um ok

Hi. *throws a post at you* :)

So anyway. That thing I said I about going out for a while last post? Well, haha, I actually didn't do that thing.

Someone was going to take me, but then said person realized that they couldn't take me. So I couldn't really go to the thing.

Oh and I also have two projects that I'm still procrastinating on doing. Haha fun.

I hate making iMovies. Everything's so complicated. Gah, I can't stand it.

Today sure was a rollercoaster of emotions. Whew, I get too many of those in a day. Tired, happy, confident, wanting to die, embarrassed, annoyed, frustrated, feeling like everything relating to school is working against me, chill, tired, umm?? what a wide range.

Haha wtf.

Uh, have a skit.

Me 1: lol you're getting a haircut today
Me 2: lol yeah you sure are
Me 1: here's my plan- cut all your hair off
Me 2: what?! no!!
Me 1: face it, you hate having hair in your face when it's down, your hair is too thick, you look decent enough with it short--
Me 2: that was like 6 years ago, you dumb dumb!
Me 1: but that person--
Me 2: it would be impossible to have my hair look the same as theirs
Me 1: hair is annoying
Me 2: we all know what you're gonna do, foolish cutepups. you're just gonna cut off one inch.
Me: cuts off three inches. wow what a rebel :^)

Rip me. *sinks into grave.. i mean bed?*

So onto the next topic- self confidence and self esteem.

If you know me long enough, you would know that I have very little or none of that.

Haha wow so fun.

So when I do something wrong and in front of a lot of people, I.. uh.. want to die? umm.

Want to know why I call myself a fool? It's because I am one. Gosh, what's so hard to understand?

I say something to a teacher and I did the thing not completely right and the class is looking- like hello there embarrassment.

Why do I even speak? I messed up. Haha why bother. I'm a fool who should just go. Leave and hide.

Man, it's so easy for me to have my confidence zapped away from me. It's so hard to get it. But so easy to have taken away. Which really sucks.

I made myself look like a fool. Gosh ok. Tone down the anxiety. Yeah sure. That's easy for someone else to say.

Mm haha social anxiety feels. Mm relatable.

It's like I can't ever do anything right. I constantly mess something up when it comes to teacher.

Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa I hate school.