Wh.. what? Help.
.........................................................................
As soon as I published both of those posts yesterday, I realized that I can see the sketch pages of Chapter 75 and 76 doodles behind those drawings.
I thought that was so funny last night.
Yeah..
-X- -X-
I got my haircut lol. Going to a party in a few hours.
Am I ready? Heck no.
Heck me.
Heck.
-X- -X-
For the past few days, I've been so tired. Took a few naps in one day.
Multiply that for a few days.
And that's me right now.
I feel tired and dizzy today. Well, not as much after I took an Advil, but still. A weird feeling huh.
I sure am the embodiment of healthy! :^)
-X- -X-
It's been even harder to fall asleep because it feels like the crickets and ciacadas are way louder and closer to my bedroom window now.
So loud.. ow.
I don't sleep that well, oops. Sleeping doesn't fix the tiredness, which sucks.
And having so many stressful dreams doesn't help at all either.
-X- -X-
Like today, I had so many dreams. Even though I wake up a lot in the middle of the night, I still have so many dreams. So what the heck is this, brain? Huh?
My dreams I remember from this morning:
- I kept on getting lost while driving to school. I was always late. I kept on driving on the turnpike, which makes no sense since (a) I never drove on the turnpike before and (b) the high school isn't off the turnpike.
- There was this movie being filmed on the front yard of my house. And they weren't even using the full yard; they were just standing under trees near the driveway. One woman there said she was Anne Hathaway.
(These dreams are cryptic and are haunting me. Please help this fool.)
- There was this old woman with her grandchildren (a young boy and girl) standing on my driveway. None of the cars were there, which was weird. I had to babysit them, I think. But this grandma was very rude to me, and kept on lecturing about gender roles. She yelled at me for giving the boy a pink highlighter and the girl a blue one. Then it ended with me informing this woman that gender roles are toxic. She told me to follow her home, but she ignored me when we arrived at her house. She forgot all about me, and then I had to drive to school again.
- Anyway, all three dreams go back to me getting lost while driving to school. I got in trouble for always ditching school. Then I had a breakdown. (Dream-me I mean lol). I talked about how I can't do anything right and am never good enough. (yeah uh.. umm) Then this dream-me was yelling and crying and saying stuff like I should be dead. (That took a dark turn..)
- And then I was following the actors and actresses from the movie they filmed in front of my house.
Pfft.. that's wild. Cutepups is a wreck!
I am the embodiment of healthy! Threatening things that sound like suicide in dreams? Haha.. I'm cursed, help this fool.
I'm actually not making these dream scenarios up. I really did dream these. What messages are these subconscious cryptids sending me? Hmm? Not good news, that's for sure.
*finger guns* :"))
-X- -X-
I still feel useless though.
Not good enough.
Not doing enough.
Not doing anything right.
Yeah lol.
-X- -X-
Am I alive?
What's going to happen to me?
What will become of me?
Will I ever finish all my plans for Twinkle's Story and write them?
I don't know. I'm sorry.
-X- -X-
Talking about future chapter events is stressing me out a little. Will I actually include all those details in the next chapter? I don't know anymore. I can't stand much pressure. I'm weak, sorry.
But doing so gives me writing goals. I think that made me write Chapter 75 better than older chapters.
Ahh, I don't know what to do! It hurts.
No promises on this but. Ryen will be in the next chapter. Hopefully. No promises though.
-X- -X-
I regret what I said.
I shouldn't have said that.
It's haunting me.
Something is wrong.
There's an error.
In me.
Error.......
I don't know what or who I am anymore.
I don't know what I want for myself anymore.
Help fix this error.........
Error: lost and unknown
I don't know.
No comments:
Post a Comment