dumb foolish cryptid

I've been thinking about that word a lot today. Cryptid.

The title is referring to me. Um lol.

I'm dumb and a fool.

I regret every post I make. It's incredible really. I regret everything I do. I keep on messing up. I didn't mean to.

I don't want to bring my feelings back, so I've been posting story stuff instead.

But at the same time. I regret the story. I'm scared that people will notice the obvious flaws. I'm scared that other people who read my blog in the past have come back in silence. I'm scared that they have come back to see me posting story chapters and related stuff again.

I want some past viewers to notice me posting chapters again. But I also don't want other past viewers noticing my story writing again.

I don't know. I'm scared either way.

I have some more from last post. Er, kinda?

- Remember the doctor and arctic wolf that knew Calliah from the beginning chapters? Yeah, me neither. They've been zapped from my memory. Haven't heard from them much. What fox and arctic wolf conflict?

- "You're not a fox." (You're not a human.) ... hhhngh that line with its spoilers.

- I can't believe I once thought Chapter 16 was going to be the saddest chapter. Oh, how I was wrong. There are way sadder chapters than that one that are yet to come.

- I find it stupid how I used to make announcements before each chapter saying a violence warning just because blood was in the chapter context. Those chapters weren't even that violent.

- I know Chapter 64 wasn't that violent. I mean it was all memories. It all took place in the past. It's not in present time. I just put in that violence warning because a lot of the chapter was basically about a murder scene. But yeah. I guess you can say I intentionally left out the gory details. Left it up for interpretation or something.

- In upcoming chapters, I'm going to try to write as violently detailed as I feel comfortable that I can do. Blood, body parts, weapons, tools... haha yeah.

- The Duke transformation II. (Not first because Night of the Black Flames was the first.) Oh wow.

- The main Twinkle transformation as well. Not in the same way as Duke's though. Oh wow.

- In my story, Jamaa is basically only fox, wolf, and arctic wolf territory. The land of canines.

- But when they find out what a real fox is. A life of lies. Wow, deep shiz.

Yeah, I think that's it.

Anyway. Just gotta say this.

I feel helpless. I wish I could find a way to help certain people. But I don't know how. I can't do anything.

You're sad and stressed. You're probably lonely too.

You don't even have to say it. I already know.

Who do I mean? An irl friend? An online friend?

Friends?

Maybe it's to the both of them.

So I'll be the happy and laughing one. Since you have more painful troubles than me.

I wish I could help things be easier for you. But in the end, I can't do anything for you.

If I say anything, I'll just end up making things worse.

I'm not good with people.

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♡ ;^; ♡