What's Going On

Hey guys, I'm back. Well, for the time being anyway. I can't really make an actual lengthy post for today (gotta study for that exam tomorrow), so this is good enough.

(Edit: It actually is a lengthy post. XD)

Anyway, to those of you who know my DA, I'm sorry if we miscommunicated at all and for me just bringing all of you so much of my annoying and dramatic negativity. Okay, maybe not dramatic to you guys, but to me it kinda is. Sorry if I lashed out at anybody by what I said in my last journal on there. Yeah, I'm being more active on there than here nowadays. So yeah, back onto the blogging side of things.

If you haven't seen already, I made 2 posts on my other blogs (one on each). Read them if you want or if you're interested, I don't really care. Find them to the right of the blog. -->> and then down.

I'm not too happy today either. School is just a drag, y'know? I probably got a bad grade on a test I took today.. woo, more negativity :/. Add 1 exam and 2 more tests tomorrow.. yippee :/.

So anyway onto other things since I bet most of you (*cough* silent viewers *cough*) don't really care about my complaints and sufferings (oh boy), I saw (due to the few still active AJ blogs on my Blogger Dashboard) today's RIM. I swear that item was a RIM before.. but it was member..? Yeah, I probably forgot it in place of a similar item or something. Oh well.

I wanted to draw this stick-figure doodle for the RIM, but I'm just way too tired lately. Maybe that has to do with all the negativity I've been posting about myself recently *ding, ding, ding!*. Like, sleep next to Thelma (my stupid tuxedo cat.. yes, she is quite stupid.. and smart.. never mind XD). And like stroke her fur as she purrs and kneads my pillow. Um yes, I do that, she does that.. Thelma is my kitty. :3

Wow, that paragraph changed topic and mood rather quickly. 0.0

I had a scary-weird (well, all my dreams are weird.. yours too) dream last night. So, ya idk man, I was this character in this cliche horror film. Like that depressed girl with sleek black hair with purple highlights wearing all black in this specific style outfit. Yeah, so I was that type of girl. And then I was in her bedroom (oh wait, she's like royalty or something.. that place looked fancy) sitting at his grand fancy desk with all them engravings and fancy stuff like embroidery all over the large brown desk. That desk was huge. So then it was in the middle of the night, and I (this depressed dark girl in most cliche depressing/horror films) was sitting there at the desk with this piece of paper and with a feathered quill and a bottle of ink. Then the moonlight shimmered into the bedroom because all else was dark. Then I wrote this poem. It said in the girl's fancy handwriting:

"I don't know why

But I want to die

Ok bye."

Wow, that's a depressing poem. But it rhymes! So then me as this girl stayed awake for the rest of the night. Then I (the girl) woke up to Black Raven from my Twinkle's Story in raven-form sitting on top of the poem. Now that raven said many inspirational things. I love her. She is Twinkle's sassy EP pet. Like, what isn't there to love? So anyway, Black Raven basically saved the girl's life and mine (who was in the girl's body). So then the girl became less depressed/suicidal, and befriended the raven. Then we were in the girl's living room (so fancy), and we watched this movie. So it started out as like that trailer for Twinkle's Story/TEO I have in my head. So like the characters started out by walking on this tightrope thing. Wait no, it was this sequel thing. So then all the Extraordinary Others (you don't understand any of this, haha it's okay) had their feet walking on the tightrope. In this straight line. So suspenseful, man, so suspenseful. Then we were in the magical academy which is where the story of Violet and Teal (yeah, from my DA) takes place. 

Yeah, you think there's more to that dream, but that's basically it. That's basically all that happened. Yeah, strange dream it was. Well, okay then.

So there's your entertainment from me to you for today. 

Oh wait, almost forgot something! So anyway, I might be changing around some stuff on the blog. This blog I mean. Like, ok idk, I just want to make this blog more, um, "general" and about whatever for the time being. More "general".. like, idk, topics that are more general, personal.. I can't explain anything today. Might be removing/adding gadgets as well. I don't know yet, sorry.

