gets more bitter as each year passes

Um.. yes.

Gotta keep this post short.

Ok.

I had the rest of my classes today (spanish, history, gym, physics). They were alright. Had to do this one question/one answer ice breaker (that's the word!) for two of the classes. It wasn't that bad.

Overall, today was kinda better than yesterday. The morning before school was better too.

Unfortunately, the classes and room numbers lunch times schedule thing changed. So I don't have the same lunch time with said friend.

Haha, there's me sitting with mutuals. Eh whatever.

I think I posted around this time last year that I felt stupid (I mean I still do, it was because of a lack of honors classes). Well, this year I'm taking honors.

*totally isn't masking a fake identity to fool that I'm somewhat smart*

...... pfftpfsh nah

Wow, last year's goal has been reached. Yay.

Anyway, it's true. It's like I get more bitter and all those unhappy feels as each year passes.

Beginning of freshman year me was so.. uh, no apathy to start. And, well, more energy. And fear (darn you anxiety). My posts were still up best and positive.

Then go on to the beginning of sophomore year me. Still had some sense of caring so much. Not yet apathetic at times. Not as excited for high school; more tired of it. Still made happy posts with energy. But then vented a few days later. Well ok then.

And then there's me now. Apathetic more often; not bothering to care as much for things I should. Tired of school already. Doesn't make happy and energetic posts that much if not at all anymore. Disappointed lots of people. Problematic and suffering in my head due to my cruddy self 24/7. More dead inside than ever before. Finds it harder to smile. Likes to sleep but finds it hard to fall asleep. Also hates naps. Bitter and has no hope for the future and future things. Too socially inept. Just.. there.

Yeah, things have changed.  Yeah..

High school changes people. Ok it does things to you. Bad things.

People in high school being consistently happy. Ha, I don't trust people who are stable mentally and physically throughout high school.

I don't trust a lot of people anymore.

Because, well, the concept that some people are truthfully happy and don't feel like a fail just about 24/7 is so fake to me. Like I just don't understand.

People can still smile and laugh irl? At people's jokes? And just things in general? Wow, what a concept. Another wild concept is actually having friends to talk to. Ha, ha.

Approaching people and talking to them. Like, that's so scary. Social expectations.. scary. Society.. scary.

I always feel hurt either emotionally, physically, or both. Ha, ha.

Gotta go now. Bye.