I look down to see the color black held in my paws. Black pants, black shirt, black jacket. They're all here.
"Why did you move them? I kept them in the shack," I say to Dawn.
Dawn replies, "I checked the shack only to see you weren't there. The real question is why you left it. So why did you, Duke?"
I hold up the jacket. Something about it feels different. But what?
"Well, at least you're still alive. Twinkle and I were starting to get worried about you."
Twinkle...
"You allowed her to wear my jacket, didn't you?"
Dawn hesitates before nodding her head. At least Twinkle is okay. The black flames touching Twinkle sounds like a nightmare. That can't happen.
"Where did you go? Twinkle and I looked for you."
The hairs tickle the back of my neck as I raise my head to the blue sky. It's another gorgeous day.
"I was feeling better, so I decided to go out on a walk."
Dawn sees me looking up, so she does the same. We sigh at the same time.
"You know I put you in there because of Fierdan's urges, right? He wanted you to kill me. Your homicidal and suicidal thoughts were getting hard to control again. There's a reason I told you to stay in the shack, so I could take you out of isolation when you got better," she says.
I close my eyes. "I'm better now. My mind isn't flooding with thoughts of homicide or suicide anymore. It'll be okay, Dawn. I swear."
I've got to tell her. I can't pretend around her forever.
The tips of my fingers brush the top of her right paw. I look past Dawn to the door left ajar.
"I'm gonna change," I tell Dawn as I walk past her.
Once I'm in the bathroom, I lock the door. The last time I concentrated on myself in a mirror, glass shards were in my paw and wrist. My blood trickled over my paw and down my wrist.
I had large wings of black fire back then. It was difficult to control the black flames. I couldn't conceal them.
The eyes in the mirror blink back at me. The dark circles under my eyes look so obvious. I haven't really slept in ages. In fact, I can't remember the last time I had a peaceful sleep.
Mirrors and I had some rough times in the past. I've hurt myself in front of mirrors several times. This time, however, I won't make myself bleed.
Instead, I turn on the tap. Water flows through the spaces between my fingers into the sink. Then I let the water cover my face. The cold feels so satisfying on this hot day.
I turn off the tap. I don't dry my paws. Looking at my reflection, I run my paws through my hair. Droplets stay at the ends before falling down my neck.
Let the water cleanse me; purify me of all my wrongdoings. Make me just like Twinkle, a good person. Wash away all the bad from my body and mind. Make me well again.
My hair reaches the bottom half of my neck. It's getting pretty long. I don't remember the last time I let it grow out this long. I like how it looks though.
There also used to be a clear difference in color between the roots and the tips of my hair. Now all of it is the same dark brown, nearly black, color as the tips only were before.
I wonder if Fierdan and the black flames have anything to do with this. They probably do. I'm looking more and more like him.
Stepping away from the mirror and counter, I take off the red clothes.
A minute later, I walk out of the bathroom wearing my black clothes. I left the jacket unzipped.
Twinkle...
She has to know the truth.
I don't see Dawn. Confused, I step outside. I don't see her anywhere. That makes me smile.
However, I do see Twinkle. I go up to her. She doesn't blush when she sees me this time. I find it interesting how an outfit change can make such a difference.
The look in her eyes is more similar to when she walked to Ardere and me just beyond the forest. A look of serious frustration.
"Duke, we have to talk."
Our toes touch. I grab one of her paws. It feels so smooth and gentle compared to my own.
"I have to tell you some things as well," I say while studying her jawline.
Inches away from our lips making contact, I see a flash of blue light. My left cheek stings.
Twinkle lowers her right paw. It's in the shape of a fist.
She actually punched me. What for?
Her blazing blue eyes remind me of how my eyes get sometimes. Her grin reminds me of my own. Her words remind me of words I would say.
Twinkle reminds me of myself.
With her eyes twinkling in the light, she says, "You don't have to say anything about it. It's okay, Duke. I already know."
Then I blurt out the words that have been burdening me for days on end.
"Dawn and I kissed while you were away."
I'm a little surprised to see the corners of her lips still turned up in a smile.
"I already knew that. We have more similarities than you think."
She even laughs.
"Dawn kissed me too," she says.
Okay, I did not expect that.
That special look is in her eyes.
"I am just like you, Duke. Whether you believe me or not is up to you."
No, she can't be like me. She's too good to compare herself to me.
Then I see her paw on the middle of my chest.
"Oh and one more thing, Duke. Knowing that you have feelings for Dawn as well, I want to make it clear. I'm not interested in keeping what's left of any possible romance we once had."
Though I'm reluctant to, I nod my head.
"Okay, Twinkle, I understand. What's the rest of the news you have for me? I can handle it."
Then she lets only the blue color of her eyes show. There is so much intensity in her gaze.
Then comes the blue shining out of her claws. A short time after she spreads her arms out, blue wings appear.
A strand of orange hair blows forward on one side of her face. A strand of blue hair does the same on the opposite side.
"It turns out I actually don't have ice powers. The reason why our abilities are so similar is because my Elemental Power is also fire. You see, we're two halves to the same coin. Yours being hot orange fire from Zios; my half being blue ice fire from Mira."
Now more than ever before does Twinkle have a striking resemblance to myself. It scares me.
TWINKLE
Duke's reactions were priceless. It feels great knowing something that he doesn't. I still have a lot to tell him.
