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Monday, October 12, 2015

..

Um hello. ^-^

Haha, I was searching some stuff up.

Mhmm.

So basically I found out the words of what those things are. Like the names of them. Like what they're called.

Um, like words that describe me better. Well, kind of like that. idk.

I found out words that described how.. idk unique (not that word.. idk XD) I am.

Kind of relieved they have names for these things. XD

Ah yes, I am slightly messed up (as you all probably have been guessing all this time).

So, what are they?

Haha, like I'm telling you! >:U
(jk lol)

Wow, there are a lot of romantic orientations.

Wow, I still am not sure which one I am.

Same with sexual orientations (well, kind of.. more of a spectrum thing).

*cough* What I mean by I don't know how to classify myself. *cough*

#whyamipostingthis

Because I can! Alright?! >:U

Also because I have to let these thoughts that have been in my head for who knows how long out.

So yeah. c:

Also, mental AND physical illnesses shouldn't be joked about. (Same with some other stuff, obviously.)

Being suicidal is not a joke either. Someone playfully teasing you as a joke, and then claiming to be suicidal because of it is.. idk.. ugh. *cough* classmates *cough*

I share a few symptoms that correspond with social anxiety, and more symptoms that correspond with existential anxiety. (Not anything severe, very minor. Like being nervous/awkward about being with/meeting newer people, feeling clueless/helpless in the world, fear of being judged to a certain degree, thought that people around me are more happy than me, worry for the future.. stuff like that.)

Due to this, I feel depressed at times. And then, you know, I nap and post vents. And then I get thoughts where it's impossible to imagine me in the future. At all. Then feeling like I lost a part of my happiness.

And then feeling pathetic and like nothing.

Don't assume everything's going completely fine and it's all okay. Don't assume everyone being the same way you are. Don't assume anything.

Now you know.

Well.. yeah. That's it I guess (for now at least).

Bye.

~ ☆Cutepups☆ ~

13 comments:

  1. Ya, honestly, I hear people make fun of like, sexual/romantic orientations and stuff, and stuff like that, like saying gross things without even realizing it, like fat jokes or something messed up, and it makes me really sad. Because it feels like I'm one of the only people who knows it's wrong. But idk. It's hard not to get offended at a lot of things. (Ya, classmates :/ one time they were talking about ballet. And you can guess where that led ://) but anyways, be careful with your killing stuff in your story. Because like, if you think about it, killing is actually very serious. And it's really, really bad. Not just something to make a character more cool-like. Just think of the consequences of their actions. :/ like if someone was killed in real life, a lot of people would be sad and stuff, and that person's life they led up until then would be gone. But anyways. Just wanted to tell you that because it's been bothering me because I don't want to make killing into something 'intresting'.
    I'll proably let a few things out, myself. But it's ok not to know yet, ok? Dang, I sorta wish now we were in the same classes because all my classes are boring and I don't have any friends :/ (or it feels like that at least).

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    Replies
    1. Yeah ikr.. immature classmates. :/

      Yeah, I know that. And yeah, still gotta work on it in the story. Like, it's a serious topic of course, but I didn't really delve into after their deaths and how serious they are.. yet (hopefully).

      Okay, it's just been really confusing and bothering me for a few months now. ^-^'

      Haha yeah, school's boring, isn't it :'D? I think I have 1 or 2 friends in half my classes, and in the others, there's not really anybody that's my friend. (One of my classes only has 11 students including me lol). But those friends aren't as close as friends as we are (lol weird I know.. like we talk, we type, to each other more.. and you know stuff like that).

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    2. Honestly it might be more intresting to go into that, because technically it's one of the focuses in your story. Not putting your story down, it's just been bothering me for a while because I noticted how we (ya, me too) , like used sadness and idk, serious stuff just to make our stories more intresting and that doesn't seem right. Might just be mostly for me, though. But I was thinking about that.

      Ya....I'm not putting your feelings down either, that was uncaring of me. Just saying that. 'n'

      Haha yea I'm so tired of school tho. I know what you mean. Usually I find a close friend each year but not so much for this year, and anyways, just everyone judging eachother (like how I said before....you know what I mean) doesn't really give me a great desire to make friends....

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    3. It somewhat bothers me too. But I think it's because I can't stop focusing on it, lol.

      Same!

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  2. I just feel like making another poem/song.
    Excuse me.

    So all these times
    You've never noticed me
    Hung behind

    So all the moments past
    You've never seen my crumbling spirit
    Lack of confidence

    I know you don't know me well enough
    That's just good for both of us-
    It's better you not knowing

    I'm not weak just because
    Just because I'm depressed
    Just because I'm insane
    Doesn't mean I live to kill

    Just because, I don't have
    A living soul, it doesn't mean
    I'm not a physical being
    I have a right to be here

    But no-
    You push me away
    Into the darkest corners

    You make me feel,
    As if I were trapped in a bottle
    Filled with mental illnesses

    You belittle me everytime-
    Come now, let me show you
    That just because, just because...

    I'm not weak just because
    I'm a terrified spirit
    Just because I am willing to say
    "I'm OK", but no I'm not

    Just because, I look fine
    Doesn't mean you have to be
    So ignorant, so arrogant,
    Face me now instead

    Face me now and you'll see
    That the world is not your toy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really enjoyed reading your poem/song. Thanks for it. :)

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  3. I absolutely hate it when people make fun of sexual orientations/physical/mental illnesses. One time, somebody was wearing a bandana, and while we were waiting to go inside the classroom, three guys started telling the guy wearing the bandana, "that's gay," and, "that bandana is so gay," and if the bell hadn't saved them, then I would've said, "being gay isn't a bad thing, so quit using it in that context."
    HOLD ON. WHAT IF, REACHIE, YOU, AND I WERE MAGICALLY IN THE SAME STATE (I'll move for us XD), AND THE SAME SCHOOL, AND- AND- AND WE WERE IN A THREE-WAY SPLIT CLASS. (or maybe I could get into advanced math.) SO WE'D HAVE MORE FRIENDS IN OUR CLASS. *gasps* WHY CAN'T THAT HAPPEN???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes ugh. Actually in one of my classes today, the teacher recommended to these few guys to put a bandana on. XD
      THAT IDEA IS VERY SWAGGY, MUTTERS. 8D

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  4. What are some differences between Fierdan and Dawn?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. things they do, clothing.. Basically any simple (or anything rally) differences between the two..

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