I'm fine, don't bother worrying about me. 

Bye.

~ Cutepups

Edit: My computer finally stopped with its fake "updating" from last Friday (or was it Thursday?)! X3 

Trash Post at its Finest

Hello strangers. This post is trash at its finest. You have been warned.

. . . . . . .

I had this daydream the other day. It was just of this 3 second gif of Fierdan breathing. Like, just breathing. Just casually breathing. It was really intense and suspenseful. He was also just standing next to this white wall with nothing else there. It was so interesting. Seriously for like reals.

Then later on, I had that same daydream. But when the 3 second gif usually repeats itself, Fierdan turns into Danny (basically him as human). And then Danny breathes. And then the gif flips so his brother is breathing now. It was very intense, guys. For like reals. Breathing causes so many feels.

Then in another completely different daydream, Danny's brother (lol I still don't have a proper name for him) went to this bar with one of the creepy government adult dudes. Because, I don't know, he's like 21 or something. Their ages confuse me greatly.

In another one, Duke was in this recording studio. And Finny tried but failed to take Duke out of that glass box thing in the recording studio. So then Duke responded by singing in the tune of Deadman Wonderland's opening song, "Slowly losing my humanity and turning into a fox's insanity!". Or did Fierdan say that? I forgot. XD

Oh and my dad randomly drove me to PetSmart today. So there was this kitten there sleeping in his litterbox. There was also this cute little black and white snake climbing up a wall in its tank, and then it started slithering on the top of its tank (on the inside of course). Then it suddenly slipped and fell. It then slithered to the front of the tank, stared at me and my dad, and sniffed with its black tongue. There was also this bearded dragon that was in this dance-like pose as it leaned against the glass in the front of the tank. My dad also taught me how to do basic driver functions when I sat in the driver's seat, and also helped me review for my driver's written test on Tuesday (aka a test where if you don't get a specific high score, you're screwed).

..........

Serious jumble of crud now. (Wow, my mind wanders around a lot.. what the heck.)

For a while now, especially after making all these vent posts, I've been regretting making posts. I'll probably regret posting this too. Gosh, these posts embarrass me so much. I'm always self-conscious of what types of comments I'll get on my posts now. Yeah, I don't know why I'm like this either, man.

Actually, I'm just bored of (Blogger) blogging in general. I don't have anything to focus on anymore. So I just end up making these cruddy posts which I instantly regret making the minute I publish them. Not gonna ever delete them or draft them because I said so. I'm more active on DeviantArt than on here nowadays. I also have quite a few stressful tests this upcoming week, so I'm not gonna be that daily blogger. Like, I don't know guys, my interest in blogging on my Blogger blogs has just faded away. (Either that, or it's just my depressing thoughts again...)

(I feel as though I'm being edgy in those recent vents, and that you're all judging me behind your computer and phone screens. Ugh, you guys don't hate me, right? *cough* not asking that one hater *cough*)

Kinda on that topic, I don't know why I'm like this either. I always feel and think that I'm lonely and no one cares about me. I constantly think this, but I know it's not true at all. I have my family, you guys, my true IRL friends that actually talk to me and text me. But I always feel like I'm isolated from those around me and you guys too. And I know it's my fault for feeling this way because I caused this to happen. I know as a fact I'm not lonely, but I can't help thinking that I am. *sigh* me in general...

Oh and I'm so ironic with my story. So, you all know how Twinkle's Story focuses on romance a lot, right? Well, haha, in real life, I'm not that interested in romance novels that much. Or, like, romance that much in general. Not really.. kind of? Not that sure. So, um haha, don't think I'm obsessed with romance IRL just because of my writings. Cuz I'm not. Like, okay guys, you don't know how awkward it is for me when my friends text me asking dating advice. I don't really know what to tell them what to do, haha. And then the annoying classmates talking about their sexual fantasies. This one girl talked about hers in great detail (O_O). Yeah, don't ask, man. Please don't.. some classmates are just.. ick.

