Polar Bear Day, Old Drawing, and other stuff you may ignore

(Pfft.. now I can't post using my computer on Chrome. So I have to post this on Internet Explorer. :/)

Hello, people of the internet. Call me S.

So.. technology is a butt. Anyways, today's (typing this when it's still February 27th*) Polar Bear Day. Go polar bears! :)

I also drew this around a year ago. It's a cougar, lioness, panther, or some other big cat like that. I can't draw anything good now, so have a good drawing from a time when I could actually draw decently. Haha.



(It looks more realistic than this irl. Ah.. oh well.)

... yeah ok so. School update: school sucks. I can barely stand A days. I hate those days so much. But life goes on. Life always goes on. At the same boring pace each day. Some days faster than others, I suppose.

 I doubt I'll ever go back to my hyper and "funny" posts from way back when. Because, like I said, life goes on, man. People grow up. People realize stuff in the past causes feelings of regret now. And yeah.. I grew out of my hyper "funny" blogging phase. It embarrasses me a lot. Haha, I really should move to another blog, but I'm too tired to do all that, so here I am. Me being me. So many changes. So many people changing. I'm not much of a fan for "change" right now. It's kinda painful. Growing up and all. Whew.. I really hope all you guys are okay though.. at least managing. I really am awful at helping people, but yeah, I might not show it, but I really do care a lot about people, about you guys. Like, it hurts when I know I can't be of much help to people. Especially when they have all those burdens on their shoulders.. yeah, being on those other sites.. wow, I'm pathetic and pitiful. Being online this much is emotionally draining (physically draining when it goes to a certain point too) for me. It's just so upsetting.. so many changes.. more irl or more online, I don't even know anymore. Like yeah sure, I'm changing too. It's just that.. I don't know, I'm just lagging behind in life and with this technology too. Hey, I might possibly think of you guys as some of my best friends. But, I'm sorry, but I'm still doubtful and skeptical on that. And I always will be. No matter what you do or say, I'll always doubt your words saying you're like me, that you don't secretly judge me in your head. People judge others, that's how things are. No one's really happy nowadays, I know that. So neither am I. It's not your fault, it's probably not mine either (though I doubt that still). Haha, teenage angst, amirite. You can be my best friend, but I still won't trust every word you tell me. I'm pretty sure you're the same way with me. Nah, it's my fault I'm like this. I've shut my door on so many people, and these are the consequences. The perks of being alone dies after a while. I love you, friends. I feel more on edge nowadays than ever before. I honestly hate being here and on those other sites. I really do. Because, haha, it's upsetting. Being this way, seeing how others are. When they're doing bad, it upsets me, but when they're doing well, it also upsets me.. so I don't know. Those thoughts like.. well like, "what if I just leave everything without a trace? one hour there, the next gone. but no, I can't. I'm too selfish if I leave, I'm too selfish if I stay. being online with these guys is when I can actually be myself and not feel as lonely. I'll always be lonely, so what's the point? all of them actually have a friend.. a closer, better friend. ugh, why can't I just go and start over?!". Yeah.. sorry, just had to get that out. I KNOW you're not okay, specific people. It's frustrating when you can't just cure someone's unhappiness and insecurities away. Ugh, I can't even talk right, never alone actually help someone. I don't really know how much I can take of this. Oh look, it's late at night. I can't make myself fall asleep till it's very late. Just had to.. let this all go and say it. Sorry again for everything. Hope you liked my drawing. Bye guys.