Sunshine day

Get it? Since today's her birthday. Erm yeah.

I love dogs lol.

I love cats too lol. I don't do pet birthday posts for my cats because I don't know their birthdays, unfortunately.

Today was a sunny day in my.. uh.. general location. Yeah, general location lol.

I think I vented on this day last year. I vented a lot last year. This blog is a cursed heck site full of pre-2017 cryptid me.

Watch me slowly turn this post into a vent. Omg lmao.

I'll be surprised if I post between Tuesday and Thursday. I'm so busy with stuff. And by that, I mean school things. For the most part.

I'm in the middle of working on a project as I'm typing this post. I hate projects like these.

One project down. Two to go.

*screams into the void*

I'm going out tomorrow. And of course that's the day it's raining. Uh, I'll complain more about this later.

In the meantime, let's talk about April and May.

*screams louder into the void*

So guys. It's April. Don't know what that means? Well, I'll tell you.

April is the month of "studying like hell" for me. Maybe for you too. I don't know your personal lives, so I don't know about you. But for me? I gotta study a lot this month.

Time to cry? Um lol?

If I somehow force myself to go inactive on here and other sites you might know me on, it's probably because I'm busy studying and stressing.

1) SAT
2) AP exam

Big tests. Very stressful. Gotta do lots of preparations. Lots of studying- and actual studying at that.

Both are during the first week of May. Haha, the time to suffer.

I'm starting a new SAT refresher course this Sunday. So that means I have to get a good score when I take it in May. Or else I'm screwed. Ha, ha.

My AP exam is supposedly one of the hardest ones. Haha, so great right. I'm terrified. Real life sucks.

And if that's not enough, my birthday is next month and I'm terrified about that too.

"But why, Cutepups? Why are you terrified about your birthday? :)" you ask.

Well. Well, well, well then. Time to explain to those who don't get what it means.

Ok sure yeah. :")

Where I -the fool who is called Cutepups- am from, there's this thing you have to do on your 17th birthday. It's called the driver's test. The test where you actually drive a car.

Driving makes me nervous in general. I still suck at parking. Being alone with strangers makes me a little nervous. I have anxiety (about this).

It was scary enough for me to take driving lessons. But knowing that I have to take the test on my birthday because it has to be that way and having the pressure of my siblings who easily passed theirs the first time.. well, it's making this feel a lot more terrifying than lessons.

*screams for a longer time into the void*

Ok I'm done. :")

Anyway, I just feel like saying this. I love Danny/Fierdan as a character. As a character. That doesn't mean I love and excuse all his actions. Because let's face it. He is filthy trash who is evil and he's bad. I actually do hate who he is. Being a killer and constantly saying it wasn't him.. mm Fierdan, that's not okay. That's messed up, dude. I don't know how to actually word things, so bare with me. I really love Fierdan because he's one of the only main characters that my story-planning and thinking has gotten so deep in. Like, um, the complexity of his character (is he evil? is he good?- spoilers) just makes him so interesting to me. That's what I love. I feel like what I say feels like I'm glorifying him and his actions, but that's not exactly the case on point. Honestly, it likely is because I'm in the middle of planning out pre-Fierdan chapters where it's all about the gang as humans and his father. And like. There are reasons why the brothers hated their father so much. It kinda makes the fact that Fierdan killed him not seem as demonic savagery. Due to all that's happened. But like. Killing anyone is pretty much demonic savagery. So like. Fierdan. Evil? Not as evil as originally thought? Actually a pretty good guy? Well, I don't know. All three maybe? Ok maybe two.

In Chapter 70, Fierdan- or would it be better to say Danny since he's more human?- has downright accepted the fact that he can't fully turn back human- the fangs and nails mentioned in the chapter- because killing people made him lose his humanity (in the metaphorical sense). This basically means that he, in some way, knows he's a monster. So how would post-Fierdan look? Who knows at this point. There's also the Duke factor to include in post-Fierdan. So it's a mystery.

And back to elaborating on that part above about complaining and rain.

I'm going to be outside for a while tomorrow because of this thing. Outside is possible rain.

When I get my haircuts, I get my hair straightened too. Which means I got my hair straightened in that fancy salon style way.

Rain + haircut don't mix.

Haha. Life is funny, huh?

My hair is actually so curly that having it straightened is probably making it look at least an inch longer than it usually is.

Haha. Who is this Cutepups fool, amirite?

Oh and I changed my mind. I, according to what my dad said, "didn't get my head shaved."

I mean yeah. My hair's noticeably shorter than before. But it's not short-short. If you know what I mean.

To make it story relatable, my hair is as long as it looks in my profile pic of Duke.

Gotta make it relatable. To the story. To my guy.

*screams into the void again*

Happy birthday, Sunshine.

ily ♡