But before I go into that...
Hello! It's finally the weekend! I've been even more tired than I already had been! I already have an essay due on Monday! And a math quiz that day! Wow! Ugh!
Some days this week I've just been too tired to type up posts. Yeah, sometimes I'm actually not in the best mood to post. I made a journal on my dA last night though. Um.. I also have little interest and motivation to do really anything, and when people also don't comment, it makes me more unmotivated to post things as often. It's hard for me to find the point in doing lots of things nowadays.
Want more cruddy info about my life and mental-related shiz? Then read my dA journal. I'm too lazy and a bad person to rephrase it on here. Oh, you don't know my dA and/or don't have an account? Too bad.
Ok? Ok.
This weather is gross. It's September and it's still between 90 - 110 degrees Fahrenheit. It's too hot for this time of year. Hot weather is gross. Oh and the humidity. Ugh, ugh, ugh.
The kitchen light is working again. Yay. Uh.. still don't feel safe using the toilet in my bathroom, though.
I turned one of the sketches in my sketchpad into this corrupted drawing. It's so creepy weird. I don't even know how to explain it. It's a different type of drawing..? Different color scheme? I might need to put a warning before I post it. Just in case. Because those parts might look like they're blood. A creative type of gore..? Haha yeah.
In real life, well, life isn't that fun and interesting. Life sucks. Ok. It's hard to be happy.
I hate my current profile pic. But I hate my current art even more.
I got my problems. :^)
Anyhow, onto the songs!
I've been feeling (both emotionally and physically) bad and all those other negative words a lot recently. Especially because of things going on irl. That directly affect me.
Bad things have happened. So, of course, I've been feeling like crap.
But to make my days at least a little better, I've found these other songs by Paradise Fears. If you don't already know (not like anyone already knows anyway), the song "Battle Scars" is one of my all-time favorite songs. And, man that song is so beautiful.
Well anyway, I've discovered these two other very short songs that relate to the "Battle Scars" song.
Listening to these songs for the first time was like a cleansing. Like yes, songs totally can give me the will to live.
Yay, freaking, yay.
Here, I'll give some links. Sure, there's a religious aspect in somewhere. But still. Motivational song. Makes me more positive. Life-saver songs.
Intro: https://youtube.com/watch?v=sxP4Xgu3QJU
Reprise: https://youtube.com/watch?v=YI5i8FZihJQ
See? Two very short songs. If you're also feeling down, then I suggest listening to them. There are other songs by them out too.
I love these songs so much. <3
Bye.
Not really into songs- I usually draw or sketch to calm myself though...
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I'm not sure what honours class is. Is it like advanced Science stream classes?
I actually do take advanced classes too-
Oh, and, to be honest, I don't really like how you write nowadays. The sarcasm is cringy- my apologies, but that's probably how you feel now- you mentioned a lot of bad happenings in life, so are you OK with moving on? Some people don't like to move on or tell people about their problems, so I'm not sure what's up in your life in details that make the posts seem that your day was utterly horrible and rubbish (especially current happenings in your house).
If not, if things get worse, maybe you should try talking to someone you trust. A sibling or mom perhaps? Maybe said friend (some people trusts a friend better than family) or maybe a school councillor (not that they can do much). Some people feel better with the load off their chest- but it's up to you what you'd like to do in the end.
I don't even know what I'm typing about anymore.
Oh, listening to certain music/audio makes me feel better. Drawing whatever is also good in the moment, but when I think about it more I tend to get stressed and feel disgusted by my art. (ha~)
DeleteOh, honors classes means advanced level classes. And AP (Advanced Placement) is a higher level than honors. But there are some AP electives (so not academic classes), and that's the one I take (AP). I also (finally) am taking an honors academic class.
Oh, haha, I cringe at everything I do/don't do, and sarcasm is included. I know I repeat myself a lot, but I feel like if I don't, people will get confused on whether I'm being sarcastic or not. Though that's probably not the case.
(note to self: why am i replying to the long comment when it's late here and when i'm sleep-deprived)
Moving on doesn't really work right now. Well, I guess it could.. but I feel bad and all that for things that are happening in the direct future (so coming up very soon). And my past and current self are constantly making me regret myself and fear for future self.
Yeah, I feel better getting things off my chest (aahaaa) too. Then later I feel bad for doing that too. (feelings sure are funny things). Oh, I tried that. Didn't really work well though. If I tell a sibling or my mom, they'll tell what I told them to the rest of the family. Which, in this case, means they're concerned or something like that. So I have trust issues telling them anything that I don't want anyone else to know. Gotten backstabbed that way a few times. And they (and friend) don't ever know what to say when I try to bring it up. And it makes everything just more awkward. Or they'll just say things I already know, which doesn't really mean that much to me. Talking to other people I don't know that well scares me, and I had a bad time in the school counseling center in the past.
I know it's up to me. It's my life; it's my decision. I know that. It's another thing that scares me.
Well, same here. I don't move on. I linger on the past forever. Of course, unless...
ReplyDeleteHmm, taking issues off your chest can help, but not all the times to me.
Sometimes, when you make your choice, it does scare you, but sometimes you just need to let it lead you, and NOT you leading your choices.