Twinkle's Story: Chapter 70

*warning, just in case*

ANONYMOUS POV

It's only a dream. This isn't real.

With his eyes remaining closed, he flipped the pillow over. The cool and soft fabric tickled the left side of his face.

He was pretty sure that he was dreaming, but he wasn't certain. It seemed too realistic for it to only be a dream.

When he settled down again, he was disappointed to still find him standing there. The young man noticed that the guy standing at the end of the bed had a striking resemblance to himself. They had vaguely similar faces, the same colored hair, and the same lightly tan skin tone.

Except there was something off about him. He was appearing rather empty. He looked like he was only a spirit; he also looked like a hollow body.

You're not human, so tell me. Who and what are you? 

The guy standing near the bed opened his mouth. There was something off about him flashing his teeth. It was as if all his teeth were sharp. They all looked like fangs, definitely not human teeth.

He brushed the index and middle finger of his right hand just an inch away from his teeth. Something was off about his nails too. They looked strangely black and sharp. Then he lowered his hand; the two fingers pointed down at the floor.

"Hello brother," the guy said as his fingers brushed the side of his leg.

Danny? Is that really you?

He inched closer to the bed. In under a minute, they were staring each other in the eye.

The guy's voice reminded him of venom. The words and how he said them sounded as if he was spitting out a venomous substance.

"I have one thing to tell you," he said as he raised his hand in front of his face.

There was a mad look in his eyes as he flashed his strange teeth again. He slowly lowered his index finger, so only his middle finger wasn't in a fist.

For a few minutes, the guy only spat out swear words. He had a liking for ones that started with the letter, f.

It might have been because of the room's artificial light. It looked as if a dark red trail was twisting around his raised middle finger.

The man on the bed pulled his knees closer to his chest. His brother was making him very uncomfortable.

"Do you still believe me to be weak? Struggling against your creation's abuse doesn't make me weak. I am not the weak one, dear brother. You are the weak one."

He lowered his hand again.

"Your creation made me hate our father by brutal force. It did things to me. It threatened me to do things. Your creation hurt me severely all the time. If our father hadn't already made my life turn into a living hell, then you did for creating Soulless."

Soulless. I created Soulless behind our father's back. I didn't know how terrible the end result would turn out.

"How long has it been? Ten years, thirty years, a hundred years? How long did I have to suffer due to Soulless being a part of me? How long did I have to suffer because of how much you hated Zios? Do you have any idea how long you made me suffer for?"

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Danny. 

"You hated our father so much, but I ended up the one hating him more. I did what Soulless wanted me to do for so many years. It abused me physically and mentally until I wanted to kill him myself. It made me kill many people. I'm obviously not a damn human, stupid. I lost my humanity a long time ago, and it's your fault. It's more your fault than father's!"

I am sorry. You've grown up so much. I can't believe what I helped turn my little Daniel into. I wish I could turn back time, so we could go back to the happy days. Days when we were both happy. The time when our mother was alive and no Jamaa project existed.

He even laughs. It's definitely not a child's laughter.

"I killed our damn father. Your creation made me hate him to that point. Screw you and him. You were all wrong. I'm not weak at all. I've been straight to hell and back. I'm stronger than the three of you will ever be."

The two brothers were now less than an inch away from each other. One grinned; the other gulped.

"Guess who I'm going to kill next?" 

Why are you still killing after you killed Zios? The main goal Soulless wanted you to have was for you to perform the ultimate revenge on Zios. You have made our father pay the price of death. What more do you want?

"I'm going to kill your Soulless creation. You are dead to me, my dear brother."

The man woke up covered in a cold sweat. He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest.

No one's here. It was just a dream. 

He hastily grabbed the pair of glasses on his nightstand.

But when he put them on, he swore he saw an unidentifiable figure walking further and further away from the end of the bed.

DUKE

What is with those two? Why do they have to be like that?

Then I hear her voice. This time it's Dawn's.

Before she can say anything else, I yell at the door. "Leave me alone!"

She clearly doesn't get my hints. I'm a bit surprised to hear how calm her voice is.

Hate me, gosh darn it! I'm yelling at you, so fight me back!

"We have to do more training," she says. "Oh and can you please tell me why you left the rooms. Twinkle is only trying to help you. Did I say something wrong?"

I should have killed you when I had the chance. You make me want to kill myself before Fierdan comes.

"I don't want to do more training, okay? Please go away and leave me alone," are the words I say aloud.

