Twinkle's Story: Chapter 60

FIERDAN 

Forgiveness is unattainable. Dear child, you did not deserve the treatment I gave you. Pernicious flames slowly devouring you until merciful death has taken over. No blade was in my paws to ease the pain and quicken your inevitable death. You were only a child. 

I've let my resentment take over me. I could only think of forcing everyone I could get my paws on to know how much I suffered. Everyone cheering his name. "Hail Zios," they would say. Treating him as if he is a god. I am his son. Would that make me a demigod? No, it wouldn't. Zios is no god. Mira is no goddess. They are nothing more than the creators of a whole new level of hell. 

Just like them, I don't deserve forgiveness. I can't be forgiven. I'll hurt myself for you, little one. That is the only atonement I can receive for acting on the malicious deed of murder. 

I plant a kiss on that small square. This cloak has an array of colors, yet no other square patch of fabric on it is anything like this particular one. Back when I lived with Dawn in our castle home, I would kill everyone I could get my paws on that praised Jamaa and Zios. Everyone who condemned phantoms even though they were the direct results of having Jamaa invented. Everyone who turned a blind eye to the truth. Only Dawn understood. She was never like the others. That was why I spared her. I would take my favorite article of clothing from each of my victims. Attaching the various colors worn by people made the cloak become the only colorful thing I possessed in my world of darkness. It was the light in the dark. It was the only way for me to get color, and I longed for color. I wouldn't call myself sane, but the colors of their clothing kept me from losing it completely. 

This one square was from the sweater of a little girl. No other patch of fabric feels as soft. No other patch of fabric has that pale pink color. No one was nearly as innocent as that girl. 

Just like how Zios took away my innocence, I stole the girl's innocence from her. There will always be bad people in every world. I am one of those people. Potential for living a happy life has been taken away from me, so I have taken that away from the girl. Jealous of her happiness, her joy. 

Remind me of my wicked deed I have inflicted upon this young girl. Give me your punishment. Hurt me. Make me bleed. Take away everything I have. It's the least you could do. 

I press my nose into the middle of the pink square, and I kiss it again. Then I let the cloak fall to the ground to be covered in the black goop. 

Guilt can only temporarily go away if I'm punished. Soulless punishes me. I need them. 

A few minutes later, I'm standing in front of the locked door. Inside that room is where I have confined Soulless. I unlock the door without a second thought. 

Confining Soulless is the equivalent of taming a wild beast. They're unpredictable. They can easily hurt you and escape. 

I enter the room and immediately lock the door behind me. In front of the far wall is the prison cell where I trapped Soulless in. Shackles and chains cover up the majority of the cell. It's nothing more than a highly secured box. 

Approaching the cell, I see the two large white eyes glare at me. I unlock two of the locks, and they exit the cell. 

"Well, well, well. Who else could it be but Fierdan?" 

From the look in their eyes, their emotions are indecipherable.

"Hurt me," are the only words I say out loud. 

I get taken aback by the reply. What does Soulless mean? No? They love hurting me. Why is this time any different? I've asked for it before. 

"What a pitiful sight you present to me, my dear Fierdan. You are so weak without me. No strength, no muscle, no power. You are nothing without me." 

Soulless comes closer to me. I feel their touch on my lower chest. I flinch. 

"This naked body you present before me is a disgrace. I'm clearly the one who gives you strength and power. The great Fierdan is only a frail and thin body now. How ironic!" 

I feel their fingers gradually go lower. Their touch is delicate, nothing like the touch of them sending electric shocks throughout my body.

The touch disappears when the fingers reach below my waist. Instead, Soulless stands up tall at their full height. They tower over me. 

The white eyes slice through the darkness. It's intimidating as always.

"You won't be able to succeed. Ever wonder why your first life could never terminate me?"

I try to conceal my fear as I speak to Soulless. I don't move anywhere. 

"He was too weak. I won't make the same mistakes that he did."

Laughter is the next thing I hear from Soulless. I stay put even though I don't want to.

"No, oh how far from the truth you are. Fierdan, my dear, the reason you won't be able to succeed in terminating my life is because of one single thing. And that, my dear, is attachment."

"Attachment? I'm not attached to you in the slightest," I scoff. 

Soulless grins. "Oh please. You've captured me and locked me up in here because you don't want me invading your brain. Yet here you are constantly returning to this room. You can't sleep without me giving you pain. Fierdan, you rely on me too much for you to go all the way in ending me. You're way too attached." 

"I'm not attached. I freaking hate you. I am going to win this battle against you with Duke. That's final," I say and turn around. However, I stop myself from walking away by their next words.

"You are too attached to me because we share a deep connection. Before Dawn could, I told you everything. It was me who sparked that fire in your eyes. I took part in creating your new identity in the new world. I've shaped you to become Fierdan. Want to know why I knew about your life before Jamaa? Why I told you about how terrible Zios is? Why I told you he put you here in this hell? Why I told you how he ordered for your mother to be killed?" 

I can only interpret their facial expression as satisfied. 

"It's because all this time I've been holding a grudge against Zios. Perhaps an even bigger grudge than you ever had. I taught you to hate him no matter what. Oh, how I've taught you well. Your anger compared with mine made you become so furious with this Jamaa world that you nearly made a genocide of the fox race. Without me guiding you, I highly doubt you would've become a mass murderer."

Orange sparks appear. "I never really wanted to kill all those people!" 

