oh boi

Hello. :) 

Whoa, can you guys believe it? I didn't just write one chapter this past weekend- I wrote two! Wow, what a shocker! 

I've been reading them over so many times already. I know the chapters are way shorter nowadays. Is that good or bad? I'm not that sure.

For the most of 2016, I really hated writing the story. Um.. death. Ha, ha.

For 2017, I'm trying to turn it into a strength again. Something to live for. To write and continue the story/ies. Something to make life more interesting.

It's pretty hard though. I'm still filled with too many regrets. Those will never leave me, so I'm trying to be at peace with it. 

I'm still on somewhat of a writer's block when it comes to story writing. So perhaps that has something to do with the shorter length of the chapters nowadays. Sorry to the readers out there. The characters' POVs are so much shorter now, making them more boring. I'm still stuck on how to write scenes leading up to more interesting ones.

I've also realized that I'm not that good at making my characters more realistic. Like, you know, more human (please understand me lol). I like making them cry. They cry too much. I'm bad at properly showing emotions (in a way?) and writing them out descriptively is quite a challenge for me. 

Writing is hard. Dang... 

Haha, I've been listening to the playlist of songs I would listen to when writing chapters in the past a lot more recently. Oh man, that edge. And by that, I mean songs that are Duke and Fierdan's theme songs. 

Memory lane, huh? :'^) (Anthem of the Lonely.. I swear..) 

To be honest, I think Duke's POV in the newer chapters are boring. It's pretty boring when he isn't problematic and involved with violence. 

Oh wait. He's always problematic. Haha. 

Violence will come again. In the chapters in the 60s, is my best guess. 

Haha, I made him be able to control his fires during the long break I had from writing. Like if you go back and read chapters in the 40s, he can't control the black fire and his wings. Now in the 50s, he's got it under control (at least more than before lol). 

They all aged and changed a lot in that one year. Ok, that makes a whole lotta sense. 

Uh, major spoilers for the two chapters I just wrote are below. Yeah. 

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Ok good enough lol. 

This isn't really a spoiler, but I like to read a certain group of chapters (usually ten) as arches. Like in the whole story, there are their own story arches. 

Does anyone else feel that way? Or is it just another weird Cutepups-only kind of thing?

Uh, I'll try to explain what I mean. I'm terrible at explaining things, so bare with me. 

Chapter 20s: Duke and Twinkle leave their homes, their love develops, discover they have powers, go searching for Dawn

Chapter 30s: Duke and Twinkle are out of regular civilization, Duke gets the dark side/becomes an edgy problematic crybaby, Fierdan gets introduced as basically a serial killer who is very evil, Duke gets an identity crisis/what the heck's going on?, Twinkle becomes wary of problematic Duke who's evil, they find Dawn

Chapter 40s: Physical love, Duke and Twinkle get separated from each other a lot, Twinkle gets into her past self's castle and finds out more about herself and her power, Duke and black flames, Duke and Fierdan being problematic, Fierdan is actually possessed by Soulless and wants to die very badly but can't, Dawn is obsessed with Duke which at first seems romantically/sexually but then their relationship now is too confusing to comprehend, more physical love, the public is now fearing Duke because they know he is related to Fierdan, some people make plans against Duke, Duke becomes obsessed with death

Chapter 50s: Duke and Fierdan make plans involving death, Duke has many problems, suicide and self harm trigger warnings holy hell, Dawn is so very mysterious, what the heck is Dawn's relationship with Duke/Fierdan at this point?, Twinkle gets out of isolation, Twinkle and Dawn hang out together and are kinda friends, Dawn is so mysterious by the way, Duke and his mother meet again and she helps him, Duke nearly gets caught by the two main people who are against him but he escapes them, Twinkle and Duke get used to their powers more and can control them, Duke is like more serious and done and depressing than in previous chapters, Twinkle is confused on whether she likes romance with Duke or not, Twinkle doesn't sleep that much anymore, Dawn knows a lot of things except her parents which is weird, Twinkle isn't as weak as she was before 

That's all I can think of that summarizes the chapters in groups of 10s, on the top of my head. Just the main major details. (Not including chapter 10s and the single digits because I'm lazy lol) 

Anyway. Onto actual spoilers for Chapters 57 and 58. (Yay~) 

I originally was planning on writing one chapter. But, obviously, I changed my mind. I felt like making "Anonymous POV" and Fierdan have the only POVs for a whole chapter.

And yes. They're brothers. Heck, I love them. (like if you cry every time) 

Right now at the current time in the story, the brother is an adult in his early to mid 20s. So are the other guys there with him. 

