Hi. I can't stay here blogging much longer. Which means this will be a short post.
The hotel I'm at is pretty cool. The doors are cool, ok lol.
Anyway, I'm thinking of adding a new page to the blog. Which isn't a cringeworthy page either. It'll be more of a help/support page. I've been thinking of adding the page for a while now. And I decided I'm going to. But I'll do that when I'm back home later today.
The Olympics is the only sporting event thing I'm excited about watching. In two different towns close to where I live, there are two people who are in the Olympics.
Gotta go now. See you. <3
Hello and welcome back to this trashy blog!
So I was bored and decided to edit some photos of my cats, Zo and Thelma.
Thelma's eyes have no pupils while Zo's pupils are always dilated lol.
But yeah, using the photo editing tools is kinda fun.
I'll upload the pictures at the end of this post.
But anyway, I'll be away this weekend. I'm not sure if I'll be posting or not. Not like I have any posting plans at all.. pfft no.
Um.. what else? Well, pastel sky pictures calm me down and make me feel better. They're just gorgeous.
I'm annoyed that I can't draw skies like that though. Oh, what a shame.
Oh, that's right. I have a pastel sky picture I can upload here. Not like I own it or anything.. nope, not a thing.
I also recently got cotton candy ice cream that's pastel blue and pink. And it looks so pretty with the swirls and those candy bits.
Light blue + pink (especially pastel colors) = ♡ { <3 }
Mint green and light purple are other pastel colors I adore too.
My family doesn't really like how I chose the pink and blue cotton candy ice cream though. Heh.
Ok, guess that's it.
Until next post, everyone.
~☆~
Hi it is I. Ah yes, Cutepups is back at it posting at midnight. Oh yay.
So a few posts back, I mentioned how I was hearing these noises when I was walking Sunshine (she's my pup dog) at night. And I'm pretty sure the noises are basically a combination of crickets and birds. The sounds are coming from high above, I mean.
So to make sure I'm not losing my mind or something, I decided to record these noises using my phone's voice recorder app. No, I didn't speak in these audio link clips I'm going to post later in this post. However, my footsteps can be heard.. (what, I was walking outside at night ok).
There was also this loud "aaaahhh" (like "aah" as in "at") sound mixed in with the other noises, but my stupid phone didn't catch that sound.
I'm really pretty sure it's just crickets and birds. But the sounds combined just sound pretty creepy to me. Yeah and walking outside in the dark with my dog. Paranoid thoughts are irrelevant probably, but do they go away? Nope.
Ok guys, I swear the sounds in these audio clips I'm about to link to aren't footsteps or some obvious thing like that. The sounds were coming from above, probably from the trees nearby.
But I do hear my awkward footsteps for a second or two in the audio clips.
Ok what the heck. Go have a listen. If you're fine with doing that, I mean.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(shrug guy is best guy, me and him identify very well, maybe we're meant to be)
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http://vocaroo.com/i/s0nt5MLc913K
http://vocaroo.com/i/s176H4d4HCly
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I might just be overreacting again like I always do. Oops.
Anyway, on a totally different note now. I remembered that around this time last year I made a funny irl (kinda?) skit. And I would randomly laugh at random times just thinking about it. I made myself laugh.. wow lol what a nerd freak I am.
But like I miss those days when I could actually be a funny and somewhat entertaining blogger buddy ol' pal. Nowadays, I don't really know how to be that funny anymore. I'm like a sad blogger now. Oh no, what a terrible fate.
I don't know. Have any funny posting ideas I could do? Comment them below. I want to give myself a good laugh again like back in the good old days which were like a year or two ago. But nothing's funny in life. For me at least.
I like staring at my blog. Ok.. ok yeah I don't really have a life.
Sad being in this cruel world. ✌️
Hello, I'm back.... with no capital letters in the post title!
I, this terrible blog's pathetic author known as Cutepups, am here to ramble about things at midnight. (cutepups rambling at midnight is owned by cutepups who is neither cute or a puppy)
Anyway.. let's start! ;D
*dies a little inside*
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Last year I noticed I called my personal life themed posts "Cutepups Life Crud: ____________". Now all my posts are basically about my personal life because I love oversharing information to strangers only to get anxious thoughts about it later.