Mocking. Soulless is mocking me. 

"Orange, huh? Just like your father, Zios. I could have never guessed you still have orange flames inside you."

More orange sparks. "Don't you freaking dare remind me of Zios. I've stopped using orange flames because they disgust me. Reminding me of that monster of a father. The color orange sickens me. These orange sparks must be some leftover flames from that time I set Duke's orange flames against him."

"You and Duke are the same. The only difference is that he's a puppet you and I have created when we were together. When will you two learn that?" 

The orange sparks disappear. I sigh in relief. 

"I bet you never knew this, Fierdan," says Soulless. "Zios created me to act as a guide for you when you first came to Jamaa. Behind his back, however, I worked against him. When I learned the truth about what happened to your mother and Dawn's parents, I vowed to become the ultimate enemy of Zios."

"Why are you telling me this now? I'm telling you to hurt me, yet here you are being nice for once."

Soulless, you are so unpredictable. How could I have ever guessed this from you? 

"I just want to reveal who I really am. It's about time I've told you."

Soulless? Who are you? What are you?

Their white eyes stare directly into mine. They smile. 

"I am partly your brother." 

I suddenly become speechless.

Soulless continues. "I've informed you of the injustices Zios did because he hurt the both of us. You were too young to fully understand what he's done. Zios wanted your brother to be nice to you, but your brother turned against Zios by venting out all his frustrations he had with his father into the program that created me. Zios never found out what your brother did until it was too late. Because by then, we have both landed in Jamaa." 

Am I being manipulated again? I can't trust Soulless. I need to have Duke kill them.

"You see, my dear Fierdan, you're too attached to me with the inability to kill me yourself because of our complicated connection. The two of us being partly brothers."

Oh, but you're wrong. You're still going to be killed one way or another, Soulless. Even if you are part of this mysterious brother I have, I'm still going to have you exterminated from every world forever. 

TWINKLE

I have tried to calm myself down, but I can still feel my heart beating so fast. How can I ever relax now? Duke has returned, and on top of that, he's wearing red. He's in red!

My dreams are becoming a reality. In that one dream, Duke was wearing a red tuxedo. Now in the living world, here he is wearing a semi-formal red shirt and pants. 

I'm exhausted of playing these games of romance with Duke. We can just be friends, right? What about what Dawn said? Maybe she has a valid point. Kissing someone, even if it's on the lips, shouldn't automatically determine the two people are in a romantic relationship. Kissing isn't the ultimate way to show someone you love them. 

But that only brings up another point for me to consider. Were Duke and I every truly in love? 

I lie down right where I am. Finally some peace and quiet. 

I don't sleep for long though. Dawn tells me that Duke wants to talk to me. In private. 

I sit up. "Tell Duke that I'll talk later. I'm so tired."

She just grabs my paw and drags me to my feet. I glare at her. 

"You haven't spoken to each other in weeks. You both have a lot to say to each other," Dawn says.

Not wanting to start a fight again, I reluctantly go to where she told me Duke is. 

I spot him somewhere in the shade. I hope he hasn't been waiting for too long. 

After taking a deep breath, I approach him. 

"There you are, Twinkle. Why did you run away before?"

My face feels hot. Seeing Duke in this outfit intimidates me. He looks too much like in that dream. 

Apart from the clothes he has on, he looks different. His hair looks darker and longer. His voice is a little deeper. These might just be little changes, but they're changes nonetheless. 

Darn it. If he wasn't before, he definitely is now. Duke is a hot fire. 

Act casual, Twinkle. You look different too. He's in as much of a shock by what you look like now as you are to him. 

Duke arches an eyebrow. "Uh, Twinkle? Hello?" 

I am fully aware I'm blushing right now. Twinkle, the great first impressionist. Ha, ha.

"Oh, that's right. Hi Duke. Wow, would you look at that. You're wearing red. You look very nice." 

My words are followed by an awkward silence. My face is probably purple at this point. 

"Uh, thanks? I guess?" he replies.

Around an hour ago, I was covered in blue ice flames. The blue flashing through my veins. Now, however, the only thing that runs in my veins apart from blood is embarrassment. 

"Does my outfit make you uncomfortable, Twinkle? I can take it off if you want."

I shake my head and move my paws in front of me. "Oh no, that's not necessary. I'm fine, you just look different. I don't want to talk about it." 

He takes a step forward. I take a step back. 

"Talk about what?" he asks. 

I avert his gaze. His eyes are way too intense. Was he always like this? 

Barely louder than a whisper, I say, "You were in my dream the other night. You were wearing some nice red clothes. You had pure black eyes in my dream, and here you are wearing sunglasses. I haven't slept for that long since that night." 

Duke smiles and laughs. "Oh, my eyes aren't black. At least I'm pretty sure."

When he is holding the sunglasses in his paw, I see his eyes. They're the same color as before. The same dark shade of amber. I breathe, relieved.

The next thing I know is he's ruffling my hair. His smile is so cute.

"Try and get some rest, Twinkle. The things I have to tell you are probably going to sound unsettling, so I guess it's for the best if we both sleep a little."

I bet I know what he plans on telling me. I keep on forgetting he doesn't know that I know. 

"Oh, one more thing. Do you know where my black clothes are?"

I look at the ground and bite my lip. I put on Duke's jacket. The jacket of the concealed black flames.

"Oh, Dawn has them."

Duke thanks me and goes to Dawn.