Just about all the pile of stressful work my teachers piled on me before winter break is over with now. (3 more days to go.. yes!).
So anyway, sorry to the rest of you mysterious people out there who view my blog. I'm distancing from here, and being more active on DeviantArt (yeah, I swear on there sometimes, so what). Like, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but sometimes when I post, what you say in the comments makes me think you don't get what I intended to mean in the post. And those people that actually do understand, I communicate with them on other sites (like DeviantArt).
Not that I can really blame you other guys. I don't know all you (like Anonymous people) that well. And, idk, I feel uncomfortable explaining to people I don't know all too well. And don't get me started on short/irrelevant comments. Those comments make me think that you didn't actually read my post, care enough to even bother, or you just don't put into account anything I said. It's annoying, guys. And no, it isn't one person.
And to tell you the truth, those of you who occasionally comment that I'm not close with (I honestly don't consider those of you my friends.. I barely, if at all, know you), I feel that you don't get what I say in my certain type of posts. You take it in a way that I didn't intend it on being. Those I'm close with know what I mean (well, for the most part). But the rest of you don't.
I think I'm growing hesitant on posting here because you'll take what I post the wrong way. *cough* my last 3 posts *cough*
I'm over that now. I'm not even gonna explain what I meant. Because I find no point in doing that. Too bad, deal with it.
So yeah. Bye guys.
~ Cutepups
(By the way, I feel better.. slightly. Thanks for asking.. said no one I referred to in this post. Might post more poems/other writing pieces soon.)
[gathers strength to post comment] you don't know how happy it makes me when I make you happy...eyheh. I'll be waiting for your poems which I creepily read as well as looking at your blog a couple thousand times per day - an obsessive habit.
ReplyDeleteAww ;w; <3
DeletePfft.. I creepily view your DA and tumblr a couple times a day. So I don't mind how many times you view my sites. XD
*couple THOUSAND times
DeleteI do read the entire post, and I _think_ I understand it. But I am younger than you, so uhh.. I don't expect you to reply to all my comments so don't feel forced to, don't feel forced to post either.
ReplyDeleteWell, kind of. I'm pretty sure only one (MAYBE two.. idk) people (only counting online friends) fully understand why I post like that, and the reasoning behind it. Well, I tell them why more specifically than just on the blog.
Deletefunny, i'm getting a feeling this is directed to me. loving that you're assuming that i don't understand you. of course not, who said that i was right? it's just an opinion based comment and that's just your mind trying to manipulate you. was it not you, who said in previous posts that you don't want those "aww *hugs* it'll be alright!! C: <3 love love*" ?
ReplyDeletedo want to feel loved, to feel cared or not? make up your mind. i'm getting salty here, because the feeling is mutual.
Meant more than one Anon, and this non-Anon person who comments short/irrelevant comments. I delete some of it though.
DeleteWell.. yeah. No one I only know online fully knows me (of course), but I try and tell one (maybe two.. depends) the situation on other sites where we talk more privately. And yeah, it's my fault that I don't explain what I tell them on here anymore, so of course you other people don't know the full situation and assume what I mean. But I don't feel comfortable in explaining on here.. there are more people I don't know that well who can easily take what I post in a way I didn't intend. Such as directing a post to someone in a way that doesn't have the background info on this site.
Anyway. Actually, I don't want people to comment by assuming the whole situation both ways. I don't want just simple cheesy feel-better comments when I post vents onto here. But I don't want comments from people that think they know the situation but don't. The reason I vent most of the time is because of what happened with an online friend on a different site but also views this one. And it makes me feel guilty and it's hard for that person to understand since I can't even fully understand and explain it myself. But comments that are like "you're a liar.. make decisions of what you want".. yeah, they're as equally unhelpful. I KNOW you (and most other viewers) don't understand because I DON'T explain everything on here anymore BECAUSE there will be (and are) judgemental people out there who will take what I intended my posts on meaning (but not directly saying) in a way that isn't fully what I implied.
Yeah, I have trouble on deciding what I want from people. I feel guilty being this way (well, mainly just online) way too often. I feel empty knowing I can't really explain my feelings, and knowing the other people understand if at all. I've been feeling easily tired and just there recently. I typed the last few posts BECAUSE I feel guilty that I don't know.. whatever. That's how I am. I hate being this way. I've been indecisive on a bunch of things that most people know since just about forever. And recently I've been feeling guilty for being this way.. and I can't help feeling I'm bringing all you people I know on the internet down. Ehh.. I used to call myself depressed (I know better not to now, so don't rage on me about that) because of what I said just sentences earlier. I didn't call myself depressed back then because I was sad but because of what I just said. Sure, I was sad/not as happy as I've previously been, but the main reasons I felt depressed are I feel guilty (online for the most part) not knowing what I want (for myself, for other people, etc.) and I'm sick and tired of it all.
(If you're even gonna bother reading this entire novel-long *exaggerating* comment.)
Mind if I interrupt? I think that >everyone wants to feel cared for. So does Cutepups. But she gets mixed messages. of course she would want to feel loved... she doesn't understand when people say comments that seem like they ignored everything she said, or something. She likes it when people try to understand her.
Delete@ Queen: Thank you.
Deleteno one's assuming what you meant, cutepups. they just want to make you feel better and of course, because you push away the 'support' they give just makes me wonder why you even post it on here? i mean, why don't you have a separate site where 'pesky' anons like me don't 'interfere'?
Deleteas queen said, "she likes it when people try to understand her." idk why, this seems false. you probably already noticed but i'm a friend of you cutepups. i've been trying to make you feel better along with your other loving friends but you seem to never take it. you make me feel useless when you still drag on with these 'posts' because i know that anything we do to make you feel better doesn't work. you don't want *awwwweeee i love uuuu huggy huggy hugs!!* ~~<3, you don't take advice, you continue to pity yourself and make others feel sorry for you?
this is my perspective, at least. maybe your other friends don't see it but i do, and again, no one thinks the same and everyone looks at things differently
... wow, I really don't know what to reply with. But, um, (wow, I'm hesitant on what to say lol) thank you. Thanks for realizing it all and reminding me. Ugh idk.. what you're saying is true, but I took it as a hate (not really "hate".. what's that word?) comment when I read it this morning. Gah.. comments make me way too anxious (lol what). Like, ok idk, I like how you're not actually blind (though I thought you were when I read your first comment.. but I think differently after reading this new one) to how I am, always repeating this thing I do. I like how you realize that and not most others thaf comment. Because I honestly do need that reminder that you basically already said. (This comment probably sounds weird.. I know).
Deleteglad i got through to you, then. :) honestly, it was just some sort of a 'heads up', i guess
Delete