So I was just on AJ (which I usually don't go on around this time anymore), and my AJ "sis" (for what, 2 years now? yeah..) was on. So then we did one of those original phantom Adventure things. "Phantom Portal" or something like that.
Ah, it was kinda fun and so nostalgic! XD
She's another great AJ buddy person gurl.
Cutepups approves. o3o
I only use the "o3o" face when I'm being random/in a derpy mood.
Because... it just is, okay?
Ah yes... :')
But unfortunately for the other topic of this post, that'll probably take a 360.
Mhmm...
So... Erm... How to put this? o.e
Uh... I'll just write a short little
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I know, I know I'm so delayed
I know, I know you're still waiting for something after you paid.
It's about time I've let this burden go
I wish I can explain better, but oh no
I can't except if you want more lies
So many that fly in the dark gray skies.
Look, you're honest, reliable, trustworthy- friend, I love you
You're beautiful, you and your papers filled in a colorful hue.
I'm stupid, I'm a fool
I wouldn't be surprised if you think I just used you as a tool.
I'm so sorry I let so many of you down
You're probably secretly sick of my excuses, probably flown
Far away from me on your pearly white angel wings.
But this pain, it still stings
No, I'm not surprised if you think less of me
Wrong intentions- what should I do, who should I be?
If I can put into words how many times
I can say "I'm sorry", a melodic tune can be heard on the chimes.
I know it's been a while
According to my file
Two months have passed, and I wasted them, poured your spark down the drain.
But it starts as a chain
A chain that chokes me up inside
So many lies on the outside
It wraps around my throat
So many times, like how many waves are caused by that sailboat.
But if you can still forgive me after all this
Then I know you fill me with bliss.
Because I'm drowning here, in my own painful sorrow
I kept on saying, "I'll tell them tomorrow", but I never did- never did "tomorrow"
And now two months have passed by
This regret has caused my wings to be clipped, no longer able to fly.
But you, you can still fly high
Almost as if you're shy
Shy of the ground that's just a speck beneath your shadow.
Meanwhile I'm fading to nothing- a silhouette, a shadow
Hidden away from the light of the day
And that small sailboat rides the waves in the bay.
So thank you for all you've done
Until you're gone.
Your magnificent art
It's ranked high on my chart.
I love what you drew, I really do
All the work you put into it is stuck to my brain like glue.
You've been expecting more from me, and I've gave you nothing
But you, you gave me everything.
You deserve results, you deserve answers, you deserve more
How much longer can I cling here for?
I was running away from you, stalling endlessly over and over
Away from reality, away from that unreal lover.
I appreciate it all
Banging my head on the wall.
If only you could all win
But that'll be my own sin.
Only three, only three can
But only one victor, and should I ban
Other contests due to my own shame?
Go ahead, I won't mind if you give me all the blame
No, I really won't and probably never will.
Reading this is giving me a chill
But I won't give in
This isn't "el fin".
Goodbye. <3
~ Cutepups522
OMG, I relate to this so much. Like, I had this role playing friend who I role played with for 9 months. But then I left without saying goodbye at all. Though when I came back a couple weeks later, they were so happy and my heart was just broken because these were the people who gave me joy earlier on, but now they're only people who probably forgot me from the days that I was gone.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'd sit down and think, "was I the glue in my group of role playing friends? Was I the one keeping them together? And now that I'm gone, are they gone too?" Because we used to be a clan and everything, but then we just went around doing random, confusing things. Sometimes we'd just sit down and just talk for hours into hours, and now they aren't even on anymore.
Ah, and all that happened on my side account- aka the account that I pretend to be a guy because I can. And I've never told them that I was really a girl, only that I had a sister (which was half true). Oh man, the nostalgia ;D
//not enough time to make "long comment"//
DeleteActually, the poem is a different topic entirely. The "nostalgia" part of this post was because I was excited (types that around 2 hours before the published time) and to lighten the mood of this post. In other words, this poem is about something completely else.
THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING AN OVER THINKER XD
DeleteEither depression writing or art. Almost sure of it. So tell us what you said you needed to say, we won't be mad at you.
Delete@ Mutant:
DeleteYES. XD
@ Anon.:
Oh, I'm gonna "translate" the poem in another post. It's because of what I wrote, and artworks that kinda (kinda) make me feel depressed. Yep...
If I ever get a Youtube account I'm probably gonna turn this poem into a song for no apaarent readon, I'll give you credit for the lyrics. Do I get permission?
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but that means so much to me! <3 ? .-. XD
DeleteWell, it's about some very specific things, and I titled it "More than a 'sorry'..." on my DeviantArt. But I think it'd be great to hear it as a song. Are you a singer lol? So as long as you give me full credit for the words (like song-writer lol), then alright.
I am shy.
DeleteI probably suck at singing but Youtube gets lots of people noticing your beautiful lyrics. I'm way to young for it right now though, I don't have a microphone or any recordy thing so.. We'll see.
Okay, and same for me (shy, unsure on singing talent or not, and no mic or recording device).
Deletedear, I feel like I know what this poem is about. You don't have to worry, I will always love you very much, no matter what you do or what happens. ^v^
ReplyDelete<3 ^~^
Delete