Skit universe: Duke and Fierdan's birthday on December 19th. They're now somehow 18 and 20 in the skits. Yeah.
[Date: December 19th. Time: 10:30 am. Location: School, in the class that Duke and Brock share..?]
Brock: *speaking loudly and enthusiastically* Hey Teach, guess what today is?
Teacher: *sighs* I have a name, Brock.
Brock: Oh, I'm sorry. Ms. Teacher, I mean.
Teacher: *rolls eyes and sighs*
Brock: *pushes Duke in front of him because he was standing behind Brock for some reason?*
Duke: Umm.. hi.
Teacher: *looks at Duke with less annoyance* What is it, Duke?
Duke: I...
Brock: *shouting?* It's this boy's birthday!
Duke: *looks sweetly at the teacher but also like he's going to stab Brock with a pen*
Teacher: *adjusts glasses* Is that so?
Duke: Uh.. yes.
Teacher: Okay, and why did Brock have to yell this information to me?
Duke: I have no idea.
Teacher: Okay, happy birthday.
Duke: Thanks.
Brock: Since it's Duke's 18th birthday, we should have a party and not do any work!
Duke: Uh, Brock, what is wrong with you?
Brock: *whispers in Duke's ear but loudly* I don't want to do any work in this class.
Teacher: I can hear you.
Duke: *grabs Brock's sleeve and pushes him away from the teacher desk*
Brock: Darn.
Duke: You're.. I can't think of any words to say to you.
Brock: But it's your birthday, and I overheard you and Twinkle talking about how turning 18 is special for you.
Duke: We still have to do classwork in school, dude.
Brock: *mutters* You really are a nerd.
Duke: *face heats up* I'm not!
Brock: Uh yeah, you are.
[Same date and location but in the school cafeteria. Brock is introducing Duke to a few very tall guys. Where is everyone else? I don't know. Pfft.]
Brock: Yo!
Guy 1: Oh hey, Brock, who's he?
Duke: *speaking to Brock* Why did you drag me here? Who are they?
Brock: They're my friends.
Duke: *gasps* You have friends?
Brock: Yeah.
Duke: Whoa!
Guy 1: *offers hand to Duke* Hi.
Duke: *hesitantly shakes Person 1's hand* Uh.. hi.
Brock: It's his birthday.
Guy 1: Oh huh, that's cool.
Brock: He's 18 now.
Guy 1: That's rad.
Duke: *looks away from them* Where is Finny?
Guy 1: Who?
Duke: My friend. Finny. Where is he?
Guy 1: I don't know who he is.
Duke: Ugh! *tries to push past the tall guys*
Guy 2: *scoffs* You're 18 now, huh?
Duke: *sighs* Yeah, I am. And I don't know why Brock brought me here to meet you guys. What, are all you guys 18?
Guy 2: I'm 16, shortie.
Duke: Shortie?
Guy 2: Yeah, you're so short.
Brock: *fiddles with thumbs*
Guy 3: You're older than all of us, but you're so short.
Brock: Umm...
Duke: For your information, I'm not short.
Guy 3: Compared to us, yeah you are.
Brock: Duke's nickname is supposed to be drunkie. Not shortie.
Guy 2: So he's short and drunk?
Guy 1: Dude, you're wild.
Duke: Mm. *looks bitter*
Guy 1: Well, it was nice to meet you.
Duke: You're the only one here who I don't want to stab with a plastic fork.
Guy 3: Why are short people so bitter and violent?
Brock: It's--
Duke: *cuts Brock off, yells* Brock, do me and favor and shut up!
Brock: What did I do--
Duke: What did you do? Are you kidding me? You've been annoying me all day! You don't have to announce to everyone that it's my birthday!
Guy 2: He wanted to introduce us to you. Chillax, shortie.
Duke: And I'm not freaking short, stupid!
Guy 2: *starts laughing*
Duke: *looks up at Guy 2 and glares* Why are you laughing? *balls hands into fists*
Guy 2: You amuse me.
Duke: I'm funny, you say?
Guy 2: Yeah, shortie.