I've been tired ever since I woke up yesterday morning. Tired 24/7 ftw.
My back-to-school day is on a later date than it usually is. Yay, I have more time to myself to waste my life away. Oh and to work on my summer assignments (*cough* *swear* *cough*).
I don't know why I feel sad. I just do. Sorry I'm a mess.. ha, ha.
I feel like I'm lying/not being honest with myself when I post. But I am. I think? I'm trying to be open and truthful. Can't trust myself either it seems.
What is identity? I don't know mine all that well. I keep on losing interest in things only to gain them back and lose them again. I take that myers-briggs personality test thing and sometimes I get isfj and sometimes I get infp. Like, they're different letter combinations. Do I even have a personality? I don't even know. Labels can get to be hella confusing. I'm getting apathetic. I'm also a pathetic person. Whelp.
I hate myself. A lot. And nothing's gonna change that. (did autocorrect seriously just switch the word "change" with "vaccionage"? wow smh)
I'm making this post depressing, aren't I?
What's there to look forward to? For myself? Something happy? I forgot again oops.
I think it's pretty funny how during a single car ride I can get flooded with writing and drawing ideas and more productivity jazz, and then get all hopeless and dead inside again.
Puberty sucks. Ok. It. Sucks.
I never seem to take care of my hair good enough. Like, ok, hair is annoying. It's always against me. Some people compliment my hair, but I'm like, "??? nah my hair.. gross eww". I never seem to comb good enough. I like hiding behind my hair, but at the same time I think of just having short(er) hair. Because, y'know, that means less poofiness and combing and hair shiz. Ugh, hair is a hassle. Frick.
Yeah idk man.
Moodswings suck. They suck. Hell.
My dreams last night weren't that violent. But they still were interesting and intense. I forgot what happened in them for the most part though. So whatever.
I sometimes feel like drawing Animal Jam animals in the Animal Jam style. But at the same time, no.
At least that Steven Universe show is active nowadays. Guess that's something good.
I cringe thinking about my past self at every given moment. *eye twitches, tears fall out of other eye*
I'm scared of a lot of things. One being life. Haha.. unfunny joke.
I'm very tired now, so....
Hi, hello. Look guys, I have capital letters in the post title. And this isn't a poem post. Wow, ain't that cool.
So, um, yeah. I guess I'll start with dreams.
Most of the time when I sleep at night (like starting at 12:30 am at the earliest lol) and have dreams (that REM sleep action lol), the dreams I have tend to be intense and a little disturbing. And, haha, they're so interesting. I don't remember the one I had from last night. But the one from the night before.. oh man, that was something.
I liked that dream. It was something about an airplane failing, being stuck in this warehouse instead, it raining outside, and then raining inside. And the warehouse had hallways like a tunnel in a way, idk? So I had to go with this group of other teens to see why it was raining inside. It was weird. I forgot the rest of what happened.
But like, I like how dreams are like movies. That play in your own head. It's pretty cool. Like there's action, suspense.. life or death situations a lot of times as well.
Haha, I haven't had a cute plotless dream in so long. I kinda miss those trashy dreams.
Oh.. what if my brain is giving me writing ideas? Is this a sign? Well, on that dream interpretator website, it says that my dreams mean I'm insecure and stuck with things and relationships in my life. And, like, that's the truth. So.. heck.. is this bad? At least I never completely know if I die in my dreams. They always end before I know.
Dreams.. wow. //totally didn't cry and laugh at the same time into a pillow just now//
Anyway, you know my dog. That darn Sunshine. Well, my parents and I had quite the adventure with her today. She had to get her shots. She barks way too much. And loudly. Then she kinda attacked the vet lady. Then they were like, "hell no we're not giving her any shots unless she's sedated", and we were like, "fine bye :/" (not these exact words lol). Then we brought her to a new vet. And they were way more chill. And Sunshine finally got her shots. The whole experience was around two hours long probably. The first vet never gave up on Sunshine before. Like yeah, she's so annoying with her stupid barking. But that vet just gave up on her. And Sunshine's eyes even turned red. In the white areas of the eyes. She had much fury, that dog. No one ever told us to sedate Sunshine before. Mr. Zo, yes. But Sunshine, no. All my pets are kinda not normal. They're just bad and annoying. Very embarrassing. But oh well, we still love them.
