(ok but why tho)
(idk just roll with it)
I just finished doodling some Dukes.
See? I included his name. :)
Left: I planned on drawing him as a child, but it ended up looking like this. I didn't draw the top half of Duke's face and head on purpose. I didn't know what to do with his left arm. His right hand is over his heart. Dang, how majestic. I don't know how to draw arms crossed over a person's chest. I tried to draw that, but I failed.
Top Right: Just a casual scene of Duke either standing on top of someone (with that someone's body between their legs, mmfgh).. or he's sitting on someone's chest. I didn't draw his face again. It adds some mystery. What does Duke's face look like? I'm not telling. See, so mysterious. And what's he doing? Just stabbing some long, hard object into the guy who's lying on the floor's eye. The guy is Taurel, and he sure looks shook tm.
Bottom Right: I have this aesthetic picture of Duke's eyes stuck in my head. I tried to draw it, but honestly, this looks terrible. What are those eyelashes? They look so fake (:/ smh). It's supposed to be his bright amber-colored eye with crow feathers floating in front of and around it. And crows flying in the white part of his eye. Why? Because, Night Crow, that's why. Duke is such a black bird, ok. He's like such a black bird guy. Screw being a fox, Duke is part-crow.
-x-x-x-
I'm so stressed.
I'm scared.
:~}
-x-x-x-
This has nothing to do with the picture. Here's a skit.
[It's during the middle of the night. Some time between 2 and 3 am. There's someone walking fairly quickly down a street. Besides the sound of chirping crickets, the only other sounds are of this someone's feet repeatedly hitting the pavement and this someone panting. A few minutes later, the someone walks up a few steps and stands on a house porch. The someone presses a right index finger to the doorbell. The finger doesn't move until the door opens. There is a tired-looking man dressed in gray pajamas in the doorway.]
Ryen: *is the tired-looking man in gray pajamas who opened the door*
The Someone: *takes finger off doorbell, slowly lowers hand*
Ryen: *sighs* What are you doing out here at this hour, Duke?
The Someone: *is Duke*
Ryen: *gestures for Duke to come inside who does just that, closes and locks the door once Duke is inside*
Duke: Hello, Ryen.
Ryen: Why are you here? How did you--?
Duke: *voice sounds flat/serious* I walked. And before you ask, I didn't bring anything with me.
Ryen: *yawns* You, you walked?
Duke: Yes.
Ryen: No wonder you came back now. It's nearly 3 am.
Duke: It took several hours of walking. That.. place is a few hours away when driving.
Ryen: You just left your college to walk all the way home?
Duke: Exactly, my dude. *walks more into the house, has Ryen follow him into the kitchen*
Ryen: Do you want anything? Water?
Duke: Yeah sure.
Ryen: *takes out a tall glass and pours water into it to the brim, gives it to Duke*
Duke: *drinks all the water in the glass in under ten seconds, gives Ryen back the glass*
Ryen: Wow, uh, you drink fast.
Duke: I was thirsty.
Ryen: *puts the glass in the sink* I can see that.
Duke: I can easily down anything. *smiles at Ryen* Got any of the good stuff?
Ryen: I just gave you water. Go eat something.
Duke: And then you'll show me all the good stuff you've got stashed?
Ryen: It's late. Go to bed.
Duke: And what about you? You're gonna keep all the good stuff to yourself? That's selfish.
Ryen: I'm not giving you any alcohol. You should know I'm the only one who lives here who can legally drink it.
Duke: Ahh, come on, Ry Ry!
Ryen: I said no.
Duke: Don't you know I have to have a lot in my system before I seriously get drunk? I can handle one drink.
Ryen: You're a minor, so no.
Duke: A minor? I'm almost 19. That's how old Fierdan was in the first story.
Ryen: And just like Fierdan, you're both minors when it comes to the drinking age.
Duke: How about just a beer?
Ryen: How about no?
Duke: Why?
Ryen: Alcohol won't solve any problems you have. I thought you knew that already.
Duke: Shut up.
Ryen: Come on, let's sit in the living room. *walks to that room*
Duke: *sighs and follows Ryen*
[Ryen and Duke sit on the couch in the living room.]
Duke: Hey, where is Fierdan?
Ryen: He's sleeping.
Duke: Why aren't you sleeping?
Ryen: I was going to the bathroom upstairs. Then I heard the doorbell ringing. For a few minutes nonstop.
Duke: Haha yeah.
