more topics [personal edition]

Here, have more topics that have nothing to do with each other or the last post. Uh, I mean hi. 

So.. I’ll just get into it. Ok.

The same night I made the previous post, I went with my sister and her friend to a drive-in movie at our local park. This was my first time at a drive-in movie. It was nice. :) 

Watching a movie from inside your car.. ain’t that cool? ;D

The movie we saw was the last Marvel Avengers movie. The Endgame one. Yeah. 

*gets distracted by my cat kneading on the couch next I’m sitting next to* 

Yeah.. movie night was cool. :) 

-x-x-x- 

This evening, I watched Howl’s Moving Castle on my computer. I finally watched it. I wanted to see it for a long time. 

The characters,, my heart,,,, ;w; <3 

Good movie! :D 

-x-x-x- 

Now for something more serious and grim:

You all know Sunshine? My dog that I talk about sometimes? 

Well.. I’m worried about her. I’m nervous. :(

She’s really sick and she’s got a few serious health problems. And she’s very old. I went with my mom and sister to take Sunshine to the vet yesterday, and.. to be vague, she’s got a lot going on. 

She’s in pain, so she has to take painkillers now. She has labored breathing. She has trouble going up and down stairs, and she can’t even walk sometimes. She’s been eating less. 

Luckily, she’s been acting a little better today. 

Aww, poor Sunshine! ;~; 

-x-x-x-

I’m absolutely terrified that my mental health is going to collapse and I’ll fall into a relapse soon. I really don’t want to go back there, but I feel like relapsing will soon be inevitable for me. 

I’m sick of hearing about deaths all the time. I don’t want another loved one of mine to die this year. </3 

Grandma. Classmate. Sunshine..? 

I hear about deaths every day. My family almost always has the news on. And the news is usually talking about the number of deaths due to the coronavirus. 

I just.. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to distract myself, but it’s hard to stop thinking about how Sunshine will die. 

I don’t even remember what life is like without her in it. She’s slightly less than 5 years younger than me. She’s 15; I’m 20. 

I feel like 2020 is going to mess me up, even if I try my best to avoid falling apart. It’s hard to keep it together. To pretend everything’s fine when it’s not. It’s not. Nothing is fine. 

-x-x-x-

My brother is coming here (home) tomorrow. He’s bringing his pet chameleon. I’ll be able to see Yoda the chameleon! I’m a little excited to see her, haha. 

Yoda,, aaaaaaaaaaaa *screams* !!!!! :’D

-x-x-x- 

*weather report is heard on the TV*

Eww. Ewwwww. Gross. >:(

I hate the heat!!!!!!! D: 

I have to go back to suffering, I guess. :/ 

[. . . . .]

Good night.