I'm so ironic lol.

Yeah, my thoughts wander a lot. XD

Ew tests ew

Okay bye, strangers who I call some my best friends even though I don't know them that well. 

(Just face it, I'm weird.)

<3

~ Cutepups|Blue|S

Random lyric time for no reason at all! XD

"You can't wake up, this is not a dream, you're part of a machine, you are not a human being... Low on self-esteem."~ "Gasoline" by Halsey.

Why do I love this line so much now, and feel connected to it? Haha, yeah... :'D

Goodbye.~

These Songs Though

Hi, I am back. ^-^

Look at that face.

(*DailyPuppy.com*)

Isn't that face silly and adorable? (Yes. :3)

So, the weather where I am is pretty weird. It's November, and today (Friday) it was nearly 80 degrees (Fahrenheit). The weather's so warm now. Haha, I don't know.

Now I'm gonna spam you with songs. They're all found on YouTube, and I don't own them in any way or form. 

Yeah, deal with it. 

Just.. this song. Yes. <3

"We're Taking Over"~ Bea Miller

So, um, yeah that's the random song. XD

So anyway, recently I've been listening to some songs. Anyway, these songs have reminded of so many spoilers in TEO (especially the sequels.. but not all of them). And, gosh, those spoiler feels. ;o; ;-;

Oh and no, not explaining why. Nope, nada, not at all. No. Only I can understand why *insert evil laugh here*.

Oh and the songs are all in random order. Not in any event order or anything. These also are songs I didn't post on here before. They also remind me of so many fandoms...

So yeah, the songs. ;)

"Don't Go"~ Bring Me The Horizon

"Still Here"~ Digital Daggers

"Wires"~ The Neighbourhood

"Dead Hearts"~ Stars

"Youth"~ Daughter

Haha, yeah. Well, that's all the songs I'll spam you all with for now. Love you, bye.

Sketch This iPad Drawing

Hi guys, I'm back for another post. Oh and before anyone asks, I'm still on this kinda hiatus. Um yeah, blogging isn't as interesting that much nowadays. And also because I'm, well, me for crying out loud.

So anyway, there's this thing on DeviantArt: http://heidi.deviantart.com/journal/Introducing-Sketch-This-Daily-Drawing-Challenges-567929936. It's basically this thing introducing and advertising this app called "Sketch This". So, my point is, I downloaded the app on my iPad and drew a little picture. 

Hehe, I don't think I ever posted a digital drawing besides being drawn on the computer before. So instead of using a computer mouse, I used my finger. :3

Anyway, I drew this on there. c:

And here is what the program looks like. Well, that's what I think so anyways. ^-^'

~*~*~*~

On a completely different note, I decided I would do this new segment sometimes. You all probably know how I've been feeling down and negative a lot recently. To my viewers I speak with often, I know you have also been feeling down and negative. And to the rest of you? This is in case if any of you guys are also feeling down, and are too afraid to tell me or whatever. 

Basically, I'm gonna link to other websites that provide support and help to anyone that hasn't been feeling their best lately. I did a few of the activities on some of the links I'll post about. I suggest checking them out sometime!

Well, I'll start that in another post. 

That's all for now. Bye! <3

~ Cutepups 

...

Hi guys.

I made up my mind. I will make a public email, but I won't check it, as actively, as the other sites you guys know me on. I don't know yet. I just keep on feeling more and more lonely, so yeah. Email it is.

With probably a cruddy email address like my personal ones.. except without the personal stuff. Haha.. I'm trash.

Now time for Cutepups' cruddy thoughts at the moment! *cough*

It always happens. Every, freaking, time. Every flipping book (novel, I mean) read for school has an ending that never, like um, satisfies the reader. The question you ask yourself while reading the novel never gets a straight answer in the ending. What you want to find out, but never do. It's in every novel for school. And this just kills me (oh god, I'm sounding like the narrator lol). They always leave you hanging by a freaking rope over a cliff. Gah, it's just so annoying. 

