actually not gonna post that much today

Since it's already around 11:30 pm here..

Getting everything ready for tomorrow took a lot more time than I thought. 

• washed & dried my clothes 

• bought the last essentials I'll need before I leave

• packed my clothes and almost everything else- and packed it in the car 

Yeah, it took quite a while. Spent the day doing that. 

Then I tried to finish a book. But I didn't. I still have a little less than 100 pages to go. Bummer. 

-x-x-x- 

When I said I would post a lot today, I really just meant posting my France pictures. Sorry guys, but I don't think I'm gonna post them before the end of the day. 

Ah, screw it. Whatever. I'm just gonna say some things. Heh.. 

I'm so nervous and excited about starting college. Like wow.. I made it. I actually made it this far in life. 

I'll be a student at what I hear frequently is a very good school. Wait, that sounds bad. Oops. 

But anyway, it's kinda made me feel like I'm not that much of a dumb failure who doesn't have a future and can't do anything right. 

I'm not that. I think? Yeah uh, not sure where I was going with this.. 

-x-x-x- 

Ok, here's the thing. I'm very nervous and sad right now, so I probably can't word anything that good in this post. 

Starting college? Leaving home? Everyone else is all happy and excited. And to be honest, I am too. 

Ugh, this probably sounds very stupid, but oh well. Ok so, I'm sad because I'll be leaving my pets for a long time. By a long time, I mean a few months. 

This post is awful, I'm sorry. 

I'm really gonna miss them. I love them so much. And I'm leaving them. And I --

I currently have Sunshine and Thelma (not Zo tho) sleeping with me in my room. 

Yeah, I'm gonna miss them so much. Zo too, of course. But Sunshine and Thelma? Ah geez, how will we survive being away from each other for so long? 

Thelma is happy to see me every day. She loves when I open my bedroom door and let her in. She loves sleeping on my bed. 

And she has done so much to comfort me and make me laugh. Like yeah, she is annoying and frustrating at times (and daily..) but she means so much to me. She's like a lifesaver to me, haha. 

I won't see/feel her kneading, I won't hear her meows and purrs.. and it makes me so sad. 

Sunshine is good to.. pet. And she listens to my commands. And her fur is fluffy and good to just press your face into like she's a pillow for a few minutes. 

And, I know everything is worded badly, but I'm sad about leaving them because they mean so much to me, and they saved me from bad feelings/urges so many times. And I don't know what I'll do without them with me in person. 

They're animals. They can't come with me to help me move in. I'll have to leave them in the morning. 

And it hurts because I feel like they'll think I'll just be gone for a week again. I feel like they don't realize how long I'll be gone. I told them about how I'm going to college, but I don't think they really understand that, haha. 

It's not going to be a week. I'll most likely come back home in November, for Thanksgiving break. 

And that's.. that's so far away. It probably really isn't, but it feels that way right now. 

Sorry for the disappointing post. Bye.