my fingers ache, i'm sick of this

Oh hello. 

The movie was good. It's a foreign film. Was worth seeing. 

No classes today and tomorrow. Spending time home this past weekend made me happy. I'm going back tomorrow, sadly. 

College  :'( ../

Eww, allergies. Heck. 

Oh and today's my brother's birthday. Ok.. 

I'm sad. Gotta go back to college and do more papers and exams when I get back. 

Back to college hell. Yay. :| 

It's just a little over a month till Thanksgiving break. A little under ten days more than a month. Right? Yeah? I don't know, I'm tired. 

Anyway... *insert writing transition here* 

For the past few Fridays, I had this poem (idea) in mind I wanted to post. 

But then due to what happened the past few days, I think they added onto the point I wanted my poem to have. 

I'm calling the poem, Distortion. 

It's going to contain themes that some people might find disturbing/uncomfortable. 

But you really should know better if you've been reading my poems, chapters, other prose (?), and way too many vent posts. *shrugs* 

My fingers ache. It's hard to move them how I'd like them to. I have to type so much on my computer's keyboard. I'm typing this on my phone. Oh and on top of that, my fingers feel distinctly colder than the other parts of my hands. The part of my fingers where the fingerprints are feel the coldest. Wow, they hurt. 

I suddenly got my allergy symptoms while I was sleeping. Now I feel sick. But it's probably the allergies. I better not have gotten a cold from other people. I swear.. 

Umm... *insert other transition here* 

I thought of a very trashy skit yesterday afternoon while in the car. It's such a bad skit idea because I don't have enough creativity to be anything more than very vague. 

But yeah. I'm in college. University. Uni. Whatever you call it. 

(... I can only tap the letters on my phone's keyboard with just one finger, huh.) 

Here, have a truly bad skit. Might contain mention of drugs. Yeah, it's horrible. I hate how I came up with this skit idea. 

----------------x---------------

[Background info: Even though they attend different colleges (I'm just gonna call them that instead of switching between college and university // we get it, cutepups, you americanize everything), they are on their fall breaks at the same time. They're talking in the living room in the big house skit location. The skit characters have reunited, how sweet. 

Ardere: *smiles* It's nice seeing you all again. 

Dawn: Yeah, it's been pretty quiet and peaceful without you all here. 

Sparkle: *frowns at Dawn, puts her hands on her hips* For the record, I'm not the cause of the ruckus. Talk to the boys. 

Finny: *sounds nervous* Hey, what did I do? 

Sparkle: *is now face-palming (that's something said in like 2014, stop)* Nothing. You did nothing, Finny. 

Finny: Then say their names. 

Sparkle: Ugh. Fine, Finny, I'll say their names. 

Twinkle: We know we can all hear you, right? 

Sparkle: Yes, I know. 

Finny: Names? 

Duke: *takes off the hood from his, well from his hoodie* I missed you so much, Ardere. You're like the source of my happiness. *looks confused, scratches chin* I'm so sad, haha! 

Brock: What's wrong, Duke? 

Duke: *is strangely laughing* I'm extremely sad! 

Sparkle: I meant those two, Finny. Obviously, I meant Duke and Brock. 

Finny: Thanks for telling me, Sparkle. 

Sparkle: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. 

Duke: *is no longer laughing* I'm a man, and wow, that's messed up. 

Twinkle: Shut up, Duke. We all know you'll always be childish. 

Duke: *attempts to point a finger at Twinkle but points at Fauna instead* Stop being so mean to me! 

[There is a moment of awkward silence. Fierdan and Ryen laugh quietly to each other. Definitely because of Duke. Fauna breaks the silence. She's such a savage omg I love her.] 

Fauna: Duke is definitely a junkie. 

Brock: Hey, his clothes are not trash. Sure, they smell funny, but.. *the realization hits* Oh. 

Fauna: I bet he's either high or recovering from a hangover right now. 

Duke: Stop being so rude! 

Fierdan: *is still laughing* She's just stating the truth. 

Ryen: You're always the one getting yourself involved in alcohol and other drugs. How is college really going for you, Duke? 

Duke: *is suddenly shrieking (not yelling or shouting- shrieking)* It's how I cope! I hate you! 

Twinkle: Do you want to make us all deaf? 

Duke: *shakily puts the hood back over his head* No. 

Twinkle: Good. 

[A few minutes later. Duke walks to the next room over.]

Sparkle: Why did I have bets on Duke to be the first one to try drugs at college? 

Twinkle: We all knew it would be him. 

Sparkle: Hey Duke, how far in the semester did you get your ju--?

