with Taurel and Risak. She thinks that Duke deserves to be broken. Or maybe she's afraid to say her opinion on the matter.

Because of their disagreement on how to deal with the Duke-Fierdan situation, Finny and Sparkle break up.

Time passes. Sparkle also thinks that Duke can escape Fierdan's influence and become his own person like he was when he was still in school. At this point, school-Duke and Duke now is completely different. His hair is longer and darker (all black) now. He no longer pretends to be "normal" and "happy"... ahem, Duke is pretty fucked up himself. And he fucks himself up.

When Sparkle and Duke meet again, Duke accepted that: he's the combination of Fierdan and Soulless, that he isn't really human, that his father wanted to kill him but Calliah stopped him.

Sparkle and Duke's father are on the same side of the Duke family tree. Hey, maybe Sparkle agrees with his dad? Who knows what's going on?

Sparkle approaches Duke with Taurel and Risak. They eventually fight. Like, an actual physical fight.

Sparkle thinks she can separate Duke from Fierdan. She doesn't understand that they're kind of the same person. No reincarnation though (lol stupid Taurel).

And then they battle in the forest. lol

Duke, Dawn, Ardere vs. Taurel, Risak, Sparkle

It ends with: Ardere suffering from a fatal gunshot wound (Taurel shot him; he planned on doing that, betraying Ardere's father who's also there and not involved in the fight; Taurel used Ardere's father ... since everything's so messy, Duke initially thinks that Risak killed Ardere; only later does he find out Taurel killed Ardere).

It also ends with: Duke being weak after the fight. Seeing Ardere die weakens him even more. To Duke, it feels like his little brother was shot. Ardere was a symbol of hope and innocence for Duke... and he was killed. There is no justice in this broken world. Duke doesn't give a shit anymore. He doesn't bother holding back anymore. But, oh no, Duke is too weak. Sparkle runs away. Where does she go? I don't know. Taurel and Risak succeed in taking Duke, who's close to passing out at this point, hostage.

*insert torture arc as coming up next*

Oh wait, where's Finny? Where did he go?

At this point in the story, Finny is with Calliah. They're on their way to meet with an unknown character. Hopefully, the person they go to see will help them stop Taurel's brutality. Oh, this man is insane...

So many characters in story 1 are insane...

The madness...

Gotta love playing the game of living in Z's project world. Gotta love how his sons destroy it. >:') ... Fierdan (duh) and Soulless (who Ryen "created"). As the final "fuck you" to Z. :^)

.............. and that's story 1. What a wild ride!

*blames Z for everything* >:(

I feel kind of nostalgic writing all this story 1 stuff down. I started to miss this crazy story.

hahahahahahahahaha

Bye.

oh yeah mm

Hi. This post is gonna be real short. 

Because I said so. 

I’m still home. Well, for now anyways. 

I have a lot to read these days. Well, that’s expected. Not a surprise there. 

Uh.........

I saw the movie, Parasite, with my dad the other day. And can I just say— Whoa! Oh my god! Dang! Damn! Ahh! 

Ok. Yeah. I liked it. So good. Yes. :D

And then for dinner that day, my parents and I went to a nice, local restaurant. That was.. nice. 

...... I’m tired, ok? My choice in words isn’t that great. lol I know. 

What else? Oh yeah lol that. Yes... 

I’m working on organizing a few more Spotify playlists for my characters. I started jotting down a list of songs for new playlists in my Notes app. 

I still have to decide on what to title these playlists on Spotify though. I’m stuck. :( 

I started playlists for Finny and Sparkle. 

And I’m considering starting one for C / Calliah as well. In one playlist. Because I’d prefer it that way. 

Since they’re not my main characters (ahem, protagonists), I don’t think of them as often as the characters I already made playlists for. 

So, ahem, these new playlists I’m working on don’t really give off the same or a similar vibe to my already existing playlists. 

There’s different music this time around. Wait and see... 

I don’t know what to title my playlist for Finny or the one for Sparkle. Hmm, I’ll have to think of something. I need better ideas. Come on, brain, think of something good. 

So yeah. I felt like giving you guys a heads up. 