Ryen: Fierdan sleeps a lot these days.
Duke: Because he stole my sleeping pills.
Ryen: Actually, no. He can sleep without them.
Duke: For how long? An hour or two?
Ryen: More like at least seven.
Duke: Seven hours?
Ryen: Yes. I opened his bedroom door to check if he really is sleeping just before I came downstairs. I could tell he really was asleep. He told me he was going to bed at 11.
Duke: Wow, so he sure changed a lot in a year.
Ryen: Yeah, we all did. But you're right. Fierdan changed a lot. And for the better.
Duke: *sounds flat again* Oh.. yeah.
Ryen: Seeing him asleep, genuinely asleep, warms my heart. It reminds me of when we were so young and genuinely happy. And now, well, this is the closest we've ever been to feeling genuinely happy in a long time.
Duke: O.. kay.
Ryen: And you remind me of having another younger brother.
Duke: Aren't we like brothers though?
Ryen: Yeah, I guess you'll always be like a younger version of Danny to me.
Duke: *blinks*
Ryen: Oops, I meant to say Fierdan. Just seeing him happy and relaxed makes me want to call him Danny again. I think he kinda wants me to.
Duke: That's sweet.
Ryen: It is, huh?
Duke: Yeah, it's nice that even though you two had hellish lives, you still have good memories from your young childhood days.
Ryen: *sounds suddenly guilty for what he said* Duke...
Duke: It's nice how you could still have happy memories despite it all. No parts, absolutely none of them, were happy in mine. I used to think I had something good and happy in my childhood, but I found out that, was, all, shit.
Ryen: I shouldn't have...
Duke: I shouldn't have been spending my life glorifying that bystander. You're right. He shouldn't have just allowed her to abuse me. If he loved me, he would have intervened. But no, he didn't.
Ryen: Just let it out, Duke, let it out.
Duke: *voice is drowning in emotions* Change for the better, huh? I'm happy for Fierdan, I really am. I, on the other hand, will never get that. There never was, and there sure as hell never will be, anything good to come with me being alive. Nothing is good. I'm too.. I don't deserve anything good.
Ryen: *places a hand on top of one of Duke's*
Duke: I've done bad things. Very, very bad things. I don't deserve happiness. I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay! *emotions are loud and flooding him* There really is nothing good to come out of my life. The only purpose my life has is to be tramatized. All my life is just traumatic event after another and another. Fuck, Ry, I'm traumatized. *pauses to take a breath, cries* Why did they do that?! Why did she.. why did he.. do those things to me? What did I actually do to deserve them to do that to me? Fierdan, he.. he isn't even a bad person. He didn't kill anyone except your guys' father. And that was a good thing! *speaks under his breath* I'm actually the bad person. I killed so many people. I.. I killed them. So many people died because of me.
Ryen: Look, Duke, you are changing for the better. Those disgusting things they did to you is all in the past, in your shitty past. The further away those events are, the better you are becoming. You're getting farther and farther away from them with each passing day. That's change for the better.
Duke: Don't you get it? I'm not a good person! Saying my name and that I'm a good person in the same sentence is a paradox. It can't make sense!
Ryen: I never said you have to forgive them for what they did to you. But you can think about--
Duke: Forgiving myself? Why would I forgive myself for being a monster who kills people?
Ryen: Forgive yourself for the other things.
Duke: Forgive myself for causing innocent people to die? For threatening people? For breaking his body without taking him out of his misery? For having no mercy?
Ryen: Look at me. I'm the reason Soulless was the way they were. I'm never going to forgive myself for what I did. I still think I'm a monster because of those actions of mine. I'll never forgive myself for that, but that doesn't mean I can't forgive myself for other things.
Duke: Like what?
Ryen: For.. I don't know.. allowing them to damage your body. For you damaging your own body.
Duke: Ha, yeah okay sure.
Ryen: I'm serious.
Duke: I know you are. I just.. can't. I'm sorry, Ryen.
[Duke stands up and goes upstairs. He stands in front of his bedroom door, but then he turns around to go to Fierdan's. Duke opens that door to see Fierdan's outline on his bed. He closes the door and goes back to staying in front of his door. There, he lies down on his side and hugs his knees to his chest. He closes his eyes. A few minutes later, Ryen sees Duke and thinks about opening Duke's door and tucking him into his bed, but then he decides not to. Instead, he simply whispers "good night" before going into his own room.]
Goodnight. <3
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