Duke: How the hell am I short? Cutepups says I'm either 5'7" or 5'8".
Brock: Relax--
Duke: No! I'm not gonna relax. He's pissing me off; you're pissing me off.
Guy 1: Watch your language.
Duke: Shut the f*ck up, you!
Guy 3: You.. what?
Duke: The word I thought of saying would be too inappropriate for your ears.
Guy 3: Oh, really?
Duke: *stares defiantly at him too* Yeah.
[Their conversation gets interrupted by Finny and Twinkle.]
Finny: Oh, there you are!
Duke: Mmmfrrgh.
Finny: What?
Duke: *coughs* These are Brock's school friends.
Twinkle: *sounds offended?* Brock has other friends?
Duke: Yeah. Apparently, he likes befriending boys who like making fun of anyone shorter than 6'2".
Twinkle: 6'2"? That's tall.
Duke: And look, they're all tall.
Brock: They weren't making fun of you for your height, drunkie. I'm not even 6'.
Duke: Then why did they call me shortie?
Finny: Wow, you get offended so easily, Duke.
Guy 2: Can you take a joke? We didn't mean to upset you.
Duke: *speaking sarcastically* Yeah sure. You totally are sincere. You're making fun of me because I'm older than you and shorter--
Twinkle: Hold on. This argument is the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed.
Finny: This is pretty stupid.
Twinkle: It's very stupid. Shut up, Duke.
Duke: Tch.
Guy 1: What?
Duke: *speaking to the three tall guys* Don't come up to me, don't talk to me, don't make eye contact with me ever again. *walks away bitterly*
Brock: Heh.. sorry about him. He has bad memories with two taller, but older, guys.
Guy 2: Sure he did.
Brock: *sighs* They kidnapped him, tried to kill him several times, and mutilated his body. So.. yeah.. no big deal, right.
Finny: When did he tell you?
Twinkle: Aww, you're defending Duke. Do you like him, Brock?
Guy 2: What the hell do you mean by that? Do you honestly think I would believe you?
Brock: I would believe what I tell you about my friend, Duke, if I were you.
Guy 3: Why would people try to kill a kid?
Twinkle: You don't have the right to know about our lives before coming to this school. We don't want to scar you guys for life.
Guy 2: What the f*ck...
[~~~ Void TM ~~~ ????????????????????]
[Date: December 19th. Time: 1:15 pm. Location: House- Fierdan talking to Ryen in the kitchen.]
Fierdan: *looking through the fridge* Have any drinks?
Ryen: *sighs* It's only 1 pm.
Fierdan: Yeah so?
Ryen: And you know you're the only one who drinks in skits.
Fierdan: So what? I'm thirsty.
[Fauna enters the room.]
Fauna: I threw out the alcohols.
Ryen: I didn't--
Fierdan: *avoids eye contact with them, whistles, tries to look casual?*
Ryen: Umm.. Danny?
Fierdan: *continues to look awkwardly casual*
Ryen: Danny?
Fierdan: Don't know him.
Ryen: *sighs* Fierdan, do you know what she means? I didn't buy any alcohol.
Fierdan: And neither did I.
Ryen: Okay, then who did?
Fierdan: I don't know.
Ryen: Look at me!
Fierdan: I'd rather not.
Fauna: Wow, I just assumed he wanted alcohol. There wasn't any alcohol, you fools.
Fierdan: *stops avoiding eye contact and looking awkwardly casual* I knew that.
Ryen: Don't scare me like that!
Fauna: *shrugs and leaves the room*
Ryen: Oh, I know what we can do!
Fierdan: *takes water bottle out of fridge, twists off the cap* Do what now?
Ryen: Holiday gift shopping.
Fierdan: On my birthday?
Ryen: Yeah, it's almost Christmas.
Fierdan: *holds up hand to slap Ryen*
Ryen: *grabs Fierdan's hand* Good, let's go.
Fierdan: What the f*ck is this skit, Cutepups?
Me: I don't know. Bye.
Fierdan: What?
Me: Bye!
....... and this is the result of having no clear skit ideas.
(tf is this? dam n)
~ Cutepups
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