So cut the chase, I promised to translate the poem I left on the post prior to this one.
Without further ado, here goes... *takes long sigh*
(Oh, where to start?)
Well, uh... It's mainly about how I lied and let almost all of you down.
(I can just explain it as that, but I'm not gonna be even more of a jerk than I already am. c:)
Remember this contest?
By now I bet you all see that as being a crappy lie. (I know you do, don't deny it and say you love me. um... what. o.o).
So blahblahblah, what's taking (what, 5 million years? :I) for me to post the results and give out prizes and all that good stuff that I can't stop thinking about and where you guys think I totally abandoned it?
Two words: The Rules.
Only two (half) followed them completely. The other half? Not as much.
Not trying to point anyone out in particular, but some of them didn't read the entire post. (Like how I said to comment in a specific way in the comment section for that blog post.).
Ugh, I'm really trying to not sound like a complete.. butt. But I kept on thinking, if I let this person win *insert rank here* and not this person, would it be hypocritical? That person's entry is more voted for and I really love it, but it doesn't follow all the directions. But on the other hand, this person's entry follows more of the directions, but it's less voted for.
(I swear I'm done overthinking this way too delayed contest. :/)
Ugh, I'm scared I'm gonna let some of you down due to me being a hypocrite. >.< :(
But, that's not all. Due to this contest, other things come out of it. And due to the fact of how long I've "been away" from it, it even brought me to the point of getting so sick/stressed of this contest. And heck, I thought doing a contest would be fun and not like a hell in my head. So many times in May and June, I couldn't stop overthinking this and knowing how much I lied about all this. Whenever I thought a SINGLE Twinkle's Story thought- even thinking their NAMES- I thought about this for just about every day. And it made me have minor anxiety, and disturbing dreams (whats with all my disturbing nightmarish dreams nowadays o-o?).
Basically, it took over my life. Like, consumed my soul. (oh that sounds deep, man)
So if you think I forgot all about it, then you sir, ma'am, whatever, ARE COMPLETELY WRONG
Anyways, I also promised you guys that I'll post my drawing of this. (Yeah, I did. Read the contest post fully.) But the thing is, for just about every darn Twinkle's Story drawing I've done (or should I say STILL working on?) I constantly change it. (How in the world can I post reference sheets for the characters, if I constantly change how they look (eyes, hair, facial structure, snout area- especially those ones <<) every other day?)
And just for my "There's a part in all of us that wants to be free" drawing, I keep switching from drawing Duke and Twinkle with devastated and grief-stricken eyes (the meaning of the quote corresponds with those emotions, so...) and bright determined eyes; to make their lower half of their faces (like where the cheeks, nose, mouth, chin are located) have that fluffy fox cheeks that are on AJ foxes (can never get that right, it makes them look like they have messed up mustaches lol) or not; how to make their hair and fur (especially on Duke... ugh) look good and decent and at least somewhat accurate to how I visualize him (which is nearly impossible for me to do); where to put the angles in their faces so they don't look like unrealistic blobs; the shading; the anatomy; the details in their clothing; to put hues (Fierdan and Fauna as flowing spirits in the sky) behind Duke and Twinkle or not; how to make that building look like it's corrupted and is burning to nothing; and that should be it.
And with all that erasing I've done, it still looks like such a total fail and mess. .-.
And what's even great is when your camera magically makes all photos appear way more blurry than they really are. Which is just great (sense the sarcasm). It's so freaking annoying, oh my god.
The sailboat was me referring to my sailboat painting I made and had near me when I typed the poem up.
The angel wings refer to you guys who are involved in this post in any way. (Because you guys are like my lovely angels, haha.) and especially those of you who have OCs with (white, angel) wings (you know who you are, haha).
I really don't feel like going on with this, so I'll cut it here.
Goodbye.
Oh man I don't think I submitted it properly DX. But if the contest is stressing you out that much, then cancel it. You don't HAVE to show the drawing you did, or continue the contest if you really don't want to. I don't really have much to say other than that XD
ReplyDeleteMhmm...
DeleteUgh, it would just make me feel more guilty. :(
WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER
ReplyDeleteSORRY I'M LISTENING TO THE RADFIO SINCE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO IN THIS BEACH HUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
YEE TAYLOR SWIFT :D
DeleteXD
Wow arctic. Do you even care about cutepups? When she's happy your her friend but when she's down you don't care. Instead of saying something to make her feel better like her other real friends do you just say that. And it seems like you are a little self-centered. And it seems that you only care about "Twinkle's story"
DeleteWell.. actually... I'm two-sided about that. True, I think Arctic could take my serious "vent-ish" posts more seriously and leave a more serious comment. However, I also think that his not-as-long and serious/solemn tone in his comments make me crack a smile at the random silliness. Like when I'm still feeling down (thinking about what's bothering me), the joking mood in his comment cheers me up and sets it aside from all the way longer and serious comments. But don't get me wrong. I also think Arctic should be serious when I want him to be, acknowledge and understand the point(s) I'm trying to get across, and make supportive comments. And yeah, I think he can be self-centered at times, and only the actual story and not the stress that comes out of it. So.. meh.
Delete*care about the actual story
DeleteSorry I've gone, my computer brok-
DeleteWHO'S BEEN IMPOSTORING AS ME??!!
... wait what O_O
DeleteWE MUST FIND OUT WHO IS THE IMPOSTOR. A RANDOM ANON? OR?
DeleteUhhuh. I assumed for the most part what this was about. Just pick something for you to do about the contest- no one is going to be upset at you for what you do or who you choose to win. Since it's your contest- YOU are the one who chooses who win, the poll results/directions don't nessasarily affect that. If you're so stressed about it, take a moment to look at the art, and the themes for each piece. Whatever strikes you as a winner, than make them a winner! No one is going to be upset with you, we're all your friends here. Heck, choose me to be fourth place if you're so worried- I entered this contest to give you something special; not to win any prizes. We love you, Cutepups- we would never hate you or hold remorse against you for anything you do or did. If you don't know who to pick, go with your gut. It's not going to help you any if you keep going on like this and worrying about it. Mostly, I was just curious about the results to see what you thought of my art piece, actually :"D and I like compliments and stuff and happy things like that. c:
ReplyDeleteDon't be so anxious, girlie! I get like that too a lot! But soon this will be something that will pass you by. Find something more fun to do!! Look up art tutorials (or I'll make some for you lol) to help you with your piece! Just relax; cos hey, we're all here for you and we'll support you 100%!!! Whatever you choose!! And I bet your art will turn out fantastic! Even if it takes a while, at least I will wait that long c:!!
Don't forget!!! I am here for you whenever you need it!!! Remember that!!! <3
You don't know how much this comment means to me. So thank you, Queen Claire that's a Gamer and Reaches for the Sky. (lol) <3
DeleteIt's alright, Cutepups! It's your competition, so it's your decision. I know I wasn't one to enter but I'm sure most of your wonderful friends entered and I'm most likely sure that they'll support and understand you no matter what! :)))
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, b. :)))
Delete