School related (kill me)

Hello. What a dandy post title. :^)

I'm too lazy to type anything differently, so I'll just copy-and-paste from my deviantart. <3

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Most days this summer I've been feeling pathetic and hopeless and all those good what-the-hell-are-positive-feelings-because-those-don't-last-very-long. 

In a few weeks, school starts for me. 11th grade. The most stressful year. Well, I got my class schedule today. 

Ok so I never had many friends in real life or online. Thus I'm seen as being a friendless loser in my school. Probably. So anyway, I do know a handful of nice classmates. But since most of them saying they would stay in touch with me only left me for better people, I tend to have trust issues regarding friends. Anyway, I only have one school friend who actually tries to keep in touch with me. 

All summer we've been hoping to get in the same classes (at least one) for this upcoming school year. Unlike last year where we weren't. And guess what? We don't share a single class (well, at the same time I mean) yet again this year.

So that's great. Fantastic. Haha, what's there to look forward to now? Everything in life just makes me more and more hopeless. Woohoo. 

I don't just make new friends. Nope, that's a foreign concept to me. Besides, whenever I tried to reach out and make new friends last year, none of them wanted to be my friend anyways. Except for a few who kinda are friends who just don't bother to check or care about me at all. 

All I'm saying is I hope I have some of those nice classmates and kinda friends in my classes. 

I need something good to look forward to. The only thing that I'm looking forward to is around Christmas time. And that's too far away. I need something now. This year, summer especially, sucked. 

. . . . . . . .

EDIT: That one friend and I checked some things and apparently we share the same lunch times. (There are different lunch times at my school.). So hopefully we can see each other in school after all. 

Yet again another thing of positivity has been ruined.

Wow, wow.. another broken record! Wow, wow!

If you didn't already know, I'm an old person (aka a middle-aged teenager) who doesn't like anything except rotting myself away by going online. I hate everything else.

I'm so full of positivity! :^) Not.

I'm gonna be an upperclassman. 11th grade. The most stressful year on the whole k-12 school system thing.

Shut up it's true. 11th grade is the year with the most work. Oh and then starting all that college prep stuff.

Yay, yay, yay!!! //shot

Now let's get RIGHT into the NEWS!!!!! (omg dammit a Keemstar reference wtf kms)

Since I'll be crying in the pile of schoolwork (got honors/AP classes too) I'll be getting once school starts for me, I probably won't be posting every day. I mean I don't already, but it's gonna be more infrequent posts during the school year.

Haha yeah, I know godamnit. I broke that promise two years in a row. Saying I would be posting less during the school years. But I'm trying to actually mean it this time.

Oh yeah. So if you didn't know I have some level of anxiety which is obvious in any new situation. But I'm more dead inside nowadays, so it might be different. And just about every member of my family (especially my grandma, her too) is yelling at me saying I BETTER JOIN A CLUB THIS YEAR OMG!!!!.

Which, in turn, means even less posting time.

But don't worry yet. My school year doesn't start until the beginning-ish of September.

I also am nowhere close to finishing my summer assignments.

Procrastinating is torture, but do I ever learn? Nope. :^)

Now it's time for Cutepups School Tips (not really that at all but still read on pls ily).

Sixth grade sucks. Seventh grade sucks. Eighth grade sucks. Ninth grade sucks. Tenth grade sucks. Every year sucks. Don't be fooled youngsters, hope is just a conspiracy theory. It isn't real.

But ok. Tenth grade was actually kinda better than ninth grade. Come on now, any grade higher than ninth grade freshman year is at least somewhat better.

I actually kinda liked tenth grade. Somewhat.

But seventh grade? Omg that year was the worst! Sixth grade was also terrible. But seventh grade was very bad.

Getting verbally bullied/harassed/teased almost every day in seventh grade was so much fun. So. Much. Fun. !!!!!!! :^)

I actually kinda liked my math teacher that year though. Some others too, honestly.

But not all of them.

The only good thing I remember from way back then was how I actually had some irl friends back then kinda. Now I don't. Oh yeah, also my religious thing. That was so hard but also good too.

But I do ask the question, "Are you there, God? ... Is there even a God? *incoherent screaming*".

Omg I hate that book called "Are you there, God? I'm Margaret" (or something like that) so much. Just no. I swear that book was glorifying periods.

But ok, don't worry. You aren't me, so your school years will probably be fine no matter the grade.

Except if you are me and also had awful experiences related to school in the past.

But since YOU ARE NOT ME, you'll be fine.

Eh, probably.

Ugh, I want to just reveal my name. What "S" actually stands for. But I'm too much of an anxious wreck to do that.

Here's a list of what my name isn't though:
- Sno
- Snow
- Sh¡t
- Sin
- Sinner
- Stella
- Sara/h
- Savage
- Shira
- Snob
- Sherry Wine
- Storm
- Stratosphere
- Soulless
- Sam
- Sally
- Snazzy
- Snickety
- Shiz
- Shaniquwea
- School
- Shrek

Um.. yeah.

In conclusion, I like ice cream.

Bye!!!!!