lol time wtf

........ It's the last day of May now. Somehow. 

How did that happen? Where did the time go? Tomorrow is June? 

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

lol wtf that's so weird. that's crazy. may.. over. june.. tomorrow. wtf. 

I'm so tired. Had to do things yesterday (Wednesday), I worked on and finished some stuff, but my stress and anxiety levels are rising again despite that. 

I'm not really "ok" lmao. Hi, what's up? How you doing? I'm scared of what's gonna happen to me in the next few weeks. I'm scared of everything, haha ha. 

And I'm annoying. And stupid. And just.. why. "Cutepups, Blue, Spirit, Ghost"- just.. why. Online names.. why. *sigh* :/ 

At least my projects for school aren't that awful. They're.. manageable, I guess. "I can do this"- hell yeah, say that motivation thing (@ me). 

I still feel incompetent and so stupid though lmao. 

I just want a peaceful rest. I'm so tired. So, so tired. 

I want my mind to shut up. I want my fears to end. I want to not hate myself even more when I realize how irrational my thoughts and beliefs can get. I want to be truly happy without worrying about when I'll crash down next. 

I'm very tired of so much about me. It's getting harder by the day to stand myself. 

Well, at least my parents haven't been fighting for a few days. At least that's something good. 

I'm scared I'm ruining my own life due to my (in)decisions. 

.......... and writing my feelings and thoughts down barely helps me anymore. 

nothing is really helping. 

tired. bye. 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~~