Alright...

Gonna make this short. (Just kidding, it's not short at all. :P)

*sigh* Yes, this is another post where I gotta get something off my chest.

But first...

What I'm gonna go type about is mainly about a day or two ago. I'm actually in a happy mood right now (like how the USA won the World Cup- woo! :D), but I really have to say this..

But that doesn't mean what I'm saying in this post isn't true. Because it is.

So... yeah. Well, here goes.........

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 So... I'm kinda feeling a teeny bit guilty. If you actively view this blog and my DeviantArt, then you'd probably know that I typed up this Journal on DA ranting about how this sudden commenter came on here and basically commented how much they think Twinkle's Story is terrible.

Well... Now that I think about it, I think I misread her (pretty sure it's a "her" o.<) comment. Because, you see....

Right after I first read that comment, I went immediately to DA and ranted on there. And it was late my time then, too. So I originally thought her comment was about Pokemon (which it was about lol), but I also thought she commented about how terrible she thinks my writing (Twinkle's Story) is with all the cliches.

And my immediate reaction was what you see in that DA Journal.

*sigh*

But after re-reading and thinking it through, I realized how wrong I must've sounded. :(

Because now I think she was just giving her honest (unpopular, it seems) opinion about the story. And besides I've got to admit, what she said is TRUE. (She didn't exactly say the story itself/my writing is "terrible", I just interpreted that she meant that when I first read it.). The story has so many annoying cliches (yes, I know how annoying they are, you don't have to hide from me how you really feel about them :/). My writing isn't as emotional as I set up for it to be. (I doubt I actually made anyone cry to tears in any point in the story. But when (for example) I typed Chapter 16, I actually thought my writing would make/possibly make a reader of the story actually cry in real life. Now I know it honestly isn't emotional enough.).

Look, all you newcomers. When I started typing Twinkle's Story back in my beginning blogging months of 2014, I never, I repeat never, thought about it seriously. I had no flipping idea I would grow to obsess with it so much and turn it into a story where I personally view my own self-progress in story-writing. (Yes guys, I use it to mark my progress. Got a problem with that (or anything I'm saying in this post), then just leave. Simple as that.)

Back in April/May/June 2014, I was thinking of making Twinkle's Story a short (oh, the irony :'D) chapters story that is simple to understand. Like (if I can remember lol), I originally intended it to be like this.:

Phantoms attack Twinkle at field trip, Duke "rescues" her, they eventually get to love each other, things happen and Twinkle ends up being at hospitals twice, Duke and his abusive past, the hospital floor, they both rebel against how their current government is set up, they have to fight against phantoms because of the corruption, and then they lose the battle and Jamaa dies into uncontrolled corruption and devastation. And that's it.

Now if you read every chapter up to now, you know that's absolutely not the case.

Because now it's way more complicated/confusing. (Cuz I'm evil that way. >:D)

Hmm, let's see.....:

The governments.

Who they truly are.

More characters.

Fierdan is the symbolization of Zios and "Mira"'s offspring they both caused onto themselves, the phantoms. (Like how Mira cried when Zios "disappeared", and her tears mixed with Jamaa's new elements to form the phantoms. Yeah that. But with my mix on it. (;<). But he isn't an actual phantom. (That's all I'll say for now.). Fierdan himself is the puppet (of melancholy) to Soulless (more on that later on) and Zios and Mira. And practically the world(s). While Duke is their puppet as well as Fierdan's. (Duke is actually only Fierdan's evil, and he grows to be a heartless evil jerk. Doesn't know earlier because of the memory-wipe and stuff.).

Yeah, there you go. :L

So, where was I?

Oh, right.

'Bout those cliches. If I use my original ending ideas for Twinkle's Story, that ending would definitely include a whole lot more cliches than the ending idea I have now. (Not saying it doesn't include cliches, it still does. >.<). And it just sounds better, in my opinion. :3

And honestly, I'm not staying that focused on where the story currently is. You see, I'm actually more focused on how all their Elemental Powers work, their related powers (hard to explain at the moment), the 2nd story...

Yeah, I'm planning out ideas for the 2nd story when I didn't even finish the first story yet. XD

And I think I'm planning THOSE ideas better than the current story point. And the "hidden" ones with the Elemental Powers, but they're not like Twinkle and Fierdan (Duke).

