Better Days

Um.. hi.

So, uh, today's Friday. No school tomorrow. 

Um.. no. Not necessarily "out of hiatus". Not exactly sure when. (Sorry.. ^n^)

Wow, my previous post has around 100 pageviews. Wow, a lot of you guys.. care about the blog, or.. me, or.. both? (Or not at all. *shrugs*). All of you guys mean a whole lot to me, you know that? <3

I'm pretty happy right now. I finally found my Kindle charger I lost over a year ago (yeah XD), baked brownies with my mom, and I'm going to volunteer at this Halloween party later today (yes, today XD). 

So, why did I suddenly decide to make this post? Well, to prove a point. I know it's been only 2 or 3 days, but it's been significant to me.

Like, ever since Wednesday, I've just been feeling better. Yeah, I know I sometimes have "bad days" and feel awful. (Wow, I sound so seriously dramatic in my last post..). 

Anyway, instead of being obsessed on checking Blogger a thousand times a day, I now view it way less. I still check it daily, just not as often (which was over 12 hours a day).

And without blogging being the top priority on my mind, I've realized more important things. Such as with my IRL friends. I realized that it was me who was "blind". I realized that I was the one who deliberately avoided them.. for you guys. I realized that they just about always care about me, and know I exist as a person- that they don't treat me as if I'm invisible. It was me being "blind". 

When I think about it, I think my only "friends" who have actually hurt me were just people I met over the years of me playing Animal Jam. The people who I thought I could trust. The people who I thought our "friendship" meant something. The people who I thought wouldn't just throw me away some day. The people who hurt me, and made me have to question people's trust.

Internet friends in general. Including, yes, you. I've realized that you have hurt me countless times more than any IRL friend. Even the ones who forgot about me. And treat me like crap now. Because, unlike my IRL friends, you caused me to become more stressed and feel depressed. And you, you made me blind to the fact that I still have IRL friends who care about me. It's as if my focus on blogging, my focus on entertaining you, has caused a wall between me and my IRL friends.

So that's what I realized these past 2 days. ^-^' 

So instead of blogging for you guys, I'm gonna take care of my more important priorities first. Which will make me both healthier and happier. 

I'll also restrict to taking care of blogging matters to the weekends if I have to.

Oh yeah. I also realized my IRL friends fan-girl over almost all the same things as me. And obsess over the same bands (which nowadays is 21 Pilots and Panic!AtTheDisco <3). Like, we just joyfully discuss them in school, haha. And then one of my friends is obsessed with this very weird song too (not gonna say it here due to reasons XD). 

Also got more sleep. Sleep is good. c: 

I also have some ideas for a new Twinkle's Story chapter. Which will probably be contradictory as always. But it's also pretty short too.

But now.. now..

I don't care. I don't care if my standards aren't as high as yours. I don't care if my writings don't please you by being perfect. If I enjoy it (which I still do.. you guys caused me to not enjoy it by losing my confidence in it), I'm not gonna quit doing one of the few things I really do love. And you can't stop me.

Just think about it. What's the point of me allowing strangers to hurt me, to make me feel like crap? 

Exactly. Because there really isn't a point. You guys mean a lot to me by sticking with me through thick and thin, but you don't control me. And you can't break me down unless I allow it.~

(Haha, that sounds kinda like a quote. "You don't control me, and you can't break me down unless I allow it." Cool. c:)

"Kitchen Sink" (21 Pilots). Omg. Yes. <3 

Goodbye.

~ *Cutepups* ~ 

<3