Twinkle's Story: Chapter 58

TAUREL

I get up, pulling Risak up with me. I look at his clothes- they're torn up in places just like mine. Some places are splattered red with blood, but a little blood shouldn't mean anything to us. We're still alive and breathing, and that's all that matters.

"Get up, you idiot," I mutter. Risak is at least twice my body weight, but I end up having to drag him along the side of the road. 

That freaking vixen...

At long last, Risak says something. "Hey, where did they go? What happened to them?" 

I put my paw on my face, and slowly drag it down my face. Sometimes Risak is so much of an idiot that I question if he has a brain. 

Too frustrated to say anything, I just continue trudging on with Risak still leaned against me. After a minute of grunts and heaving breaths, I give up and don't care if he stumbles and falls behind me. 

"Where did the car go?" he asks in his stupid voice. 

The only reason I chose you is because you're the only one who doesn't feel uncomfortable with the idea of torture. You low empathy, reynard. No person with morals would have agreed to torture someone upon my request. 

"Calliah betrayed us. She used the weapons we had in the front seats on us, got Duke, and left with the car. She stole everything from us," I explain. 

Risak's eyes widen. "Wait, does that mean we're lost out here? What should I do, boss?" 

I roll my eyes. "You know what you could do? You could shut your mouth and let me freaking think." 

He lets out a defeated sigh. I smile.

After walking for a half hour in silence, I see two other guys in navy blue. Perplexed, I nudge Risak and point a finger at them. 

"Hey, did you think someone sent out a search party to find us? Let's see who came to save us!" I say in excitement. 

Risak looks cautious. "I don't think that's a good idea, boss."

I just tell him to shut up. 

When I reach them, I feel disgusted by the fact that Risak was actually right. I don't know who they are. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

One takes off his hood. He smiles at me. It makes me uncomfortable. 

"You're not welcome here," is all he says. 

The next thing I remember is feeling something being knocked on my head and losing consciousness. 

DUKE

"Oh wow, your life seems awful," I say to Ardere after he tells me his life story. 

"No, yours sounds far worse than mine," he replies. 

I shrug. "Come on, let's go."

He nods. We don't talk for a while. 

After a wide turn, I look down at him. He looks confused when he sees me smiling.

"You know what, Ardere?" 

"What?" he says as if he's not really here.

"You kinda remind me of someone I used to know. He was a little stubborn, sure, but he had a lot of determination in him. Kinda like yourself." 

"Who?" he says in total puzzlement. 

"I ended up hurting his feelings. I don't want to do the same to you. I don't want to hurt you." 

"You won't hurt me, Duke. I promise."

I suddenly stop. What does this fox-loving wolf know? 

I lower the volume of my voice to just above a whisper. "You don't know that. I used to think I couldn't ever hurt certain people, but I ended up hurting them big time." 

Ardere smiles. "No, Duke, you don't understand. I know you. I mean really know you. I bet I know far more about you than that person you're talking about." 

"No, Ardere, you don't. I barely know who I am myself, so I highly doubt you know more than I do." 

We continue on in silence.

I close my eyes. I remember the boy's face. I remember the target behind him. I remember seeing the dart in the bull's eye. 

I remember the target turning into my mother. I remember the bull's eye being her heart. 

I remember watching helplessly as she turned into Twinkle. I remember the blue turning red. I remember all the blood pouring out of her. 

I remember the fire. 

I open my eyes. 

"His name was Junior." 

TWINKLE

We finished our "training" a few hours ago. Now I feel like asking Dawn some questions. 

I enter the cave. It takes me a few seconds to adjust to the sudden darkness. It's darker in here than outside. 

"Hey Dawn," I start. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

She smiles. "Not at all. What do you want to know?" 

I bite my lip. "Actually, it's two things. I'm sorry." 

Dawn doesn't mind though. 

"If you could change your outfit so easily, why did you continue to wear that torn up dress for so long?" 

She stretches her arms up and yawns. "Maybe it's because I like wearing that dress."

Not satisfied with her answer, I ask her why. 

"I like to keep the scent of Duke with me. His scent is all over the dress." 

I roll my eyes. "You are so obsessed with him, Dawn. It's kinda gross." 

She laughs. "Obsessed? Well, when you have to protect someone from certain things, you tend to become a little obsessed with them." 

She pushes back her chair and stands up. 

"Enough of this matter. What's the next thing?" 

Disappointed in the sudden end of the conversation topic but not wanting to argue, I tell her the other thing. 

"Lately I've been thinking about my parents. I haven't seen them in months. This adventure, if you can even call it that, I went on with Duke made it hard for me to see either of them."

Dawn, no longer smiling or laughing, looks directly at me. 

"I want to know you, Dawn. I don't want us to remain strangers. I'd like you to become my friend."

In a flat tone, she says, "I'd like that too, Twinkle. However, people don't suddenly "become" friends. It just happens on its own." 

Oh, how much I disagree with her. Gaining friends is so much harder than that. If it was that easy, I would have a best friend far before Duke came along.

I take a deep breath and ask the question that's been in the back of my mind.

"I miss my parents. Do you miss your parents, Dawn?" 

DAWN 

The question feels like a shock running through my veins. My heart is racing, my eyes widen- what is this feeling? 

I blink a few times before saying anything. Twinkle just looks at me. Directly into my eyes. 

"My... My parents?" 

She nods her head. "Yeah. Your parents."

I start walking away from her. "Oh." 

She blocks the exit. She's trapping me here. I am trapped. My heart skips a beat. 

"Tell me, Dawn. I want to know more about you."

The words feel like knives. It feels like my brain is being cut in half. It's so painful. 

"I... I don't know."

Her blue eyes make me weak. Not in the good way either. 

"What do you mean? How do you not know if you miss your parents?" 

"I... I can't remember them. I don't have any memory of my parents."

"Trauma? Were your parents terrible people?"

I take a step back. "I hope not. I don't remember, so I wouldn't know." 

"So you don't have any memory of your parents? Not a single thing?" 

My mind is screaming. 

There's so much you don't know.

I start crying. I don't stop. I'm too weak. I'm not strong. 

Twinkle gasps. She never saw me cry before. And if she did, definitely not like this.

"I'm supposed to remember. I remember our pasts. I remember everything else. So why, why..."

My paws are in fists. My claws dig into my palms. Tears stream down my face. 

My voice cracks. I scream so loudly. I can't take this anymore. It's driving me crazy. Not knowing them is making me lose my mind.

"Why don't I know my own parents? I'm supposed to remember them, right? What is wrong with me?" 

I open my eyes to see Twinkle hugging me. She wipes away a few tears from my eyes. 

"There is nothing wrong with you. It's not your fault for having your mother and father cut out of your memory. You remembering everything else is incredible."

She grabs one of my paws. 

"It's going to be okay." 

Tears continue to roll down my face. Now I smile at Twinkle. 

"Okay." 

Do I even want to know who my parents are? My fox parents? My human parents? It leaves me suspicious. Not having any memory of my mother or father doesn't feel right. 

Maybe it's better not knowing who they are. 

Maybe there's a good reason why they're omitted from my memory. 

Maybe I don't want to know. 

Then that same line plays in my head. Repeating, repeating, repeating. 

There's so much you don't know... 

... About who you really are.