... ... ...

Just wanted to clarify. That.. uh.. well......

When I was editing the ending of the last post and adding some things, I got the news. 

You know what? I’m just going to say it. 

During that time, my mom texted me that Sunshine passed away. 

Yeah. She’s uh.. not here anymore. She died Monday night. 

My family and I are grieving. Maybe I’ll add more details here in another post. I don’t want to get all into it now. 

I was emotionally numb. I cried. My body hurt. My heart and stomach hurt. 

Oh and my tailbone pain is gone now. I told my friends about it, and one said it might have been connected to my dog’s health and how she’s dying. 

I think that friend was right. The days leading up to Sunshine’s death, when she was at her worst state, my tailbone was hurting the most. After I learned that Sunshine had died, my tailbone pain began to go away. Maybe my body was telling me that she was dying. I.. I don’t know. The connection between my dog and my body, both in pain, still haunts me. 

Yeah. It really messed me up. :’(

I’m having a hard time focusing on things like my classes. I can’t stop thinking about her and how she’s gone. 

She’s been with me since I was 5. I barely remember anything from my life when she wasn’t in it. Before she entered my family’s life.

At least she’s not in pain anymore. She was hurting so much. 

Yeah. I guess that clarifies some things. I was talking about past tense at the end of the last post since she just recently died. 

I just.. it’s gonna take a while for me to get over it. I don’t think I’ll ever get over her. 

I love her. My family loves her. We love her. 

My family members at home tried to keep her comfortable until her final moments. 

Yeah. Maybe I’ll vent later. I don’t know. 

I don’t know anything anymore except there’s an empty space in my heart and in my home where she used to be. With her body and presence. Now only her memory and spirit remains. 

;-; ;~; 

Sunshine: 4/3/2005 - 9/7/2020

Goodbye. </3