idk here's a good vibes post

Hey. I'm so tired. The medicine is starting to take effect now. My nose is still congested though. Like what is this. Come on man.

But yes. I am here. New post. On the same day. Woohoo-- *falls onto bed*.

Oh yeah, I remember now. Haha. XD

90k views now. 20 followers now. Yeeeeee ily ;v;! I love you all! <3

Oh wow. I just realized I was sick at the same time last year. Well, a few days off. And great, I'm sick now.

My posts from last year at this time. Haha yeah, I was still in my crazy blogging phase. With YouTube song lyrics videos on almost every post. Or a skit. With Duke being high on drugs or something.. I don't even know anymore. Haha, I just reread this AJ post from last February where I searched up AJ usernames that had the characters from the animes, Attack on Titan and No Game No Life. My comments though. Wow, what an embarrassment. So many regrets. Oh dear..

Well anywho, if those specific school things aren't brought up, the chances of me crying inside and having a breakdown in my own head is greatly lowered. Because those school things are a big tangle of stress. They weren't today, so I feel less upset about those things. As of right now. It's kinda hard for me to breathe now though.

Yes, crying inside. So many times nowadays, I feel like I'm crying in my head. Ah yes, suffering is fun :)). Like my eyes feel a certain way during this. They're dry.. too dry to cry. And it's hard to blink. Eye pain.. great. Vision very slowly going bad.. great. Fun.. :))

Actually, hold up. My friend just texted me something cool and not too nerdy for once. Yeah..

Wow, that was nice. :'D

I'm on such a personally deep level with you guys. Even more personal than my real life friends. That's kinda scary. Like, you know, how we trust each other.. we do, right, bros?! Even though we don't share what we look like irl  (I actually did once.. that was swaggy) and hear each other's voices, I love chatting and commenting with you guys. And if you're too shy to comment and not on the other sites I go on, then you can just email me. Like about.. idk.. whatever. Wow, I type idk in my posts a lot. Haha ye. It's me saying I don't know in a very timid and unsure voice. Like saying I don't know seems to loud and certain for me while idk isn't. Whelp, I guess that technically could happen. Live videochatting. Haha ye. Except I only have a personal Skype that I haven't been on in several months. And how my house and voice are both.. ugh. My voice is a different type of ugh. It sounds from a place that's not from where I live. How I got it, I have no idea. And my house, like where I live, it's a mess. Wow, I'm getting personal here. Better watch out, S-, oh shoot I mean S-Cutepups! That was a close one. Haha ye. I'm so tired. How am I still awake. I took drugs today. Because I'm sick. When we were younger, my siblings used to tease me when I would get sick (which was pretty often because I was a messed up child) and repeatedly namecall me, "sicko!". Now we grew up. We moved away from each other. Well, they did. Because of college and all. Yeah.. this paragraph is getting way too long, I'll cut it here.

Now some self-care reminders for myself! They can help you out as well, if you want. ;D

Read them to yourself. I as in you. Yourself. Yes, you.

- I am real.
- I am not fake.
- Things revolving around school don't mean the entire world.
- I can and will survive this.
- I have reasons to live.
- People care about me.
- I look cute sometimes.
- I play with my hair to look like a boy sometimes.
- Physical sicknesses don't last forever, and mental ones don't always have to either.
- I can get through this.

Well.. g'night!