Brock: Stop it. Everyone knows I was the first to call Duke a "drunkie" for a reason. 

Finny: Wow, you guys are acting like jerks. 

[Duke walks back, holding the hoodie in his hand. He goes right behind Finny and puts a hand on his shoulder. Finny turns around to see Duke frowning and looking very tired- but also completely sober.] 

Finny: *is clearly confused* Uh.. what? 

Brock: Wait.. what? 

Duke: I planned on acting like that when we met up again for a month now. I just wanted to see and hear all your reactions, and they were hilarious. 

Brock: So you're not a drug junkie?

Duke: *walks around them* Nah, man. 

Sparkle: But your hoodie. Give me that. 

Duke: Sure. *tosses it to her* 

Sparkle: *examines the hoodie which is now in her hands* How the hell did you do that? 

Duke: I have my ways. 

Twinkle: What's going on? 

Sparkle: The hoodie never had any smell. We all just assumed it would smell because of Duke's behavior. 

Twinkle: Whoa, hold on. Give me it. 

Sparkle: *gives the hoodie to Twinkle*

Twinkle: I don't smell anything on it. What the hell is this? 

Duke: *pulls out a tube of mascara from his jeans back right pocket* Oh, I used this to make my eyes have bigger dark circles around them. 

Ardere: That's cool, Duke. You didn't have to scare us all though. 

Dawn: *stares at Duke* Are you majoring in psychology? 

Duke: Not that I know of. 

Dawn: In drama? Are you becoming involved in theater? 

Duke: I don't think I am. So, no. 

Fauna: I can kinda imagine it. 

Duke: Oh, really? 

Fauna: No. 

Duke: You know what? I meant what I said about you and Twinkle being rude and mean to me. 

Fauna: Ah, we know. 

[Duke walks up to Fierdan and Ryen. They've been too quiet. I don't even know why. Maybe I'll explain why as I continue this skit.] 

Duke: I'm surprised you didn't say anything. 

Fierdan: Why would we? Do you think we would notice that you were pretending? 

Duke: Well.. yeah. I thought you were smart when it comes to this kind of stuff. 

Fierdan: Oh, Ryen and I both are. 

Duke: Then why didn't you or him say anything? You should know more than anyone else that I don't want to use alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism. You know it reminds me too much of my past. Come on, I heard you two laughing! You two knew! 

Fierdan: Maybe you don't actually know yourself. 

Duke: Are you saying you know something I don't? 

Fierdan: Yes. Thanks to what Ryen told me when you walked away to the other room. 

Duke: *looks at Ryen* What did you say? 

Ryen: *looks right in Duke's eyes* I knew your words were genuine. They weren't really part of your act. 

Duke: What do you mean? *starts trembling ever so slightly* 

Twinkle: Wait, Duke, the rest of us.. I... 

Sparkle: Stop being extra. Be different for once. 

Duke: *turns away from Ryen and Fierdan to face the rest of them, somehow shrieks just like before* Shut up! Shut the hell up! If I'm still being quote-in-quote "extra" then I'm not consciously doing so. 

Fauna: It's okay. Your personality is extra by nature, so you can't help it. 

Duke: *yells, his voice pitch isn't as high as when he was shrieking* Oh, I'm sorry I can't help but be extra and a burden just by continuing to exist. It's not like I'm not aware of how much everyone can't stand me, no matter how much I attempt to change my personality to make people besides you all to like me at least a little! 

Twinkle: Do you still think you're a burden on us? You're not, you're not... 

Duke: *suddenly looks intimidating, and how he's showing all his teeth while grinning isn't helping* Maybe I should have killed you just like I killed your sister! *gets covered in tiny flames that switch from orange to black repeatedly* 

Brock: Whoa Duke, you can't just threaten to kill people! 

Duke: *looks slightly less creepy, still has the flames switching colors* Stay out of it, Brock! You deserve better, you deserve better, you deserve better.. than me. 

Ryen: *puts a hand on the base of Duke's neck* 

Duke: *surprisingly does not lunge at Fauna or Twinkle, but instead he now stands completely still and devoid of emotion* 

[Everyone stares at Ryen and Duke. I'm starting to enjoy this skit. Ahh.]

Ryen: *talks to Duke* That's right. You deserve better. A better past, better life circumstances, but that doesn't mean...

Duke: *is no longer covered in flames, does not turn around to face Ryen* I'm a burden, so how can I deserve anything better? 

Ryen: Face me. Please. 

Duke: *suddenly starts trembling like before* Why? 

