aaaaaaugh

It's May. How did this happen? Why did April have to end?

Well, hello there. Now that it's May, stress week has officially begun.

Tomorrow is my first exam of the week. I've been stressing out, and now I feel a little sick.

Nice going, Cutepups. :/

I feel stupid and like a failure. This week is going to metaphorically (or not? hahaa) kill me. Anyone there? Kill me.

And now I have a history project to do. Gotta love this month. Gotta love May.

Been studying for hours over the weekend. Still feel stupid af and like a disappointment to myself/everyone.

Even before it actually happens, I'm gonna say it. I'm sorry for being like this.

The only thing I really live for is blogging (and my blogs are awful) with my Twinkle's Story+ (which is a confusing and terribly written story) that I fantasize about changing some things about it in order for me to perhaps turn it into a book some day in the distant future.

Haha yeah. That's why I've been getting passionate about the story again. I can only dream.

Anything else regarding my future, and I don't have a clue.

Cutepups having a future? What's a future? What's that? Pfft, so unrealistic.

I'm sorry. Sorry.

Okay, well, I guess I have other reasons to live. Of course I do. It's just that blogging and the story are my creations. Only I can continue them the way I want to. They're my own things.

Ayy lmao. Why do I feel like it's my fault when someone is tired and in a bad mood? Why did I think I could pass off as smart when I'm really just an idiot? Why do I hate it when other people say they want to die, but I want to when I think about exams and the future?

Your posts are unhealthy and toxic to viewers, Cutepups. Why won't you learn that you're not the only person who feels the way that you do? Stop it already. :/

I'm turning 17 this month. What the f*ck.

I'm not ready for this, that, or anything. Not okay, this is not okay.

Freaking end me.

Anyway, hope you like that writing piece I posted. I'm a bit disappointed in it. Then again, I'm disappointed in all my art. So whatever.

To put it simply, I'm trying to say that the true theme of love surpasses actions that are seen as romantic or sexual because love is so much more than just that.

I'm not a good writer though. Or artist. Or, well, being a person in general.

I want to draw and post Duke's Five Stages of Grief, but it's all major spoilers. Haha yeah, things get intense. Ooh.

I have plans for Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. That's all five. I already have plans for them even before writing the actual chapters.

Only Anger, Bargaining, and Acceptance are the ones I have detailed plans for. The other ones are more vague.

I've been thinking about Duke a lot lately. Especially his character and all that pain.

I don't know if I'm going to survive tomorrow. This might be the end. Finally lmao.

(lmao = laughing my anxiety off)

Cutepups is an anxious fool.

I probably won't even major in this at college. Despite what my dad thinks.

I live to disappoint.

:) :)) :)))

Goodbye.

~ Cutepups