"Have you ever noticed how many parallels there are with us, Duke?"
Haha, he's so confused.
"What parallels?" he asks with a hint of unease in his voice.
Then I start explaining everything I can think of to Duke.
"We both, in some strange ways, are related to Zios and Mira. We have opposite fire Elemental Powers. We both have a black bird affiliate. We both have endured some type of abuse from our parents. We both harmed ourselves using Xs."
I can tell he's starting to get uncomfortable. I fly up a few inches from the ground.
"We can both fly," I say before landing.
"Our Elemental Powers are the first and second strongest ones. Mine being the stronger one."
Duke laughs. "Yours having more power than mine? I doubt that."
I laugh too. "Yeah and I'm the only one who has a combination of two elements in one. Fire and ice. In fact, blue fire is supposedly hotter than orange fire. But since I have ice in my Elemental Power as well, my blue fire turns into having ice characteristics."
"So what you're trying to tell me is that yours is basically cold fire that's easily mistaken as blue ice?"
I put on the most serious expression I can. "Yes."
I laugh again a few moments later.
"Any more parallels you got for me, Twinkle?"
I take a deep breath. "Actually, there are more. We both want to kill a specific person who negatively affected our lives."
His eyes widen. "No, no, no. You don't have Fierdan and Soulless invading your brain like I do. You aren't a phantom like I am. You don't want to kill anyone. You're not like me, Twinkle."
Right after he says that, his bottom lip quivers.
"I just said that, didn't I?"
I tell him yes. And then I ask him what he means by phantom.
Duke takes off the jacket. A few seconds later, his shirt as well.
While his eyes are closed, he places his right paw over his heart. He takes a few steps away from me.
Black flames shoot out of his claws. Two large wings of black fire shoot out from his shoulderblades.
He removes his paw that covers his heart. The purple part of the purple and black flame is glowing.
He opens his eyes. One tear falls out of his left eye.
It's my turn to be surprised. One eye amber; one eye purple. A faint purple flame appears in front of his left eye.
His voice is barely above a whisper.
"Don't you dare say you're similar to me ever again. I'm Fierdan. I'm a monster. This flame mark on my heart indicates that there is phantom blood inside me. I'm a phantom. I have indirectly caused you to be injured by phantom attacks. I caused you and Fauna to die. I have violent instincts. Stop comparing yourself to me. You don't want to be like me!"
His voice cracks when he says that last sentence.
"You didn't kill me or Fauna," I say, trying to reassure Duke.
More tears fall out of his left eye.
"Yes I did! I'm a demon and you've got to exorcize me, Twinkle!"
"No, Duke, you're not! You're not him. You're so much better."
"You don't know that! I am Fierdan whether you like that or not. Even though I haven't killed as many people that Fierdan did, I still have had thoughts of killing some people. At one point, one of those people was you, Twinkle."
"It's okay, Duke," are the only words I reply to him. I repeat myself a few times.
"Remember when I told you I would kill my mother the next time I saw her?"
I nod my head. Of course I remember. That was our first fight. It was while we were on the Tall Tower's roof. Duke had said that there were phantom attacks and other violent events happening in fox territory because of his mother. Now we both know that those attacks are because of Fierdan.
Duke wipes the tears from his eye. The purple flame around his eye has disappeared. The black flames, however, are still visible.
"I met her the other day. It was weird though. She was actually being nice to me. She didn't hurt me. In fact, she might have just saved my life."
A few minutes later, the black flames disappear as well. Totally forgetting his shirt, he puts on the jacket.
Seeing how he looks like that makes my face get warm.
Gosh darn it, Duke. Why do you have to start looking like that?
His smile makes my heart ache.
"I also think you should know that I'm going to die soon."
My heart skips a beat.
"Wait, hold on. What do you mean? You can't die, Duke."
Dawn was right. Duke actually wants to die so badly. How long has he been hiding this important information from me?
That smile of his hurts me.
"I won't be alive to experience my next birthday. I've got four months left at most. Then I finally won't be able to hurt you or anyone else ever again. Because by then, I'll only be known as Fierdan."
He laughs sheepishly.
"Then I finally won't be able to hurt you or anyone else ever again." No, no, no, no, no, no.
"Who do you want to kill, anyway?" he asks.
"Admiral."
"Admiral, huh? Guess you're right, Twinkle. We do have some parallels. I want her dead too."
I move my paws in front of me. "Oh no, I'm not actually being serious. I don't want to kill anybody for real. I just hate her a lot."
Are you sure about that, Twinkle? Don't try to hide the fact that you are a killer at heart just like how the Duke Fierdan is. Duke's fire is obvious just like the demons he has to face. Your fire is less obvious, and you have your own demons to face yourself. You have evil in you, but it's shown in a different way than Duke or Fierdan's. Stop hiding from the truth, my dear.
That night, I dream about those two yin-yang foxes again. One bright orange fox and one bright blue fox.
Then the orange fox stands up and turns into Duke. The blue fox does the same and turns into me.
Our bodies are like spirits. Ours combine to create one body.
I'm too tired and sleep-deprived to wake up from this dream.
Our bodies combined like a type of fusion don't look like something entirely new. I've already looked like Duke before. I am his blue counterpart.
Parallels. So many parallels. You and Duke are one of the same. Parallels. So many parallels. Parallel lines never end.
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