~ Cutepups 

Valentine Palentine

It’s Valentine’s Day! <3

And since I’m not a single who’s bitter over not having a significant other (I mean, a boyfriend *rolls eyes*), it’s also known as Palentine’s Day. 

Pal.. we are pals. Friends. Buddies. 

Be my palentine... ;w; 

(Autocorrect, please,, Do Not.) 

Ok! So. 

I traveled home today. I’m home now. For Valentine’s Day and Presidents Weekend. Yeah. Nice. 

I get to be with my pets again! Yay. :) 

I love them. ;v; 

I’ve been ignoring all romance regarding Valentine’s Day, except when it comes to...

• Fierdan X J___

• Duke X Twinkle (Dukle - my first story otp be like,,)

• Sparkle X Finny (yeah yeah, they broke up. but I like thinking of their relationship. idk why. it’s cute. their ship name is cute. it’s Spinny.)

Aww, look at these lovers. Being in love. Mm. 

*zones out for a hot minute*

Unpopular Opinion: I’m aro and I don’t absolutely hate Valentine’s Day. 

It’s ok. The holiday has its flaws, but I don’t hate it. 

Hmm... :I 

I have more to say, but I’ll say it later. 

Bye for now. 

~ Cutepups <3

Daniel and the Lions (Fierdan)

In case anyone read the latest skit part and thought, “What is Fierdan (Daniel?) saying?” I am here to kind of explain it. 

Yeah, I made him go there. Yep. Cutepups is a bad influence. I’m so bad. :-(

Just kidding. I do whatever I want. >:U 

Fierdan = Daniel 

Fierdan = Daniel 

Got that? Good. 

Ahem, ahem. *adds this*

[Disclaimer: The following views are those of my original character. It does not mean I share the same views as him— or any other characters of mine.]

——————————— 

For a while, I’ve been connecting Fierdan (and Duke) to lions and wolves. Which, yeah, isn’t that creative, but I do whatever I want. If they’re animals, they would be like a lion or a wolf. 

And hey, would you look at that? Fierdan’s other name is Daniel, and there’s that whole Daniel and the lions thing. So that got me thinking: What if I make him bring it up somehow? And here we are. 

So the new Daniel skit character said this: “My name is Daniel, and I have finally come out of the lions’ den. I tamed all the beasts. They have succumbed to my authority. I have written my own Book of Daniel, but I am no prophet. I defy God.”

Yeah. I made him say that. 

Of course, my Daniel character is nothing like the Daniel I made my character made a reference to. 

This might be the most religious thing Fierdan has ever said. He’s referring to religious text. 

And in the same breath, he speaks blasphemy. 

Yeah, Fierdan/Daniel (whichever name you prefer to use for him) is just that kind of guy. If he ever gets to talking about religion and God, he’ll be against them. Like, he’ll be full-out anti-religion and anti-God/anti-gods. 

Hmm. “Anti-gods” reminds me of that Episode story. Haha yeah. He just be like that. 

I can see Fierdan not liking Christianity in particular. I can just picture him hating religious extremists, hypocritical Christians who preach hatred more than love/kindness/peace, and I think he would be totally against the whole idea of God. 

Honestly, I don’t think any of this is a surprise. But I don’t know; he’s my own character. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now. So, hey, I don’t know. Is this really that surprising? I can’t tell. 

............ he’s referring to this: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_in_the_lions%27_den

............ hmm ok. 

Boy, you sure have a blasphemous tongue saying this. Not like you give a damn, Fierdan. 

He really went out there and said this as one of his first lines. “I have written my own Book of Daniel, but I am no prophet. I defy God.” 

Just.. wow. Dang. 

There is a Book of Daniel, actually. I didn’t even double check before I wrote that skit line. So, guess I was lucky. Or something. Whatever.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Daniel

Yeah. That.

And yes. Fierdan/Daniel is an atheist and anti-theist. 

But when he grows older (late 20’s and later), he becomes less bitter and hateful about it and is just an atheist. 

He doesn’t believe in God or gods. He never does.

No one can change his mind.

I’m going to conclude this post now. 

Again, I’ll say that I don’t share all of the same beliefs as Fierdan. He has strong beliefs and can push to the extremes when it comes to certain issues. 

That’s my man. :’) 

Bye for now. 

~ Cutepups c;