Ryen: Okay, then tell me how college is going for you. 

Duke: It's fine, really. I'm.. doing.. fine. 

Fierdan: What is wrong? You can tell me anything, you know that. 

Duke: Why would I? What would I say? 

Ryen: *removes his hand from the back of Duke's neck*

Finny: Oh, we can totally talk about our college experiences. I wanted to all along. 

[And yet again, Duke changes character completely. Now he is clearly trembling, and he refuses to look at anyone.] 

Duke: Okay, you got me. I lied. I'm not.. I never was... 

Ryen: Was what? 

Duke: Fine! I'm not fine. I never was fine. 

Ryen: Care to elaborate? 

Duke: Cutepups is writing this skit because Cutepups does not know how to show other people honest feelings. 

Brock: Huh? 

Duke: College is a new hell. It's not going as smoothly as you would all like to think it is. I'm not having a good time. I'm nothing without you guys, so I'm all alone at college. I have nothing; I am nothing. I'm not fine. I've been stressed every day, and the assignments I complete are never good enough. I'm never good enough for anything! Compared to everyone around me, I'm a complete idiot. You're right. I am stupid, I am childish, I'm.. *sighs* I hope I die in my sleep. 

Fierdan: Umm, @ Cutepups our creator, are you okay? 

Brock: Huh? How can you just fourth-wall so casually? 

Fierdan: I have no idea, Brock. Can we continue the skit now, Cutepups? 

Me: Yeah sure. 

Duke: College is so hard. We're not even a full two months in, and I don't know how much longer I can take. 

Me: Oh whoops, sorry. Don't mind me projecting on Duke. Ha, ha. 

Duke: I'm so tired. I missed you all so much. I think I'm going insane. Like, I can't handle anything without messing some part up. My destiny is just to be a burden on everyone in my pathetic life. 

Fierdan: You're not a burden. 

Duke: Then why am I so extra? Why can't I do anything on my own? 

Fierdan: Because you're made of part of my soul. You can't ever be your own person because you're a part of my soul. 

Duke: I didn't mean it like that. 

Fierdan: I know you didn't. 

Ryen: Care to face us? 

Duke: Okay. *turns around to face Ryen and Fierdan* 

[You all know what's going to happen.] 

Fierdan: *gives Duke a big hug*

Brock: Dang, Fierdan gives the best hugs. I want to be hugged. 

Sparkle. No. Just no. 

Brock: What? 

Sparkle: Stop interrupting the skit. 

Brock: Huh? What do you mean? 

Sparkle: Ugh! 

[Oh, where was I? Oh, that's right.] 

Fierdan: I thought you knew that there's nothing wrong with you. I'm guilty of what I did to make you who you are every single day. But you've got to learn that you don't burden anyone by existing. 

Duke: Then why do they all hate me? 

Fierdan: I don't hate you. 

Duke: Not you. Them. 

Fierdan: They don't hate you either. 

Duke: I meant people at college. I don't belong anywhere. We don't go to the same schools. It hurts me. 

Ryen: Do you want to transfer? 

Duke: No. I mean.. I don't know. I think the same things will happen no matter where I go. 

Fierdan: Is there a reason you came in here pretending to be high? 

Duke: *breaks out of the hug* Sometimes I wish it would be better to fall into old habits. *sighs* Sometimes I think the only way I could truly be happy again is if I let drugs take over my life. Because, well damn, I can't seem to ever stay happy when I don't have any. And if not hard drugs, then I wish I could stay drunk all the time, so I could accurately hold the title of drunkie. 

Ryen: Duke, what do you need help with? I've been through my first year of college. I can help. 

Duke: I need help with everything. I'd rather not be more specific than that because I hate showing emotions. I hate how I always end up doing that though. 

Ryen: You're not a burden on any of us. Please let me, or anyone else, help you. You can really be fine again without having to be high or drunk.

Duke: *sounds monotonous* Okay. Sure. Whatever you say. 

----------

I, I can't think. 

Bye. 

(PS: I only thought of the first two or three skit dialogue paragraphs on Sunday. I decided to elaborate from there, which resulted in this longer than I intended to write skit mess. I was writing this post while working on finishing a lab report. Bad decisions were made on my part. Halfway through the skit, my fingers stopped aching and feeling frozen. I seriously could only move my thumbs and index fingers on both hands. My other fingers wouldn't move. It felt terrible. I have other skits in mind; I'll post them soon if I'm not too busy. But it's that time of year- midterms. Ah, I'm stressed. Yeah, thanks for reading. Bye again.)