Another one of these...

Hi again. Hope you thought my trolly-rolly post before this one was somewhat humorous. I just went bowling when I was in camp on Friday, and I got 4 strikes in a single game, both times twice in a row. That is... odd..? (I'm not a bowler. XD)

Oops, turn the previous post into a 360 for this post. Woopdeefreakingdoo. :T

So without further ado, Cutepups serious/ventish post she always happens to type up late at night!

~~~~~~~~~~~

(Not directed at any of you in particular... for once.)

I'm "sorry" I'm not perfect.

I'm "sorry" that I'm not interested in the things you were interested in when you were my age.

I'm "sorry" that I have no perfect grades.

I'm "sorry" I'm not necessarily a "people-person".

And, last but not least, I'm "sorry" for not wanting to have conversations only about school when it's summer break.

Summer Break. Is a Break from School during the Summer.

Can I ever get a break from being reminded how much I think/know I'm a fail because of school?

Obviously not since my family thinks it's wonderful to always talk about school and "the future" even though school is the main reason why I believe I'm failing at life.

And I just did some work on my summer math packet. Oh. My. God. No. :I

I complete a page (4 or 5 problems) confidently and think, "Wow, I understand these math concepts. I feel like I accomplished something in life! :)"

Yeah, right... That must always go down the drain of pain and misery, right? Right.

Then I think, "Yep, it must be official. I'm mentally retarded when it comes to math. :("

Always. There's always something "wrong". Wrong sign, distributed incorrectly (wrong step (too soon/too late), wrong numbers, etc.), combined incorrectly, used the formula at the wrong time, did step twice, simplified incorrectly, etc, etc, etc.

I always screw up at least one part of the problem when I'm trying to solve it. And this is why I'm never confident in any darn math-related (more like algebra and some geometry, but mostly algebra so far) thing I do. 

"You have to have more confidence when it comes to math, *insert my name here*!" they say.

Well... How can I have confidence in math when I think and know that I'm a retard when it comes to it, that gets proven to be true when you find my mindless mistakes for just about every problem I attempt to solve?

Confidence in something you already know for a fact that you absolutely suck at?

Never gonna happen. :/

And even though it is summer, my family (especially my sister) has to remind me about the tortuous stress-creating machine which is school. In addition to having to do summer work. In addition for me never not thinking about school which makes me feel like crap.

Hey, maybe that's why I can't make more meaningful posts anymore!

I can't turn back and be how I was before.

I don't think I can ever be that carefree and happy again.

Yeah, I used to think these thoughts for a short time and when school was still in session.

Not anymore now.

I know I've been lacking some key quality in the posts I type on here. Maybe this is the reason why..? I don't know.

~ S who doesn't know what she's doing in life... at all.

I, for one, have no freaking idea who/what I actually am when it comes to stuff in life. //not related to math lol//

Lol I mean Cutepups, not S. XD

Why S?

Because.

S.

PS: Why don't I just let the "and more" part of my banner slogan mean my serious/vent posts since that's basically the only other thing I blog about.

PPS: Blogging is a form of journalism. Me typing on here personal posts like these are kinda sorta like my personal, figurative journal. I don't care if I don't post about AJ-related things. It's MY blog, I have the right to choose what to post about. Not you.

PPPS: Oh, you can't do that? Well, too bad you've got to sit down and freaking wait. I'm not totally comfortable about this...

~ Me

Edit: 

Hey guys, I'm back. I'm okay, I promise. Just was... uh... something that's been bothering me for quite some time now. But now (or for the moment, anyways), I don't care. It's over with. I spent time with my sister all day today (like, just the two of us because of reasons, mk). And for the first time in a really long time, she didn't annoy me with bringing up school (no, I didn't show her this post). So that's also why I wasn't checking/on Blogger and DA earlier today (also due to the fact I decided to give Completely Wonderless a second chance. I read around 10 chapters today, haha.). So anyways, I'm currently on good terms with my family, which is good. I also did some more of my math packet... the thing is they didn't check my work yet. Hopefully, I didn't do anything stupid this time (even after checking like a gazillion times lol). In summary, this post is just a mess of thoughts I have had that have been bothering me for a while now. And now I've, well... let it go. I'm fine now, guys. Sorry for so many serious/vent/rant posts recently. I like being (kinda) personal (if you know what I mean). So yeah. Love you, friends. <3