I also think I'm one of the only students in my class that actually doesn't fully hate the narrator. Sure, you've gotta hate him for some things he did, but overall? Yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this. Like now, especially after feeling like sh-- crap so much recently, I kinda get where his ideas are coming from. Well, barely. But I kinda do. Life is like a big "ugh". That's just how it is really.

(Lol that school book had constant swearing. >;) )

Also, how the heck do people draw with lots of detail? How the hell do they do it? I can't. Yeah, I know I suck.

(I don't need your pity or your sympathy or your empathy or your bs or whatever, I'm just posting this here like my virtual journal.)

On a random other topic, you all know how I'm so mean to Duke/Fierdan now, right? Well, now I'm being mean to Twinkle.. and this other character none of you really know about yet either. Gah, in the sequels I really give it to her. Him too, but her? Tons. Gah.. I'm so cruel to my characters. >:D 

Oh and I made green and red fire in another class. It was so cool. Really, it was pretty awesome. c:

I also think I'm allergic (okay, not really that word lol but still) to heat and bright lights (particularly from the sun). Just heat really. But still. Okay, I'm effed up in so many ways guys.. seriously. Like, just bring me to this room that's very warm and bright, and then lecture on and on about it. Oh and it's hot? Well, I don't cope too hot (lol pun.. and from that novel I just told you about) with that. The cold, fine. The (high, extreme) heat, no. Nope. It makes me feel like I'm dying. 

I'm not even kidding it really does. (God, I sound so much like that narrator when I'm typing this. XD)

I kinda did, kinda didn't have like an attack because of all that heat and bright lights. I wouldn't call it a seizure, but it kinda was? Like it was only for a minute or two (thank god), and nothing too bad happened. But I kinda didn't feel that well for that like one minute. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I suddenly became very hot (sweaty hot, not attractive of course lol). Like burning (not literally of course lol) hot. (Why the hell am I telling you guys this anyways? XD). Then my stomach felt a tiny bit weird, and I felt like I was deaf (oh, good school days of Cutepups the Loner, amirite? //sarcasm). Then I was randomly just shakily pacing around in circles. My classmates next to me probably thought I went mad, haha.. it's not funny. But, my god, I probably looked so awkward. And when the teacher came back after leaving for a few seconds. Goddammit my awkwardness. Then a few more seconds after that, I heard from a (magical o3o) distance away (aka a few feet away) someone ask if I was okay. And then I stopped walking in circles around myself like I was possessed by a demon (cue Soulless XD), and paid attention back to the class (we were in this outdoor classroom area.. such glass.. yes, glass). Then my hearing came fully back a minute later, and we saw rainbows through the glass square thing aimed at the light bulbs above. Yeah, that was my highlight from today. I know I'm lame. I mean suck.

I'm such a fail as you can all infer by this happening to me. All interesting events schoolwise happen in chemistry class. I talk about that class a lot on here. I hate school, why do I constantly bring it up on here? What is wrong with me and my logic? XD 

Now, um, discuss kind stuff in the comments. Talk to me. Not right now since I have a few more answers to finish for homework and get ready for bed, but still. I really appreciate it when you're there just commenting whatever. I really do.

Your One and Lonely (I also mean Only) Blue Mystical Spirit Pup,

~ Cutepups 

(Or, like, you can just call me S.)

Heh...

Hi guys. I'm actually typing this on my computer. I haven't been on my computer ever since the last post I made when I said I was. So around a week then. ^-^'

Whelp, it's that time of the year where it gets nearly pitch-black outside at 5 in the evening. And when the time changes. Great... *sighs*

Wow, I start my posts in the worst way possible. Sorry, I'm suddenly tired.