And I barely even use the name, Duke, anymore. I just use Fierdan. (Ugh, hard to explain cuz I can't. Deal with it. :U)

Whoa, where is this going? XD

Oh, I basically summarized my truthful "hidden" story thoughts in a comment over on my friend's blog.

Eh, I'll just copy and paste my comment onto here. K.

This one huge paragraph:

Okay, I'm gonna tell you the truth. When I read some specific parts of The Dertavs, I imagine that instead of the POV being Suzan's, I, well I imagine, it's you who's the narrator in the story. Like, for example, when you describe Suzan as being short and playing the clarinet in band class, I can't help but to automatically think of you. Because, you told me that's what describes YOURSELF, ha ha. I can tell how much effort you're putting into this series and your writing in general. I, too, can FEEL Suzan and all the other characters there. It's like I'm a background person observing the specific scene unravel right in front of me. I can FEEL how dangerous and terrible the world is in for them. (Basically how I feel when I read my favorite novels.) And you, Mutant, are just like that (apart from the occasional grammatical error). I can just imagine you being so professional with your writing (like I imagine you writing/typing on this desk with story notes cluttered at your desk for hours and hours XD). But I can also imagine how frustrated you are at yourself for trying so hard (but that's a good thing, ha ha). And honestly, I'm so jealous of you (and everyone else). I'm personally a very self-conscious person who (at times) thinks I'm not good enough. And nowadays, I, well, feel that all you guys know what you're doing, and are, like, successful. Like, for example, you have something special in your writing that I don't know what to call. And I know I'm lacking what you have. It's almost as if writing is a natural talent for you. (I don't have any true natural talents I'm the best at.. meh.). And that's also why I'm secretly jealous of you (and Gamer too). You two have just something beautiful, whether it be in your chapters or poems, and I still can not figure out what it is. I don't know how you can possibly be dissatisfied with your writings at all. I, on the other hand, feel like it's impossible for me to actually try my best at anything I do (writing, drawing, dancing, playing my clarinet, doing homework, taking assessments... anything like that), and truthfully late at night right after I publish a Twinkle's Story chapter, I'm almost always like this: "wow, finished a chapter and it's great! :D" but then after reality hits (re-reading it) I think and know it's crap. (Yes, in comparison to your writing, I think mine is complete crap.). And after getting comments that tell me my story writing is bland and cliche-after-cliche, I honestly can't blame them. Because I think that way, too. Maybe that's why I've been so frustrated at myself, that some of my story readers see my writing in the same dark light I see it as. I really want to improve my writing (make it less bland, more emotional, like the spark in your writings), but I simply do not know how. And that's why I'll always love every written work you make, and always be jealous of you. 

~ Cutepups

So yeah. I honestly think my actual writing is (at times) crap. And (at times) I get jealous of my fellow blogger/DA friends, Mutant (who I was talking to in the comment) and Gamer, because I think their writings (story chapters and poems) are better than my writing. (I strongly suggest checking out Mutant's story wip, The Dertavs, I love it so much <3).

So no. I don't adore my writing. But I also don't hate all of it. (Not trying to get attention or anything, idk. *shrugs*).

Oh my, I've been typing longer than I expected... *blinks wide-eyed*

I also got into rant-mode (idk whatever you um calls it XD) when I saw that person's comment because it was the first comment I actually got from someone who said they actually disliked Twinkle's Story. So that's another reason why I got so mad at her.

And to be honest (wow, how many times did I type that already lol), when it comes to reading comments that I have to publish on days when I post a new chapter, I do get a bit stressed out. (I'm a very sensitive person, okay.). Like for comments critiquing the chapter or story in general (you know who you are), it takes me a longer time for me to figure out what to reply so it doesn't look like we're in a miscommunication. So that's why it takes me a while longer for me to reply to critiquing comments than just straightforward, few sentence comments. 

This doesn't mean I don't think you should critique my chapters. I still appreciate how you critique my writing to help me improve my writing. That I appreciate. But just saying you dislike my writing, I don't appreciate. 

I really hope you guys understand what I mean by this... ^^

So yeah. I really have to wrap this post up.

I know, I know. This probably looks like a muddled mess post. I apologize for that. DX

Well, that's that.

Good night (or whatever the time is when you read this). :)

~ Cutepups