Which One?

Hello. I'm back.

I'm 16 now. I don't feel 16. I feel like someone who's, I don't know, 13? Oh man, I'm so terrified of driving but they refuse to understand that. Wow, so much hate I have. Anyone else want to silently scream with me?

The play I saw on my birthday was great. I didn't really have much time to post afterwards that day. Or really check any online thing.

Before I go on, I'm going to now share with you some faint details of a dream I had before I woke up this morning. Be forewarned.

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Cutepups Dream: I got this college pamphlet thing. It was boring. Then on the last page, there was this ad for a college game. It said it was "educational" and "fun". So I got the game. The first time I saw the game, it looked like an educational game. Then I bought it and inserted the gaming card into the gaming console. As soon as I inserted the game in and everything finished loading, I felt like I was high on drugs. The gaming screen was all glitched and fuzzy with this constant buzz, and it reminded me of sinning bees who took LSD. It was, of course, really weird. I then pressed "PLAY" to play this college and educational game. It started off with this vortex of flashing colors that made my eyes burn. Then when that ended, the screen went black. Then there was this world that reminded me of a world from a Mario game. It was this purple and black gooey world. And the light purple blocks were the places you walk on while the purple and black goo was where you die. The light purple walking blocks were the perimeter of the world or whatever it was. And the goo filled in the inside. Soon enough, a drunk Mario (that red plumber dude with the cap and mustache) appeared in one corner on top of a light purple block. He was holding this giant apple/tomato (not sure what it was at that point) as if it was on fire. Then the gaming instructions told me to make Mario run while holding the giant apple/tomato. He almost made it to the end, but then he revealed that the giant apple/tomato was indeed a bomb. So an inch before beating the level, the bomb exploded and Mario plunged into the deadly poison goo. I then reset the level. I kept on failing because Mario kept on dying. Then one time, the level started out with Mario carrying his bomb as he sat on top of a giant Yoshi. Yoshi was huge. Halfway through, the bomb exploded and Mario plunged to his death again. Then there was just this giant Yoshi walking. Then Yoshi made it to the end. I was so proud. But then Yoshi fell off. And Yoshi's green and white eggs fell after him. So then Yoshi died, and then the goo turned into blood. I then destroyed the TV, the console, the controller, the gaming card, and the gaming case with a hammer. After that, I was on this school bus. Then I woke up with the strong urge to pee. : )

What does this dream mean, ol' wise one? Please, do tell.

I was so sad when Yoshi killed himself. Mario just annoyed me. I have no idea why he had this bomb disguised as an apple/tomato on him. I didn't take any drugs last night. I also have no idea why the game was considered an educational college game, key word being educational.

Eesh, that's messed up. Um!!

I figured it out. I just don't like Tuesdays. That's it. It doesn't matter the classes, I just don't like Tuesdays.

Yesterday's school day was pretty alright. Things at home? Well, the happiness from the day before (aka my birthday) totally vanished. And, well, things sucked. Lots of yelling and arguing. With actual reasons this time. I guess I could post yesterday, but I didn't feel like it. Like geez thanks life.

Something happened. I don't really want to say what happened, but it kinda is like deja-vu with a few changes. Haha, wow I never get over anything. Haha, I remember bad memories far more than good ones. Woop.

I'm so stupid and inadequate. I can't do those things right like they can. Lab stuff. It's embarrassing. They're probably thinking how malfunctioned and dumb I must be. Haha, hey it's me the disappointment always needing to get help and depend on others to make sure I'm not messing anything more up.

It.. just.. ugh.

Life.. meh.

At least I have something to look forward to in the winter.

But that's so far away.

So.. whatever.

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Oh yeah, I have a question/poll to conclude this post. Comment your votes in the comments below, even though I am a nervous mess when it comes to comments.

Okay, which statement do you agree with/relate to more?

"Love is stronger than fear" OR "Fear is stronger than love"

I'm more on the second one: "Fear is stronger than love".

The stressed out and anxious wreck picked the second one? What a surprise! *cough cough*

Like ok, I think that love doesn't solve, doesn't heal, everything. Love can make fear more tolerable, but most of the time fear doesn't fully go away. Anyways, people fear love sometimes.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm just curious to see what your mind's take on this is.

Well.. bye.

~ Cutepups (meh..)