Well, um, okay. Just gonna say it. Sorry I'm always like this, guys. Okay so, I'm really not that interested in blogging (just blogging on here) that much nowadays. I killed my other blogs and don't update the other pages here anyways. Guys, there's nothing for me to blog about. And what's the point? Most of you guys that actually talk to me (aka comment) have a DeviantArt, and we can talk on there. And besides, I'm getting more active on there than on here. No, I'm not leaving here, before you ask. Sorry, I'm not really into blogging on here at the moment. I basically quit AJ (if you see me on, it'll be because I felt like drawing in the Art Studio).

Heh, I'm on every kind of block. Writer's, blogging, art (kind of)... Wow, me, wow. -.-

So anyway, I probably will make a public email soon. Not right now, soon. Ugh, I just feel like being "closer" (um idk) with you guys.

Now some cool stuff. If any of you guys are in troubled times right now (or if you're just unhappy), this might help. They're pretty helpful. I went to some of them, and they made me feel a little bit better. Here's a link. I don't own anything on there.

I'm so sorry my posts suck so much, guys. I really am. Life's just a big "ugh".

I'm doing a project in one of my classes revolved around this song. I, of course, don't own anything at all. In fact, I never own anything. Um ok then.

"In Too Deep"~ Sum 41

What else is worth blogging about? ._.

Seriously.

Oh, and I've came up with extremely vague ideas for the next or upcoming Twinkle's Story chapters. Not saying whose POV (may be more than one.. which it is), but their POV gets pretty sad. Questioning things, self-hate.. lots of self-hate. Haha, writer's block is horrible. >.<

(lol it's not just Duke and Fierdan this time with the awful lives)

(well, kind of)

(why, Twinkle, why)

(ugh, plans, why)

Yeah, I don't know either. *shrugs*

Random quote because I feel like it. Again, I don't own it.

Goodbye. <3

Awkward Post

Heyyy :3

*checks poll*

*is no longer an unanimous vote*

*single tear falls down face*

Oh well. 

So anywho, I'm just gonna type about random stuff cuz why not, ok? 

Ya ok 

You know those TEO WIPs I posted a little while back? (You know the *creepy* Duke and Dawn ones?). Well, about that Duke one... *laughs awkwardly* I kinda ruined it.

So I decided to line-art and color the Duke one during the week (like last week or something) when I was basically upset and venting the entire time. So the anatomy was way more off than usual. Haha, I wanted to focus on anatomy on that drawing.. I guess not. And then I basically scribbled red all over the drawing. Yeah, red as in blood. So yeah, trust me guys, you do not want to see that drawing anymore now. You really don't. o.o

I didn't work on the Dawn one though. It's the same crap as its always been. (heh...)

So onto a completely other topic entirely. XD

So I was bored. As I am 99.9% of the time. So then I checked the old abandoned blogs on my Blogger Dashboard. Then I read through the comments on posts from mid-2014. Ah, the nostalgia. And then I realized something.

I must have had a life outside the internet back then. I barely commented anywhere. I must have only been checking blogging things once a week or something, and not daily. And only on my blog. Not anyone else's. Just my own cruddy blog. 

Omg where was I?! Did I actually have a life back then?! X'D 

Wow, me, wow. Like all you guys were typing the swaggiest of comments. And I was either doing nothing, occasionally checking my blog only, or thinking up Twinkle's Story stuff in my head (that was before I actually wrote down my story plans on paper or on the computer).

This made me sad for some reason. Like, all AJ blogging and artsy blogging people were bonding like la-di-da, and I was literally doing nothing.

Nothing. ;o; 

I was in the blogging community then, and I did absolutely nothing. Wow, me, wow how shameful me. ;n; 

Wow, I really do suck.

I should really go draw something now. After I do my homework though. 

Because...

Oh come on, you know why you one single person. >:U 

It's November! ^w^

Wow...

Peace! c:

~ Cutepups