Then I hear Twinkle's voice.

"Ugh, come on! Unlock the door now, Duke!"

What are you mad about? You tired me out, and all I'm asking for is a break. You've got your point across, Twinkle. You're clearly better than me. 

I sigh in complete frustration. "I'm exhausted and want a break."

"It's been an hour. Open up," Twinkle says.

Getting up to my feet, I mutter, "Fine," and unlock the door.

I fall back onto the bed when they enter the room.

The questions keep on coming. I try to avoid looking at them by looking at the beige ceiling instead. That, of course, doesn't stop them.

"Why did you ditch us?" Twinkle asks.

I give up on trying to ignore them. I sit up and let my legs dangle off the edge of the bed.

"It was because you were right. You know how to do Elemental Power abilities better than I can. I'm annoyed because I first taught you how to summon fire at the most basic level."

"You should have said something then. It's not my fault if I shattered your false ego," she says.

Dawn goes up behind her and puts a paw on her shoulder.

"That's enough, Twinkle."

Twinkle sighs and slowly walks toward the door. She looks back at Dawn and me before twisting the door knob and leaving the room.

Dawn joins me on the bed. Her left foot knocks into my right one.

"Okay, it's just you and me now. Can you please tell why you left the room when we were talking before?"

Being my stubborn self, I tell her no.

"Duke, I'm being serious. Was it something I said?"

I roll my eyes and mimic her voice. "Was it something I said?"

She also rolls her eyes. "Do you have the slightest idea how disgusted and violated I feel? Do you think I'm happy upon knowing that I'm the half-sister to Zios's children? Guess what, Duke? I'm not happy at all. I feel so stupid for having that very big and crucial memory zapped from my brain."

Before she can say anything else, I speak up.

"That wasn't the last straw for me. That wasn't the reason why I left the room."

Dawn faces me with her bright emerald green eyes.

"Then why did you?"

I breathe out slowly. "It's because my appearance is a lie. If you hadn't used your magic to heal me, I would be covered in scars."

I get off the bed. "I can finally put a word to what you did to me back then. You made my scars visible and then invisible because of your magic. If it wasn't for you, I would look as much as a wreck on the outside as I do on the inside."

I look down at my shirt. It still is the red shirt with the black fire design.

"Okay, I admit it. Maybe you were right. You used your magic to take off my clothes to see all my cuts and bruises. I know you can magically switch our outfits. I guess I did go a little too far that day. If you were planning on doing something to me that I had in mind, then you could have easily removed all our clothes. But, obviously, you didn't."

Dawn laughs softly. "Oh, I'm just like Calliah. We both gave you questionable first impressions, but now you know that we both have the great role of caring about you and being your protectors. I know we both lied quite a lot to you, so it's going to take a while for you to let go and forgive us. It's okay though, Duke."

 I interlock my fingers and put both my paws behind my head.

"Want to know something I didn't tell Twinkle? That I don't want you to ever tell her?" I ask her.

Dawn hesitates for a moment before saying, "Sure. What is it?"

Well, here it goes. 

"I want to get better. However, now that I know that you've been using magic on me, I doubt that it's even possible for me to fully heal myself. I want my body to be clean again; I want my mind to be clear. I want this chaos to stop. It can't ever stop though. I'm the Duke Fierdan. I'm the puppet of Zios, Soulless, and Fierdan himself. As long as I'm alive in this body, I won't ever be at peace with myself. For so long I've been trying to trick myself into thinking I'm okay again. But, come on, Dawn. What's the point? I had troubles way before I knew I'm a form of Fierdan."

It's hard to continue. Twinkle isn't here, but what if Dawn tells her? What will she think of me then? 

The look Dawn gives me, however strange it may be, comforts me.

I can do this. I can't hide away forever. 

"I'm also annoyed with Twinkle because of who she is. I care about her too much, especially considering all I've done to her. She reminds me too much of myself, and it haunts me. We are parallels, and not just because she has the cold blue version of the fire Elemental Power. I can't help but to feel like she's copying me. I don't want her to be like me. She wants to kill someone from school. Do you know how haunting it is to hear her say that? Twinkle reminds me of myself, but now it's not in a good way. Oh and before that, she told me she harmed herself too for whatever reason. Dawn, she did the same thing that I did. I can't stand being around her for too long. I see parts of myself in her, and I hate it so much. I just want to stop. Why the hell do I care about her so much? Why the hell was I like that? Darn it, Dawn! Make it stop!"