So that's Sunshine's flaws, I guess. So onto mine.. kinda.
First off, there's a reason why I put some red areas on my drawing from last post. Scratches and dried up blood lol go figure. Because I'm me and that's me. Sunshine gave me more scratches today. Lol life, huh? Pets' claws leave scratches. Or just, you know, falling on my face. And bleed. That's nice too (ok not really). Or just picking skin in a few places. Because no, I.. shif. I'll just shut up about this. There, I explained something about my drawing that no one else noticed. Nice.. why am I like this? Smh.
Ok, problematic me, time to move on.. to discussing more flaws about my art! *winks*
ew there's an eyelash in my eye why is life lowkey against me
*three minutes later*
Oh yeah, I sometimes wear black eyeliner. I don't do makeup that good though. I'm talentless, don't expect anything of me. That's why there's black around the eyes.
About the eyes, they're not the same size. I seem to have uploaded this darn drawing that lowkey resembles me in different places. All to show off how I can't draw eyes evenly for shiz. And awkward face shape. Ugh.
Don't even start on how I draw noses. How does one draw a human nose, I don't know.
Now when I think of it, the hair looks pretty bad too. I notice all the flaws in my art after I post them online. Wow pfft.
Anyway, it's August now. Uh.. time to cry? Shif shiz fzfzfzfzfzfzfuzzybunny.
It kinda makes me sad. Last year was so much more fun and interesting than this year. Like at this time last year, I was on vacation in that cool state called Maine. And I was complaining about blueberries or something. And this year, I'm complaining about just living life.
I'm having way less fun this year. And being aware of that.. well, I don't like these feelings.
It's like, well, I'm always sad/guilty/mad about something. About how I'm living life, for the most part.
I only end up disappointing people. I want to reach out and make friendships with new people. But, idk, I feel like I'm too awkward and word things too strangely and reply back too slowly. Heck, maybe I'm destined to loneliness. I never was very close with any friend I had irl. But getting close to a certain extent with other people makes me nervous and uncomfortable. Yet I want to be close to a friend. But at the same time, no.
Maybe it's because I kinda have trust issues regarding the subject of friends? But I feel like it's my fault for falling out of touch with them. But I'm too much of a nervous wreck to speak up or anything. Even over text or other types of messaging.
So, um, I say I'm aro-spec. And, apart from never experiencing any romantic attraction, I think I'm that way because of trust issues too. In a way? Like, ok, bad past memories.. mmohmygod. In school especially, a few guys kinda asked me out as a joke. But I never believed any of them anyways cuz they're annoying and, well, :/. Like I know I'm an ugly joke of a person. But like if people think it's a joke to do that kinda thing, then it's hard to believe people. That people love me.. kinda in a way? idk. All this doubt I have lol lots of skepticism.
So I'm like screw it, I don't care about romance. And all these people my age are pretty interested in romance for the most part. And I'm just like, "lol no teen love is meaningless *peace sign*". I'm a lonesome pupper, ok.
And I'm weird for not having crushes on people? Look, ok. I have a disliking for people and don't like being too close with anyone. So, that stuff? Hell no, like I have the time of day for that.
Another thing that annoys me is when I see so many people online talk about how much middle school sucked for them and how high school was way better. Like how they had no friends in middle school, and got lots of friends in high school. Like I know it's supposed to be somewhat motivational, that things get better and all that useless crap. But the opposite happened with me. I highly doubt college will make me happy and think better about myself. When high school started, I lost a whole bunch of friends I was with in middle school. In 10th grade, lost nearly all of them. What's there to look forward in 11th? Losing the rest of them and online friends too? Wow, growing up sure seems like fun. It just means losing people you like. What a life.
Trusting non-family people? Haha, what's the point? Why not just be cold and distant with everyone instead? I think I'll do that. But I'm always here waiting to fall back again to a simpler time.
Um.. been thinking about things. My thoughts are scattered.
Gonna be away this weekend.
Until next post, see you around. I guess.
<3