Fierdan is most likely in his late teens or early 20s (19? 20?). 

As foxes, Duke and Twinkle are known to be 14. That disturbs and haunts me a lot, so I decided to make there be a slight age shift between the Jamaa world and the *insert name of place* human world. I'm thinking of making Twinkle and Duke be equivalent to 17 years old in human age. 

I'm not sure how old Dawn is. I'm still debating on whether to make her be younger than Fierdan and his brother, or to make her older than them. 

In the human world, I already revealed that Fierdan is known as Daniel or Danny. Dawn is known as Dawn in both worlds. I didn't reveal the other fox characters' names as their human equivalent yet, I didn't reveal Ardere's human name yet, I didn't reveal any names of the humans. 

For a general time, the whole story takes place either one hundred or two hundred years in the future. Some bad catastrophic event happened in the world. Think of it like a dystopia. So things happened. It's complicated lol. 

The brothers.. iconic. 

Their father was this very evil doctor called Zios. His main working partner was called Mira. They made it seem like they were kind people who were in a romantic relationship to the people in Jamaa. 

However, in the story, they're not. They're both cruel people who have done corrupt things. 

In the actual game of Animal Jam, I do like Zios and Mira. They're good. The story is just an extremely far out AJ fanfic that's not even about AJ and isn't appropriate for AJ at all. The only reason it's related to AJ is because it takes place in Jamaa and has Zios and Mira. If I change those names, then the story can be all mine. I might change the names since I'm not interested in AJ anymore. 

I hate Zios (in my story lol). He's so bad. It makes me mad. That freaking jerk. *~insert words here~*

Oh, what did Zios do? Let's see...

He, with help from Mira, created this project called Jamaa. When it first started out, it made everyone die by turning into this black substance, and then they became ashes. 

Zios planned for people who went against his plans about the Jamaa project to be killed. In a way, this relates to Danny and his brother. Maybe other main characters as well. 

Zios made his older son be forced to work on the Jamaa project. Both him and Danny were very young back then, so they didn't really understand it. Now he learned after all these years that Zios used him to take part in creating Soulless. Which means if Soulless is a physical person, he is most related to Danny's brother. And yeah, Danny is Fierdan.

Danny and Dawn were both put into Jamaa for its first test run. They were the only ones who survived. Danny is said to survive because he's Zios' son and had part of his brother to protect him. It's still not known how Dawn survived. 

Danny and Dawn forget and leave their humanity. 

Danny's brother (Soulless) tells him about Zios and what he's done (put him in hell- Jamaa). The brothers hate their father a lot. 

Danny, who calls himself Fierdan, with Soulless controlling over him by telling him things vows to hate and never forgive Zios and makes himself Zios' enemy. 

He gets obsessed with killing. He's full of anger. He hates everyone except Dawn (another mystery) and seeks revenge for everything he's been through by killing lots of people, who are now foxes, in Jamaa. From the black substance that came when he first came to Jamaa, he turned them into phantoms. His severe hatred for Zios made him lead them to know to hate Zios and Jamaa. 

So basically, this is what happened. Zios planned anyone who went against him to be killed (including someone very close to him and his sons). Zios made one son create Soulless, making him go against his own brother by making him only capable of having negative emotions and obsessed with death. He sent his other son to a place where everyone else died except him and later to find out that Dawn survived too. 

Yeah. That's Zios in my story. What a guy. 

Ok lol.

Fierdan feels like he deserves the pain that Soulless puts on him. Fierdan loves pain because he's obsessed with it and death. He thinks about the Jamaa Mist again and what's beyond it. Him, having no memories of the human world, doesn't know that it's on the other side of the Jamaa Mist reality barrier.

Taurel and Risak are back again. Calliah stole everything from them. She ended up being on Duke's side rather than theirs. They did not expect this. Taurel is mean. Two other people who are dressed similarly to Taurel and Risak appear. They knock Taurel unconscious. Who are these guys? Yet another mystery.

Duke and Ardere are still walking in the forest. Duke tells Ardere that his life is worse than his own. Duke's is clearly worse and he knows that, but he denies that when talking to Ardere. 

It's night and Twinkle is awake. Is she becoming an insomniac? Who knows. She goes to Dawn and says she wants to ask her two things. One being why she kept wearing the dress if she can easily change clothes, and the other being if she misses her parents.

This question freaks Dawn out. Dawn, being very mysterious, has memories about her past. The only thing she doesn't know is who her parents are. Which then makes her not know if she has any siblings.

 And yeah. That's the two chapters. Nice lol. 

I really have to go now. Bye lol.

~ Cutepups