Push my darkness into the light. 

I realize that I'm slightly shaking. Dawn gently touches my wrist with the tips of her fingers.

"The real reason why I was in the hospital right after the field trip accident was because I felt like it might have been my fault. I have a phantom flame marking on my heart, and phantoms came. Back then even if I didn't know how, I did know that I was the one to blame for having the phantoms come. I knew that phantoms caused her sister to die. When I saw that phantoms could have killed her as well, I lost it."

I pause and only focus on breathing. I then continue since I can't go back now.

"I never told Twinkle before that time in the hospital that I felt myself falling in love with her. Until we figured out that she has ice powers and I have fire, I couldn't figure out why my feelings for her were so different than with any other girl. I'll admit it. At one point, I even thought that perhaps I won't ever have those types of feelings for a girl. That maybe I could have the feelings for a boy instead. So anyway, I used the accident and the ice as excuses."

Say it already. Bring the dark into the light.

"I felt so guilty. I completely lost it. I knew where those feelings led me to before, and I didn't want to go back to that low of a point again. But it was hard. It was so freaking hard, Dawn. I couldn't put any explanations to it, and of course I couldn't tell anyone why. They would call me a freak for my phantom flame and the fact that my mental state has always been a mess. The only person I knew who understood why I have a phantom flame was my mother, Calliah. But as you're well aware, we didn't have the best relationship until Fierdan locked up Soulless. Well anyway, I felt extremely guilty and helpless."

I turn away from Dawn and lower my head. If I could see myself, I bet I look like that scared child I was that knew his mother hated him but not knowing why.

"The reason why I was in the hospital right away wasn't even because I wanted to see Twinkle as soon as possible. I lied about that. The real reason why I was there is because I admitted myself to the hospital to stay the night after the accident. I didn't sleep on the Tall Tower's roof that night. I made sure I was safe in the hospital, so I wouldn't think of, uh, doing anything bad."

I look at Dawn.

"I had conflicting thoughts about living or dying way before this whole Fierdan and black flames thing started. You see, Dawn, that day's events triggered something off in my brain. It caused me to have suicidal thoughts. But just like how Twinkle ruins me now, she saved me back then."

I don't have to worry about Dawn telling Twinkle everything I just said. Because when we exit the room, I see Twinkle standing right by the door.

But she isn't alone. Ardere is with her.

TWINKLE

Since Duke is at a lost of words, Dawn speaks for him.

"Did you two hear everything he said?" she asks Ardere and me.

I look at Ardere and back at her. We nod our heads at the same time.

"Yeah, sorry," Ardere whispers. "I'm sorry about eavesdropping and going outside before."

Dawn's eyes widen. "You went outside when I specifically told you not to?"

"Yeah," I say. "I caught this rambunctious pup outside. I brought him inside, and then, well, then we sat by the door. Sorry."

Duke, looking up at the ceiling for whatever reason, finally finds his words.

"So you two heard everything? That's fantastic. Now I know better to keep certain things to myself."

I sigh. "Look Duke, Ardere and I have the right to know what you told Dawn. Especially since you were talking about me. I don't know what the big deal is. Now you don't have to repeat yourself."

Duke's paws are in fists. I have the feeling that he's struggling not to cry.

"You don't get it. You won't ever get it."

I stand on the tips of my toes, so I'm eye-level with him.

"What don't I get?" I say, looking into his eyes.

"I finally understand why you have ice powers," Duke says. "It's because you are cold and insensitive."

When I kiss him on the cheek, I also bite.

"Excuse me? I have a good reason to be cold and insensitive."

"What is it? Why are you being such a jerk to me nowadays?"

I stomp my foot because of how frustrated I am. "And you haven't ever acted like a jerk to me or to anyone else here," I say sarcastically.

Duke glares at me as he rubs his cheek with a finger. "We were away from each other for two weeks."

I cut him off before he can say anything. "And I was isolated away from reality for those two weeks. Black Raven, my bird affiliate, trapped me in this ice castle. I don't know how, but Ardere could enter."

He looks down at Ardere. The wolf smiles back at him.

"When I finally left that place, I decided to change myself. I didn't want to be weak anymore. Being weak has made so many people take advantage of me. I decided to change myself, so I wouldn't be weak ever again. I'm not the same girl I was back in school."

Ardere pipes in. "Yeah, I bet. We first met each other in May, and now it's September. I hope we all changed since then."

I smile at him. "Yeah, and I'm never going back to who I used to be."