Random Things (my brain)

This is gonna get real personal, real quick. :-)

Won't be discussing creepy stalker clowns this time. :-)

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1. The main reasons for the negative-ish posts the other day was because I always get negative when my nostrils hurt, and I was stressing over homework.

2. I'm such a procrastinator that so far this year I've done so much of my homework at 5 or 6 am the day it's due. (smh i'm such a bad influence)

3. I'm keeping touch with my, like, one irl friend so much more nowadays. I really like this.

4. My entire body was shaking immediately after I published that last post.

5. No one has complimented my crappy photos of Sunshine and the new dog stuffed animal. The dog stuffed animal is in my lap as I'm typing this.

6. I feel like I don't have anyone I could really share all this sad personal life stuff (but not too personal) to, so I logically decided to share it on my once AJ blog for strangers on the internet to see. Yet I'm paranoid that I'm being judged and ridiculed at behind my back even on here.

7. I also post a lot on here because I like that Attention and Validation. Not getting much of that as back in the older blogging days. Smh.

8. I have to go to a new (for me at least) dental place for the people there to look at my teeth. Next week. Heck.

9. I'm procrastinating on my homework right now. (bad influence am i)

10. I walked into my house this afternoon to see Thelma knock over this container of walnuts, and then she started running away at full speed after she leaped down from the counter. Then my dad called to me, "That's your cat" with what I replied with, "Mhmm yeah".

11. I remember how this summer I was posting about how I wasn't looking forward to school at all since I thought I was gonna lose my one friend. When actually we started talking to each other more often.

12. Did you know, haha yeah, that I love stuffed animals. I love them so much. My family doesn't like that I have so many of them and always up for having more of them. Stuffed animals are currently useful for me because they help me when I'm sad and are anxiety reducers. Sometimes my pets aren't good at being helpful in that way.

13. I have a headache now. Yay for body aches.

14. When I was 12 or 13 I drew fan-art for the Wolves of the Beyond book series. I think my drawings from back then are way better than my drawings today. I actually could draw good wolf anatomy back then. Sure I used the book covers and pictures in the books as references (not tracing though; I'm also probably the worst at tracing lol), but still. Those drawings were quality pencil art. Too bad I lost them.

15. I suddenly remembered the other day that I once read this dragon book series (were they dragons?) and the females refused to be called queens because king was a higher name in status than queen.

16. I also read another dragon book series. It's so good. I forgot the names of the books (same with the other series at number 15), but I think some of the books in the series are called Icefire and Eternalflame. Or I could be totally wrong. (Wait, guys, I just checked to make sure. The series is called The Last Dragon Chronicles. I loved reading this series so much, can't believe I forgot all about it till today.)

17. For fantasy books, I find it hard to put the books down. But for realistic and historical fiction, it has been so hard for me to continue reading. I still have some historical fiction books in my bookshelf that I never finished reading, books from 2011 or something. Many years ago, my mom forced me to read this 540+ page historical fiction book. I kept on wanting to quit reading it but I couldn't do that.

18. I just made myself start thinking about all past books I read. Books are pretty awesome. Well, some at least.

19. I bet none of you want to know what I have to do in gym class, but I'll tell you guys anyway. I have to walk around the outdoor track for 45 minutes and can't stop walking. So fun. Walking. In circles.

20. A few weeks ago there were these students my age who were talking about how they go to bed at 9:30. Meanwhile I'm over there nearby thinking to myself, "Wow, I usually go to bed between 11 and 12 and actually fall asleep an hour after that".

21. I was daydreaming that I took a selfie with the outfit I wore on Sunday, but I didn't have acne and random parts of my face bleeding. And I had my hair tied up making my hair look short. But it made me not look like a much older person. So then my daydream ended with me posting the selfie to this blog and getting this comment from an Anonymous person that just said, "so gay". Well then, my daydreams are weirdly specific.

22. I still have comment moderation on because bad things happened the last time I took it off, and I'm paranoid it will somehow happen again. I doubt it, but I also have the feeling that I'll forget to read and reply to comments if I take it off. With it on, I can make myself reply to the comments as soon as I publish them. Or, well, I just ignore checking the comment moderation notifications because I'm scared of reading comments. Me, the walking contradiction.

23. Yesterday I watched these My Brain YouTube videos, and I also daydreamed that I made my own one. So I was daydreaming about how there's this one large blob at the front of the brain which I labeled The Void. Next to it was Despair. And next to that were these blobs the same size called Anxiety and Depression. Then I paused and was like, "wtf stop it you edgelord". Then I started including glittery pink and blue and labeled a blob at the opposite end Cute. Yeah, that was also weirdly specific.

24. I was also talking about how much I missed people because my dumb brain decided to think about one of my best friends in middle school. Freshman year, I became distant between my friends from middle school. They're totally different now in high school, oh boy wowie. Then in sophomore year, she moved away. And now I've lost touch and contact with her. Ayy, memories. Great stuff. Now that's one reason I was sad last school year. I miss her. Heck.

25. I also am constantly missing several other best friends I had in middle school but lost in high school. (rip me rip)

26. Haha, that's why I started becoming so much more active on the internet and this blog. For people on the internet stumbling when finding my blog to become my friends even though I'm an awkward fool.

27. Oh yeah. Also that kinda family member that died in October 2014. I think those posts of mine were probably the first real sad posts I ever written. I was sad, ok. Still miss him, like, family things are so empty and blank now. Also because my siblings aren't home much anymore. Less people.

28. My memory can be either very good or very bad. I'm not sure on this one. Ok so I was one sad blogger kid last November and December. I'm not sure if I'm thinking totally different dates, but maybe it was then that some family cousins of mine (like second or third? cousins) from that foreign country were kidnapped. Or maybe it was February. Everyone else in my life seemed to be more happy and having a more interesting life than mine in November and December, which is one I know is true.

29. This December I won't be spamming you guys with New Year's Eve posts and then New Year's Day posts. I won't be able to with no internet. Heck yeah, gonna have a life then and be on vacation.

30. I have quite a few bad social memories from elementary school which include when classmates would tease and beg me to scream like they did, when I totally blanked out and forgot my dad's name, thought the word "hobo" was a swear word, when this girl bullied me at recess one day because I was too skinny and weird (still am though, not as skinny though, if I was I wouldn't be alive) and then lifted up a shoe and wanted me to lick the bottom of it (ah yes one of the many traumatic memories from my childhood :^}), and how I was so confused with doing this thing on the computer that the teacher I had got annoyed and mad at me because I didn't understand how to do anything. Oh, childhood.. sometimes I really freaking hate you :-). 

Wow, look at that. That's 30! 30 unnecessary facts about me! I love (absolutely love!!) talking all about my brain's random thoughts and strange memories to people on the internet who still view this miserable blog.

:-) :^) :-) :^)

Bye. ;^;

(forgot to put in the signature for a few posts now; bringing it back)